Counting Flowers on the Wall

Mina.

Every sound I made bounced off the world like an echo. Only an echo. Never was I reminded of that fact more than at home in the temple that sat in the heart of the city. Where I would literally take steps that could be heard from the other side of the temple. Those noises blended with the steps of the twenty or so monks that would be in our home at any given time. 

Now, I lifted up the long skirt of my dress as I padded barefoot down the hallway, calling out to my sister. 

“Daphne?” I yelled. “Where are you?” 

I should have known, but I found her in the study. It was across from her bedroom, but she might as well have lived in there for how often I found Daphne at the center table. She hunched over, headphones in and scribbling in one of her dozens of leather notebooks. They filled a whole shelf in the study. 

I dropped the skirt of my yellow sundress and snuck up behind Daphne, tiptoeing even though she couldn’t hear me. My fingers wiggled in the air before I snatched the headphones off her head. I could hear the thumping base of whatever she had on. 

“Brat!” Daphne said, whipping around and swatting at me. She held her hand out to collect the headphones but used her other hand to shut her music off. 

“I screamed myself hoarse looking for you,” I said. “But I guess that’s on me, huh?” 

“I don’t know if I ever told you, but I have this plate in my head, and magnets were put in the walls here. It just keeps dragging me back in.” 

I pulled out a plush purple chair and sat at the table with her. “Was it from when I beaned you in the head with the doorknob? I apologized for that.” 

“Apologizing doesn’t make the brain matter grow back, but I appreciate it.” 

I snorted laughing, then sat back in the chair. “I thought you might have been doing blessings today instead of studying, or I would have found you sooner.” 

“Nah, it’s all books today. I can take a break to have lunch with you though.” 

She couldn’t, really. We both knew that. She would have if I asked, but I knew better than to ask such a thing of a high priestess in her final year of training. If I took her away for an hour, that hour would come back around for her in the middle of the night, when she should have been sleeping. 

“I already ate,” I lied. “I just wanted to pop in and see you. You were so busy yesterday.” 

“I felt bad. By the time I came to check on you, you were sleeping.” 

“Don’t be bothered. You’re in high demand. I can’t hold that against you.” It was an honor, in fact. To be handpicked by the gods, entrusted with their magic permanently having made a home in her heart. One of the few in existence, the only one in Oregon, and the most precious in the world. Though that last one could have been considered an opinion. A correct one, but still. 

Daphne smiled, but it didn’t touch her tired blue eyes. “Yes, yes, many people to see. I can’t tell you how bad I had to pee three hours into meeting with the monks. I had to pretend to hear them while I was trying not to look like I was about to burst.” 

“Did you not want them to know you have an addiction to Dr. Pepper, or were you trying to be coy?” 

“I didn’t want to waste their time. Three minutes is three minutes, and we had a lot of business to discuss. They have a new saloon going up in Portland and I’ve been asked to bless it.” 

I arched a saffron colored eyebrow. “You?” I asked. “They’re having priestesses bless recreational centers now?” 

“Hey, things are changing. This isn’t the seventies anymore and there’s no shame in people safely enjoying the joys of magic they couldn’t otherwise reach themselves.” 

I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t so much mind the nice ones, but the ones who go in to feel ghosts of death and sorrow are the ones that scare me.” 

“Pity them,” Daphne said softly. “The sorts of people who seek out that kind of emotion are people who you should hold dearly to your heart. They need it most.” 

“You’re too kind.” 

“Thank you.” 

“It wasn’t a compliment, Daph.” 

She only smiled at me. This time, a real one. “I would never feel any other way about a statement like that. There is no such thing as being too kind, puppy.” 

I wished very much that I agreed with her, but Daphne was born and trained to be this way. Though of all the priestesses I’d met, she was the kindest, the softest, and did it with the most ease.

I sat up, tapping my fingers on the open book at her desk. “Tell me what you’re up to today.” 

Her smirk excited me already. “Studying up on the Owl of Genesis.” 

I snorted. “What? Why would you be doing that? He isn’t real.” 

“Of course he’s real, and thus, he deserves attention and the respect of knowing him.” 

I let out a long sigh. “You act like you have all the time in the world.” 

“Well, okay, also I just need to be an expert in all things magic. He too is one of the few with permanent magic and that means he’s someone important.” 

Someone best learned about in books, I supposed. Calling him an Owl had been generous. According to all accounts I’d ever heard—only in whispers—he was more a beast than anything. Not human, and not anywhere close. 

“Isn’t he a killing machine?” I asked. 

Daph frowned. “You don’t know that. Schoolyard gossip isn’t real.” 

“I haven’t been in a schoolyard in a while, babe. You know I’m a twenty-year-old woman now, right?” 

“No,” she said, eyes softening. “You’re two weeks old, wailing like a puppy wanting attention. And you’re four, with your hair in pigtails and having me take pictures of you on the balcony. And you’re nine, and I’m healing a burn on your finger. You are a lot of things, but a twenty-year-old woman? I refuse.” 

“I should let you get back to work, huh?” 

“Maybe. I have an assignment due by two. Father Harris has been pushing extra lately. I think because I’m only five months out from my birthday. But I’m not nervous or anything. Not throwing up at all. Everything is great.” 

I took her hand. “Come on. You’ve had your nose to the books for fifteen years. You think the gods would reject you now? You’re their favorite.” 

Daph snickered. “Yeah right. But I know they wouldn’t abandon me now. I’ve been a good egg. It’ll be fine, it’s just a lot of work and I feel like I’ve hardly spent any time with you at all. I hate that. Have you even gotten to talk to a soul this week?” 

I didn’t get to do that much talking. When I did, I went so overboard that the monks dismissed themselves as quick as they could get away. I wasn’t as interesting as Daphne. She left the temple way more than I did and knew so much more about the world. And maybe I just talked too much. I was lucky the monks even let me talk to them, when I had absolutely nothing to offer the gods. 

“Of course,” I told her. “Lots of talking and lots of souls. I’ll have lunch sent up to you so you can eat. If you have time, we can hang out later.” 

As I went to walk away, she grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “I’ll make time for you.” 

I believed it, because my sister would never lie. 

I left the study with no idea what I would do with the rest of my day. It didn’t worry me all that much. Walking down the hallway, I twirled my sundress in the shining light that poured in through the opened windows. I wanted to step outside and bury my bare feet in the tall grass, but surely there would be a monk to tell me I couldn’t. Too many people could use me to get to Daphne, and I wouldn’t want to put her in danger. 

I let my eyes land on every portrait I passed, seeing a thousand years of priestesses that had come before my sister. Hers was the last one, at the very end of the hall. Thankfully, most of them were still alive, and just somewhere else. I stopped at the end of the hall, looking at a cold, flat version of my sister. Her red hair didn’t shine as brightly there, and her blue eyes in the portrait didn’t match the ocean blue ones on the real thing. She had been sixteen when they did the portrait, nine years ago. A lot could happen in a decade. 

I kept walking, jumping down the marble stairs and to the hallway that led to the sanctuary. Monks passed me by, nodding their heads and saying nothing. Not daring to engage with a motor mouth. I didn’t let it get me down. If they didn’t want to hear me talk, then they didn’t deserve to listen anyway. 

“Miss Mina?” one of the cooks, Olivia, said. She waved at me from the edge of the room. “Did you want to get something to eat?” 

I followed her into the kitchen, giving one of the servers the task of making sure my sister didn’t work without eating. Daphne never came into the kitchen, or any of the servant’s areas. Not proper for someone of her status. But me, no one cared. Sometimes it shocked me that they even let me live in the temple.  

I sat by myself, like usual, and ate my veggie sandwich. No meat for me, because animals were the most sacred thing. In my heart, at least, and the hearts of at least a couple of the gods. They experienced everything in such a pure way that I couldn’t bring myself to eat an animal. I’d never hated a bunny, but I’d hated a whole lot of people. 

I sat at the very center of the stage, staring up at the windows at the top of the impossibly high ceiling. It looked like a castle from the outside, sitting smack dab in the middle of a city with restaurants, parks, houses, and all kinds of other things built around this ancient place. Only we remained untouched in this everchanging world. 

Singing to myself, I lay back on the rug to look at the sky. The chill allowed me to pretend I was outside, with the win on my skin. I sang louder, matching the music coming from the kitchen. I imagined singing out in the open, somewhere without walls, mountains, nothing of the sort. 

I sat up fast when the doors creaked open, looking around me. Father Harris led a large group of strangers inside, and my heart started to race. I scrambled to get up, gathering my plate and water bottle before I took off from the stage. I didn’t want all those eyes on me. 

“Miss Mina,” the father said, sighing. “I didn’t realize you would be downstairs. Where is Lady Daphne?” 

“Studying,” I answered in the mousiest voice that my body could make. Against my will, of course. 

“Good,” he said. “She has blessings, so I’ll inform her.” 

He left me in a room of strangers. You couldn’t just do that to a person. I didn’t know any of their faces, and that meant endless possibilities. Danger, mostly, flashed in my mind. My body itched to get away from the eyes and the silent questions they carried.

I nodded at the people, walking away. “Thank you so much for blessing our holy temple with your presence,” I said. “It’s much appreciated, and I admire your devotion to our beloved gods. I gotta go.” 

I hurried for the stairs, and I couldn’t tell if any of them paid me a moment of attention. I didn’t want to find out the hard way at the very least. 

“Mina,” Daphne said as I passed her in the hall. Her voice had changed, as she had Father Harris at her side. She sounded stiffer, even standing up straight. 

I bowed to her. “I share all the bounty my heart has to give.” 

“Thank you,” she said, nodding once at me. “Your kindness and sacrifice is seen and admired by the gods. Without people like you, they would have no power. Your givings are priceless.” 

I loved when she talked to me like we hadn’t both thrown up on each other at one point in our lives. “Blessed day,” I said, waiting for her to walk away first. 

She went on her way, and I turned to watch her go. She cast a glance back at me, blowing me a kiss. My sister was always in there, no matter what role she had to play. 

Mina.

Like every other day, I woke up on my own, with no one beating down my door. Still stumbling with sleepiness, I opened all the curtains in my room. The view nothing more than a busy city, but I still liked to peek out and watch people moving about their days. I couldn’t be part of it, but I imagined myself coming and going as I pleased. What would I have done? Where would I have gone? 

Maybe somewhere with trees. 

I showered and changed into a dress. I picked something green from my closet, because while I couldn’t remember much of anything from my parents, I did remember that my father had told me I looked best in green, because it matched my eyes. It was almost always either green for my eyes, or yellow for my yellowish/orangish hair. Part of me thought it was a waste of time. No one looked my way when Daphne was around. I supposed I dressed like this for myself then. 

I couldn’t count how many mornings I had been alive for, but I always went through the same thing. I would get up, shower, and then have no idea what to do with myself. One would have assumed I’d have eventually figured out a good way to pass the time, but it never happened. I would either spend the whole day on the computer, or reading, or playing video games. Most of the time, that worked out for me. But then there would be so many moments where I would stop, having something to say, and having no one to tell. I couldn’t go bother Daphne, and no one else would stand there long enough for me to finish what I had to say. 

I picked up my e-reader, thinking it would be a quiet sort of day. I barely had the thing turned on before I heard a knock at my door. Daphne came inside, wearing the biggest grin on her face. 

“You look like you have good news,” I said. 

She rubbed her hands together. “You have no idea. You have plans today?” 

I laughed. “I never do.” 

“Then you would be free to have a day out with me.” 

The tablet almost fell from my hands. “Really?” I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but my heart swelled from the excitement. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d even left the temple, let alone gotten to do something with my sister that didn’t involve work. 

“Really,” she said. “I get the whole afternoon to myself, so I thought I would take you somewhere. Things have been quiet lately, so Father Harris thinks it’s safe.” 

I almost couldn’t believe it, but I wouldn’t waste this rare chance.

Bodyguards escorted us to one of the cars on the premises. We had a driver, one guard in the car with us, and another car behind us filled with guards. They were all visibly armed, ready for anything. With so few people who carried magic, that left Daphne pretty capable of keeping us safe on her own, but since she wasn’t meant to use magic in any way that could have been considered selfish, we had to use guards. Anything that didn’t help the gods counted as selfish.

Though the windows had been tinted, I still tried to look out of them as we drove. Everything passed us by in a blur. I enjoyed it anyway, because at least I was outside. I got to look at real people. 

Impossibly, we stopped at a drive thru to eat breakfast. I might have had fast food about ten times in my whole life, and it tasted glorious every single time. Breakfast sandwiches were truly a gift from the gods and I couldn’t be convinced differently. I purred like a kitten getting milk as I ate, and Daphne laughed at me every time I made a sound. 

“You don’t understand,” I said. “I never get anything this greasy.” 

“RIP to your intestines,” she said. “Don’t throw up in the car.” 

“I would never allow myself to throw up something this yummy.” 

I kept gnawing on my food, watching people pass us by from the window. I hadn’t bothered asking about our destination. It didn’t really matter all that much. I could have had fun anywhere. That went double if my sister was involved. 

We parked and I peered out the window at a zoo.

“I thought you would want to see the birds,” Daphne told me. 

I tackled her, almost knocking her over. Daphne had a slender frame, where I was more built like someone made to bare knuckle box. Okay, not that far, but far from my sister’s dainty frame. All I did was eat and hang out in a building all day, so my baby fat never left me, and a good extra few dozen or so pounds joined the party.

Daphne took my hand as the guards swarmed us for the walk up to the gate. One of them bought tickets for all of us, and we stepped inside together.  

We could have gone the whole day without many people noticing Daphne if not for the guards. Only one person needed this kind of protection, and we all knew it. Sunglasses and a hat couldn’t hide someone as special as her. 

Daphne almost let herself act normal. When she saw people watching, she would stand straighter and soften the expression on her face, but other than that, she was just my sister.  

“I don’t care where we start, but if I don’t see monkeys, then I’ll cry,” Daphne told me. “I don’t care what kind of monkey either. I just want monkey.” 

I pointed to the left, where I saw a sign. “How do you feel about gorillas?” 

“Gorilla is monkey, so that’ll do.” 

“Gorilla isn’t technically a monkey.” 

“First off, it’s monkey flavored. Second, why the hell would you ask if we should see the gorillas if you don’t even believe in your heart that they’re monkeys?” 

“Don’t ask why I do what I do.” 

We did look in on the gorillas, but they mostly slept. One of them hung out in a small pool, living his best non-monkey life. Daphne couldn’t get the grin off her face, taking pictures with a camera I didn’t even know she owned. I posed for her, making faces and taking the camera so I could take pictured of her too. She held her hands up and made the shape of a heart, staring lovingly at the monkeys. 

“My angels,” she said as we walked away, blowing kisses at them. 

“Excuse me?” a woman said as we exited the viewing area. Her wide eyes watched Daphne. 

One of the guards stepped forward, holding a hand out to keep her from coming closer. Daphne intercepted, waving her hand in a silent command to the guard to stand down. 

“Can I help you?” Daphne asked, standing straight, using her priestess voice. 

The woman looked shocked that my sister even acknowledged her. She stared at the ground. “I’m so sorry to bother you, Lady Daphne. I would never… I wouldn’t come to your temple. I know my problems are so small, but surely it was the gods that put you in my path today, and I can’t deny that.” 

I believed her. I saw it in her eyes how desperately she wanted to have this conversation, and I knew that the gods gave us what we needed. I had watched it over and over again within my own life. 

“I would be more than happy to help you,” Daphne said. “What is it that you need?” 

The relief in the woman’s face made my heart crack in two. “I’m in pain,” she said. “Every single day. Walking hurts, and I’ve been told that soon, I’ll have to get a wheelchair. I do work for my community. I have so many things to do, and it’s only getting harder.” 

“You don’t need to keep explaining,” Daphne said. “You deserve not to be in pain. Give me your hand.” 

The woman offered her a trembling hand, and I could feel the magic rising from within Daphne’s heart. The power of the gods entered into the woman’s body, no doubt healing whatever about her had been aching. 

The woman cried, and my sister hugged her, which only made her cry more. I looked away, trying to give the woman her privacy. I did the same thing with the next four people that came to my sister, because she would never turn anyone away for anything. We lingered there for an hour before we got the chance to move along, and I could only imagine word spread about Daphne being there. 

We looked at every enclosure we came across, but with every one came several people who wanted blessings. To be touched by the gods in any capacity was an honor, and I wouldn’t have begrudged them that. I was lucky enough to get to be around Daphne all the time and live in the holiest place possible. Very few could say the same. 

“I’m sorry,” Daphne said to me when we got a moment alone. Or, as alone as we could get. “I didn’t know it would be this busy.” 

I shrugged. “It’s okay. As long as we’re together.” 

She kissed the top of my head, then took my hand. “Let’s go look at the parrots.” 

I could barely contain myself on the way over. We walked ahead of most of the guards, because I dragged Daphne along with me. She took a million pictures of the birds and I, but I didn’t feel like posing. The feathered beauties before us distracted me too much.  

“I love you,” I said to the parrot closest to me. He sat on his perch, and he didn’t even know I existed. I whistled at him, and he didn’t care. I couldn’t have expected a beast of his glory to care about me. 

“I would take care of you like a son if I could, Mr. Bird,” I said to him. “You are beautiful.” 

Daphne leaned over to me, nudging my shoulder. “I can get you a bird, puppy.” 

I let out a sigh. “I would love one, but I couldn’t bear to keep a bird trapped inside all day. They should get to fly.” 

She didn’t fight me, so it felt like she agreed. It would have been hard to watch a creature like that living on a perch, trapped within the walls of the temple. I would only want to set it free. 

“How about a dog?” Daphne asked. “Or a cat?” 

“The monks would hate that,” I said. “A dog running around? They don’t even like it when I’m running around.” 

“I like it,” she said. 

She looked tired. I could see how each blink in her eyes made it harder and harder for her to open them. All that magic she’d given away had worn her out already. We’d hardly been there for two hours. 

“Do you need rest?” I asked. 

“No, no,” Daphne said. “This is our day together. I’m fine.” 

“I want you to feel okay.” 

She squeezed my hand. “I feel wonderful. What do you want to see next?” 

I prioritized what I wanted to see, planning on trying to get her out early. She would be awake at dawn the next day, and she didn’t need to wear herself out even more. 

“The aquatics,” I said. 

She took me to look at the swimmers and I soaked up every second of it. Of course, people slowed us down again. This time, I looked at the fish and the penguins on my own while she spent even more of her energy on helping the people who came to her. I would look at her from time to time, watching people melt at her softness. It came so naturally for her, that kindness. I could never hope to reach it, and that had been something I’d come to terms with. I wasn’t kind, but I could perhaps be as cruel as she needed me to be. 

“We should get her home,” I told one of the guards, though Daphne had another six people in line. I wanted the gods to receive the glory of healing, but if these people wanted it, they could come to the temple. 

The guard checked his watch. “You’re right.” 

“Thank you. Ya know, I sure wish people would say that to me more. A bit of an ego boost. We all need it. Is it maybe the fact that my voice is weirdly low that people don’t like listening to—” 

“Lady Daphne,” the guard said, leaving me to go to my sister.

Daphne turned to the guard. “Yes?” 

“We best be getting back to the temple. You’re due for your lessons in less than an hour.” 

She looked right at me. “But…” She looked back to the people waiting for her. “There are things left to be done.” 

“None that matter more than your lessons. Father Harris would agree.” 

The guards started escorting us out of the zoo, leaving behind the people that wanted to exhaust my sister so she could do them favors. It was so much of her job, sure, but didn’t she deserve a rest? 

“Hold on,” Daphne said at the gates. “I’m not done yet.” 

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into a giftshop I hadn’t noticed before. We slipped inside before the guards could catch up. Once they did, the man behind the counter zeroed in on my sister. 

“We should get some goodies,” Daphne said. 

“Aw, I don’t need anything. But…” 

I hurried over to the corner, where they had all the plushes. I picked out the biggest monkey they had, having to haul it over my shoulder so I could walk. 

“I have to get this for you,” I said. 

She tapped on her chin. “Okay, let me pick something out for you then.” 

She ducked around the corner while I went to pay for our new family member. The man behind the counter barely looked at me as I got rung up, watching my sister. One of the guards eyed him, and I saw his hand inching toward the gun on his belt. 

“Don’t look,” Daphne said as she went to pay. “It’s a surprise.” 

Since it was a surprise, I went with one of the guards back to the car. He waited outside while I got in, watching the doors for my sister. When she returned, the guard got inside, and we didn’t hesitate to leave. 

“I feel so bad for not helping those people,” she said. “Did you see their eyes? They needed me.” 

“And you needed to not drain yourself dry,” I told her. 

“It’s not a big deal. I can sleep and be fine.” 

“It’s like you would let it kill you if you thought that would help people.” 

“Is it not my honor to live and die for my duty?” 

“But you can do so much more alive than dead.” 

She didn’t respond, digging into her pocket to get out the bag from the gift shop. “Tell me if you like this.” 

I opened it and fished out the present. The little charm had a parrot on it, the gold shining in the dimming light. 

“My son,” I said. “I love it.” 

She took it out of the package and removed the necklace I had on. It had only the six pointed star of the gods on it. Daphne added the parrot to it and put it back on my neck. 

“I have to name him,” I said. 

“His name is Moss,” Daphne said. 

My forehead creased as I laughed. “Where did you get that from?” 

“A book,” she said. “Dunno. Something in my heart tells me it’s right. I can’t really explain it. Just a feeling.” 

“Sounds like how you were talking when you last had a vision. Should I be worried?” 

“No,” she said, but the words didn’t seem to land. “Not at all.”