Damasked

Scraps of leather covered the worktable like a miniature war had gone down between the fabric and all the tools, small droplets of blood adding to the realism. Shaking my head, I crossed the room, snatching up the med kit I’d left on a shelf the other day for this very purpose. Why it surprised me that the new project had quickly become an obsession, I had no idea, but I hadn’t expected casualties.

Head bent over a spread of diagrams, Xavier Ashburne’s expression held a hint of betrayal, as though all those lines and numbers were intentionally trying to make a fool of him. One elbow on the edge of the table, he held his bloody finger away from his work like it was nothing but an inconvenience to be dealt with later.

Over the past few months, Xavier had mellowed out in so many ways, which pleased me. His sleek, black hair, held back from his face with a loose leather cord, softened his features, and he was wearing dark blue jeans and a snug, faded blue T-shirt—clothing he hadn’t even owned for years. And damn it, it suited him.

This ‘remembering I’m human’ thing is sexy as hell.

But the driven perfectionist hadn’t gone far. This new passion project was threatening to put him in the same volatile mood that still had his employees scrambling for cover at the office.

Thankfully, I’d never let that mood chase me away.

And I’m not about to start now.

Pulling one of the padded leather chairs shoved against the wall close, I sat and set the med kit on Xavier’s desk. Wrapped my hand around his wrist, tightening my grip when he made an irritated sound and tried to pull away. “I’m taking care of this, my man.” To keep things a bit light, I shot him a slanted smile when he glowered at me. “Don’t make me call Alec in here to hold you down.”

That got a laugh, though it was a bit strained. Xavier relaxed, turning his chair to face me as I tended to the cut on his finger. “Luther, unless our boy deserves a punishment, you should keep him far far away from me.” He cast a miserable look at whatever it was he was trying to put together. “I know what you’re thinking, but I can’t stop until I get this vision out of my head. My staff has attempted a few prototypes, but… Damn it, they’re all dull as fuck. This new line needs…”

“Perfection.” I lifted my gaze from where I’d finished cleaning off the blood. “I can’t fault you for that, you’re putting your name on it. But you’ve only started learning how to work with leather. Did you really think you’d pull off runway-ready shoes overnight?”

The question only had Xavier looking more dejected. He rubbed his uninjured hand over his face. “It’s a purse. Damn it, I need to go back to the drawing board. There’s no way I can make it to brunch in the morning. You’d make a better date for Alec anyway.”

All right, this was not like Xavier at all. The relentless drive? Yes, that was familiar after all these years. But the hopelessness wasn’t something I could tease out of him.

I pressed some gauze against the length of his elegant finger, routine manicures the only thing keeping the calluses at bay with how much he used his hands. Let the silence stretch between us until he shifted and stared at me, as though to force the words out of me by will alone.

A strand of black hair slipped from its leather tie, trailing down his cheek. I reached up to tuck it behind his ear. “What’s really bothering you, Xavier? The company is doing well. Your designs are more popular than ever. The new junior line is a success and—”

“And it could be more!” Xavier clamped his lips shut, shaking his head when he tried to pull away again and I kept a firm hold on him. For the most part, Xavier was a Dom, but in times like this he needed to give that control to me before it swallowed him whole.

Of course, he always had to resist a bit, just on principle. A game I was used to and enjoyed more now that the lines were clear.

My steady gaze was met with challenge for a few beats before Xavier lowered his eyes, huffing out a laugh. “Are you going to beat my ass for raising my voice at you?”

He was changing the subject, but I’d allow it. For the moment. “Do you need me to? I’ll have to finish with your finger, so you don’t get blood all over your desk when I bend you over it…” A slow smile curved my lips at the flash of heat in his eyes. Yes, this was much better. I touched my engagement ring on his left hand, loving how the gold looked against his lightly tanned flesh. “This means you are mine. Every part of you, which means I will care for you when you can’t or won’t care for yourself.”

“It was an unwanted distraction, but I won’t fight you on this.” Xavier held still as I got out the skin glue and used it to repair the damage he’d done before bandaging the wound. “I would appreciate it if you’d go with Alec, though. He’ll enjoy himself with you and I’d simply be distracted by what I’m hoping to accomplish.”

“Hm.” Rising from my seat, I went over to study the purse he’d been working on. The lines, the stitches, were more complicated than the skill level he’d reached with his private lessons. From the sketches on the pad nearby, I could see what he was going for. Something sleek, streamlined, with intricate details and the elegance of one of his favorite luxury vehicles. Like all of his designs, he wouldn’t be able to relax until he was finished.

Except he needed to hand over more control than he could to anyone besides me to accomplish that. It had taken him years to trust other designers and seamstresses to make dresses and suits for his lines. That had expanded to the junior line, with Alec assisting at the helm, but this new project seemed to have brought them right back where they’d started.

Not a great place to be.

“I’ll go with him, but on one condition.” I motioned for Xavier to stand so I could hold his gaze as I spoke. Hopefully make the decision easier by taking the choice away. There was no guarantee it would work, the man could be stubborn as hell, but damn it, I had to do something. “Bring in one of the leatherworkers to help you with this. You said a few showed potential. I don’t care if you hover over their shoulder the whole time. Pick one who won’t care either. You will stop torturing yourself.” I brushed my fingers over his lips to smooth away the dark frown. “That pleasure belongs to me.”

A small shudder, one I could feel with my fingertips as Xavier closed his eyes and nodded. He inhaled roughly, his voice barely audible on his exhale. “I need this, Luther. I can’t...let all I’ve built become stale. Stop growing. I’ve become too comfortable, too...tame.” His throat worked. “I need to know the changes in my life won’t leave me with barely a memory of that passion I used to have.”

That word, ‘tame’, told me everything I needed to know. As much as Xavier was enjoying our home more now that it actually looked like a home, as much as he soaked in the affection he shared with me and Alec, it was taking him away from that single-mindedness of always being the best at what he did. The first to start a new trend among the socialites, the one who earned a spot on the front page of every fashion magazine so often it was practically reserved for him.

He didn’t see how he could have both.

And maybe he was right. Maybe one would have to give, in some ways.

I wouldn’t force him to choose, but there was a small voice in my mind whispering.

Please choose me. Choose us.

It would never be that simple. He’d been erased by his family and those scars were too deep for him to ignore. I understood. I supported his need to scream out to the world ‘I’m here and I’m not going anywhere!’

The problem was, it put us right back where we’d been for too damn long. Me standing back while he tried to prove himself, over and over again. Waiting for the moment when he needed more. When he realized he didn’t have to prove himself to me.

There was one change that seemed to have brought back those old feelings more than anything, though. Our relationship.

So I cupped his cheek, keeping my voice level to avoid any misunderstandings. This wasn’t an accusation. It wasn’t going to make me love him any less. But I needed to know. “Do you still want to marry me?”

Xavier blinked like the words didn’t quite make sense to him. He lifted his hand to the back of mine. “God, yes, Luther. More than anything. And we’ll continue with the planning as soon as…” He blew out a breath. “I can see why you would have your doubts, but I will take your advice. I’ll bring on someone with adequate skills and stop being such a control-freak.”

My brow lifted at that. “This I have to see.”

“And you will. But don’t gloat, or I’m not bending over that goddamn desk.” The edge of his lips quirked. “Take your win, my man. The next one won’t be so easy.”

The next big win would be standing at the end of the aisle, with Alec by my side, watching Xavier walk toward me. And I didn’t expect it to be easy. But it would be worth it. Worth whatever I had to do to show Xavier he didn’t have to sacrifice who he was, all his goals, to have me standing by his side, promising forever.

Tonight, I’d focus on the ground we’d gained. Patting his cheek, I jutted my chin toward the desk. “Get yourself comfortable. I want to make sure this lesson sticks.”

A bit of tightness along his jaw, a flash of defiance in his eyes, but Xavier simply nodded before turning away from me. The moments of submission he gave me were often like this. Grudgingly accepting what he needed until we got started and he finally surrendered.

It was beautiful to watch, so I took my time going to him as he braced his hands on the edge of the antique desk he’d gotten at a little shop in one of the beachside towns we’d visited with Alec last summer. Our boy was exploring his tastes in everything from clothes to furniture, and he loved things that were a bit different. Handcrafted pieces with a history, a contrast from the sharp modern style Xavier had leaned toward for the longest time.

I wasn’t sure what made this desk appeal to Xavier more. That it was solid enough to fuck our boy on, or that he could picture the look on Alec’s face the moment he’d seen it every time he came into this room.

Probably the latter, but the thing had gotten a lot of use.

Spine straight, toned muscles tight along his arms and back, visible even under the T-shirt, feet a precise shoulder-width apart, Xavier had the look of a man who’d lay his head on the chopping block without losing an ounce of dignity. The only thing that really ruined the image was that nice round ass, sticking out, ready for me to enjoy in every way.

Moving up behind him, I reached around him to unbuckle his belt, speaking low, close to his ear. “I’ll use this. And when I’m done beating you, I’m going to fuck you. Make sure you feel me when I’m gone and don’t forget to care for my property again.”

When I pressed my already hard length against him, Xavier hissed. His arms shook as he visibly struggled to maintain his perfect position. “Would you like that included in the prenup?”

“Yes.” I wouldn’t take the bait. He was still trying to cling to control, push me off balance—likely unsure why he was doing it, just knowing he couldn’t give in just yet. I’d broken through all his walls before and I had no problem doing it again as I bared his ass and warmed the flesh with the palms of my hands. “I want it all in writing. That you’ll belong to me. That you’ll take my name. That I can have you, like this, whenever the fuck I want.”

Another shudder, followed by a moan. “You’re going to traumatize my lawyer.”

“Probably.” Laughing, I undid the tie holding Xavier’s hair, letting it flow loose. The sleek length spilled over his shoulders, and I gathered it to lay it over one so it wouldn’t hide his face. Made sure there was nowhere for him to hide from me. “Would you like me to amend any of my demands?”

There was a brief pause. Then the moment I’d been waiting for came. A small smile curved his lips as he shook his head. The tension left his body and he shifted, like he was impatient for what came next.

“No. Not a single fucking one.”

With the experience I’d gained at local clubs over the years, dealing with submissives wasn’t difficult. Alec stumbled at times, but it came so naturally, all he really needed was guidance. And he thrived under a caring, but firm hand.

Xavier craved some of the same, but his own Dominant side was too strong to even really call him a switch. I couldn’t imagine him letting go of the control he held onto so tight with anyone else. But our relationship gave him that space where he could. Where he’d finally seen the satisfaction he got from helping someone else escape for a time was something he could have for himself.

The pressure he was putting on himself to produce something extraordinary had to be released before it consumed him, and I was just the man to get him there. Years ago, I would’ve faced more of a fight trying to make him see that, but our relationship had evolved.

And I would use that progress for all it was worth.

Folding his belt in half, I took a step back to give myself some room, eyeing the smooth flesh I hadn’t marked in far too long. Despite Xavier’s never-ending projects, things around here were going smoothly, with a comfortable familiarity that had one day flowing into the next. We were all busy, had fulfilling careers, so the time apart—within reason—didn’t put a strain on our relationship. It only made the time together more special.

But the balance could easily shift if Xavier went back into his old mindset of leaving nothing outside of work to spare. That had been our normal once. Something I’d accepted.

I couldn’t go back there.

No more conversation was needed, so I laid the belt across his ass with no warning, smiling at the way that perfect stance shifted, Xavier hissing out air through his teeth. The second was harder, the Crack! of impact filling the large office and reverberating back to me like the base beat of my favorite song. I put my whole arm into the next three strikes, controlling the strength of them, swinging the belt from side to side to land them on his upper thighs.

The steady pulse of the sting and the deep ache was changing for him. His shoulders relaxed, his head bowed, and he was subconsciously leaning into the blows from the thick leather.

Now my words would be heard. I leaned over him again, digging my fingers into the rising welts. “Fuck, you needed that, didn’t you? To feel yourself again. To feel me. This is a horrible punishment because of how much you want it, but the real penalty comes after. When we’re not having so much fun.”

Xavier let out a breathless laugh, squirming under me. “I love it when you get nice and twisted. But if you want this to linger, you’ll have to keep going.”

Still too much in his head, but that wasn’t a problem. I didn’t mind a little Topping from the bottom, not with him. It reminded me of exactly who I was dealing with. That submitting to me wasn’t Xavier sinking into a headspace he usually craved. It was somewhere he let me bring him. A path we walked together until I tipped him over the edge.

His words told me he was still hanging on, but not too tightly.

So I gave him that final push.

Five more strikes, then six to catch him off guard. As he gasped in air, pressing back against me, I threw the belt onto the desk in front of him and undid my own. Lowered the zipper of my jeans, freeing my dick. I let him feel my length against his ass as I reached out to open the drawer where he kept the lube, breathing a laugh against the side of his neck when I found one bottle, almost empty. Thankfully, there was more.

“Our sub is such an accommodating pet. He’s gotten better at coming to you when he needs you.” I poured the lube over his hole, then into my palm to slick some over my dick. “And you’ve gotten much better at showing how much you need him.”

Xavier glanced at me over his shoulder, his eyes a bit glazed. His knuckles were white as he gripped the edge of the desk. “What can I say? He’s spoiled and I don’t mind taking a quick break to fill that greedy hole.”

The crude words were hot, but also made it obvious Xavier was avoiding anything too emotional. I’d be worried if I didn’t see how happy Alec was whenever he left the office, riding on a high that sometimes had me keeping an eye on him for hours to make sure he didn’t crash. Our boy had come to us not expecting much from anyone, so even crumbs of affection would satisfy him.

But Xavier had learned to give him more, whether he wanted to admit it out loud or not.

I wouldn’t force him to delve into his feelings now, though. Sometimes, he still saw them as a weakness when they were spelled out. He showed his love in his own way, that was all that mattered.

Positioning myself against him, I pressed in slowly, gripping his hip with one hand when he tried to thrust back and take me in all the way. I brought my other hand to the back of his neck, a reminder of who was in control. One he desperately needed.

Lips against the curve of his shoulder, I breathed out a laugh. “He’s not the only one with a greedy hole. Keep that up and I won’t let you come.”

“Fuck you, Luther. Don’t toy with me.”

Another laugh as I dragged out, then eased back in. “You me ‘fuck me, Luther’. And it should sound more like begging.”

The growl he let out was cut off when I slammed into him, replaced by a low moan. I didn’t quicken my pace, but taking him deep and hard stopped any more attempts to take over. The grip around my dick made it hard to restrain myself, my whole body ached to go faster, claim my release in his hot body, but I wanted to draw this out as long as possible. Indulge in the brief time when I could feel he was completely mine.

Panting, Xavier lowered his forehead to the desk, not even bracing against the impact. Simply accepting the pleasure until I withdrew again, teasing his hole with the head of my dick, rising up so I could watch it stretch around me. Precum spilled over the tip of my dick as I moved back enough to deny him the pressure and he let out a rough sound.

“Damn it, Luther. Please…” His arms trembled as he lifted his head, but he didn’t look back at me. “Please fuck me. Please don’t fucking stop.”

I ran my hand up and down his spine, soothing him as familiar footsteps approached and the door opened. Without looking, I knew who it was. “Alec, your Dom is suffering. Come help him.”

Without a second of hesitation, Alec crossed the room and slipped under the desk. Xavier cursed under his breath, moving away from the desk to give our boy more space. He supported himself with only one hand, using the other to grip Alec’s hair.

Filling him again, I latched onto his hips, controlling the motion, fucking him, making him fuck Alec’s mouth, leaving no room for him to escape the onslaught of pleasure.

“Oh fuck! There. Right there!” Xavier tipped his head back, muscles tightening around me, a whimper escaping Alec as the grip on his hair clearly became painful. But he didn’t stop bobbing his head, swallowing down every last drop of Xavier’s release.

Ramming in deep, I found my own, riding the violent tide of bliss until my vision spotted. I drew out to leave a bit of a mess on my man, the white sheen on his skin, contrasting with the red welts, so fucking beautiful all I could do was stare at it as I slowly came down from the rush of ecstasy.

Alec crawled out from under the desk as Xavier pulled up his jeans with a huff and a slight curve of his lips. The mess would force him to take a much-needed break. Not my original intention, but one of the benefits to the days he worked from home.

If I’d done this to him at the office, he’d be tearing me a new one.

Still on his knees, Alec swept his thumb over his bottom lip, sucking on it and looking very pleased with himself. He gazed up at Xavier, then me, expression softening with the love he always put right out there for both of us to see.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt, but dinner is served. I’m gonna crash right after so I’m fresh in the morning.” Alec smiled, resting his head on Xavier’s knee. “The brunch was making me a bit nervous, I haven’t been to one before and the formal stuff still makes me feel out of place. But it’ll be better with you there, sir. You set me right when I mess up without embarrassing me.”

Guilt shadowed Xavier’s eyes, but he masked it quickly as he stroked Alec’s hair. “Luther is just as good at that, pet. He’ll be joining you in my place.”

Rather than look upset, Alec lifted his head and gave Xavier a reassuring smile. “He really is. And Judy is great at managing the investors, so all we have to do is go there and look pretty.”

Combing his fingers into Alec’s hair, only the tick of Xavier’s jaw betrayed his feelings about the woman. He respected her, or she wouldn’t be part of his upper management, but he was not a fan of the trial by fire she often put Alec through. As tough a Dom as Xavier could be, Alec had latched onto a softer side of him that had continued to grow.

His growly, protective side was sexy as hell. Even more so now when he wrapped it around our boy and leaned in for a soft kiss. “You are that, but don’t you dare forget what you bring to the table. Your sketches still need some work, but you communicate your ideas with the designers even better than me. The junior line wouldn’t be so successful without you.”

Glowing under the praise, Alec rose up on his knees for another kiss. “I’ve learned from the best, sir. And I’m still learning. Candace is teaching me how to sew. I’ve been spending my lunches and any time I have after work practicing.”

Taking out a wipe from the drawer where I’d grabbed the lube, I cleaned my hands and chuckled. “We’ve created another monster. What am I going to do with you two?”

“Keep dinner waiting while I go clean up.” Xavier rose to his feet, drawing Alec with him. “You, pet, will tend to me while I do. If you’re good, maybe I’ll do something about that needy dick. You held back for me. I am pleased.”

“Mmm, well I was kinda distracted watching the two of you.” Alec grinned at me when I cupped his cheek, feeling his smile against my lips as I kissed him. “I’m glad you came in here, sir. I thought about it a few times, but I always feel bad about distracting him from his vision. You seem to know when it won’t be a bad thing.”

I kissed him again, appreciating the honesty. “It took years to get here. I think you’d surprise yourself, though, love. You’re not nearly as disruptive as I am. I know how much he likes having you close.”

“This is true, but don’t let our man corrupt you. I enjoy you coming when I call.” Xavier wrapped his arm around Alec’s shoulders, holding him close to his side. “Speaking of which. Shower. Now.”

Watching them leave the office, I couldn’t keep the goofy smile off my lips. Sure, there were still things to work out, but the uncertainty I’d had in my relationship with Xavier for so long had loosened its grip. In moments like this, I stopped doubting asking him to be my husband. Stopped wondering if the timing had been all wrong. If it felt too much like asking him to decide what was more important. Me or his life’s work.

Something I would never do.

Dinner was pleasant, most of the silence filled by Alec name dropping all the famous people who’d be at the brunch. Talking about the well-known orchestra that would be playing music, the chef that he’d met last week with Judy to sample food that was ‘almost as good as Ms. Lacey’s’, which got him a warm look from the cook. And an extra slice of lemon meringue pie. Our boy was so open and loving with his praise, and a horrible liar, so it was clear he meant every word.

Ms. Lacey was an excellent cook, but I had a feeling it was how much she cared for Alec, the time he spent with her and the almost motherly role she’d taken in his life that made every bite taste even better.

I could relate in some ways. My relationship with my family was strained. Having someone genuinely care about me was special.

Alec had no one for so long, he soaked in every bit of attention, all Ms. Lacey’s fussing, like a sponge. This lavish lifestyle could have easily overwhelmed him, or ruined the best parts of him, but a lot like jumping into design and his own little taste of fame, he somehow managed to stay grateful, humble, and so eager to learn as much as he could so he had something to offer in return.

Watching him thrive in everything Xavier and I had given him was a treat.

The end of the day had gone so well, I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t prepared for something to go wrong to steal away all those good feelings. In the bedroom, I took out the cotton onesie I loved dressing Alec in, enjoying how it eased him into a more vulnerable headspace, how he trusted me enough to really dive into it. I’d learned a lot about ‘little play’, but I didn’t think we needed anything so official. Tucking Alec into bed, giving him a teddy bear, and holding him close as he drifted off was enough.

And he was adorable on those morning, still slipping into that role so effortlessly as I carried him to the kitchen and gave him a cup of chocolate milk and some cereal. A rare indulgence—the play, not the hot chocolate, the boy was addicted—but something special just for me and him. Xavier tended to stand back a little, a soft smile on his lips, as though he wasn’t sure how to join in. Or if he even should.

I’d work on that. I knew very well Xavier had never had this kind of softness as a child. He didn’t have anything to draw from for roleplay.

Head on the pillow, Alec’s quiet breaths telling me he’d already fallen asleep, I waited until the digital clock by the bed became a bright red warning that I wouldn’t be in my best form tomorrow if I didn’t get some sleep myself.

I held out a little longer, hoping to hear the door creak open, any moment.

But the darkness took me. And it was a good thing.

Because Xavier never came to our bed.

In the power exchange, in reaching out to him, giving him that release, I must have missed something.

The problem was…

I had no idea what.