Biggest Regret

'You're going to get yourself killed one of these days,' was one of Darcy's mum's favourite sayings. It turned out, on this occasion, she might be right.

With her phone out of battery, her friends miles away and the two creeps tailing her, Darcy knew she was in trouble. The tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood to attention despite the heat of the late-October night. She could hear creep number one whispering to his pal, who snickered in reply. Sneaking a peek over her shoulder, her eyes met theirs, and something in his expression told her it was time to run.

'No time to take my heels off,' she thought as she broke out into a jog. She kept her eyes on the floor, staring at the uneven floor paving with avid concentration. The little flowers and grass that poked up between the cracks, stretching to the sun, were the perfect example of resilience in the face of odds but were also a dangerous tripping hazard. As she hopped over them, something in her peripheral vision caused her to glance up. 

A young man dressed as some sort of freaky serial killer stood at the corner of the road, lighting up a cigarette. He was the first person she'd seen since leaving the nightclub, aside from her pair of stalkers.

Darcy's hand flew up in a friendly wave before the plan had even finished forming in her mind, as if by divine inspiration. 

"Hey, there you are!" she cried loudly enough for the two thugs on her tail to overhear. They had been behind her for five minutes now, following her down every twist of her journey. She wasn’t even taking a short cut, so there was only one reason for them to remain behind her—they had to be up to no good.

The guy looked up, face covered by the blank white mask. He was bound to be confused, but Darcy did her best to convey the situation with her face. She nodded gently and widened her eyes, silently pleading with him to go along with it.

He didn't appear to catch on to her desperate gesturing, remaining still. 

"What do you want?" he grunted, his voice muffled by that pale and creepy Halloween mask.

"Erm, hi, I’m sorry to bother you." Darcy swallowed and lowered her voice. "Please may I borrow your phone? My ride left me, and these two guys are following me home."

The masked serial killer glanced over her shoulder, looking at the two creeps who had followed his example and stopped to light up cigarettes. They lingered by the wall lining the adjacent street as if watching, still intent on doing whatever it was they wanted to do to her. Rape her? Mug her? Or... something worse?

Her hero, though alone, was much taller than either of them but solidly built as opposed to lanky. He had the physique of a man, but something in his voice and attitude told her he was no older than the teenage criminals on her tail.

It crossed her mind that he might not have a mobile phone, or that it might be out of battery or credit.

It didn’t cross her mind that he would simply refuse.

"No," he uttered before turning to walk away, leaving her at the mercy of her stalkers.

In a confused panic, Darcy grabbed his hand, causing him to pause.

"Please," she asked, trying to figure out what his problem was. "I—I'm not trying to steal your phone, I swear. I—I just need help."

Darcy could understand why he might be hesitant. As far as he knew, she could be working with the two guys in some plot to steal his stuff. She vaguely remembered hearing about something similar to that happening in this part of town. A girl had arranged a date over an internet dating site and instead of turning up, she’d sent her male friends to relieve him of his possessions. The poor lad had been stabbed, if she remembered correctly.

His hand was huge, she noticed, as he stretched his fingers and pulled away. Black polish decorated his nails, and thick silver rings lined his fingers like knuckle dusters. Something about them was oddly familiar. 

When he began to laugh, she felt her heart drop in her chest.

"I know that," he sneered, pulling up his mask. He took a drag on his cigarette and looked down his nose at Darcy. "I said no because I can't stand you."

Josh Parker.

She hadn't recognised him in the silly mask and wig. That... and he'd grown much taller since school ended. During school, her friends had made sport out of teasing Josh. Bullying, some might call it.

Of all the people she’d avoided since the end of school, he’d changed the most. He’d gone from a skinny, spindly little boy into a man in the matter of a few months.

"Look, I know I wasn't exactly nice to you in the past, but we're adults now and I'm in danger—" Darcy started.

"Go eat shit and die," Josh said with a grin before replacing his mask and turning away. She'd told him to do the same after he'd chewed her out for upsetting one of his little girlfriends in the school canteen.

Was he serious? He’d seriously leave her in danger because she’d been a bitch in high school?

‘Oh, grow up, Josh, for heaven’s sake!’ she thought but didn’t say out loud.

"I'm sorry, okay?" she cried, running after him. Her heel caught on a stone, and she slipped, almost twisting her ankle. A sneaky glance over her shoulder confirmed her worst fears: the creeps were still hanging about. At least they were keeping their distance for now, but she had the sneaking suspicion they would sprint over and grab her the second Josh left her alone.

She decided there and then she wasn't going to let that happen. So what if she’d treated him like crap in the past, she was a young girl in danger, and he was a scumbag if he left her there.

"Apology not accepted," Josh said.

"Whatever." Darcy shook her head. "I'm just going to follow you whether you like it or not."

He stopped walking so suddenly she almost walked straight into his back. When he turned, he pulled off the mask and stuffed it into his pocket. 

"You haven't changed at all," he said. "You're still a hard-faced bitch. But hey, if you think you can keep up with me in those shoes feel free to try. You remember who held the record for the 500 meters, though, right?"

It was true, and one of the reasons her high school boyfriend had despised Josh. Ted always hated coming second place.

"I haven't had a good run in ages," Josh gloated, stretching each of his leg muscles in turn. He looked back at her with a maniacal grin, and she knew he was serious.

"Don't," Darcy pleaded, beginning to panic. "Don't leave me here. I know you hate me, and you have every right to but please... please don't leave me."

She stared up at him with her best puppy-dog eyes, praying that he would take pity on her. 

His face softened ever so slightly.

"Please, Josh. I'm scared," she whimpered, begging with her eyes. “Please?”

He looked away, let out a long, drawn-out sigh that ended in an exaggerated groan. "Fine."

Darcy let out a sigh of relief as she linked her arm with his.

"Oh no." Josh tutted and removed her arm. "Sorry but... there's a line and you just crossed it."

"Well, can you wait for me to take my shoes off, please?" she asked. "It's really hard to walk in them."

"So why wear them then?" Josh asked with a dead-pan expression.

As she crouched to undo the straps and slip off her favourite new heels, she explained to him that flat shoes made her ankles look fat. 

"So?" he asked, still frowning in confusion.

"So I want to look hot." Darcy shrugged. "I love these shoes more than I love my ability to walk."

"That's stupid," he huffed, but he patiently waited for her to slip off the 6-inch stiletto heels. "And you know there might be glass on the floor."

"You're suddenly worried about me?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"I'm worried about how stupid you are," he said.

When Darcy looked back at the stalkers, she saw they were now sitting on the wall, puffing on their cigarettes as they watched her walk away. Their narrowed eyes, beady and rat-like, glowered as she moved further out of their grasp.

"Thank you," she said, realising she was safe.

When he glanced at her but said nothing, the conversation died. The walk home flashed by in a drunken blur of hedgerows, empty streets, and flickering streetlamps. It was only when they reached the jitty her friends lovingly referred to as 'dog-shit alley' that Darcy woke up.

"Oh please," she whined. "Do we have to take this shortcut?"

"You know those guys are long gone, right?" Josh pointed out. "You could go your own separate way."

The thought of being alone at night filled her with dread. Especially since her home was on the other side of town and she'd have to cross the park to get to it. The Park was great during the day, but after the families and dog walkers had gone home, it belonged to Eddie Carlson and his gang. Bumping into that lot wasn't the top of her to-do list.

"Do you mind if I stick with you and ring a taxi from your house?" Darcy asked. She could tell by the look on his face this was asking a lot. He looked as though she’d just asked him to recite the Magna Carta while doing a handstand.

"Please?" she added, giving him another one of her pathetic looks. It had worked before.  

As they neared the park, she could almost hear Eddie's voice echoing through the thick dark leaves. The wind whistled, carrying with it the whoops and cheers of drunken teens.

"Aww, you're not scared of Eddie?" Josh teased. "I seem to remember your little gang gave as good as you got."

It was true, but Eddie had gone downhill since high school, getting involved with drugs and criminals. He wasn't the same harmless loser who'd once tried to burn down the school with a Bunsen burner.

The prospect of facing him and his group of delinquent misfits alone wasn't a dazzling one. He’d most definitely have something to say to her, and though she hadn’t treated him quite as badly as she’d treated Josh, the chances of him showing the same grace were slim.

"I'm not scared," she said, unwilling to own up to her fears. "Just… weary."

"Well." Josh shrugged. "Your house is that way."

"Please can I just come to yours to ring a taxi? I won't intrude too much, I swear, I'll just call a cab and be gone," she promised.

"You seriously think I'm going to invite you into my house?" he asked.

"Why not?" she huffed in response, growing tired of grovelling. "It's not like I'm a vampire, Josh."

Yes, she was grateful for his help, but he was borderline exhausting.

"No. You're far worse," he said. "I think your forgetting just how badly you treated me and my friends. I honestly don't know how you have the nerve to ask me for anything."

'Is he right?' Darcy wondered. 'Is my safety not worth putting the past behind them?'

Upon reflection, she knew her safety came first.

'Still... you could at least try to apologise to him.'

"Look. I know I did some shitty things. I was... awful. I'm sorry, Josh. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you. Please can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"No," Josh uttered. He looked over in the direction park as the sound of bottles smashing and cheers erupted. "I don't forgive you. But on this occasion, I guess I'll be kind since you at least attempted an apology."

"Thank you. Really. Thank you," Darcy gushed. In all honesty, she didn't give two hoots if he forgave her or not, so long as he didn't throw her to the wolves. 

“Come on,” he said with a sigh. “My house is this way.”

$ Chapter

Darcy followed Josh into the living room and took a seat when he gestured at the comfy looking sofa. She fell into a eutopia of soft throws and fluffy pillows, overcome with pleasure as she lifted her poor feet from the ground. Her soles were aching and probably covered with engrained bits of gravel and dirt.

She looked up as Josh's mother entered, a concerned frown puckering her brows.

"I'm sorry," Darcy said. "I had to take my shoes off, and my feet are—"

"Oh gosh, don't worry about that, dear!" the woman cried. "Are you okay? Do you need me to call your parents?"

"My Mum's away, so it's just me at home," Darcy explained. "Can I just borrow your phone to ring for a cab?"

"Oh, you'll never get one at this hour, the guy who run AB cabs is in bed by eleven," the woman explained. She pushed back the bright purple hair of her Halloween wig from her face and tore off the witch’s nose. "Sorry. We tend to go a little over the top for Halloween."

Darcy smiled as she glanced about the room at the decorations, spiderweb plates of leftovers and the coffee table full of empty wine bottles. Clearly, they had been a party here and the mother was in the middle of tidying up.

The room smelled like cinnamon freshly baked bread, and there was a cake stand with a couple of lonely green and purple swirled cupcakes on the bottom tier.

"Help yourself," the mother said, following her gaze. "They'll only end up in the bin."

"Oh, I... erm," Darcy fumbled, feeling bad about taking their food, despite the rumble in her stomach. By now, she and her friends would usually be sitting about sharing oven-baked pizzas and stories about their night out. 

'I wonder why they left so early,' Darcy pondered. They treated their nights out like a military operation and it wasn’t like them to leave a man behind

When Josh's mum rolled her eyes and handed her a cake, she took it gratefully.

"Umm, it's so good," she said, mouth full of frosting.

"I'd give you a lift, but I hit the wine too hard," the woman said. "I'll go and wake up Josh's older brother."

"He won't be too happy about that," Josh warned.

"He'll live," his mum said and shrugged.

"I never knew you had a brother," Darcy said in an attempt to make conversation. Anything to make this experience less awkward.

"Why the hell would you?" Josh uttered as he slumped onto the sofa. "We aren't friends."

"Josh!" his mother cried, hitting him over the head with a pillow. "Rude."

For a horrible moment, Darcy thought he might spill every detail of their sordid past. Tell her every nasty rotten thing she'd ever done. The thought filled her with dread, as although she'd just met the woman, she wanted to be liked by her. 

'Josh's mum is a cool mum,' she realised. And though the cool mums were laid back and chill in most situations, they tended to revert to mother-bear mode when they found out someone had hurt one of their babies.

"It's okay, he's right," Darcy casually brushed it off while flashing Josh a pleading look, asking him to stay quiet without words.

The look he gave her, both pitying and scathing, made her feel pathetic. It wasn't a feeling she was used to. She was usually the one to make other people feel that way.

"Oh, it's our favourite, Halloween part two," the woman cried, turning her attention to the television as the 'Mr Sandman' theme song played. "You have to stay up and watch it with me."

"Obviously," Josh said, taking a seat next to his mother. 

"I'll just wake up Dale and put a pot of coffee on," she said and whisked off with an excited smile.

"Your mum likes horror films?" Darcy asked. For some reason, this struck her as weird.

"So?" Josh grunted.

Darcy shrugged and fell quiet. Trying to make conversation with this guy seemed absolutely pointless. It made her uncomfortable, sitting there in silence with a cupcake wrapper curled up her fist, but at least she wasn't being raped or mugged. This was simply a matter of survival.

When the older brother entered the room, he took one look at her and grunted in annoyance. He was an older version of Josh, with longer hair, the same faded band T-shirt and black jeans look, and an antisocial scowl. 

"I'll have a coffee then take barbie home," he said. 

Instead of scolding him for calling her a barbie, the mother leaned over and hugged him. "Thank you so much for doing this, darling."

"Hmm," Dale grunted. Darcy got the feeling he hadn't wanted to do it and felt like the world’s biggest burden.

As she lowered her eyes, the mother must have sensed her pain as she started up a conversation. "So Darcy... what are you doing now? College? Work?"

This was a question she'd answered a lot. Adults always wanted to know what she was planning to do with her time now school was over. Life was so much easier as a kid—grown ups would ask, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up,’ smiling at the silly answers: fireman, or superhero, or caterpillar. Now when they asked, they expected a five-year plan and financial forecast.

"I'm doing an Art and Design course at Montsorrel College," she said. "I'm not super talented or anything but—"

"No you aren't," Josh cried, screwing up his face. 

Darcy stared at him, open-mouthed. Who was he to tell her what she was or wasn't doing to do?

"I'm on that course, and I haven't seen you once," he explained, upturning his palms. 

"What do you mean?" Darcy asked, feeling her heart begin to race. "It starts on the 25th of November."

"Of October, you retard," Josh huffed. "Go home and read your letter again."

"W—what?" Darcy mumbled, panicking as Josh's mum scolded him for using the R-word. Had she really missed the first week of her course? The course she'd been looking forward to with every fibre of her being. She’d thought and talked about nothing else for weeks.

"Come on, Lass." Dale rolled his eyes, making an exasperated face at Josh. "I'll get you home."

Darcy nodded and stood, still grasping the cupcake wrapper as she picked up her heels by the straps. She turned to Josh, wanting to thank him. The urge to throw herself at his feet and apologise for her past sins rose in her chest, but the brother was impatiently tapping his fingers. Both Josh and his mum were now engrossed in the movie, leaving her as an afterthought. 

"Thank you so much for—" she began.

"Oh, anyone would do the same. Don't mention it, Hun," the mother said before waving her away without taking her eyes from the screen. "Ahh, I love this bit!"

Josh didn't even look up, grinning at the screen as a gruesome murder scene played out. 

She followed Dale into a car that smelt like weed and junk food and tried not to grimace as his phone connected to the car and filled it with what she assumed was Death Metal. As the singer began to growl lyrics about Satan, he glanced over at her and turned the volume down slightly.

“I—Is this Death Metal?” she asked, in a dumb attempt at conversation.

He turned to her and looked at her like she was the dumbest person on Earth. “It’s Black Metal. Well… I guess you could class it as Blackened Death Metal.”

“Oh.” Darcy nodded and fell silent. She hadn’t known there were so many different types.

"Thank you," she said when they pulled up. "Do you want some petrol money?"

"It's a five-minute journey," he pointed out in a flat voice. "I don't think I'm going to miss the one pound thirty-five."

"Okay, well, thank you so much and I’m sorry for troubling you," Darcy said before closing the door behind her. As she fished her keys from her bag and let herself into her home the familiar scent of vanilla air freshener filled her nose. It was good to be home.

"What a night," she muttered as she plugged her phone into the charger. It was late, but she was determined to find out why her friends had all decided to leave her at the nightclub alone. 

First, though, she opened up her emails, searching for the one from her college. Her acceptance email was saved in a folder marked important. 

'Not important enough to read properly,' she thought, spotting the date. Josh was right. She'd missed the first week of the course.

"Great," she muttered.

She texted all three of her friends, Jen, Alexa and Heidi, but none of them answered despite appearing online.

'Are they ignoring me?' she thought. 'This night just gets better and better.'

As she sat, flicking through the channels to find Halloween two, she couldn't stop thinking about Josh and the way he'd looked at her. Like she was useless. Worthless. Less than the dirt beneath his boots. 

'I'm Darcy Granger. Most popular and pretty girl at Greenhill High,' she told herself, keeping her head high. 'Nobody can ever take that away from me.'

Still, she couldn't get that look out of her head. Loading her social media, she typed the words, Josh Parker, into her search bar. 

'There he is,' she thought, staring at his most recent pictures. He and his friends dressed up in their costumes. A pretty goth girl had commented, 'Murder me, baby," under a picture of him brandishing a knife that looked real. 

'He has a girlfriend?' she wondered and found herself stalking the girl's profile to confirm it. 

"Ugh, why do I care?" Darcy asked the empty room before placing her phone down and zoning out to the movie.

$ Chapter