Drown Me Slowly

Everyone trusts a puppy.

That was the idea. No one looked at me twice as I padded my way down the street, unless they were cooing at what they thought was a normal Husky. Then I growled at them and walked away so they didn’t try and pet me. I did not like touching, especially when I was in animal form. And I did bite.

At the moment, I was enjoying wandering down the streets of London. It was rainy, of course, but I didn’t mind. I’d lived in this country for all twenty-three years of my life. Not liking the rain would only ruin a day, though wet fur wasn’t something I liked all that much. Again, no choice in the matter. Human form wasn’t an option. Not since it started, since I figured out that I was being followed. My senses as a human were as dull as any other, but as an animal, I could pick up on so much more. I smelled that the people after me were vampires and demons.

Not good for someone like me. Not at all.

When my parents were alive, they liked to try and scare me with horror stories so that I would listen to them. Not very kind, but those were my parents. Like my mother before me, I was a shifter. That meant that I could take the form of anything with a heartbeat— human or animal alike, voice and all. Now, that would be lovely if not for the fact that there were about a dozen shifters on the planet, no thanks to me.

The whole reason for my kind existing was because some damn demon couldn’t get her magic right, and she created a little mistake instead. So the legend went. It was a folktale anyway. A long time ago and in a land very far away… (insert spooky voice here). A demon woman had a human child. It was 50/50 when you bred with a human. Demons and vampires were immortal, but nothing else was. This demon was a spirit binder. Her specialty. Every demon had one. The woman wanted her child to be immortal, and she thought that if she gathered the souls of countless creatures and bound them together, she could make her child immortal.

But she made it something else.

The child had the ability to take the form of any living thing it wanted. It wasn’t immortal, thought it still had more magic than the woman could have ever thought. We all came from that child. So in a way, I guess we were all related. I heard that only someone with the blood of the original shifter could make another.

My mother was a shifter and my father was human. I had been a fluke. How could I not have been when of the dozen that existed, my mother and I were two? One now. My mother couldn’t remember the last shifter in her family, but he was long gone, to America last I’d heard. We weren’t supposed to be as common as this closeness in generations. My mother’s theory had been that we were changing, but she was dead, so what the fuck did she know?

It wasn’t odd for a demon to spot me once in a blue moon and decide that they wanted to capture me. I would fetch a pretty penny on one of those auctions they liked to have. But the thought of being sold sit ill with me, and that was why I was currently a dog. When in animal form, my scent got mussed up for a vampire. They could still spot me if they were close enough, but I mostly just smelled like a dog. It was as much of an advantage as I could get.

With all this new attention, I wondered what was causing it. Before, it was mostly happenstance that got me into demon and vampire trouble. Now it seemed like they were seeking me out, as if they knew what I was and it was their job to track me down. Well, if they thought it would be that easy, they were sorely mistaken. Demon or not, I would kill them if they tried to touch me. Simple as that. I was the only one who needed to survive, and it would be their mistake if they attempted to take me.

“Oh look!” an American girl shouted when she saw me. Damn.

She smiled and rushed to me, crouching down and cornering me. Her blonde hair was tied high up and I saw that half of her head was shaved completely smooth. Really? Do you believe that you’ll look back and think that was a good choice? And the ear gauge was perhaps a bit much. What happened to the classic beauty? The one with rosy cheeks from something other than makeup, and natural features? All we had now were these abominable attempts at non-conformity for the sake of being different and nothing else. Nothing at all wrong with looking normal.

“I love you!” she squealed, roughly digging her claws into my fur. Oh dear… someone was about to learn a very valuable lesson that she would only learn once. She looked over her shoulder at an approaching man. Christ. “Can we keep him?”

The repulsive, dirty young man eyed me as I snarled at his slag. “He doesn’t look very friendly.”

“Shut up.” She narrowed her eyes and pet me harder. “Look how sweet he is.”

And that set me up too perfectly. I growled and sank my teeth into her arm until I tasted blood, and she screamed. The man she was with decided that the best way to punish a puppy was to kick it. That only pissed me off, naturally. I launched at him, and dug my teeth into his calf. He yelled louder than the girl did as he shook his leg, trying to get me off of him.

I was launched into a stone wall, where I sank to the ground. My side ached and I'd landed wrong on my paw. Well fuck.

“Oh, my god!” the girl shrieked at the sight of her bleeding arm. “Call someone, Matt!”

The boy glared at me, looking like he was coming in for another go. I forced myself up and yelped in pain. I couldn’t help it. I was running away while he called animal control.

The pain was too much after only a few minutes and I snuck into an alley ‘round side of a bakery. I stopped and caught my breath, panting. I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in two days, which wasn’t helping the cause. It was difficult enough to breathe as it was, but walking to real safety would be an issue. This alley would have to do for now. I’d slept in worse places in the six or so years I’d been on my own, though I didn’t like the look of the sky. It was darkening and I knew it was only a matter of time before the rain got worse. I was always cold, but tonight seemed like it would end up much colder.

Without the energy to go and find something to eat, I curled up alongside a large wastebin that smelled empty. The lid had been left open, and it was a poor yet better-than-not shield from the rain. I panted, lying down and resting my chin on my paws. I watched people rushing through the rain, families and strangers alike. I saw fathers holding tight to their little children, making sure that nothing happened to them. They didn’t seem to know that that wasn’t going to always be enough. Still, I couldn’t stop watching them all.

I was dozing and my body felt cold. Rainwater was pooling on the little piece of cardboard that I was lying on, and I wished I’d shifted into a larger animal when I had the strength to do it. I was small and weak now. A poor choice, but I thought it would make it easier to hide myself. I should have just been a bird.

My eyes were closed and I was almost out when I heard feet shift towards me. There wasn’t a moment for me to stop what happened next— a big man had me by the scruff of my neck and hauled me into the air. I saw crooked teeth pulled into a smug smile.

“Told ya I’d find ‘im,” the man said to an approaching woman. I struggled and clawed, but he held me at arms’ length. Both people were in uniforms that told me I was fucked for the time being. Animal control.

The little woman rolled her eyes and stopped short. “Yes, I get it. You’re very good at capturing ferocious puppies.” She eyed me. “Oh, look at you. You can’t have done what that girl is accusing you of.”

When she went to pet me, I bit her hand. The man shook me and the woman flinched back and examined her hand. She wasn’t angry, but the man was. He carried me to the van outside of the alley; the back doors were already open. I made the best effort I could to claw at him. That all ended when he tossed me into the van. I landed on my hurt side again and I couldn’t get up.

Then I couldn’t get up for another reason. I felt the needle slip into my skin as the man held me down. “Not so violent now, huh?”

Everything was heady in less than a minute. I couldn’t see anything around me and I blindly swiped my paws. It wouldn’t do a thing, but I couldn’t go down without a fight. Slowly… slowly… I drifted away. Dammit.

“… he’s healthy enough,” a woman said as I came back to life. “Needs to be fixed, but that can be done later.”

Try and fix me and I neuter your whole family.

I smelled nothing at all, so I made the jump to a sterile room. When I opened my eyes and the fog left, I saw a vet. I was being examined by a vet. I very much wished I was that bird right about then.

A woman in a white coat picked me up as she spoke to a boy in scrubs. “He’s ready to go.”

And then I was taken. I went through a long string of movements that I wasn’t up for dealing with. My body was too weak for me to fight any of it. I had to deal with being handled by several people that I fantasized about murdering in a lot of beautiful ways. Bloody and rough, the way I liked it. The only way I knew how to do it. No one was careful of the damaged ribs that the dolt of a doctor missed on me. I growled at each and every one of the people that were hurting me, even biting a few. I was deemed a troublemaker, which was so kind a word for what I actually was.

This all led up to me ending up in a pet shop.

It happened so quickly. I was set in a pile of shredded newspapers, surrounded by Golden Retrievers and one Dalmatian. They looked at me, probably figuring out that something was wrong. Animals could always tell that I wasn’t one of them. The middle-aged woman behind the counter was speaking with someone in charge of dropping me off like garbage. I heard all of the exchanges, and I was deemed a homeless puppy, desperate for a good home. I would’ve loved nothing more than to shift back and show all of these people what I was looking for, but that would’ve called a lot of attention to this place.

I supposed I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I couldn’t risk shifting here and someone seeing me. That would do nothing but alert the men after me to where I was. I’d recently moved towns, and I didn’t have the means to do it again. Not yet. It would be easy to shift, kill the witnesses, drain the register, and take off, but that would only guarantee that this was put on the news. And there was no telling if there were cameras in this shop.

“He’s a biter,” the man who brought me in told the woman. He glared at me. “I doubt anyone is going to want him. If he gives you trouble, let me know. He can be sent... somewhere else.”

The woman nodded. “Sure thing. As long as he doesn’t hurt the other dogs, I think he’ll be all right.”

I turned my head then, catching one of the puppies as he began to sniff me. He looked up, caught. There was no regret in his eyes as he began again. And then I was swarmed by the rest, all smelling me. Noses poked at my fur, really getting in there.

Why did I let this happen to me?

****

I believe they thought I was their king. When I woke up, I was in a pile of puppies. I went to sleep peacefully, my head on my paws, then I woke up and they were all lying on me or near me. They made a barrier between me and the rest of the cage. I glared at all of them, but they didn’t care. They only yawned at me.

It had been a couple days and I was still injured. So add that to having to deal with people wanting to look at me. I would bite them all until they decided that they didn’t want me after all. I watched two other puppies get adopted, each seeming gleeful at the prospect. Goodie for them, I guessed.

While I sat in the cage, I had nothing at all to do. I was used to the quiet, with nothing to entertain me. I lived in my head, so that was nothing new. Sometimes I lost myself in daydreams about the silliest of things. Nothing that mattered, just somewhere quiet that I could rest. Like specifically, Winnie the Pooh’s home. When I was a boy, it was the only story my mother ever read to me. The memories were growing duller with time, but I could picture the book very clearly. The worn spine and cover, her voice in the dim light of my bedroom, before everything went to hell. I guess it hardly mattered now.

My army of puppies wouldn’t leave me be, so I beat my tail against the floor. All that did was make one of the puppies—Gary Seven as I called him—try and catch my tail with his paw. I hit him in the face for it and he swatted at me, rolling onto his back accidentally. I rolled my eyes and settled my head back down. We were fed shortly after, but I didn’t eat anything. Dog food wasn’t really something I was up for. I only drank the water when it was cleaned out. Then the puppies would get their slobber in it and I would have to go without. I’d gone longer without food. I could keep going.

After everyone was fed, it was playtime. Garys One and Five were wrestling around me, nipping and falling on me. I woofed at them to go away, but they ignored me. I was stumbled into by growly dogs and ones that weren’t paying attention to where they were going. Floppy eared bastards.

I had my head on my paws again, trying to think up a plan. Two more people walked into the store and I wanted to kick myself when I heard them discussing puppies. I wish I’d turned into something uglier. Then they wouldn’t look at me. So many hands on me…

I was facing away from the opening of the cage so as to shun the new people. Their own fault for coming here. Then the puppies gathered ‘round me as if I were their god. I was piled on again, and I wanted to end so many lives right then.

“Lots to pick from,” I heard an American woman say from behind me.

Then a girl, also American. “Yeah. I hope one of them likes me.” The voice was like honey, warm and too sweet.

The woman laughed like it was silly. “It’s a dog, Robbie. You need one that barks.”

Wow.

I heard the cage open as the woman behind the counter speak. “All right, luv, you can go in but be careful. Don’t let them get out.”

“Okay,” the girl squeaked.

I watched her move around us to the little area clear of newspapers. She got on her knees and I saw a dress poof out around her, a short, white dress with blue flowers printed on it. My eyes followed up her body, taking her in. If I had to guess, I’d say she was a teenager. Eighteen or so. She had pale skin that looked silky from where I sat. She was tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, letting the rest fall around her waist in curls. My eyes locked on hers, though she wasn’t seeing me. Those eyes of hers were bright blue and hidden behind massive glasses. Black frames in squares. The girl was innocence incarnate, every feature on her face soft and unreal.

“Hello,” she said to us. “How are you?”

Were we supposed to answer? She put her hand on the floor, leaning closer and giving me an excellent view of her cleavage. Then her eyes were on me. Uh oh. I looked back and saw that the other dogs retreated, leaving me hanging. Cowards.

Here we go. Now she would pick me up, pet me, hurt me. Then I would have to bite her. She’d cry and I’d have to watch it happen, see the tears of bitter betrayal fill up her blue eyes. And all that could be avoided if she just looked at another puppy.

“Hi, sweetheart. Can I pet you?”

Wait, she was asking. I was meant to make the final choice here. Her hand was extended, waiting for me to come to her. She smelled like caramel. Hmm. I licked her palm. Yes, caramel. Then she smiled. Oh, damn. I licked her. I’ve been a dog far too long…

To her credit, she didn’t grab me.

“He’s a biter,” the employee warned. “You don’t want him.”

The girl gave her a look so subtle that I doubted the employee even noticed. “He’s not going to bite me.”

Confident. I like confident. I also like biting. Her sweet skin will taste lovely.

I was looking at her again and she smiled as if I were her firstborn child. “Will you?” she asked like she knew I wouldn’t. The little seraph put her hands under my chin and her lips turned up when I didn’t hurt her. She took great risk in placing a kiss on the top of my snout. Her voice was very quiet. “Yup, thought so.”

She was well within face biting distance and I could send her running for the hills, but I didn’t. She ran her fingers very softly through my fur, and she felt like fire. I couldn’t stop her as she warmed up my skin. I let her pet me. Robbie, as the woman called her, leaned further down to me. I whimpered when she touched the wounded part, and her reaction was like she was hit with a hundred volts.

“Oh!” she yelped. “You’re hurt. I’m so sorry, sweetie.” The girl picked me up gingerly and cradled me to her chest as if I were a baby. She shushed me and stroked my fur again, gentler this time. My face was against the swell of her breast and it was just as warm as her hands. I moved, resting my throat against it to soak up as much heat as I could. This place felt so cold. Everywhere did. I couldn’t remember the last time I'd been warm.

She smiled again, softly. As her fingers ran through the fur on my chest, she said, “Are you going to let me be your mommy?”

Hmm. I thought for a few moments. If I were to let someone adopt me, I would be taken out of this place and brought to a home. All I would have to do was wait until they were asleep to rob them blind and take off. Better than being here and waiting for something better to come along.

“Oh, don’t get him,” the woman said. She looked enough like Robbie for me to assume she was her mother. Thirty years older, ragged, and like the life had rotted away in her. Her hair was a much darker blonde, and cropped to her shoulders. The woman was just shy of overweight, in baggy pants and a baggier t-shirt. While her daughter was put together gracefully, this person had clearly stopped caring long ago. And now she was trying to ruin my chances. “He’s scraggly looking.”

The girl was clearly offended, but she didn’t tell off her mother. She just looked at me. “He has such sad eyes,” she lamented, using one finger to gently brush my face.

I do not have sad eyes. My eyes were perfectly angry, thank you very much. I was stuck with dog eyes for the moment, but they were normally a very dark, olive green shade. I thought I needed to do some work here. I pressed my nose to her warm neck and began to lick her. She giggled madly, clearly loving it as she was intended to. I gave her doggie kisses all over before I settled comfortably on her lap, ending her by putting my paw on her hand.

She smiled brightly again, lighting up the room. “Oh, I have to keep him. He’s too sweet.”

Ha.

Her mother scoffed and went to pay for me. Robbie took me out of the cage and my puppy subjects mourned my loss with howls of misery. They all needed to get a life.

Robbie stood with me, petting me in all the right places while her mother bitterly took care of the bill; I guessed she really wanted a Golden Retriever. Oh well. She could get one in a few days when I was long gone and Robbie was sobbing over her lost puppy. Surely, she would find another one that actually wanted her.

After everything was taken care of and my puppy supplies were purchased, we left. I sat on Robbie’s lap as her mother drove around, yelling at people for driving on the ‘wrong side’ of the road. She thought everyone here foolish for not having her same customs. I very much wanted to bite her.

“I have to get more boxes,” she told her daughter as she pulled alongside a shop. “Wait here and don’t talk to strangers.”

Robbie smiled at her. “I’m nineteen,” she said sweetly. “Pretty sure someone isn’t going to tempt me with candy and free hugs.”

With no humor, her mother snapped. “Don’t get an attitude with me. Just sit in here and don’t talk to people.” The unpleasant woman stormed off and left us alone.