Double-Edged Hearts

Alex.

Me and mine own this city.

I don’t just believe that because I’m an arrogant asshole who thinks he owns Chicago.

I believe because I know.

I know when people sleep, eat, work, play.

And I know when the lost return.

My father used to warn me about keeping secrets from those I trust. So, I feel like a prick now for keeping Cora a secret.

My goddess…

It’s been four years since I last saw her. She never belonged in my world in the first place, and I know I shouldn’t be watching her right now.

I am danger, and my world is full of death. Maybe that’s why I accepted that last time we saw each other was the end.

But then she popped up on my radar days ago.

She went to our spot at the secret garden. And since she knows me, she must have known I’d find her eventually.

We have this thing called obsession. It makes her feel me now as I watch her in the crowd of vipers. All of them are dressed in their finest for their fundraiser. Suited and booted for their event.

She looks like the angel she is in her long evening gown that caresses her body the way I want to. It’s cream and striking against her sun-kissed skin. Striking against that long brown, velvet hair. A perfect match to her bright autumn eyes.

I can see it all now as I watch from the tower in the hotel.

She’s sitting at a table, and as she glances ever so slightly over her shoulder, I know she can feel me.

She knows I want her.

Does she know how badly I want to taste her too?

***

Cora.

I sip on the water hoping it will cool me down.

It’s not hot in here. It’s anything other. The temperature is cool and the hall has a perfect balance to calm the Chicago heat.

What’s making me burn up is him. Alex.

He’s here. I sensed him from the minute he got here. I don’t know if anyone would understand what I mean by that. Sensing.

Maybe I’m crazy.

Maybe I’m just imagining things.

If I’m not though, it’ll be my fault he’s here watching me like a stalker. That’s how it feels, but Alex isn’t that. The man looks like a Greek god, and with his masterpiece body, he doesn’t have to stalk anybody.

I stirred the nest, alerted him to my presence in his city after a four-year absence, and now that he’s here, I don’t know what to do.

I can’t believe he came after the way I ended things. Shame fills me like it always does when I remember the way I left him. No matter the circumstance, you don’t treat people you love the way I treated him. You don’t destroy a relationship like the one we had, regardless of the reason. I just had to leave when I did, disappearing from everyone.

That was the past and our lives are different now. Mine is very different.

He must know we can’t be together.

He must know what I am now.

He’s a mobster, and I’m a federal agent.

He would know that. I’ve seen how his people work, and there’s not a damn thing they don’t know.

I knew I shouldn’t have gone to our spot, but I went anyway. It’s the secret garden by the river where he first kissed me. That’s where I always meet him when I’m here in Chicago.

Part of me hoped he wouldn’t find me, and if he didn’t, it would mean he moved on and forgot me. So I could forget him too.

Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe I needed closure. Something to truly come to an end in my mind. Something more than when I left his bed years ago and never returned.

I still my breath and try to calm the arousal that’s clawing at my insides.

We can’t be together anymore. That’s what I need to tell myself.

He must know that, but does he care?

***

Alex.

I don’t give a fuck what she is.

I’m walking on shaky ground just being here amongst a group of feds who would love to see my ass behind bars for something they could pin on me. I don’t care though.

I didn’t get to where I am by caring about shit like that.

What I care about is her.

I still care after all these years, and it would have been better for us both if she’d stayed away. A woman like her has too much power over me. I don’t want to be a slave to emotion, but that’s what she does to me.

It’s almost laughable. I’m Alex Bellantoni, third capo to Claudius Morientz, the biggest boss of them all in this city. I shouldn’t be anybody’s love-sick fool, yet this woman has me wrapped around her finger, making me put everything at risk to come here for a taste of her.

I have a choice. I can leave now that I’ve seen her, and she’ll sense I’ve gone. She’ll know that means this is goodbye.

Or… I can do what we always do.

I can lure her down the path of temptation like the devil I am and claim her.

As she runs her fingers over her cheek and down… slowly… down her elegant neck, the lure of temptation seeps into my mind.

Temptation calls to me to take my doll and make her mine again.

Like an obedient servant, I answer the call and take my next step, giving in to desire. I smile when she stands up.

It will be interesting to see what happens next.

***

Cora.

I tried to fight the yearning burning me up from the inside out, but I failed.

I get on the elevator and head up to my room on the fifteenth floor. The second I step out, I feel his presence even stronger. It’s so powerful I turn and look behind me, but he’s not there. No one is. It’s just me standing in the corridor.

I head to my room, and that’s where his presence grips me again so tight I can barely breathe. I’ve never met a man who could have such an effect on me.

The room is dark, and the sliding doors are open, allowing the breeze to waft in and lift the chiffon curtains hanging by the windows.

Musk tickles my nose, and the hint of tobacco.

I release a ragged breath and decide to confront him.

“Alex… I can’t,” I say to the darkness, and I’m answered by a low, deep chuckle that makes my nerves scatter.

***

Alex.

“You can’t?” I ask and step out of the darkness.

I walk from the moonlit balcony into the room so she can see me better.

She trembles. She doesn’t like this obsession any more than I do.

The difference between us is she really could walk away, and no one would ever be able to find her. Then I’d just be passion’s bitch.

I’d just be the fucker who can’t forget her.

“I can’t,” she repeats and makes her voice sound like she really is determined to resist me.

The corners of my mouth lift into a smile I know will weaken her. “I can’t either.”

I can almost see that pretty little mind of hers working overtime to find excuses. I know I’ve won when I move closer and she doesn’t back away. I walk right up to her, reach out to touch her face, and she looks up to me with her beautiful eyes. The look inside them pleads with me. It pleads with me to touch her, to take her, to claim her, to possess her.

To make her mine again.

“I’m…sorry I left you the way I did. I—”

I plant my finger on her delicate lips, stopping her apology. I can’t hear it now, not tonight. She wouldn’t like to know what I went through when I couldn’t find her. No one would ever know what I went through when I thought she was dead.

“Shhh…no, no we’re not talking about that tonight, goddess. Not tonight.” I try to hold back my emotions, masking it with a crude smile, but all that I feel laces in the echo of my words. “Tonight I want something else.”

Her lips tremble and desire fills her eyes. “What…”

“You…” I breathe ***

Cora.

“I shouldn’t,” I whisper gazing into his piercing brown eyes.

He looms over me, towering me with his six feet like a vengeful god, but the sharp angles and planes of his handsome face always steal my breath away.

“Doll, if there was any doubt in your mind of should and shouldn’t, you would have stayed away from me. But you went to the secret garden, our spot, knowing I’d find you.” The deep baritone of his voice is smooth and tempting.

“It’s been four years,” I rasp, a final attempt to resist him. One I know I won’t win.

I turn my head, but he catches my neck and his fingers dig into my skin. It’s almost painful, but I’m gazing deep into his eyes just the way he wants me to.

This man is no different from the criminal I’m trying to find. He’s a gangster, yet when I look at him, I just see Alex. I see him for who he is, not what he is. As he touches me, sparks sizzle over my skin, gripping my heart, stealing my last resolve.

“Then tell me goodbye, and I’ll leave you alone forever. Release me from this bond I have to you, Coraline Monroe. Set me free so I can be the devil you know me to be.”

My eyes widen.

Release him?

Say goodbye… forever.

***

Alex.

I wait for her to say it.

Part of me wants to hear it.

It will set me free and I can live the rest of my life trying to forget her.

She hesitates, and my pulse quickens when her lips part for her to give me the answer.

I need her to say it. If she doesn’t, what comes next will just be desire. The combustion of what we are when we come together.

***

Cora.

My lips tremble.

I should just say goodbye even if I don’t mean it.

I’m a fool and a fraud. How can I claim to want to work for the greater good when I’m here allowing myself to fall to the mercy of this man?

I gaze up at him. My handsome, handsome devil.

The years have flown by, but I still feel the same.

My silence gives him the answer.

I can’t say goodbye forever.

Not tonight.

Tonight, I just want him to touch me.

Tonight, I just want him to claim me and make me his.

Tonight… I just want to belong to him. So when he loosens his grip on my throat and lowers his mouth to my lips, I move closer to him too.

***

Alex.

My lips touch hers, and I know my fate is sealed.

Goodbye won’t come tonight.

I won’t fool myself into thinking it will never come.

We’re good and evil, darkness and light.

Tonight she’s mine, and I am hers.

The kiss from my angel works its way through my body and into my soul.

***

Cora.

He cups my face and deepens our kiss as he picks me up and moves with me over to the wall where we rip at each other’s clothes until we’re both naked.

My pussy clenches with need as he presses the fat head of his cock to my entrance and plunges into me.

I cry out from the wild fire of passion that rips into my soul, holding on to his wide powerful shoulders as he starts pumping into me. He feels so good. I already know this is just the beginning of our night.

***

Alex.

This is just the beginning.

But it will also be the defining moment for her.

She doesn’t realize that she’s mine.

I’m showing her who she belongs to as I fuck her.

She can’t forget me, and I can’t forget her.

This is us.

This is what we are when we’re together.

It’s something we both need to consider when the sun comes up with the reminder of who we are.

The mobster and the fed.

Bright sunlight spills in through the window as I roll onto my side.

I shield my eyes from the glare and turn back so I can sit up and open my eyes without the impending sun beaming down on me.

It’s when I do that that I remember last night and realize I’m by myself.

I look at the empty space next to me where Alex lay. The scent of him is still there. It’s powerful and masculine just like him.

I already know not to look around. I can tell he’s gone.

His presence isn’t here anymore.

Last night was amazing, but with the dawn of a new day came the highlight of reality.

I’m not the Coraline Monroe he knew years ago. He full named me last night. Everybody calls me Cora. The only person to full name me the way he did is dead.

My mother. She used to do that when she was mad at me. After the fate she suffered, I’m not sure what she would have called my behavior last night.

I’m in Chicago for work. That is why I’m here. Christ, if anyone knew I was with a guy who could be called into questioning at any time I’d lose my job straight away.

I’m not the person I used to be and I need to remember that too when it comes to my heart. When Alex last saw me, I was just the computer hacker who did jobs for whomever could fill my pockets. I chose who I worked for, whether that was the cops or criminals. I foolishly thought that not everybody who was classed as a criminal was such, but I was wrong.

Learning the truth about my father, certainly taught me a lesson I’ll never forget. My story is so twisted. The rude awakening I got years ago made me realize there are no good criminals.

Alex and I have been screwing around in this game since I was twenty. I’m twenty-eight now, and I actually don’t know if I’m any better or worse for the sparse contact we’ve had.

I release a labored sigh and hug my knees to my chest.

Which should I be more mad at myself for? Sleeping with him in the first place or the fact that I had wild unprotected sex with him all night.

Thank God I’m on the pill. It’s a lifesaver. I can’t say I’d think about anything like that when I’m with him. That’s the problem. I don’t think.

I’m not stupid. It’s just the loss of control. I know it’s shooting myself in the foot because being on the pill isn’t the only thing to consider when you have sex the way we did. I’m certain he’s had his host of women in the four-year span we’ve been apart. I’ve been with people too. I shouldn’t kid myself into thinking we’re a couple, because we aren’t, and now I need to figure out what I’m supposed to do when I see him again.

After last night I know seeing him is inevitable.

I slide off the bed and my eyes nearly pop out of my head when I glance at the clock on the wall and see it’s nine o’clock. Nine o’clock, as in I need to be at work in forty-five minutes and I’m going to be late as fuck.

Shit.

I run to the bathroom and take a quick shower, then I drag on my clothes lightning fast. I keep my hair down because it’s easier, then apply some tinted moisturizer and sweep over my lashes with mascara. I don’t look my usual, but I can make this work.

There’s a knock at the door, and I nearly jump out of my skin.

I rush over to answer it and find a very annoyed-looking Lyndsey standing before me holding a box of donuts.

“You should be glad I’m your friend,” she scoffs and pretends to pout, although I think the pout looks real enough because she’s genuinely annoyed. It’s then I remember I was supposed to meet her for breakfast.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I say, bringing my hands up to my cheeks.

One of the things I liked about her when we first met was her love for sugar. It’s worse than mine. She’s my partner, and when we got placed on this assignment, we were grateful that we could support each other’s sugar cravings. It helps for the tough cases.

She saunters past me and looks around the apartment suite like she’s checking for something.

“Did you see Zack?” she asks, looking at me with narrowed slits, her bright blue eyes curious.

“No.”

“Is that a lie?” She inclines her head to the side and her honey blonde hair drifts over her shoulder.

I laugh a little. “What? Why would I lie about something like that?”

“I should tell you that I’ll be less mad at you if you agree you’re lying and tell me you spent the night with him.” Those sharp brows of hers arch, and she gazes at me with eager eyes while I stifle a groan.

Zack is our supervisor. Back in LA, when we worked with him, I told him no several times when he asked me out. I all but rejoiced when he transferred to the Chicago office because it meant being free of him.

Now I’m here and the man insists on picking up where he left off. I haven’t even been in Chicago for a full week yet, and he’s asked me out at least four times. My answer will still be the same.

“No,” I say, which is the same thing I will keep telling him.

Lyndsey shakes her head at me, walks over to the coffee table to set the donut box down, and places her hands on her hips so she can glower at me.

“Okay, so first, I’m pissed because you totally stood me up and you know I need sugar when we have to deal with shitheads like our new dirty arms dealer. Second, what’s wrong with Zack? Are you sure you aren’t lying? Your skin’s all glowy, like…” She squints, and my cheeks flush.

Lyndsey is the kind of woman who can look at a person and tell straight away if they’ve had sex. Given the fact that I don’t do it nearly as much as she does, I’m not that hard to figure out.

I press my lips together while she studies me, and when her lips part, I know she suspects something.

“Your skin’s glowing like a lightbulb. Are you seriously going to tell me you weren’t with a man last night?” she argues.

“Oh my God, Lyndsey, must everything be about men? We have to be at work in less than half an hour.” I’m hoping that she’ll drop the questions by my mention of work.

“We have to be there by ten. Zack sent a message earlier asking us to come in a bit later. He has a meeting that’s going to run late, and he wants to sit with us while we go over the findings from the last few days. I assumed when he messaged he was with you.”

While I’m glad for the extra fifteen minutes, I won’t have her thinking Zack was with me in any capacity.

“Lyndsey, please. I’m not going to say yes to him.”

“Why the hell not? The man is gorgeous.”

If she’d seen Alex, she’d know what gorgeous means. Zack is gorgeous, but not Alex gorgeous.

With his jet-black hair, a face that’s all angles and planes, and that smooth olive skin that has a permanent tan like he’s been lying around in the Italian sun, Alex always looks like he just stepped out of a dream.

He’s every bit the Italian stallion with his bad boy personality and image. Maybe that’s what I like. That’s why I can’t resist him. His arresting good looks prevent me from doing so. Or perhaps it’s the same curse that got Mom when she fell for my father. If it’s that, then I can’t allow that to happen to me.

“Gorgeous isn’t always a good thing. I want a man for what’s inside him, not just the packaging,” I point out.

“Packaging is nothing bad, Cora. Good God, woman.” She smirks and starts laughing.

“I don’t want to date him,” I repeat for the millionth time.

“He’s been chasing you since forever. Richard likes him. Isn’t that reason enough? Richard doesn’t like anybody. You should know that.”

She’s not wrong. Richard is my… well, I’ve called him ‘uncle’ forever, although we aren’t related. He was my mother’s best friend. So he’s always been in my life and he took on the role of ‘father’ when I needed one the most.

I was fourteen when I went to live with him. It was the day after my parents died. Richard took me in and looked after me. He’s worked for the Bureau for over fifty years, and now he’s the director. Definitely, my inspiration for joining the Bureau. Thinking about him now reminds me of why I definitely can’t be with Alex.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” She nods. “Richard’s a good judge of character, and I’m certain he would love to see you with a great guy. Same as me.”

“Thank you. And yes, you are right. Richard is a great judge of character.” My words feel empty and more like a mindless mantra.

I’ve always valued Richard’s opinion, always looked up to him, and somewhat idolized him for his intelligence.

The only time I’ve ever challenged him in any way was four years ago when he found out I was seeing Alex. He was furious. I’d never seen him look so angry and never with me. When he told me getting involved with a man like him would only end in pain I was so blinded by love I couldn’t see anything past how I felt about Alex. Then Richard hit me with a hard truth that changed my life and all that I believed.

“So, that must mean something,” Lyndsey points out.

“I just want to focus on work at the moment, and if I date, it’s not going to be someone at work.”

It’s a lie, and that actually isn’t to do with Alex. I can’t date Zack because I don’t trust him. The man wants to get in my pants. That’s it. I know it is. He’s just after sex, and I hate that. I hate being with a man and knowing they just want me for my body. It’s the price of having double D’s. Few men look at me and see the real me. The only guy who’s looked at me like that is the one I mustn’t have.

I continue to stare at Lyndsey as she looks on at me in surprise. I doubt many women have turned Zack down. I know she wouldn’t if she were single, but she has Owen. Her own Prince Charming. She’s been with him since she was sixteen. They were high school sweethearts and now they make their long distance relationship work.

“Fine. You win.” She rolls her eyes at me. “So, did you just oversleep?”

I nod. Best to say that. There’s no way I can tell the truth. I can’t talk about Alex to anyone.

It’s better that way. Saying the word mafia is dangerous enough as it is. I can’t talk like that around anybody who doesn’t already know that I’m linked to them in some way.

What’s more important than that is keeping my head above water. If Alex knows I’m here, then the others must know too, the Chicago boss and his crew. Altogether, they’re known as The Four. They’re dangerous men nobody wants to mess with.

I know I have to be more than careful. I’ll just do what I have to do in Chicago and leave.

That’s it. The answer.

I have to say goodbye.

Lyndsey keeps her gaze trained on me as I walk over to the sofa and grab my purse.

“Today’s going to be a long day, Cora,” Lyndsey says, and her mood instantly sinks. As she switches to business mode, I’m reminded that I don’t have time to be sidetracked by men because we have an important job to do.

“Yes, I know. We’ll be lucky to leave by nightfall.” I sigh.

“Nightfall? I’m thinking more along the lines of tomorrow morning. This guy is clever.”

“He absolutely is,” I agree.

We’re special agents in the counterterrorism division. We were called in from L.A to assist on a national security case here involving a Russian arms trafficker called Matvey Kuznetsov. He has links to a syndicate of international terrorists called The Hand. He’s in Chicago, and we don’t know why. What we do know is that if he’s here, there’s something brewing. The results of his last crime left over two hundred people dead in Sarajevo after a bomb attack. That’s the sort of thing he gets up to. I can only begin to imagine what his plans are here.

Apart from a murder that alerted us to his presence two weeks ago he hasn’t been seen since and no one can find him. All we have is a delisted phone number for a phone that was probably tossed into the river.

“I’ve never worked on anybody like this guy,” Lyndsey states.

I have. Matvey is not the first arms dealer I’ve encountered. The last one was a guy called Goliath. Six years ago, I was called to Chicago by Claudius himself to help take him down. The table has literally turned from me helping a bunch of mobsters to being a federal agent.

Unlike that time, Matvey is definitely going to be a challenge. He’s clever but I think he just has the right help. Whoever sent him here to do their bidding is making sure he’s untouchable.

“We just have to be careful and work with what we have,” I answer.

Lyndsey picks up the donut box. “Let’s go. We can eat these on the way and cheer ourselves up.”

I nod and grab my jacket.

We get outside to the parking lot, and the roar of a motorcycle makes me look up to the road above us past the upper level floor.

There’s a biker there dressed in full black. I don’t have to guess who he is.

That’s Alex.

He’s on a midnight black Kawasaki that looks like it was pulled from the set of The Terminator. Instantly, my blood heats from the memory of last night.

I gaze on wondering what I’m truly going to do about him.

He speeds off, and I watch until I can’t see him anymore. Seeing him was a warning, a signal that he’ll be back.

My traitorous body craves him like it always does, and eagerness fills me.

It’s not good to keep secrets. What do I do, though, when my secrets become the master of me?

My problem isn’t just that I can’t resist him—he has my heart too, and that’s the most dangerous thing about him.