Being His Halal

Hatina:

They say life is uneasy, and that life is complicated; but the thing is, they don't understand anything about life. Some don't know the whole essence of life, of prayer, of Iman, some do not know. Life can be sweet as honey, and also as bitter as sorrow, but I guess not everyone knows what sorrow is. Not everyone knows what it feels like to be abandoned, to not be loved…and that is just how my life is.

There's this saying in my head that I have a lot of love to give, but it seems life isn't ready to accept it, so what else do I do? I just have to keep up hope.

Annur:

They say life is as sweet as honey and that's just how it is; life is simple, and no strings attached. At the same time, life has its ups and downs. People do not know that because they judge by appearance, by looks, by character, and not intention.

But the fact is that people don't understand that. They think they know a person, while they don't.

I love to have fun, but my parents don't accept my own idea of fun, doesn't mean it going to stop me, just because I love to hang out with ladies. That's my life.

"Hatina, Hatina, Hatina." Khalid, my younger brother, keeps on yelling my name.

"What is it, I told you to stop screaming my name like that." I tell him honestly.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to show you my new bicycle dad bought for me." He says in a low voice, pulling me outside.

"You know, you still don't have to yell my name, all you needed was to come to my room"

"I'm sorry" he apologizes, and I rough his hair.

"Aww it’s beautiful Khalid, really beautiful, now go spin it around." I tell him as we get outside.

"Yes, I'll show you." my little brother said happily.

"Asalamualikum dad." I greet father as I see him coming out. "Waalaikum salam my dear, how are you?" Dad replied.

"I’m fine daddy."

***********

"Hatina, can you come here now; I want to talk to you." Dad called me, pulling me away from the kitchen.

"Of course." I go to the living room meeting him as he’s sitting on the couch, sipping his tea.

"Sit. What I want to tell you is very important, and I don’t know how you will take it. But, your mother and I have made a decision already, so it’s all left to you now." Father said, making my heart beat faster.

"Abba what is it, you're making me scared." I tell him sincerely.

"Don't be scared; it’s about you getting married." When I heard that word, ‘married,' my heart raced faster. I already knew what was happening.

"What do you mean, sir?" I ask him with full respect.

"Your mother and I think it’s time you get married, and we have already gotten a responsible family who is ready to take you in." I knew this day would come, but I never thought it would be this easy, and the fact that they have already chosen someone for me makes me more scared.

"But Abba, you know how it is. I don't want to get married to someone that I barely know. No, I don't even know him, I don't think I have ever met him… how will I get married to someone I don't even know? How will I cope with that marriage Abba?" I asked sincerely.

"Oh my dear, I know it must be hard, but trust in Allah and trust in me, do not lose faith in Him because He will guide you through your good and bad. Do not worry my dear, we know this family, and I promise you they are a very responsible one."

"They might be, but who knows how their son will be. Abba, I am really sorry to disobey you, but I'm not ready for marriage and I..."

"You must get married Hatina, because it is what I want and you must obey me. I don't know how long you're going to stay here. Don't you know you're not getting any younger? Don't you know how old you are?" My mom came out yelling.

Tears were already forming in my eyes, disabling my ability to speak. Why is she talking this way? I know I'm not getting any younger, but I'm not old; I'm just twenty-three.

"But Umma it's not fair, Khadijah was allowed to marry the one of her choice, why can't I also? Even before a marriage should happen, the two are supposed to love each other, and accept the marriage not being forced upon them." All through this Abba didn't say anything. I glanced at him for help from Umma but no I was alone in this.

"Because she had brought someone before we talked about marriage to her and as a matter of fact do you have anyone in mind to get married to?" Umma said. I don't know why Umma always treats me this way, she would always shout at me and never listens to my own opinion, to her I'm too stupid to even make a decision.

Yes that part was correct I didn't have anyone to get married to because I didn't want to anymore also it’s not my fault anyone I meet its either they are irresponsible or not even taking me serious so I decided what's the use when I could just stay home and play with Khalid and visit Khadijah(my elderly sister).

I couldn't continue that conversation so I just left.

"I'm sorry Excuse me please." I say leaving the both of them.

*******

I was lying in my room replaying all the discussion I just heard and it made my heart sink as I worried about that. The knock from the door made me break out from my trance.

"Hatina can I come in." I heard Abba say.

"Come in." I say sitting up "I know you came to talk about that same issue right?" I say to Abba as he came in.

"Yes I am but this time I just want to give you some advice and then its left to you to decide, I won't force you. Hatina I decided to bring about marriage to you because I saw a respectable family with morals and everything a family is to have, I don't just choose out of the blue, if Allah has destined this to be your life even without meeting the family you can begin to love, to build a fresh start, Hatina I'm not going to force you to anything you don't want to and I have already spoken to your mother." Dad spoke. I wanted to ask Abba why Umma was always behaving so cold to me but I decided to let it go, that conversation was for another day.

Hearing those words from my dad made me feel wicked, like the one thing he ever asked of me and I refused to do it. No it not possible, I will not make him sad, I love him so very much I can't see him hurt even if he doesn't say it, and he can't see fire and want to throw me inside, besides, that just the way life is maybe there is better to come out of these.

"You are my daughter and I love you so dearly that I wouldn't put you in harm’s way, but you should know a lady's time doesn't take long and I only want the best for you" he is right. As much as I dislike this idea, he is right. Dad stood up and was about to leave.

"okay, I will get married Abba, I will accept the marriage." I told my dad before he got out and I saw a big smile on his face showing he was indeed happy at my decision.