Born Mine

LEINDRA’S POV.

When people go home, it is expected that there should be a feeling of nostalgia, a feeling of childhood wonder at being back where you grew up. For me, it was the direct opposite. My skin crawled as I took in the familiar streets and I wanted nothing more than to run as far as I could but I had nowhere to go.

A few years ago I ran. I packed my bags and I ran to the city. I wanted nothing to do with the life of Lunarius. It was your typical small town where everyone knew everyone and you were expected to be mated to your best friend and have children who grow up and never leave. I wanted more from life and more to life but my plans brought me right back.

I needed gas so I stopped directly in front of a diner I used to visit as a child. They used to have the best burgers in the entire town and they were always available.

A part of me hoped it wasn’t there anymore. That way, I could have felt like the town had changed a little but it stood there in all its faded and broken window glory. The town was exactly as I left it: small, dirty roads, quiet people, unchanged and so tiny that I felt like I was being suffocated.

I left when I was eighteen. I was eager to see the world, but now, at twenty-three, I could say that the world was filled with nothing but disappointment. When I left, I was an optimistic child hoping that I would make some money and live in a lavish mansion. I ended up working as a waitress being paid meager peanuts and I lived in an apartment that resembled a shoe box but was pricier than a designer bag.

My landlady kicked me out and I knew I had nowhere else to go. I hadn’t paid rent in five months and I could barely feed myself. I had lost my job and I knew that as stubborn as I was, I would rather live in Lunarius than starve out in the city. I shoved my pride down and used the last money I had to buy gas and drive myself back.

I looked around the town hoping to see something or someone different but everyone was the same. Suddenly, I noticed a group of men inside the diner. They were sitting by a booth against the wall and if it wasn’t for the broken window then I wouldn’t have been able to see them.

They were clad in all black with bandanas as if it was a uniform and they were whispering to each other in hushed breaths. I could tell that they weren’t from Lunarius because no one here would have dressed that boldly. People were staring at them but they didn’t seem to care. It was like they were oblivious to the stares they were receiving from people.

I wondered who they were but then I felt the hair at the back of my neck stand. I knew I was being watched so I discreetly looked around to find the source of the stare and I saw him. He was standing at the front door of the diner and he was watching me through dark shades.

He was very tall and that said a lot because I wasn’t a short person myself. He had a five o’clock shadow and his dark hair hung in curls around his shoulders. He looked at me like I knew him and there was an air of familiarity around him but I was sure I had never met him because if I met someone like him, there was no way I would have forgotten.

He looked like an Adonis carved straight from marble and the way he stared at me sent shivers down my body and dried out my mouth. My heart felt like someone had taken an electrical current to it. I felt a light sheen of sweat on my brow as if I had run a marathon and I couldn’t explain why I felt that way. I subconsciously checked myself in the mirror to make sure I looked okay.

I was wearing ripped jeans and a corset top. My long blond hair was in a ponytail at the back of my head and my light blue eyes looked tired and worn out.

I felt the pump jerk in my hand and I remembered what I was doing. I quickly placed the pump back in place and closed up my car. I could still feel the man’s eyes on me as I walked around to get into the car. Even though his shades were still on, I could tell he was tracking me and it took everything in me to get into my car and not stare at him.

As I drove off, I couldn’t help but watch through the rearview mirror. As if he knew I was watching him, I saw the corner of his lips quirk up and I quickly looked away briefly. I turned back to the mirror just in time to see him become a speck of dust in my peripheral.

Even though I couldn’t see him anymore, he was still ever present in my mind.

I drove a few more minutes before I got to my destination. The house was just as I remembered, with brick walls and a zinc roof. Daisies still littered the front lawn and the same purple bicycle with the broken handlebar sat in front of the house. I stared up at my childhood home trying to conjure up the strength to get out of the car.

I could see the tail end of my brother’s black car peeking out from the garage so I knew he was home. I hadn’t seen him in five years and I was unsure of how he was going to react to me. Would he be happy or would he be upset that I left in the middle of the night without a goodbye?

I got out of the car and took the worn-out and faded box that held all my belongings. I dragged it up the porch and up the front steps and I stopped in front of the door. I exhaled deeply and pushed the doorbell.

I heard a little commotion inside before the door was finally pulled open. Shock filled my family’s features as they took me in and I smiled softly.

“Hi,” I said. “Can I come in?”

My grandmother and my brother stood in front of the door staring as if they had seen a ghost. I wasn’t surprised considering they hadn’t seen me in five years. I don’t know how long we stood there but it was my grandmother who snapped out of her stupor first and she put on a wide smile.

“Get her bags, Christopher,” she said to my brother and he rushed to grab my box and take it into the house.

She ushered me into the house and I wasn’t surprised to see that it hadn’t changed one bit. The same worn-out couch sat in the living room with the rocking chair that Grandma used to sit on and knit wooly hats for us. The rug still had a stain from where Chris spilled a drink and covered it up and by the time we noticed it, it had dried and stuck.

It even smelled the same. It smelled like cookies and grandma’s perfume and it was just overwhelming. I tried and failed to find something different and I ran my hands through my hair.

“Let me guess, my room is how I left it?” I asked and she nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re family, Leindra,” she said with a small squeeze of my shoulder. “Do you want anything to eat or drink? Or do you want to freshen up first?”

“I think I’ll freshen up first.”

She nodded and I walked past her and down the hall to where my room sat. It was the last room down the hall and as I pushed it open, I shook my head softly. The walls were painted a dark purple color with various posters of The Coven – my favorite band back then. I was obsessed with them when I was eighteen, and I remembered a time I was pissed off at Grandma for refusing to let me go to their concert.

Absolutely nothing had been touched and I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about it. I liked the familiarity but it also grated on my nerves because the girl who used to stay in the room was not the girl I was. That girl was sad and she let everyone walk all over her.

I glanced at my box that was sitting at the foot of the bed and I walked into the bathroom to freshen up. The last time I took a proper shower was three days ago when I left the city. I had been surviving by using moldy motels and antiseptic wipes. I spent longer than I should have under the shower but I couldn’t help myself.

I scrubbed my skin until I felt like a newborn again. Once I was done, I wiped down with a fluffy white towel that I found in the bathroom. It felt good to be clean and I changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a tee shirt. It was after I was clean that I realized how hungry I was.

I carefully walked out of the room and when I got to the living room, I saw my grandmother and brother whispering under hushed tones. They saw me and instantly went silent. I couldn’t blame them for the suspicious looks they were throwing my way because when I left, it wasn’t exactly on good terms and now I was coming back as if nothing had happened.

“There’s lasagna if you’re hungry,” Grandma said as she gestured to a steaming plate on the table. “It’s not that we aren’t happy to see you, Leindra, but what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to stay,” I said with a small smile. “Things didn’t... work out how I wanted.”

“It took you five years to figure that out?” my brother drawled and I could hear the bite in his words.

I understood his anger. He was my best friend and I just left without telling him. The thing was, I couldn’t stay, I didn’t know how to. I felt like I was going to go crazy.

“Chris,” I began, but he stormed out of the house.

“I’ll go after him, you should eat.”

Without another word, Grandma went out after him. I ran my hands through my hair wondering if maybe coming back was not the right choice. I watched the door for a while but when I heard raised voices, I knew they wouldn’t be back for a while.

They didn’t return until after I had finished eating. Chris looked a lot calmer and he even sat down next to me.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he said softly and I offered him a smile. “If you want to stay then you need a job. The bookstore in town has a vacancy and I know Mr. Henning liked you so you should check it out.”

“Thank you,” I said and he nodded before standing to his feet and walking away.

I knew it would take a lot to repair our relationship and I was willing to do it. Grandma was looking at me expectantly and I knew she wanted to talk to me but I wasn’t ready for the conversation so I stood up.

“I should check out the bookstore.”

***

She knew what I was doing but instead of pushing, she nodded and gestured for me to walk past her.

The drive to the bookstore took five minutes and just as Chris had said, there was a sign outside for a vacancy. I pushed it open and the bell rang to signify my entrance.

“I’m coming,” I heard Mr. Hemming say from somewhere in the store. “Give me a minute to finish organizing these books.”

I walked over to the counter and he rushed over with a stack of books so high that I couldn’t see his face. He must have tripped over something because the next thing I knew, the books were falling over and I reached over to grab them before they hit the ground.

“Thank you so much,” he began then he paused as he took me in. “Leindra! I didn’t know you were back.”

“I just got back,” I said with a small smile as I placed the books on the table. “I heard there was an opening here. I was wondering if you would have-”

“Yes,” he cut me off with a sigh. “Yes, I will have you. You can start tomorrow if that’s okay.”

I was shocked that he didn’t ask any other questions but then judging by how much of a mess the bookstore was, I wasn’t exactly surprised. I could see at least four stacks of boxes in the back and when I entered, the closed sign was up.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” I said and then I turned on my heels and walked out.

The hot air hit my face immediately as I stepped out. As I got into the car, I couldn’t help but glance towards the left where I knew the cemetery lay. I had forgotten how close it was to the bookstore but now that I had realized, I was sure I couldn’t stay in Lunarius long.

The last thing I wanted was to be reminded every day of my parent’s death. I couldn’t do it and I knew what I had to do. I needed a way out and I needed it quickly.