Cursed Luna

“The moon is almost at its peak. Pour more water!”

“Yes, Mother priestess.”

The silver-haired girl, chained naked on the wooden table, screams in agonizing pain.

The adept Priestess dips a metal ladle into the scorching hot water and then pours the water on the screaming girl.

“Every inch of her body must be cleansed. She must not be allowed to shift! Again!”

“And this will cleanse her? Prevent her from shifting and the corruption from pouring into the pack?”

The Mother Priestess gives the Luna a convincing nod. “Yes, Luna. She has turned eighteen. It is when all wolves gain their soul wolf, and she must not be allowed to shift, ever. We must endure this till morning.”

“These screams might distress some of the pack members.”

“Tell them the truth. The Accursed is the evil one here, and these purifying rituals are necessary.”

“She doesn’t look evil.” The Alpha mutters.

The Mother Priestess scoffs, “Evil is inside of her, whether she looks it or not.”

They watch the clear parts of the girl’s skin sprout boils as her skin melts. A testament to the pain she endures.

“We must not allow her to shift! Again!”

As the girl’s flesh is exposed to high heat, the smell of cooked meat, mixed with a strange, sweet undertone, invades the space of the small dungeon.

One of the priestesses watching scrunches her face in disgust and covers her nose.

“We must endure this every full moon when the evil will be tempted to sprout. Now, keep praying to the goddess.”

The girl heard nothing that was spoken, for all her attention was on the pain that was being brought to her. She is not estranged to pain, but not even the constant beatings with the metal bats compare to this. For the first time, the young girl starts to believe that death is better than this madness. A madness they want her to endure every full moon now that she has come of age and her spirit wolf has surfaced, just as it happens for every werewolf, but not the torture. The torture is reserved only for her.

“Do not allow her to shift! Her cursed soul must not be allowed to come forth!”

~Senua~

“Senua…”

“No…NO!” I leap out of my bed, gasping for air and wiping my sweaty forehead. The desperation and abysmal hopelessness start to subside as I realize that I am back in my darkness. I close my eyes, holding my head, trying not to relive those horrible nights. My neck hurts, but it always hurts. The metal neck brace around it makes my skin irritated, especially at night. The chain attached to it is hooked to a metal slab on the floor in the middle of the room. I have had these since I was five, and I can’t remember a day that it has been off.

I stare at the ceiling, wondering why I keep waking every morning. If I could just make myself never wake up again, I would. And that voice. Always in my head calling my name.

Light shines through the cracked wall. A hole big enough to fit a grown man made by the shaking of the earth, which I was told was called an earthquake. It is closed off with silver bars but overlooks a small meadow of wildflowers, which I call my garden. Thankfully, they didn’t block it back with bricks. This dungeon is old, and it is my room. Humid and stuffy. The only place I have known since I was born.

With a sigh, I get up and walk to the crack in the wall, landing my eyes on the beautiful flowers. Blue Lobelias… a flower native to almost all warmer regions of the world. These are the only flowers that grow in my tiny garden. A garden that my sole option is only to look at. The bars invade my sight. I wish I could get closer to see the flowers better, but I dare not touch the bars or they will burn my skin. It is what silver does to a werewolf. This garden is the only semblance I have that there is a world outside these four walls. It has been my only world since I was born. The only comfort I have is my beautiful flowers. It makes me sad that I can’t touch them. They are out of arm’s reach. The morning dew decorates the blooming Lobelias, catching the little light that is left from the cloudy skies. Beyond them, a wall of trees obscures my view. A forest that I can only assume goes for miles. It rains, but it always rains here in the middle of Appalachia. Especially during Spring.

My days only consist of reading smuggled books or singing. That is, when I am not being cleansed, which tends to be painful. My life is meaningless.

My little friend suddenly chirps. A little golden brown bird called a Veery. It comes down in the mornings and before nightfall to sing to me. Mostly because I drew it in with some seeds, but it has gotten used to me. The rest of the day passes as it always does. I dream of far-off places.

To my surprise, the heavy door behind me opens. I look back and see Sirsha walk in. A woman who shares my bloodline, but I cannot call her sister, for I will be punished for it.

“Senua.” She calls for me.

I turn back to the view in front of me. “Yes?” I reply. My voice is low and monotonous. There is no life to it.

“Senua…today…the Grand Ceremony commences.” She looks down, unable to meet my stare.

I don’t know how to feel. Horrible pain will be inflicted on me in the next few days. Pain, I am not unaccustomed to. But…it will calm the voice in my head. The demon that calls to me. It is a ceremony that will end it all. At least that is what I have been told.

“I see.” That is all I say.

I never thought this day would come, but I welcome it.

I give her a smile. “It’s okay.”

“I am here to start preparing you.” She whispers.

“Prepare me?”

She nods. “There will be a diner that you will attend to.”

“I will?!” I have never been to the pack house, even though my dungeon is attached to it.

“Yes.”

I turn to the garden as she settles behind me. She gently grabs my long hair and starts brushing it. I feel peace, even though these next few days will be the most hell I will experience. I must be cleansed of my impurities, yet all I can think of is what comes at the end. Will I be free? Finally? Sweet nothingness. Peace at last.

“I…am so sorry,” Sirsha whispers.

I bite my lip, feeling a touch of emotion well up inside me. If things were different, of course, I would not want to die. But that is the only peace I will have, and I am okay with it. That is what waits for me at the end of the Grand Ceremony. Death.

Sirsha snuffles. “Today, you will be prettied up. You are going to wear such a pretty dress, and it is your favorite color, blue. Just like your flowers.”

“I will wear a dress?”

”Yes. The five-day ceremony starts tomorrow, but today you will dine with the Alpha and Luna.” She gasps. “And the mask you will be wearing. It is gorgeous.” For just a second, a ghost of a smile appears on my lips.

Five days of torture…a few days later, it would have been my birthday. But I won’t be here for it.

Silence now stretches.

“Such beautiful hair, like white silk,” Sirsha whispers. She always has kind words for me. But I do not see it as she does. My white hair is an omen of my curse.

Out of my three caretakers, she is the only one who ever speaks kindly to me or directly at me. “I am going to curl it so you look extra pretty.”

“Stop speaking to her, Sirsha!” Delia reprimands her as she walks in. An older, unkind woman with strict features. She is one of the Moon Priestesses and is in charge of Sirsha and the other caretaker, Ida, who is now lurking in the corner.

Delia briskly hangs a dress on the wall. “You have a big night tonight. You must behave. You’ll be in the presence of the Mother Priestess, the Alpha, Luna, and their son. Enjoy it because it will be the best thing you will have in this world. Think of it as your last meal.” She snickers.

I know what my duty is. I have been told since I could understand words. It has been beaten into my brain. I am the Accursed, and my one purpose is to die before my twenty-first birthday, as it has been foretold by the Mother Priestess. I have known this since I could speak. The notion has been embedded in me, and I have accepted my fate. The fact is that I am not even afraid. I welcome it. I have been numb to my feelings for a long time.

I look at the pretty dress. I have never worn something like that. Sirsha was right, it is in my favorite color.

“Do you understand!?” Delia whacks her whacking stick on the old coffee table.

It makes me jump, but I immediately nod.

“Words! Use your words when you address me!” She points the stick at my face and grazes my cheek.

”Yes…Ma’am,” I stutter, keeping what little emotions I have in check.

After what seems like an eternity, Sirsha taps my shoulder letting me know that she is done, and gets up, but I feel something under my white old robe—the only piece of clothing I own— two of them to be exact. Under me, there is something she placed, but since Delia is still here, I must keep it concealed. I moved it under the table. I have a stash of books under my mattress that Sirsha has given me, and I am sure this is another. She is the one who taught me to read and a bit of what the world has to offer. Yet, I know I will never see it.

“Let me see your back.” Delia pulls my robe and exposes my skin. I never fight or force myself away. I know the consequences of making her mad.

“This is where the scriptures will appear. One on each purifying ritual. They will help stop your awakening.”

My awakening…the day that the evil will consume me. On my twenty-first birthday.

“What will they mean?” Sirsha asks. “The scripture.”

“The senile thoughts of an old foolish woman.” Sometimes I speak, and I don’t even know that I am the one speaking. It is as if someone else takes control of me. My voice does not even sound like my own.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” Delia shouts, enraged.

My eyes widened, realizing that I was the one who spoke.

Delia grabs me by the chain attached to my neck and pulls me. I slam to the ground as Sirsha moves away, unable to do anything.

She looks away as I feel a weight on my back. Delia presses her foot on my back, pinning me to the ground, and holds the chain tightly, choking me.

“You demon! How dare you speak of the Mother Priestess in such a way!”

Searing pain goes across my bare back. A sharp sting that gets worse, like your skin is being peeled away inch by inch as her hand comes down over and over. As if she were slicing something that you would never consider to be alive. I scream, or at least I try, but only gargling sounds come out. The pain is horrible, but it is incomparable to the need I feel to breathe. I feel the heat sizzling. My back is on fire. My vision blurs and my mind screams. I want to scream with my voice, but my voice is gone, choked out by the tight collar.

“Priestess, she must be able to get to the dinner.” Sirsha rapidly says.

I feel it all stop. I am finally able to breathe when she loosens her grip on the chain. On the floor next to me lies the flail she used on my back. A multi-tailed whip with sharp razors at the end of the tips. They are stained with fresh blood.

“Yes, you are right,” Delia says. “Get her cleaned up and ready.” She steps back, I am finally able to move. “Ida, come here!” She shouts.

Ida, the third caretaker, walks in.

“Help take care of this mess,” Delia says before leaving the room.

My body shakes uncontrollably, and all I can do now is cry.

~Senua~

Between Sirsha and Ida, they help me up and take me to the wall where they stand me and strip me naked. Sirsha carefully lifts my hair, and then Ida pours water over my back, washing away all the blood.

The cold makes my body shake, but it is soothing and stings at the same time. I wish Delia had just finished the job and taken me out of my misery.

“Senua…” The voice I always hear calls out to me. Like always, I ignore it. I started to hear it when I turned eighteen. When my corrupted wolf’s soul came to me. I sometimes wonder why the moon goddess allowed me to be born. What was my purpose but to suffer?

After I am cleaned and patched up, they help me put on my dress. As they button it up from behind, I look down, admiring the beautiful embroidery and the texture of the blue fabric. It feels so soft. But the dress feels heavy on me. I am not used to wearing this much fabric.

“Silk,” Sirsha whispers, touching the fabric of the dress.

After Sirsha fixes my hair once more, Ida takes the silver mask Sirsha told me of. She holds it up to me. The mask resembles a wolf. It has the outlines of a wolf’s ears in delicate silver embroidery.

“Is it real Silver?” I ask.

“It is but the inside is Iron, so it won’t hurt you unless you try to take it off or touch the outer parts.”

When Ida turns to get something from a bag, Sirsha takes a small tube from her pocket and then smears it on my lips. “There. Now the look is perfect.” She takes her small mirror out and quickly shows it to me. I have never seen myself like this before.

I touch the mirror and then my red lips. “I look…”

“Different?”

”Real.” I whisper.

Ida gasps. “Damn it Sirsha. What did you do? You are going to get us in trouble.”

Sirsha rolls her eyes. “When does that not happen?”

The last thing I am made to wear is shoes. They are uncomfortable. I am not used to wearing shoes because I am always barefoot. I hate them.

“There…all done.” They take a few steps back, looking at me.

“Wow. You look so beautiful, Senua.”

Delia walks in just in time. She looks at my dress, but when her eyes land on my face, she scowls. “That is not appropriate! But there is no time to fix it. Don’t do it again, Sirsha! I know it was you.”

Sirsha turns away, rolling her eyes.

Delia rummages inside her pocket and takes out a small key. She carefully moves the hair away from my neck and then unlocks the metal collar, letting the heavy chains fall to the ground.

It is such a relief not to have that extra heaviness on me. I feel light, and I swear I almost lost my balance just because of this.

“We must go now. We don’t wish to be late.” She opens the door and heads out first, but she waits at the door for me to follow. I walk behind her as she leads me out with Sirsha and Ida behind me. I see a guard next to my door. It is rare when I get to see anyone other than the caretakers.

The dumbfounded guard quickly turns away from me, looking afraid. As we continue through the dimly lit hall of the dungeon, we come upon a flight of stairs. Arriving at the top, I am taken aback by my view. White paneled walls with gold trims. Beautiful, glistening floors. The most distinguishing thing for me is the smell. It smells so fresh, so clean.

“Keep up!” Delia scolds me.

I scurry behind her, almost falling. I am not used to the shoes or the floors. As we approach two huge white doors with golden trims, following the decorative pattern of the whole house, I notice what I can only assume are servants. They pass us by, but they gasp and almost run, trying to get away when they see me. Ignoring them, Delia stands in front of the doors and takes a deep breath.

“Senua…ready for what awaits you?” She asks.

I am confused by the question, but nonetheless, I nod.

“Ida, stay out here. You too, Sirsha. Your parents don’t want you to be a part of this.”

They both nod. “Yes, Priestess.”

Delia turns to the doors and opens them so abruptly that everyone inside turns to look at us. Quietness is the only thing that stirs when, just a second ago, you could hear people talking.

Sitting on the table are all strangers to me, but for two people. The Mother Priestess and a woman whom I once called my mother. She is the first one to look away, but all other eyes are on me. Delia steps out of the way for them to get a better look.

“Welcome, Delia. This is her?” A woman at the head of the table speaks.

“Yes, Luna. This is Senua, the Accursed.”

“You did well in masking her taintedness.” The Mother Priestess speaks. She puts on a big smile and nods approvingly.

I feel Delia’s hand behind my back, pushing me towards a man. Tall, broad, and pleasant-looking. I have not seen many men, to be honest, other than some male priests, but they are usually covered up with robes. This man wears blue attire that sticks to his big body. He has ashy brown hair and deep brown eyes.

“This is her?” He asks.

“Yes, Alpha.”

He stares me down, his eyes going down my body and then to my eyes.

Delia gets close as the man inspects me. “This is Alpha Farkas.”

He leans in. “Can she take the mask off?”

Delia hesitates. “Uhm…”

“No. There is no need for you to see her face.” The Mother Priestess speaks.

He sighs, moving a chair to the side. Then he stares at me as if he is waiting for something.

“Sit,” Delia whispers, giving me a push.

I sit, and then he pushes the seat in. He sits next to me, but I am too nervous to look at him. Delia begins introducing everyone to me, motioning with her hand to each person. “Our Mother Priestess, you already know. This is our Alpha Nikolas and Luna Amalia. Your parents, Maeve and Beta Theron. And this is Ruby, the Luna, and Alpha’s daughter. Next to you is Alpha Farkas, eldest son to Alpha Nicolas, and next in line to be Alpha of our pack.” For some reason, she emphasizes him more than everyone else in here. He turns to me and gives me a smile. I don’t know what to do. How am I supposed to act?

I turn, still feeling his eyes on me, but I stare straight at Maeve. Only because she is the only one not looking at me. I hide my hands under the table, shaking. I hate it here already.

“You never said she was so… beautiful,” Farkas mutters.

“I thought she’d looked like a hag,” Ruby says in a mocking tone and laughs.

“Yes, she cleaned up nicely.” The Luna says.

“Maybe we should do all this now. Why wait?” Farkas says. His eyes have not yet left me.

“Because we must.” The Mother Priestess says. “We will not be ruled by impulse.”

What are they speaking of? I am beyond confused.

“You did good, Delia. You may leave.” As Delia leaves, the Mother Priestess lifts her glass. “Today is a celebration of the five-night start of our cleansing ritual. Starting with tonight’s union, of course.”

Union?

She motions to me. “You have been invited to dine with us tonight as a show of benevolence to our Goddess, that she may see how we accept even those who are corrupt to share in our benevolence and find us worthy…”

Worthy? Of what?

Union?

They all sit, and that is when food is brought to us. The Luna starts speaking.

“Two unions to be exact.” The Luna cheers. “Not just for the ritual, but our Ruby will be mating with Alpha Lucius of the Blood pack.”

The mother Priestess nods with a big smile. “A great feat indeed. Having the Blood pack on our side instead of against us will strengthen our holy grip on all other packs.”

Alpha Nikolas sighs. “I am not so sure this union is fitting.”

“Dad, I want this,” Ruby says. “I’d be Luna of a powerful pack. Alpha Lucius is strong and feared. His pack is one of the oldest ones, practically royalty.”

“He is also said to be unkind.” Theron—the beta—speaks.

“He won’t be to me. Werewolves are different with their mates.”

I did hear this from Sirsha.

“Don’t you want to find your fated mate?” Nikolas asks.

“Can you assure me that my fated mate is not going to be anyone better than Alpha Lucius?”

Alpha Nikolas doesn’t answer.

“Guess that’s a no. So no. I am set on him. Plus, I hear that he is good-looking, and it is said that his bloodline possesses power.”

“Rumors only,” Theron says.

“Rumors that have been confirmed by another old pack line in the regions of the North. The Dark Fang pack, the Chevalier line.” Mother Priestess adds.

Alpha Nikolas shakes his head. “Even if the rumors were true, the power is rare even among the bloodline. And if Alpha Lucius had it, we all would have known by now.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter to me. Besides, he asked for me specifically.” Ruby almost sings.

“Yeah, and that is what worries me. What are his real intentions?”

“I hate that fucking pack.” Farkas reacts to the conversation.

“Yeah, I do not agree with this union either. There is bad blood between us. “Alpha Nikolas agrees. “But we have to be ready. From this Dark Fang Pack, a female Alpha has risen with this unknown power. We must be prepared in case they decide to come to our region. They are known to be ruthless beyond belief.”

The mother priestess spits. “Bah! A female Alpha of a pack! What blasphemy. This is why these two unions will be a blessing. Our packs would be able to rival theirs.”

“Tomorrow, we must tread carefully when Alpha Lucius and all other Alphas arrive.” Alpha Nikolas speaks. “Having a Mating Ceremony on top of our Grand Ceremony— which we must keep hidden from all of them—will be challenging.”

“Indeed, it will.”

The conversation is too complex for me to follow. I have no idea of anything they speak of. So as they were speaking, I finished my meal. I had never had anything taste so good. Even the drink was something I had never had.

When they are all done, Farkas speaks. “May we begin? I do not wish to wait any longer.”

The Mother Priestess looks at me. “Did you eat all of your food?”

I slowly nod.

She smiles. “Good.” She rises from her seat. “Yes. It may be done.”

Maeve abruptly gets up from her chair and leaves the room. “Darling…” Her mate Theron follows after her.

Farkas gets up and takes my hand, pulling me up with him. Then he suddenly twirls me around. I stumble, but he holds me tightly against his chest. His head on my neck and mine on his. I can feel something is not right. I want to pull back, but I am afraid I will get punished.

Why is this man so close to me? Holding me like this?

“You are so beautiful,” Farkas whispers.

Suddenly, he starts kissing my neck. My body stills, rigid and scared, unable to move. His lips move up to my cheeks until he presses his forehead against mine, looking into my eyes.

“Mark me…” He whispers.

I want to ask “What?” but the words won’t come out. Instead, I suddenly feel like I am in a trance. He moves his face to my neck, giving me way to his.

“Bite me.” He says again.

I feel this urgency to do as he tells me, though I want to refuse. But the moment I think of refusing, my head hurts.

“Don’t fight it, child. It is Alpha command and will only hurt you if you fight it.” The mother priestess says.

I open my mouth and latch it onto him, my teeth draw blood, and suddenly, my fangs come out as he pushes my head forcefully towards his neck. I try to pull back when I feel pain in my own neck.

A sharp sting that turns into something far worse, fire. My body feels like it’s burning. Unimaginable pain goes through my neck as he sinks his fangs into my neck. I scream, and my legs give, but he holds me in place.

I suddenly wake up from the hazy dream state that I was just in, aware now of all that has just happened.

What is this?! What is he doing?! This can’t be it. This can’t be what I think it is. Why?!

When his lips detach from my skin, all I see are black spots. My vision slowly comes and goes. He lets me go with no care as if I were a bag of trash, and I hit the floor hard. I see him smile as he wipes my blood from his lips and then says, “Mine.”

“Senua…” The voice in my head speaks.

“Now that she is mine, do I get to fuck her too?” Farkas asks with a smirk.

He made me mark him and…he…marked me. Why? How?

“Farkas!” The Luna shouts.

“Sorry, mother, just thinking out loud.”

“No, you are not touching her in any other way.” The Mother Priestess says.

“But don’t we need the bond to grow?” He asks. “So that she doesn’t run.”

“It will.”

“Too slow.”

“It will be enough.”

“Hm…you better keep your end of the bargain then,” Farkas says.

“Oh, we will.”

Why? That’s all I can think. Why take this from me, too? I am so angry that I don’t really listen to anything they are saying.

”Senua…” The voice comes again, drowning all other voices. “Senua, Senua, SENUA!”

My vision darkens, and then there are shouts and screams. The next thing I know, I am running through a forest, but it is as if I were watching from someone else’s eyes, not able to move my body myself. The urgency and the fear grab onto me as I hear running behind me. I am about to get caught, but then a bright light seems to stop it all.