Bittersweet

“Just stay one more night.” I leaned over Adrius, his body stretched across the leather couch in my den. My hands tangled in his shirt, pulling him to me. “So…” I said my voice raspy. I kissed his nose then pulled back to look into his eyes. “Will you?”

The last rays of light from the setting sun slid down his body, a final caress of warmth before the cold of night. Hunting and being hunted had left a permanent chill on my soul. Adrius and I had returned to the sanctuary of my empty house, after another unsuccessful day spent trying to find Camilla, my great aunt. She’d disappeared without a trace while I was in another world. In his world. The Nevermore.

It’s not that Camilla and I were close, quite the opposite. But she was my grandmother’s only sister, and I owed it to her if nothing else to find out the truth. “Family is family, above all else,” Gran used to say. Mine had been shrouded in secrecy for so long, we’d lost sight of what was real, and what wasn’t.

Adrius hooked his finger inside the waist of my jeans, then slid it toward the button. “Such a tempting invitation.” His mouth quirked into a dangerous smile.

My heart raced and then faltered. I held my breath. Sinking next to him onto the couch, I placed my hand on his chest, feeling the rapid rise and fall.

He slipped his arms around my waist, and I shivered at the touch of his fingers splayed across my back.

I had no idea my life could be like this, before meeting him. That it could change so dramatically that nothing of what I used to know or believe would remain intact. I was completely and utterly changed by what we went through. Being here now with him, like this, was more than I’d ever dreamed possible a few weeks ago, when he’d returned to my world to end my life.

Since then we’ve been here, in the safety of my world, pretending everything is normal. But two weeks of normal isn’t nearly enough. It was coming to an end. I could feel it. The people I loved kept leaving me. Tonight I was overcome with the need to not let go. If we could stay right here forever, exactly like this, entwined and alone, I would.

I lowered my head, until the only thing between us was heat. My tummy tightened as our lips touched. Something clicked. From the corner of my eye I caught movement as a shadow loomed over us.

“Mom.” I sprang upright. “Wh-what are you doing here?” Breathlessly I fumbled to tuck my shirt back into my jeans. “You’re early.”

Adrius sat up straight.

She leveled her gaze, arms folded across her chest. “I’d say I arrived just in time,” she said.

It was Adrius who recovered first, ever in control of his emotions. He extended his hand. “Mrs. Alundra. I’ve heard so much about you. My name is Adrius Thanduir, I’m...”

“Oh I know exactly who you are,” she snapped, sizing him up with a scowl. “What I would like to know is what you’re doing here, in my house, with your hands all over my daughter.”

Hastily smoothing the back of my hair, I tried to explain. “Mom, Adrius, and I are...I mean we’re...he’s my...”

“Boyfriend,” Adrius finished, with a quick side-glance in my direction.

I smiled. Even in the midst of a hideously awkward situation it sounded good. My boyfriend. I had a boyfriend. It seemed so... normal. Ironic, considering he was anything but.

I cleared my throat. “Why didn’t you tell me you were being discharged from hospital early? I would have picked you up at the airport.” My voice quivered slightly, but I don’t think she noticed. Her attention was fully locked on the immortal boy in her living room.

She stared Adrius down a while longer, before tossing her overnight bag onto the side table. Then she smiled one of her infamous smiles she saved for members of the press she particularly hated. “Go upstairs, Lorelei. I’d like to have a little chat with your friend here.”

“Mom, it’s not a big deal, we were just—”

“Go upstairs, Lorelei.”

“Okay, look, anything you want to say to Adrius you’ll have to say to me too. I told you we…”

Adrius put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s fine, Lorelei,” he replied calmly. “You should listen to your mother. You don’t want to make things difficult on her first day home.”

I made a face but left with an exasperated sigh. It was useless to argue, and I didn’t want to fight with her, not after she’d just been released from hospital. She seemed the picture of perfect health, but I had to remind myself that she’d been close to death’s door not long ago, until I’d managed to save her.

Dragging my feet into the hall, I turned to mouth “Sorry” to Adrius.

His only reply was the slight quirk of the corner of his mouth and a quick nod in my direction before my mother shut the door. It was like I was five all over again. I wasn’t thrilled at being sent to my room then, either, especially with Zanthiel, my dark faerie of music, making frequent visits. I hadn’t seen him since the night he’d brought me home from Mythlandria, against my will.

It had been just Mom and me for a long time now, ever since my father disappeared and was declared dead. Another untruth I discovered, as he’s apparently alive somewhere, ruling the Shadow Court of the Faery Islands. The darkest part of the Faery realm. My mother and I hadn’t always seen eye to eye since then. Mostly because I’d been raised by my grandmother while Mom went on tour. But coming so close to losing her again… it changed all of that. Gran was gone, and now even Camilla had disappeared. My mother was all the family I had left, and I needed her now more than ever.

I glanced back down the stairs. Although I may have been changed by what I went through, my mother had not. Which is exactly what worried me. Poor Adrius. What was she saying to him?

I darted to my dresser. The inner eye necklace, the charm given to me in the realm of Mythlandria, held special powers, granting the wearer the ability to eavesdrop on any internal conversation within a few hundred yards. Magic wasn’t supposed to work in my world, but it was worth a shot. Finding the necklace hanging from my mirror, I slipped it over my head. Then I stood at the top of the stairs and listened.

I didn’t need the necklace. Mom was hollering so loudly the neighbors probably heard her.

“Lorelei is my daughter, do you understand me? Mine. So you can take this message back to your elven clan. I have no intention of letting her go with you. Or him. Not with any of you ever again. So do yourself a favor and stay away from her.”

Adrius responded in his calm velvety voice. “Mrs. Alundra. I have no intention of bringing her back to my world, I promise you. My only desire is to keep her safe, from anyone trying to hurt her.”

She raised her voice louder. “Are you trying to deny that they are coming for her? I know all about your kind and your prophecy. You will lead them straight to her if you stay here. I won’t lose any more of my children.”

I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt awful for him, having to endure all of this because of me. I raced down the steps, threw open the door to the study and stormed into the room.

“Mom, stop. Just stop. You’re being unreasonable.”

“It’s not unreasonable for me to keep my daughter safe.” She was pacing like a caged animal.

“Adrius is the reason I survived in the Nevermore. If you would just listen for a change, you’d realize he’s a great guy and he’s telling you the truth. No one is after me.”

She looked at me with wide, incredulous eyes and narrowed them, pursed her lips. “Guy. A great guy. He’s not a guy, Lorelei. He’s one of them. Which makes him a threat.”

I stiffened and moved to his side. “I know exactly what he is, Mother. Just like I know what you are.”

She shrank back a step.

“And what I am. I’ve seen much more than you can ever imagine. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that there’s good and evil in everyone. It’s not fair to judge a person by their family. In some places, it’s a good way to get yourself killed.”

My mother’s gaze swung from me to Adrius and back, taking in the protective hold I had on his arm.

She sighed heavily, and for a moment looked tired and worn out. Despite her immaculate appearance, I had to remind myself she’d nearly died.

And although Adrius didn’t know it, I had every intention of returning to his world to find my father.

“Let’s not argue, Mom. I’ll be fine, Adrius is not the enemy. And I don’t put much stock in prophecies. There’s nothing for you to worry about. Brigit left some soup in the fridge, Let me get you some.”

She shook her head. “No. I’m not hungry.”

I slipped my hand into Adrius’.

“We’re going for a walk and maybe a bite at the café, unless you have any more unfounded accusations?” I raised my brows.

She stared, her mouth slightly agape. Doubt-ridden eyes shifted from Adrius back to me. Finally, she acquiesced with a sullen nod. “Just be home by ten. It’s a school night.” She glared at Adrius.

I gave her a quick hug, noticing it felt slightly more natural now than before. “I’ll be home before ten,” I promised, and we left, shutting the door behind us.

My mother had dealt with my freak-outs and epic scale tantrums for so long, I don’t think she knew what to do with the calmer, even-tempered, levelheaded daughter who confronted her tonight. She was never around much, on tour for months at a time, and challenging her authority became the norm when she was home. Though Gran would take my side, in most cases she’d won by playing the “I’m still your mother” card. Not this time. If her intention was to keep Adrius and me apart, it was a battle she would never win. Way scarier beings had already tried and failed.

The cool evening air filled my lungs and soothed the sting of anger I was still holding on to. I peered up at Adrius. A mix of regret and embarrassment stained my mood. “I am so sorry about all of that. She had no right...”

“Of course she did. She’s your mother,” he said quietly. “She wants to protect you.”

“I know, but she seriously went too far, shouting at you like that.”

“I can take it.” He brushed his hand across my cheek. “She wants to keep you safe. She doesn’t think I’m right for you. And I completely understand her feelings.”

I pushed his hand away. “Well, it’s not up to her. I’ve made my decision. It’s a little too late for her to inject her warm and fuzzy maternal concern. I survived my entire childhood without it...so I certainly don’t need it now at eighteen.” I blew out a puff of frustration into the cool night air.

“Anyway, I had to get out of there because there’s something I have to see.” I grabbed his hand and tugged him in another direction.

Winding down quiet dim streets, under the steady hum of the streetlights, we walked in easy silence. Finally he pulled back, causing me to slow my hurried pace.

“Where are we going, and what’s the rush?”

With every step I’d been walking faster and faster, as if trying to get somewhere before it was too late. “It’s Camilla. I can’t shake the feeling something has happened to her. I’ve been dialing that Peterson guy’s number for the past few days. No answer, no message… nothing. But if he knew my grandmother, then I don’t know, maybe we’ll find something at her house that will clue us in to where Camilla went.”

Gran’s house stood at the end of Main Street, the last house before the shore. She had a view of the beach from almost every window, and even though her cottage had been empty for years, it was still the place I felt most at home. Mom hadn’t wanted to sell after she died, even though she’s never set foot inside it since. It was one of the few things we agreed on.

“One thing that I don’t get though: Why do you think she’s so sure someone is after me? I mean, your father wouldn’t risk sending his men here, would he?”

Adrius shook his head. “It’s rare these days to encounter a being from the Nevermore in your world. I wouldn’t worry.”

I glanced over at him, but his expression was nothing but worried.

Rounding the corner that led to her beachside cottage, I jogged up the fractured stone path leading to the porch, taking the narrow steps two at a time—and stopped dead.

The screen door hung on a slant by one hinge, the mesh slashed to ribbons. The front door had been axed open and lights were on everywhere inside. I froze, unable to force myself to go any further. But Adrius stepped past me and entered, his keen senses searching for danger.

Even in the waning light, the concern straining his features was apparent. He pushed the remains of broken door open to step inside.

“Someone from my world is already here.”

Whoever had broken into my grandmother’s cottage left a trail of broken objects and emptied drawers leading to the back door. We paused in the tiny kitchen. A cardboard box sat on the table. It seemed strangely out of place, not just because it was the one thing left unopened in the house, but it was the only object not covered in a layer of dust. As though someone had left it there recently.

Adrius opened it, his expression guarded. “It’s addressed to you,” he said, handing me a slip of paper.

I flipped it over. For Lorelei. That was it. No indication of who it was from, or why they’d left it for me. Even the handwriting was unfamiliar.

Peering over the flap of the box, I checked out the contents. My books, movies, odds and ends I’d left here years ago.

My first instinct was to call the police. But then, what would I tell them exactly? Nothing even resembling the truth would work. And Mom would hate for something like this to get out. “This is beyond strange. Who could have left this here?”

“Maybe your mother packed it for you,” he said, looking around at the opened cupboards and drawers.

It was as unlikely an explanation as any other. Mom hated this house, and coming here only caused her pain. I couldn’t imagine she’d go to the lengths to assemble a box of things for me, after all these years. And it looked too new to have been left here for long. But then again, who else could have done it? “Someone was here, looking for something, and caused this mess.”

“And that someone may not have been human,” he said, picking up the weighted box with little effort. “I’ll put it in the car. We can look more thoroughly later.” After closing the flaps of the mystery box, he took it to the car. A breeze wafted in through the window, carrying the faint scent of roses. They hadn’t bloomed here in some time. I wandered out to the backyard gardens. Gran’s gardens used to be spectacular, blooming with an endless sea of color and scents and textures. Weeds had grown wild and choked out most of the life, leaving behind nothing but tall stalks of dead plants and decaying vines. A tug of guilt pulled at me. I should have kept the gardens up, done something to keep it alive. I fingered the dried stalk of a rose bush. A thorn bit my finger; I pulled back and popped it into my mouth.

The screen door opened and swung shut with a bang as Adrius came to join me outside.

He slowed his pace to look around. I examined the tiny prick on my finger and frowned. Normally a tiny cut like this would have healed by now. I watched, only moderately disturbed by the tiny bead of blood that seeped from the all but invisible cut. My imagination went into worst-case-scenario mode, remembering the cocktail of dark magic swirling inside of me. The powers I’d absorbed when I killed the ice witch, Octăhvia were fueled by the dark energy Zanthiel had strengthened with his faerie kiss. Not my finest moment, but a necessary evil, as I’d learned most evils were.

Something caught my eye beyond the garden. I wandered out to the far side toward something I’d never seen before.

The occasional chilled breeze disrupted the chill evening air. Waves slapped against the shore in the distance. My finger throbbed, but the cool night air helped relieve the sting. Propelled by something I couldn’t explain, I inched forward, side-stepping tangled brush and weaving through the waist-high grass. I’d never been this far into the garden, and it was especially eerie at night with the light diminishing the further I traveled from the house. I slowed then came to a dead stop.

“Adrius,” I called into the darkness behind me, “You have to come see this.”

Rusty chains bound an iron gate in the far section of the garden. Beyond it was a section of the garden I’d never seen before, hidden behind a crumbling brick wall, overrun with weeds and vines.

His footsteps arrived behind me, as quickly as if he’d been there all along.

“I’ve never seen this before. How long has it been here?” I jangled the rusty lock, then wiped my hands on my jeans

Adrius gave the lock a yank. It yielded and thudded obediently to the parched ground. The gate creaked open. I glanced at him, nodded, and stepped inside.

It was almost impossible to tell this had been a garden, except for the line of stakes and the almost visible path between each row of plants. Some were still alive, growing wildly out of control. Others had shriveled into kindle. And others still had almost overtaken the tiny, enclosed space.

Adrius moved to my side and surveyed the mess. “Why would your grandmother keep a separate garden?”

I shrugged. Many of the labeled stakes were faded, but I could make out a few names… “Deadly Nightshade, Rosary Pea, Devil’s Porridge, White Baneberry, Monkshood.” Most of what was here I wasn’t familiar with. I only knew of the plants she used for healing, the ones that were commonly made into teas at the Lemon Balm and into various concoctions and tinctures in her office. But this garden was not a healing garden.

“What are these plants?” I examined a branch with dried white berries with red dots that looked like eyes.

Adrius brushed a delicate looking flower with the tip of a stick. “Hemlock and Belladonna… all of these plants are poisonous. And many of them deadly.”

I shot him a look. “Deadly? Why would Gran be growing deadly plants?”

He just stared at me, his silence speaking volumes.

“You don’t think... I mean, she wouldn’t...” I couldn’t even finish the thought, it was too ridiculous. My grandmother was the kindest, most well-meaning person I’d ever known. She was a healer, a trusted apothecary. There was no way she would ever grow plants with the intention of harming anyone. Impossible.

Adrius frowned. “She went to a lot of trouble to keep this section of the garden out of sight.”

“No. No way.” I shook my head.

“Lorelei.” He touched my arm. “It’s not uncommon for witches to use plants for many different purposes. Perhaps her remedies followed the old ways more than you realized.”

I pursed my lips. It still bothered me to admit the dark part of my heritage. Not that my faerie heritage left any more to be desired. Quite frankly, I’d just as soon be Elfkind. At least that way I was free of all of the drama and darkness associated with both of the others.

My bloodline didn’t matter. None of it changed who I was. Not now, not ever. I’d always be...me. But Gran? Using plants to poison people? Or worse…

“It’s late and getting dark. We should go.” Adrius held my hand and led me back toward the gate. “There’s no sense wandering any farther. We might run into something that will only cause problems, and I think you’ve discovered more than you planned already. Last thing I need is for you to be paralyzed by a Stinging Nettle plant.”

I looked up at him alarmed.

He smiled. “Heaven knows if there’s one in here, you’ll be the one to fall into it.”

I elbowed him in the ribs. “You’re funny.”

He was always so concerned for my safety. Almost as much as I was concerned for his. More, he would say. Silly really, considering I had the ability to heal rapidly, and he was immortal. We were as close to superheroes as it came. And yet, when we were apart I felt supremely vulnerable. I followed him back toward the house. I would return to the garden in daylight.

As we were leaving I noticed a small animal curled in a ball, covered with dark fur. A cat. Dead. Surrounded by black berries from the deadly nightshade plant we’d just been talking about. Wow. Gran would not have been happy to see this, to know her plants cost an animal its life. I reached out to touch the dark fur.

Adrius stopped my hand. “It’s better off, now.” He grabbed the shovel leaning against the gate and started digging deep into the earth. The rock-hard ground gave way as effortlessly as the iron lock had.

I raised my eyebrows. “I think the cat would have been better off alive. Without having its last meal be a poisonous plant.”

“Guess that depends.”

“On?”

“How you define alive.” He paused in mid dig. “Trapped, alone, cold, unloved. Life without a loving family.... neglected...abused. I would not call that living.”

I stared into his eyes as they darkened to a deep olive green before he looked away. “I guess you’re right,” I whispered, reaching up to touch the square of his cheek. I’d never seen him get so sentimental over an animal. But he wasn’t talking about the cat. Not really.

His jaw flexed and then relaxed. When he met my gaze his eyes softened and returned to their luminous glow that still swept me off my feet. He gave a half smile and continued to dig a deep grave for the cat. With it he buried at least some of the pain still haunting his life.

****

Moonlight beamed through scattered clouds, lit from behind in an eerie pale glow. It was the end of the weekend, and we were coming to the time we both knew would arrive. Adrius walked me to the door, and then stopped.

“Aren’t you coming in?” I slipped off my muddy shoes.

He shook his head. “Probably not the best idea, considering.”

No, it probably wasn’t. Mom might be recovering from her illness, but she was a formidable opponent in any condition, and another blowout was not what I wanted for our last night together.

“I hate that you have to leave.” I pouted, snuggling into his shoulder.

His arms around me could never be tight enough to squeeze away the pain twisting in my stomach. “I know. I hate it, too. But you know I’ll be back. I’ll always come back.”

“Stay. Just…. Stay.” The second I said it I felt awful. What was I asking? I knew he couldn’t stay, that he needed to return to his world to stay alive in mind.

Since the night of the dance we’d carefully stayed away from discussing our little predicament. We were still at a standoff. He couldn’t live in my world without magical aids to keep him alive, because of the toxic nature of our polluted air, and I couldn’t go back to his world, because of a bunch of angry beings trying to kill me. That left us here. He would have to return to his world and refuel, to come back to mine. How long the potions lasted depended upon how much stress he was under. Physical exertion, extreme emotions all used up the reserve more quickly. Then there was the issue of his still being tied to Venus, the daughter of the ice witch I killed. A curse had caused his forced fealty to her. Killing the witch was not only supposed to save Mythlandria from her destructive wrath, it was also supposed to free Adrius of the curse that bound him to the ice witch’s commands. Who knew there was a daughter who would take over the bonds, and that she was also his ex-girlfriend.

Now she wants me dead in payment for killing her mother, and as a bonus, I’d be out of the way so she could get Adrius back in her life. That he could come here at all means the curse is weakening. I want his freedom, but at which price? Was I willing to kill for it? I’d have to end her life as well if I was going to destroy the bonds. And I wasn’t a killer. Even Octăhvia’s death was more of an accident than intended. I had no idea what awakening the magic would do, or how to wield it. This arrangement seemed like our only option, for now. And while I hated to see him leave, there was something comforting in being able to pretend that my life was normal again. As normal as it ever was. I could enjoy being back home with friends and back at school which surprisingly enough, I’d missed. It’s amazing how coming to the edge of your life multiple times will make even the most mundane routines a welcomed change.

“Think about what you’re asking me,” he said. “You know why I have to leave.”

He watched me suck in a breath of regret, as I wished I could take back my self-serving plea.

Pain creased his eyes. “Sleep soundly, Lorelei,” was all he said. He kissed the top of my head and turned to go.

The tense set of his jaw revealed the effort it took to leave. I watched him walk away, biting down on my lower lip until he reached the driveway.

“How am I supposed to sleep?” My voice was almost too quiet to be heard over the howling wind. But his hearing surpassed most mortal’s.

“Warm milk with honey works well,” he answered my whisper, his back still facing me. “It helps with the night terrors too,” he added.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” I moved closer, descending one step at a time until my bare feet hit the cold of the pavement.

Adrius froze. Electric pulses crackled between us.

“I was talking about sleeping without you. Here.”

“You’ve managed to do it before,” he said cautiously, the strain of his resolve vibrating in his voice.

“I know. But—“

This was wrong. It was selfish. How could I ask him to stay, when I know that leaving is what would keep him alive to return to me?

“I’m sorry. I’m being silly. It’s just I can’t—“

With whipcrack intensity, his resolve burned away, and he rushed toward me and pulled me into his arms. His touch burned though my shirt as his hands splayed against my back, pressing us closer. He kissed me, hungrily at first, then it quickly deepened to ravenous. Matching his fervor, I tangled my fingers in his hair. Every inch of me was on fire. He gasped, his lips slowing against mine. By the time we separated, we were both breathless. He leaned his forehead against mine for a few rapid heartbeats, then pulled back. Our eyes remained locked in a palpitating stretch of silence that spoke volumes. My head swirled, and all I wanted was more of where we’d left off.

But he read my intentions. The corners of his lips quirked, and he shook his head. Warm hands slid down my arms with one last caress, before he disappeared. Gone so quickly I didn’t actually see him leave. Swallowed by the darkness of the night and the forest that held the secret doorway into Mythlandria. Through the invisible veil between his world and mine. Only his scent remained.

I inhaled deeply. It was better this way. I might never have found the strength to let him go otherwise. He always said he was the weak one, for insisting on having me in his life. But he was wrong. I was the one too greedy to let him out of my sight for even a night. I stared into the darkened forest and sighed. He’d be back. I knew that he would. But I couldn’t shake the sensation that our temporary solution wouldn’t last. Things weren’t as simple as they seemed, and as I made my way into the house the quote from my Shakespeare lit class replayed in my head like an unsung melody.

”Something wicked this way comes.”

This night had been exhausting on so many levels. I curled up on the couch in the den, staring blankly at the TV screen I’d yet to turn on.

I didn’t realize I had drifted off to sleep on the couch until my phone buzzed on the table across from me. Staggering upright, I stubbed my toe before grunting an irritated “hello?”

The voice on the other end wasn’t familiar. I looked at the clock, 11:30 p.m., way too late for Abby to be calling. Rubbing my eyes, I tried to focus on what the voice was saying.

“Ms. Alundra? Lorelei Alundra?”

“Yes?”

“We met at the vocal competition you performed in. I understand you’ve been trying to reach me.”

“I’m sorry, who is this?” I mumbled absently, not fully awake and nursing my aching toe.

“My name is Mr. Peterson. And I may have information about your aunt.”