Finding the Upside of Down

The rough, solid shove against Tabitha’s right shoulder demolished her precarious balance as she negotiated the last step. Her pile of textbooks, pencils and new tablet flew from her folded arms and splattered in an arc on the narrow landing. She reached out to save herself but her hand slipped from the rail and she crashed onto her knees with a bone-jarring thud.

“Oops, Tubby Tabby’s done a bellyflop, but then, you always were clumsy, weren’t you? Such a shame, on your first day at college and all, to make such a scene.”

Tabitha flinched at the scathing words, the scorching heat of embarrassment burning across her face as she looked up into Amelia Eckerton’s sneering expression. What the hell was she doing here? Why wasn’t she at university?

As usual, Tabitha struggled to respond to Amelia's taunts, to find the words to refute her cruelty and the courage to say them out loud. As she cowered on her knees, the other students pushed past, stepping nonchalantly over her belongings or shoving them aside so they didn’t have to step on them. By the time Tabitha had gathered her composure, Amelia had disappeared down the next flight of stairs. Her knees hurt, her wrist throbbed where she had used it to break her fall and tears of embarrassment burned at the backs of her eyes. As she tried to scramble to her feet with as much dignity as possible, a hand provided support under her elbow.

“You all right?”

Upright once more, Tabitha turned and found a dainty blonde girl by her side.

“I think so. Thank you for helping me,” she said.

“I’m Jaclyn,” the blonde girl announced as she bent down and began to gather Tabitha’s books from the floor. “Here you go,” she said as she handed over Tabitha’s things. “Good luck. I might see you around.”

“Thanks again,” Tabitha said loudly as she watched Jaclyn skip down the stairs and disappear in the milling students.

Tabitha’s positivity and mettle for her venture into campus life vanished with the helpful stranger. One cruel action of a ruthless bully had shattered her new start and brought the past rushing back with stark cruelty. The throb from her knees underpinned the tremble of shock and dismay as she clutched the handrail to steady herself. Was this year about to be a repeat of Year Twelve, where she had crumbled under the barrage of abuse from Amelia and failed to deliver the work to achieve a satisfactory score for university? Resentment flared and Tabitha stiffened her spine.

No, I will not lose this too. I will not let her get to me.

She consolidated her pile of books, pushed away from the handrail and made her way down the stairs.

Shock rattled through her as she struggled to regain her earlier orientation and negotiate the maze of corridors, but at last, with a sigh of relief, she slipped through the door of room two-one-nine into the half-filled classroom. With surreptitious glances, she studied her companions—a couple of girls huddled in the back corner whispered to each other, and three guys her age sat silently waiting for the lecture to start. One of them looked up as she reached a spare desk.

“Hey, Tabitha Cockell, long time no see,” he said.

She looked directly at him, stunned by a flash of recognition. “My god, Alex, what are you doing here?”

“I bombed out in my second year of my vet course, didn’t work hard enough. I have to get some money together to go back so took a job at the racing stables,” he said. “Boss wants me to have some qualifications so he sent me here.”

“Wow,” Tabitha exclaimed, stunned at Alex’s failure to make the grade at university.

“So where ya been, Tabitha?” Alex asked. “You haven’t come on any of the car club cruises with your dad, and you deactivated your Facebook ages ago.”

“Yeah. Would love to have been with Dad, because he even lets me drive the car sometimes, but study and work called. As for Facebook, I stopped using it because there was too much nastiness and shit going on.”

“Yeah, it can be like that. Anyway, Tabitha, it’s good to see you again. Maybe we should get together to study sometime,” Alex suggested.

She nodded. “That would be good, Alex.”

As Alex turned to answer a question about textbooks from one of the other students, Tabitha found a seat and prepared to begin. While she waited she glanced surreptitiously at Alex several times. She had always had a thing for him since meeting him four years ago at one of the cruises, but both fathers had made it clear Alex was too old for her.

The door opened and shut as another person arrived. Footsteps came closer. Someone leaned over her shoulder and whispered in her ear.

“Oh my goodness, fancy that, Tubby Tabby—we’re in the same class. This is good. We can get reacquainted.”

Tabitha cringed as the words cut into her soul. She struggled to hold back the burn of acid bile in her throat as her stomach contracted into a tight ball of grabbing pain. With a sense of foreboding, she glanced up at Amelia—her nemesis—then dropped her gaze back to her books. She had nothing to say.

“Did you have a good trip on the stairs, Tubby?” Amelia chuckled. “And I thought college was going to be so boring, with no one to stir.”

“You could’ve really hurt me, Amelia. Just go away, this isn’t high school and we aren’t kids anymore,” Tabitha muttered, keeping her eyes on her desk.

“Well, well, well, think you’re too good for me now, do you? Perhaps I’ll have to rectify that before you leave today, Tubby,” Amelia sneered.

“My name is Tabitha. Don’t call me that childish name,” Tabitha snapped, all her frustration and consternation at Amelia’s continuing ridicule adding sharpness to her tone.

“Awww, Tubby, don’t be like that,” Amelia admonished as she drifted to the back of the room and found a seat.

Tabitha sat stock-still, her hands clenched on the table in front of her, fighting to control the tremble. Her stomach threatened to rebel and she swallowed hard to keep it under control. Of all the people to be in her class. She wanted to run from the room and never come back, but something held her in place—a desire to complete the vet nursing certificate and get a full-time job at the local vet clinic where she now worked part-time.

As she had walked away from her high school graduation, she’d dared to believe the misery of Amelia was behind her. Thirteen years of bullying and angst that had almost destroyed her life. Well, there’s no way she’s going to take this from me. I will not buckle. She would suffer, and struggle with the abuse as she had before, but somehow she would survive this.

Amelia quickly sat down when the lecturer entered the room. He introduced himself as Kayne Smith and invited them to use his given name because they were all adults and he preferred to keep it informal. Apart from the inevitable class member introductions, Tabitha didn’t have to say anything and she breathed a sigh of relief when her turn had passed. She found the lecture informative, and thought the first assignment looked challenging but interesting and decided on the spot she would base the report on the vet clinic where she worked, if the manager would give permission.

With a two-hour break between classes, Tabitha walked across to the nearest shopping center, planning to hide in the crowds of shoppers and office workers eating lunch—somewhere Amelia couldn’t find her. As she munched on her sandwiches in a corner of the food court, she examined her options. There weren’t many—she either put up with Amelia, or she pulled out. She was determined to complete her course. The other thing she decided was not to tell her parents this time. They had been upset and frustrated with the ongoing bullying in school, always jollying her along or offering solutions that failed to work. She was an adult now, so she had to cope with this on her own.

At two when she returned to the college, Amelia, flanked by the other two girls from class, was waiting for her at the end of the corridor.

“So where’d you get to, Tubby Tabby? I missed the fishy smell that emanates from you, fishbait. I thought we could have lunch together. Mighty antisocial, aren’t we?”

“I had a job to do,” Tabitha muttered defensively, not willing to admit she had run away to avoid Amelia.

“Never mind, there’s always Thursday,” Amelia replied.

“Whatever,” Tabitha muttered as she pushed past them into the room.

As she took her seat, Amelia leaned over her shoulder. “There’s no escape, fishbait.”

Tabitha stared straight ahead at the whiteboard as she tried to ignore the threat that seared her soul. There were always online courses, she thought, but that would mean trips interstate for the contact sections—more fees and more costs. It wasn’t an option.

She settled down in her seat, determined not to let Amelia’s taunts get to her like they had in Year Twelve, but all through the lecture, she was on edge, all too aware of Amelia behind her, just waiting for a chance to pounce at the end of class.

Tabitha dawdled with her packing up, hoping Amelia would have gone, but she and the girl called Petra who sat next to her in class were waiting in the corridor when she emerged from the classroom.

“So, Tubby, have a good day?” Amelia asked.

“Fine, thank you.”

Amelia smirked. “Didn’t find it all too hard, did we? I know you’re not the brightest light globe in the box. How you even got in, I don’t know. Maybe your mom put in a good word for you. She’s pretty good at that, isn’t she?”

Tabitha looked directly at Amelia, struggling to make sense of her comments. “What has my mom got to do with it? I got in the same way you did, Amelia—by getting the right score.”

“Yeah, like you still got to be a fairy in the ballet concert. Your mom always goes in to bat for you, doesn’t she? Either that or you’ve cheated—too fat to be a fairy, and too stupid to make the grade. Cockles belong in the sea, fishbait, not stinking up our college,” Amelia sneered loudly and gave Tabitha a little shove toward the stairs.

“For goodness’ sake, Amelia, we were five, and it wasn’t my fault the teacher made you be a tree just because you were too tall to be a fairy.”

Amelia pushed her again, harder this time. “But you got to be a fairy, even though Mrs. Edwards said you were too fat. And she was right. You were too fat. You are too fat.”

“Hey, you. Let up on her, okay? This is college, not the schoolyard you just came from,” Alex yelled from the doorway of the classroom.

“What’s it to you?” Amelia taunted.

“She’s my friend,” Alex replied.

“Really?” Amelia exclaimed. “Well, Tabby doesn’t need your protection. We go way back, to preschool, in fact. She knows I’m only stirring her.” Amelia glared at Alex.

“Well, it looks to me like it’s stirring she could do without,” Alex replied.

Amelia turned her focus back to Tabitha. “Oh, fishbait, it looks like you have a friend. Maybe more than a friend, which would be a first, wouldn’t it?”

“Shut up, Amelia,” Tabitha retorted, totally mortified for Alex. She glanced over to see how he had taken Amelia’s suggestive insults and tried to give a small smile in his direction that said sorry. Then she turned to walk down the stairs.

“Oops, looks like I hit a nerve,” Amelia mocked.

Tabitha kept walking down the stairs, cloaked in embarrassment, for Alex and for herself. She found it difficult to acknowledge him when he caught up to her. Finally, she summoned up the courage and the voice to speak. “Thank you for helping. I’m sorry about what she said.”

“Try not to let it get to you, kid. She’s just an immature bitch, that one. The novelty will wear off in a couple of weeks.”

“I wish, Alex. She’s been bullying me since we were five.”

“What a bummer,” Alex muttered, a grim expression transforming his face.

“Yeah, I thought I’d seen the last of her at the end of Year Twelve, but here she is, turning up like a bad penny to make my life unbearable again.”

“Just ignore her, Tabitha. Anyway, see you Thursday.”

“Okay,” Tabitha replied and headed to the bus stop. The last thing she wanted to think about was her next day at college, but that was all she did on the long ride home—the next dreaded meeting with Amelia and what she should tell her mother about her first day at college.

As she walked in the door, her mother pounced on her.

“Tell me, young lady,” she demanded.

“It’s great, Mom. Alex from the car club is in my class. We’ve already got an assignment too,” she informed her mom, trying to sound enthusiastic, but her words came out flat and dull.

“You don’t sound all that sure, dear.”

Tabitha tried to smile but instead started to cry. “It was good, Mom, but Amelia turned up in my class. I wish she hadn’t.”

She wiped the tears away and blew her nose with the tissue her mother handed her.

“I hope she’s not going to start up all that rubbish from school again. I mean, you’re adults now. I thought you said she would be going to university, becoming a doctor or something,” her mother said.

A dying sob squeezed her chest with a painful jerk as Tabitha shook her head. She didn’t have an answer to her mother’s question, but she muttered, “I don’t know, Mom. Maybe she didn’t get high enough grades.”

“Never mind, love. You go and get freshened up. I’m sure it will be fine,” her mother reassured her.

Tabitha trailed to her room, the weight of her dilemma heavy on her shoulders and burrowing into her heart. She already knew it was not going to be fine. And she had no other options. Her parents weren’t well-off, and they’d already paid her fees. They couldn’t afford to lose that money, or pay fees to go out of state to do her course at another college.

By the time she got out of the shower, a bitter anger had invaded her—anger that one person was so determined to destroy her opportunities. Strip her of choices in life. Damn Amelia Eckerton. How dare she be so cruel?

She’d heard her father arrive home some time ago, but she was reluctant to go downstairs and participate in the expected rehash of the day she wanted to forget—she didn’t want to see the worry on her parents’ faces, as she had last year when she’d struggled to cope with Amelia’s bullying. It made her feel sick that she’d caused most of their worry. They were good parents. They had always wanted the best for her, and they didn’t deserve this hassle with their only child.

With slow steps, she finally joined them in the dining room. Her mom, of course, had cooked her favorite dinner, ravioli with thick bolognese sauce. For her mom, food was the great healer, the timeless expression of love. Tabitha knew this, accepted this, but felt a deep-seated pain because all that ‘love’ had made her chubby.

Her dad smiled at her, but she saw the worry under that smile, and guilt swirled in her gut because she’d caused it. She would have to pretend it was all good.

“Mmm, this looks great, Mom,” she said, picking up her fork.

“You all right, honey?” her dad asked.

She looked up at her father and smiled. “I’m fine, Dad.”

“Do you think that nasty piece of work will give you more trouble?” he asked.

Tabitha shook her head. “Nah, Dad, I’m sure she’s over it by now.”

“One would hope so. You’re not children anymore,” he said and began to eat.

Tabitha’s thoughts whirled in her head. No matter what she’d said, Amelia definitely wasn’t over it, but it was time to change the subject.

“And you’ll never guess, Dad, who turned up in my class. Alex. Apparently he bombed out of vet school.”

“That’s not good, because that boy has brains.”

“He said he might go back, but for now he’s working at the stables.”

“Well, I hope he does. I’m sure his parents have made sacrifices for him to study.”

She knew her father wasn’t having a dig, but guilt niggled at her anyway.

* * * *

Thursday came around all too soon, and from the moment she opened her eyes, Tabitha felt tightness grab at her chest and the uneasy slop of her stomach. It got worse with each bus stop on the way, but she refused to give into her body’s desire for flight. Today she would have to fight her demons. She made a silent pact with herself, that she would look Amelia in the eyes and tell her to bugger off. Tabitha imagined herself saying it, but immediately felt anxious and tense. It was one thing to intend to do it, to plan to do it, and entirely another to actually do it to Amelia’s face.

Tabitha was one of the last to arrive in the classroom. Amelia lounged in the back row with her new friends. Leo, Alex’s new mate from the first day, smiled her way as she entered. She smiled back, feeling strengthened by the thought of having at least one friendly face in the room. She swallowed hard on her dry throat, took her pencils out, set up her tablet and switched off her phone, trying to appear competent and calm to anyone watching. But already on edge, she cringed inwardly when someone walked up behind her. Almost unconsciously she mentally curled in on herself, preparing for the taunts. But before they could be thrust at her, the lecturer walked in.

“Amelia, did you need to see me?” he asked.

“No,” Amelia muttered, immediately retreating toward the back of the room.

“Then I suggest you find a seat. We’ve heaps to get through today.”

Tabitha heaved a sigh of relief. Whew, saved by the bell—or the lecturer, actually.

Then Alex arrived, looking scruffy in what were obviously his work clothes. “Sorry I’m late, got held up at work,” he said to Kayne as he wound his way through the desks to his usual seat. He tapped Tabitha on the shoulder as he slipped behind her chair. She grinned up at him then watched him until he was seated. He was such a hunk.

Silence blanketed the room and Kayne began.

The subject matter was fascinating. Tabitha became so enthralled she almost forgot her nemesis lurking at the rear of the classroom. She loved animals with a passion. She had always dreamed of becoming a vet, but her obvious lack of academic ability had soon squashed that idea. She’d mourned her failure to be brainy enough for quite a while, but then decided a veterinary nurse qualification was well within her reach, and would satisfy her love of animals. She already worked one day a week at the local veterinary surgery—cleaning cages, comforting animals and refilling shelves. The clinic manager had promised her another day when she qualified, and perhaps a full-time position in the near future. In the meantime, she had her job Thursday night and every second Sunday afternoon at Mrs. Waldrop’s, a quaint little gift shop where you would be guaranteed to find that elusive gift for the person who had everything. Ivy Waldrop could be a formidable lady, with high expectations, but she had a heart of gold and had always treated Tabitha with kindness since she started working in the shop just before Christmas. The only problem was that the college campus was completely in the opposite direction and she had two buses to catch tonight to reach Mrs. Waldrop’s, and she wouldn’t dare be late.

* * * *

With only fifteen minutes left of class, Tabitha’s uneasiness returned. As the lecturer rattled on, right down to the last five minutes, she was almost tempted to ask to leave early, worried she would get caught up by Amelia and miss her bus. She had already packed everything into her backpack as the lecturer outlined the assignment. This needed to be completed in the next fortnight. It sounded interesting, but Tabitha couldn’t concentrate on it with Amelia about to scuttle out of the door in readiness to attack her. As they were dismissed, she snatched up her bag and bolted for the door, but Amelia and her friends had already slipped out into the passage.

“You look harassed, Tabitha. You gotta be somewhere?” Alex asked as he came up behind her at the door.

“Yes, I have two buses to catch to get to my part-time job,” she told him. “Time is cut fairly fine, and I’m afraid Amelia will hold me up.”

“Come on. I’ll play bodyguard,” Alex said and grinned down at her.

“Really?

Alex laughed then. “Don’t be so surprised, Tabitha. I have a younger sister, and she was bullied by a couple of kids in primary school. I really wanted to punch them in their noses, but Dad said no. Caitlin took up karate the next year and gained so much confidence knowing she could take them down if she chose they stopped hassling her.”

Tabitha was grateful for Alex’s company when, as expected, Amelia was waiting for her. But at the same time, embarrassment washed over her for Alex, who obviously felt obliged to help her. That quickly turned to mortification when Amelia started a sleazy verbal tirade directed at her, about him. Alex glared at Amelia but stayed silent, just putting his hand on Tabitha’s back to urge her forward. Tabitha lowered her gaze and hurried down the stairs, and Alex stood with her until the bus arrived, not commenting on the abuse. She made it to work with minutes to spare and knew if there were the slightest delay in the future, she would be late.

* * * *

The following Tuesday she drummed up the courage to ask Kayne if she could leave class ten minutes early on Thursdays, to catch the earlier bus. He understood, but warned if she missed anything or showed signs of failing, he would have to rescind his approval. Tabitha nodded, happy with the outcome as she went off to lunch.

She had just gotten settled back at her desk after the lunch break when Amelia waltzed into the room and, grinning wolfishly, veered so close to Tabitha’s desk that her bulky backpack swiped everything on the desk onto the floor.

Amelia paused for just a moment as the clatter echoed around the room. “Oops, so clumsy of me,” she muttered in a singsong voice before flicking her long hair over her shoulder and walking away.

Tabitha watched her take her place in the last row of desks before she slipped off her chair to gather up her scattered belongings. Her face blazed with humiliation under the curious scrutiny of the others and the quiet snickering coming from the back of the room. Alex wasn’t there yet and no one else offered to help. She was still flustered and unsettled when Alex hurried through the door just in time for the beginning of the lecture, and found it difficult to concentrate. By the end of the class, she felt totally confused about zoonotic diseases and ever so slightly panicky.

Alex came up behind her as she left the classroom. “So did that all make sense to you, Tabitha?”

She shook her head. “No. I’m having trouble concentrating today,” she replied, but refrained from telling him that she had been unsettled by Amelia’s little stunt. It was extremely embarrassing that she still couldn’t cope with Amelia’s teasing even though she was now an adult.

“Tell you what, why don’t I come over on Saturday and we can go over it together. I have track work at the stables in the morning, but I could be at your place by two.”

Overcome by pleasure, excitement and gratefulness, Tabitha grinned. She liked Alex, and his offer to share study was a great idea. “That would be great, Alex. Maybe we could talk about the assignment too. I have some ideas and some notes.”

“Great, Tabitha. See you Thursday.”

All the way home, Tabitha felt warm inside, and for a while it helped to ease the anxiety about Amelia.

No one was home when she got there and she went straight to her room to review the day’s lecture. Instead she found herself doodling Alex’s name across her lecture pad, and when she finally went to bed, she was no closer to understanding the contents of the lecture.

Tabitha lay awake and pondered why Amelia hated her so much. Surely it wasn’t just the debacle at the ballet concert thirteen years before. It had to be something else, but although Tabitha racked her brains, she couldn’t come up with one thing Amelia might hold against her. She planned out imaginary scenarios on how she could act the next time Amelia picked on her, but deep down she knew she would never have the courage to carry any of them through. The only time she had found the courage to fight back and used some of the strategies the counselor had given her, Amelia had called her a cheeky bitch and given her a physical beating, leaving her with a black eye and bruised ribs.

Tuesday’s lectures were always the hardest, because Amelia niggled at her on the way into class and was always waiting afterward. Tabitha had come to rely on Alex’s company walking to the bus each week.

When Alex didn’t turn up for class Tuesday morning just before mid semester break, she wondered where he was and fully expected a hard time from Amelia on the way home.

At the lunch break, she paused by Leo’s desk. “Hey, Leo, where’s Alex?”

Leo shook his head. “Dunno. Tried calling him. No answer.”

Amelia snickered as she pushed past Tabitha. “Awww, Alex has gone AWOL.”

Heat rushed up Tabitha’s face and she gave an embarrassed little smile to Leo.

“Just ignore her, Tabitha. I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”

She nodded and hurried out of the room, planning to meet Jaclyn for lunch. She made her way to the café, all the time aware of Amelia and her two sidekicks shadowing her at a distance. She saw Jaclyn immediately as she entered and waved as she made her way to the table.

“I see you have friends,” Jaclyn commented with a touch of sarcasm in her tone.

Tabitha looked over her shoulder. “Yes, I know,” she said.

Jaclyn glared at the three girls and Amelia immediately veered away and took a table on the other side of the room.

“Just ignore them, Tabitha,” Jaclyn advised.

Tabitha nodded, knowing full well that was not the solution.

Once they’d gotten their food, Jaclyn and Tabitha became absorbed in their conversation, and the tension of Amelia’s presence faded.

“So how’s the course going?” Jaclyn asked.

“Great. We have our first assignment already and I think I’ll do it on work.”

“Good idea. I’m not so sure about my course. I thought I would like it because I’m an organized person, but I hate doing Excel.”

Tabitha shuddered. “Glad it’s not me. I’ll stick to animal poop and fluffy kittens,” she said.

“So what do you like besides fluffy kittens? Do you like that new girl, Layla? The one who sings 'By the Water' and 'Thunder on the Beach'?

“I do. I thought about going to her concert later in the year, but have to save up for it or dip into my car savings. The tickets will probably be around a hundred dollars.”

“Well, if you decide to go, I’ll come with you, although I’ll probably need to put the new doll I want for my collection on lay by or like you, raid the car savings, if I do.” Jaclyn grimaced. “Can’t wait to start full-time work—more money.”

“Yeah, I already work two jobs to make ends meet. So how long have you been collecting dolls? I collect teddies.”

“Wow. So do you want to send me a friend request on Facebook?”

Tabitha shook her head. “I’m not on Facebook anymore because of her,” she said, pointing discreetly toward Amelia.

“Oh, bugga. I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

Tabitha nodded. “It’s been bad for a long time.”

Jaclyn shuddered. “I don’t know how you cope, Tabitha.”

Tabitha shrugged. “I just do.”

Jaclyn stood up and gathered her things. “Well, better get back to it, at least it’s booking travel and accommodation this afternoon. See you soon.”

“Bye,” Tabitha said.

As Jaclyn walked away, she immediately felt vulnerable, and while she resisted looking in their direction, she knew Amelia and friends were still there.

To fill in time, she opened her textbook and began making notes for the first assignment, but found herself distracted by Alex’s absence. Tabitha didn’t hear them approach, but when the chair opposite her slid out from under the table, she knew who it was before she even looked up.

“Studying hard, I see,” Amelia remarked in a condescending tone.

Tabitha looked up at her tormentor. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do well, Amelia,” she said.

Amelia grinned. “Of course, and it’s so much harder for someone dumb like you, Tubby.”

Tabitha shrugged. “Just go away, Amelia.”

“So antisocial,” Amelia accused. “Oh well, come on, girls, we have better things to do.”

Tabitha watched the three girls sashay across the café and out of the door. She heaved a sigh of relief and continued her study.

* * * *

Amelia and her two friends would always follow Tabitha to the bus, whispering and snickering among themselves. Alex nearly always walked with her, but it didn’t stop Amelia’s bullying, only made Tabitha feel more secure. Today she didn’t linger when the lecture had finished, but walked briskly down the nearly deserted corridor to the stairs. There she found Amelia lounging on the balcony railing, flanked by her two partners in crime, Petra and Dawn.

“Where’s lover boy, Tubby? Left you all alone to fend for yourself? Did the fish bait smell get too much for him then?”

Tabitha mentally curled in on herself, and after a quick glance at her tormentor, ducked her head down and walked faster.

At the top of the stairs, Amelia blocked her path. “I asked you a question, Tubby. You don’t pass until you answer it to my satisfaction.”

Tabitha glanced around, but there was no one to help. She looked up at her tormentor. “I have no idea where he is, and why should I?” she muttered.

“Oh dear, then you don’t know. I saw him on the weekend with a gorgeous, slim blonde. They were holding hands, all smoochy smoochy.”

Tabitha tried hard to absorb the shock of Amelia’s words. She kept her face as blank as she could manage because Tabitha didn’t want Amelia to know her information had upset her. “Well, Alex is allowed to be smoochy with whoever he likes. We’re only friends,” Tabitha stated, trying hard to keep the tremor out of her voice. They were only friends, but she liked Alex, a lot.

Amelia began to laugh. “Only friends, I’ll bet, but maybe you wanted more, Tubby.”

“Shut up, Amelia, just shut up,” Tabitha shouted as she pushed past her tormentor and hurried down the stairs.

“Awww, poor Tubby.” Amelia chortled, leaning back on the rails to balance herself.

Terrified Amelia was right behind her, Tabitha ran all the way to the bus stop. When the bus pulled up Tabitha threw herself up the steps, staggered down the corridor and fell into one of the back seats. With shaking hands, she covered her burning face. Why did she let that bitch get to her so? She wasn’t dating Alex, so it shouldn’t matter if he dated someone else. Besides he had probably had lots of girlfriends, he was, after all, twenty-two years old. But of course Amelia’s taunts had stabbed her right in her heart as they always had. It was probably all a lie anyway, but Tabitha wondered what Alex actually thought about her. She couldn’t ask, but she could inquire where he was, as a friend. She immediately typed a message and sent it.

Missed you in class today, hope u r ok.

There was no reply by the time she got off at her stop and she had begun to feel embarrassed for having sent the text. Her phone beeped as she unlocked the front door. She grabbed it out of her pocket and checked the screen. Despite the fact that she didn’t recognize the number, she did recognize the message.

Did he reply, Tubby? LOL.

She felt sick. How had Amelia gotten her number? She had changed it at the end of the school year. And how did Amelia know she’d messaged Alex? Tabitha was suddenly stricken by a wave of humiliation, even though she expected that Amelia was only guessing about the text. She dumped her bag in the corner, picked up her cat and lay curled up on the bed, trying not to think of Alex with another girl. They had known each other through the car club for about four years and he’d never shown any interest in her, and Tabitha didn’t think he would because he was almost four years older than her—he probably thought of her as a kid.

* * * *

Alex was absent from class again on Thursday, and he still hadn’t replied to her message. She’d begun to worry about him now, especially as Leo shook his head at her questioning look when she entered the room. She turned to her desk. There was a big note lying folded in the middle. High-pitched sniggers came from behind her. Tentatively she picked the note up and opened it. The words almost jumped off the paper, big, bold and uppercase.

YOU’RE GOING TO FAIL, FISHBAIT. GIVE UP NOW.

The words stabbed at her as if they were physical weapons and her hands trembled as she scrunched the note up into a tiny ball and stuffed it into her bag. Her stomach burned with the acid of anxiety as she slumped into her seat. Smothered giggles from the back of the room taunted her, but she refused to turn around and confront them. Her greatest fear was to fail.

She could barely concentrate on the lecture, unsettled by the presence of the venomous note in the bottom of her bag, and on top of that, she felt guilty leaving early just in case she missed something important. She was determined not to fail, and there was no reason to think she should, but now that Amelia had put the thought into her head, she struggled to get rid of it. Mrs. Waldrop got quite short with her when she had to repeat herself about the new stock three times. Tabitha sagged with relief when she finally arrived home, but she had barely changed and settled on her bed to flick through her playlist when her father bellowed from down the hall.

“Phone for you.”

She sighed and rolled off the bed. Who’s calling me at this time of night, damn it?

“Tabitha, phone,” her father called again. “It’s Alex.”

An unexpected bubble of warmth exploded inside and she skipped down the hall and grabbed the handset.

“Hello,” she said.

“Have you missed me?” Alex asked.

“Yes, I did. What’ve you been up to?”

“I got chucked off my horse in track work. Busted my head, and my phone. I’ve just got out of hospital.”

“Oh, Alex, that’s terrible. Are you okay now?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m all good, just concussion. Are you still on for study Saturday?” Alex asked. “I’ll need to catch up.”

A wave of relief washed over her. Alex had been hurt, not out dating someone else, and he still wanted to come over. “Yeah, sure. I’ve got lots of notes.”

“Okay, great. Can I come earlier than two? I’m not allowed to ride for another week.”

“No problems, Alex, come any time after ten. We can get some takeaway, or make a sandwich or something here.”

“Great, whatever is easiest. Do you have any ideas for assignment one?”

“I do. What about you?”

“Been too crook to think about it,” Alex muttered.

“What about the stables, you know, training racehorses or something.”

“I know, we have a big gelding, Firefly Dusk, he’s recovering from injury. It’s pretty involved. That might work.”

“Sounds good, Alex. I am sure we can get it sorted together. So see you Saturday before lunch.”

“Yep. Looking forward to it.”

“Bye,” she said as the connection was broken.

A warm sensation of satisfaction bubbled up inside. She hugged herself. Alex was still going to be her study mate.

* * * *

It was almost eleven when Tabitha heard Alex’s car pull into the drive. She bounced down the passage and opened the door.

“Hiya. All ready to work?” Alex asked as he climbed slowly up onto the veranda.

Tabitha smiled. “Yes, if you are. How’s the head?”

Alex tipped his head to the side and parted his hair above his ear. “Six stitches and a big egg,” he said.

She leaned in to inspect his injury. It looked painful and she shuddered, but at the same time, she was aware of his smell. It was nice, spicy almost. She took a deep breath and felt her skin tingle all over with awareness. “You’re so lucky, Alex, you didn’t get really hurt,” she said, stepping back hastily.

He smiled. “Yeah. Dad says I’m too hardheaded to come to any real harm.”

Tabitha loved his smile, slightly crooked and cheeky. It sent shivers down her spine. “Is it dangerous, riding racehorses?” she asked, leading the way into the family room.

Alex followed her. “Nah. Well, mostly not, but jockeys get hurt sometimes. They say there’s more chance of getting hurt in the car, though.”

“Be careful, won’t you, Alex?” she said.

He grinned. “I didn’t know you cared.” He gave a mock bow in her direction.

“Of course I care, Alex…I…” Her face felt hot, all of a sudden. “I mean that…Well, friends are supposed to care, aren’t they?” she stuttered, and moved toward the kitchen in an effort to hide her embarrassment. “Do you want a coffee?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Alex replied as he spread his books out beside hers.

They worked through the notes from the classes Alex had missed. Tabitha found she understood them better after she’d explained it all to Alex.

“That’s better, it makes sense now,” she said and closed her notebook. “Do you want some lunch? I can make sandwiches and we can eat outside on the deck if you like?”

Alex hovered in the kitchen, making Tabitha nervous. She really liked him, but she had no idea how he felt, and as they were good friends already, she didn’t want to do anything to spoil that.

Alex perched on the end of the bench, swinging his legs back and forth. “So, Tabitha, is Amelia still bugging you?”

She shrugged. “Yes, but she’s been doing it since preschool. I don’t expect her to stop any time soon.”

“She never lets up, does she? You sure you don’t want me and Leo to shut her up?” he asked, making a mock savage face.

Tabitha shook her head, not sure what to say, as she struggled with her surprise at Alex’s offer. “It’s probably best if I just ignore it. That’s what everyone says.”

Alex followed her outside, bringing a bottle of soft drink and glasses with him.

Alex munched on his sandwich for a while, then he said, “We should go riding sometime.”

Tabitha gulped, chewed her sandwich and swallowed hastily before she choked on her mouthful. “On the racehorses?” she blurted.

Alex laughed out loud, his brown eyes sparkling and slightly crooked front teeth showing. “Hell, no. I know where you can hire some tame nags. Have you ridden before?”

Tabitha shook her head. “What if I fall off?” she asked.

Alex reached out and patted her hand. “Then you get straight back on.”

Sparks flew between his skin and hers. But before she could react, his touch was gone. She took a deep, shuddering breath.

Alex looked concerned. “You don’t have to, you know, Tabitha, it was just a thought.”

She smiled. “I’d like to give it a try, Alex, really. I think horses are so beautiful.”

“Good, wait till the holidays, then we’ll go. Now, assignment one, I think.”

By the time Alex left, they both had rough outlines of assignment one, his on the stables, hers on the vet clinic. Tabitha waved Alex off, feeling happy inside for the first time in a long while. She was even looking forward to college on Tuesday.

* * * *

Monday morning her phone beeped. She grabbed it, hoping it might be Alex suggesting they get together. It wasn’t. The message was blunt.

U gonna fail, bitch.

Tabitha shivered. Damn Amelia. The phone beeped three more times. All with the same message. Tabitha switched her phone off and concentrated on her assignment. She had no intention of failing, regardless of what Amelia said.

* * * *

Tabitha felt happy with her completed assignment when she submitted it. Amelia, sitting at the back of the room, just shook her head in Tabitha’s direction as she resumed her seat. Alex slipped into the seat beside her and Tabitha heard Amelia snicker.

Tabitha leaned over to Alex. “Amelia’s laughing at me because she thinks I’m going to fail,” she whispered.

Alex glared over his shoulder before he brought his mouth close to Tabitha’s ear. “Ignore it. I saw the draft of your assignment, it was good.”

“I can’t help but feel worried, Alex,” she moaned.

“Don’t stress. She’s just a stupid cow and you need to have faith in yourself,” Alex replied.

Slightly mollified by Alex’s reaction, Tabitha settled down to concentrate on the tutorial about canine body language.

After an enjoyable lunch with Alex and Jaclyn, she quickly ducked into the toilet on the way back to class.

As she shut the door, she heard someone enter the bathroom and voices whispering. She cringed back in the stall as she heard Amelia’s voice.

“I heard she got Alex to help her. She was really floundering. Wonder how she rewarded him…” Female laughter rattled around the tiled bathroom.

“Well, we’d better leave her one of these, just in case,” Amelia said loudly, then the door squeaked and silence enveloped the room.

Tabitha opened the door just a crack. The outer space was empty. Hurriedly she slipped out of the cubicle and went to wash her hands. She stood stunned. By each of the basins lay a pregnancy test box. Nausea washed over her. She didn’t know whether to snatch them up, hide them, bin them or walk away and pretend she hadn’t seen them. Whichever choice she made it would be wrong. As she stared at the offending items, wishing they would vanish, the door squeaked and two girls she didn’t know pushed in. They immediately saw what Tabitha was looking at. They snickered.

“They yours?” the blonde one asked.

Tabitha shook her head. “No, they were just here when I came out of the loo.”

“You’re sure there’re not yours? You probably only need one anyway.” The redhead with the razor cut giggled as she headed for the cubicle.

“I don’t need any,” Tabitha protested.

The girls just tittered and disappeared.

Tabitha’s face was searing. She looked at her reflection, her blush turning a deeper red as humiliation raged through her. In the end she heaved a deep sigh, snatched the boxes from the basins and shoved them in her bag. She snuck into class late, again, and Kayne gave her a stern look of disapproval as she tiptoed quietly to her desk. Alex frowned a query at her as Kayne resumed the lecture. Smothered sniggering that could just be heard by everyone came from the back of the room. Tabitha shook her head in response to Alex, twisted her mouth into a look of distaste and indicated Amelia with a slight tilt of her head. Alex’s frown deepened but he didn’t comment until the end of class.

As Tabitha stood to leave, he took hold of her arm and pulled her back down in her seat.

“Wait, Tabitha.”

Amelia lurked by the door for a long moment, but finally left when she realized they weren’t moving.

“What did she do this time?” Alex asked.

Tabitha shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Alex, now let’s go home.”

Alex touched her arm. “It does matter, Tabitha. Obviously it’s upset you.”

She shrugged. “I can’t talk about it.”

“Come on, Tabitha, spit it out.”

Tabitha pulled away from him and jumped to her feet. “No, Alex, I can’t—it’s too personal.”

Alex stared up at her, his expression clearly showing his frustration with her answer.

“Fine then, don’t tell me,” he replied, picking up his bag as he stood. “Let’s go.”

Tabitha trailed after him, awash with a mixture of embarrassment and regret. She felt like she’d let her friend down by refusing to reveal Amelia’s latest assault, but how could she wave a pregnancy test under Alex’s nose? He could read so much into the item, and it could destroy the comfortable companionship between them. Sex could be such a touchy issue, and not one Tabitha felt comfortable talking to Alex about.

They walked side by side to the bus in uneasy silence.

As they reached the bus shelter, Alex turned to her. “You sure you don’t want to tell me, Tabitha?”

She shook her head, cringing inside. “It’s too embarrassing, Alex, really…”

“We’re friends, Tabitha.” He sounded hurt by her refusal to fess up.

“I know, Alex, but you’re a boy.”

He stared at her for a moment then burst into raucous laughter. “A boy, is it? Well, then, that’s put me in my place.”

Tabitha felt the heat rushing up her face. “Well, a man then…” She stopped speaking and looked down at her feet, all too aware of the four years between them and wondering if at twenty-two he found her immature. Especially when she didn’t stand up to Amelia.

Alex put a finger under her chin and lifted her face so she had to look directly into his eyes. “You tie yourself up in such knots, my dear little Kitty Kat, but never mind, I gather it is a ‘girl’ thing so I’ll let you off this time, but you need to learn to trust me, Tabitha, because we’re mates.”

She nodded. “I’m glad we’re mates, Alex.”

* * * *

Tabitha fretted overnight about her parting from Alex. He had seemed okay in the end that she refused to tell, but she worried it had damaged his opinion of her. She really liked him, and wanted more than friendship, but she didn’t want to lose that either, and with him being so much older, she doubted he was interested in a kid like her.

Fortunately she was kept fairly busy all day Wednesday at the vet clinic, helping the head vet, Harriet, birth five kittens to a battered, half-starved, half-grown cat they’d found on the doorstep in the morning. The mother was in such poor condition they immediately started hand feeding the kittens to supplement what little milk the mother could supply. It was Tabitha’s job to do the feeding, toileting and general care of the kittens. She didn’t mind at all and was just grateful Harriet hadn’t been able to bring herself to euthanize the cat and her kittens, even though their presence at the clinic added to the workload. Tabitha offered to come in every spare day she had, unpaid, to care for them. Harriet agreed to Tabitha doing the daytime feeds and the staff would manage the nighttime and early-morning ones. Tabitha knew the kitten situation would be an ideal subject for her second assignment.

* * * *

Alex was back to his old self on Thursday and made no mention of Tuesday’s incident. Kayne walked slowly around the classroom and gave out the marked assignments.

“Some have done better than others, but I think in this case, it’s just laziness. You do need to apply yourselves to pass this course, folks,” Kayne stated.

Tabitha put her hands on top of the downturned paperwork. They trembled. She hesitated, afraid to turn it over. Alex turned his over.

“Hah, got a distinction,” he announced. “Go on, Tabitha, you’ll have passed,” he muttered in her ear.

She looked at him. She could hardly breathe.

“Do it, Tabitha,” Alex urged.

She picked the assignment up by the corner and flipped it over. For a brief second, she shut her eyes then opened them and looked down.

“Oh my God, I got a credit plus,” she squeaked.

Alex slapped his hand down on her work. “See? I told you so. Tell you what, I’ll take you riding on the weekend to celebrate our success.”

“I’d like that, Alex. I’m not working this weekend, so either Saturday or Sunday.”

“Make it Sunday. Aren’t we studying on Saturday? I’ll text you the details.”

“Are we ready, people?” Kayne asked impatiently from the front of the room.

Fifteen minutes before the end of the class, Amelia left the room with a mumbled, “Need the bathroom.”

She hadn’t returned by the time Tabitha packed up and slipped out of the door. Her absence made Tabitha nervous as she ran lightly down the stairs and through reception, but there was no sign of her tormentor as she left the college. As she hurried down the street toward the bus, she sensed she was being followed. She turned and found Amelia walking right behind her. Even though Amelia ignored her, the familiar twisting burn of anxiety knotted Tabitha’s stomach as she walked. At the bus stop, Amelia stood behind the shelter, seemingly completely oblivious of Tabitha, who perched on the very edge of the seat to wait for the bus.

Tabitha agonized over Amelia’s presence. What the hell was her persecutor up to now? This was no time for a confrontation, she needed to get to work. Finally, too nervous to sit still while she waited, Tabitha paced up and down in front of the shelter and cursed the lateness of the bus. If it didn’t arrive soon, she would be late, regardless of what Amelia planned. Still Amelia ignored her.

At last the bus pulled up, but as Tabitha went to board, Amelia jumped in front of her and waltzed down the aisle to the back seat. Tabitha validated her ticket and took a seat near the front. She wished she could keep an eye on Amelia, but she refused to humiliate herself by turning around to look. Petrified of what Amelia planned to do, Tabitha counted every minute of the bus journey, expecting at any moment to be attacked. Today was somehow different, because despite everything, Amelia had never followed her away from school or college before. Tabitha was convinced her nemesis had something diabolical planned. As she changed buses, Amelia switched, too, following right behind her. Still her bully said nothing. Her silent hovering seemed almost worse than the taunts.

Halfway through the journey, Tabitha couldn’t stand the impasse any longer, so she turned to face her harasser. “What’re you up to, Amelia? Just leave me alone.”

The other girl just smiled and said quietly, “Anyone’s allowed on this bus, Tubby, even someone like you.”

Tabitha felt stupid. Was she paranoid now, that she thought Amelia was always after her? She hunched down in her seat, but no matter how she tried to ignore her, Amelia’s presence burned a hole in her back.

Tabitha bolted off the bus without a backward glance and hurried across the car park, but as Tabitha entered the shopping center, she was acutely aware of Amelia strolling casually a few feet behind her. She hurried down the central mall expecting to be pounced on, but by the time Tabitha had reached Mrs. Waldrop’s shop, Amelia had disappeared.

Once she was in the shop, she began to relax and took her place behind the counter. She must really get a hold of herself and not assume Amelia was always out to get her. As soon as she was settled, Mrs. Waldrop went out to get her afternoon coffee before she retreated, as usual, to her little alcove to do the paperwork.

Tabitha dusted shelves, unpacked some boxes of delicate pepper and salt shakers and arranged them on a glass shelf, as per her employer’s instructions. There were several customers, with one lady buying up big on bone china figurines. Mrs. Waldrop came out to help Tabitha pack them. By eight, even the mall outside the shop had emptied of most of the shoppers, and Tabitha went back to cleaning. She didn’t hear her next customer come in, but at the clatter of china on the glass counter she jumped up from behind the shelves and came face to face with Amelia, along with Petra and Dawn in guard formation behind her.

Oh my God, how had Amelia found me. I haven’t told anyone I’m working here.

“Ah, I wondered when I would get some service,” Amelia drawled.

“What can I help you with?” Tabitha asked, struggling to keep the tremor out of her voice. Her skin tingled with apprehension. Amelia’s presence in the shop could only mean trouble. Oh, for goodness’ sake stop it, she probably only wants to buy something.

Amelia ran her hand over the four ornaments she had placed on the counter and tipped her head to one side. “I’m so undecided, you see. I need a gift for a special friend, and all four of these are so lovely. One of the bunnies, the butterfly or the girl. I just can’t choose.”

“Well, they’re all good bone china, and you can get sets if you buy this one,” Tabitha said as she touched the little apricot-colored rabbit holding the flowers. “The rabbits and the butterfly are only thirty-nine dollars each, but the little girl on the swing is seventy-nine ninety-five.”

“Well, money’s not a problem as it is with people like you, Tubby,” Amelia said scornfully.

Tabitha cringed at Amelia’s reference to her working-class background. Of course she hadn’t expected pleasantries from this person, but her continuous references to lack of income was humiliating.

Idly Amelia moved each of the items around the surface of the counter. The china made soft screeching noises as it slid on the glass. Totally rattled by the unspoken threat in Amelia’s actions, Tabitha pressed the little red button to summon her employer.

“Please be careful with the items, Amelia. If you break one, you will still have to pay for it,” she warned.

“Really?” Amelia taunted, her eyebrows lifted into elegant arches. “And are you going to make me?”

“Just be careful?” Tabitha pleaded.

Amelia laughed an icy cackle. “No, I thought not. And what happens if the customer doesn’t pay?”

“Then Mrs. Waldrop will have to claim on insurance or she might take it out of my wages,” Tabitha snapped back, wishing fervently Mrs. Waldrop would come before Amelia did her worst. She pressed the button again, harder this time.

“Oh dear, that is such a shame.” Amelia snickered as she slid the little girl ornament toward the edge of the counter.

“Amelia, please don’t do this. It’s wrong. You shouldn’t hurt others just because you hate me.”

Where the heck was her boss? She hardly ever left the alcove. Maybe she’d nipped out to the ladies’ without telling Tabitha.

“Don’t, Amelia.” The three girls in front of the counter all echoed Tabitha’s plea in high-pitched, childlike voices.

Amelia promptly slid the ornament farther. “Oops.” She chortled as it tipped off the edge and fell to the floor. The crash of shattering bone china echoed, sharp and loud, through the shop. Pieces scuttled everywhere across the tiled floor. “Oh dear, looks like you’ve had an accident,” Amelia said loudly.

“Amelia, you did it and you’ll have to pay for it,” Tabitha said as forcefully as she could manage. A wave of nausea washed over her.

Amelia scooped up her bag, swung it over her shoulder and began to march out of the shop. “You and what army, Tubby Tabby? You’re so gutless you couldn’t even kill a fly. Such a pathetic wuss. You can’t make me do anything.”

“Maybe she can’t, but I can, young lady.” Mrs. Waldrop’s hand latched onto Amelia’s shoulder. “That will be seventy-nine dollars and ninety-five cents.”

“Like hell, old lady—she did it. Tubby’s always clumsy,” Amelia accused, pointing in Tabitha’s direction.

“You’re responsible, young lady—if one can call you such. You will pay. Now give your card to Tabitha. She will process the payment,” Mrs. Waldrop replied.

“Get your hands off me, you old bag,” Amelia yelled, pulling away.

But Mrs. Waldrop held her shoulder in a viselike grip. “Tabitha, call the police, please, and shopping center security.”

Now Amelia really squirmed against her imprisonment. “I haven’t done anything wrong. I didn’t steal anything,” she protested.

“You will pay for the item you willfully broke, or I will have you charged with destroying property—or some such misdemeanor. You will then have a record, young lady, and I’m sure your parents will not be pleased.”

For the first time ever, Tabitha saw fear in Amelia’s face.

She struggled again against the older woman’s restraint. “All right, I’ll pay. There’s no need to call my parents or the police. I’ll pay. Here.” She threw her card on the counter.

Mrs. Waldrop still held her shoulder.

Dawn and Petra fled the scene, leaving their fearless leader to her fate. As Tabitha held out the EFTPOS machine to Amelia so she could enter her PIN, she glimpsed the glisten of tears in her bully’s eyes. She felt a fiery sense of satisfaction to see Amelia caught out in her nastiness, but she suspected from Amelia’s reaction her parents scared her more than the cops.

With the money paid, Mrs. Waldrop escorted Amelia to the door. “Now, young lady, I never want to see you in my shop again. You take your friends and conduct your shenanigans elsewhere. I do not tolerate it.”

“You old bat. We wouldn’t want to come back here anyway,” Amelia snarled as she shook Mrs. Waldrop’s hand from her shoulder and stomped out across the mall.

“Now, Tabitha, can you clean up the mess? Then we will close early, I think we’ve both had enough for one night.”

With the shop back in order and the surviving ornaments safely returned to their rightful shelves, Tabitha collected her bag before she helped her boss lock the doors.

“Come on, young lady. I’ll give you a lift home tonight. You look a little shaken.”

* * * *

Of course, Tabitha had to explain to her startled parents why she’d been given a lift home.

Her father was livid. “How dare she go to your place of employment? I’ve a good mind to speak to her parents. This persecution has to stop.”

“Dad, just leave it, okay? You can’t do anything. Nobody can,” Tabitha wailed.

He must have sensed her desperation, how close she was to cracking, for he turned to Mrs. Waldrop and thanked her for her kindness.

Tabitha retreated to her bed—the one place she felt safe. She lay for a long time in the dark, reliving the humiliating scene at the shop. Her work had always been a safe place, but now her space had been violated. Mrs. Waldrop wouldn’t tolerate any more episodes like tonight and Tabitha felt so responsible for the unpleasant incident and deeply resentful of the invasion of her personal space. And there was nothing to stop her turning up at the vet clinic and causing some sort of debacle there. The ache in Tabitha’s heart was almost physical, it hurt so much. She wanted to howl, scream or smash something—anything to protest this torture, to protest her own inability to protect herself, to fight back, to get Amelia off her case. An undercurrent of anger also simmered inside at the failure of the adults to protect her, or to give her strategies that worked—really worked. She’d tried all the tactics purported to be the way to handle a bully and the reality was none of them had much effect, especially with a persistent bully like Amelia.

She thought then of the tears she had seen hiding in her nemesis’s eyes. It had not occurred to her that Amelia was afraid of something—so afraid she could be brought to tears by its mention. She’d never had anything to do with Amelia’s family and couldn’t remember having seen her parents at school functions, helping out with excursions or reading in class. For that matter, she wondered now if they had even been at the fateful ballet concert that had started Amelia’s vendetta against her. Amelia’s parents had definitely not fought for her right to be a fairy like her own mother had. All Tabitha knew about Amelia’s family was she had three older brothers and her father was chief executive officer of some big company. They had plenty of money, apparently.

The thoughts slipped away—she didn’t have head space for Amelia’s issues right now. Somehow she had to get her head around Amelia’s ability to destroy her equilibrium. Tabitha was weary—in fact exhausted—of always being on the lookout, constantly on the defensive. Of wilting under the unrelenting burden of humiliation she carried around day and night. Most mornings she struggled with the prospect of facing another battle. Even when Amelia was not right there in her face, Tabitha wrestled with self-preservation. She kept her guard up all the time, distancing herself from people just in case they decided to insult her. Most often those insults didn’t come, but Tabitha remained wary.

She jumped when her phone beeped on the bedside table. Instead of being an enjoyable communication device, the phone had become a source of torment all its own. She couldn’t bring herself to turn it off and lose contact with her social network, but its presence brought Amelia right in her pocket every time it beeped, even if it wasn’t one of her demeaning texts. As she read the message, the tension flowed out of her—it was Jaclyn inviting her to catch up at the Plaza Friday afternoon.

She messaged back, making the catch-up for lunch as she had to come back and feed the kittens in the afternoon. Another small life raft to cling to—to get her through another day. But despite these highlights, Tabitha was sinking. Like the Titanic, holed by bullying and filling fast with misery, self-loathing and inadequacy. She was acutely aware that out of that hole also poured all that made her Tabitha—her compassion, her sense of humor, her love of life and her rapport with animals. Soon there would be nothing left but an empty shell. Tabitha didn’t want to be dead inside. Alex wouldn’t be interested in her if she was dead inside. In the quiet darkness of her room, she decided she could not live as a victim, always on the defensive, but she couldn’t come up with any workable solution to her problem.

* * * *

She liked Jaclyn and tried to put a positive front on as she met her by the bus interchange. They walked to the Plaza and found a quiet corner in the food court. It was pretty busy so it took a while to get served, but finally each with their favorite food, they settled down to catch up. For a while they talked about their study and their respective successes with their first assignments.

Jaclyn suddenly leaned closer to Tabitha. “Tabitha, I’m your friend, right?”

Tabitha smiled in agreement.

“I’ve heard whispers at college, about you and Alex. That Petra girl is friends with Melody, in my class. She’s been saying you’re…” Jaclyn looked down and fiddled with the wrappers from her food. Her face flushed pink when she looked back up at Tabitha. “They’re saying you’re a slut, and you’re pregnant to Alex.”

Tabitha stared at Jaclyn. Speech refused to form as a terrible numbness took hold of her mind. Jaclyn reached out and touched her hand, but Tabitha snatched it away from her friend’s consoling touch. She clenched her two hands together to hide the trembling.

“I am not… I have not…Alex is only a friend,” she stuttered.

“I knew it was a lie, but I thought you should know what they’re saying,” Jaclyn replied.

Now Tabitha reached out to Jaclyn. “It’s all right, Jaclyn, it’s not your fault.”

“That Amelia girl is such a bitch. She really has it in for you,” Jaclyn announced.

Tabitha shrugged. “Since I was five…” Tabitha’s words faded as tears threatened to overwhelm her. How could she live with this new embarrassment and his? Poor Alex. She didn’t care so much for herself, she was used to being insulted, but Alex was a different matter. Surely he was going to run a mile now—even from being friends. And I don’t blame him one bit.

“Come on, let’s go round to that shop with the costume jewelry. I heard they’re having a sale and they’ve got some great stuff.”

Tabitha dredged up a smile. “Sure, why not. I might even buy myself something.”

“A bit of bling to cheer you up,” Jaclyn said.

Together they browsed the racks.

“Here, look at this. It would suit that blue jumper you wore last week.”

Tabitha smiled and took the necklace Jaclyn proffered. “It will. Does it have earrings to match?”

Two racks down they found a pair of blue earrings. Tabitha took them while Jaclyn took a green pair with gold trimmings. After they’d paid for their purchases, they went for a milkshake.

“You’re not mad at me, about the gossip?”

Tabitha shook her head. “No, of course not. I’m just worried what Alex will think. It’s embarrassing.”

Jaclyn nodded. “It is, but he’s not some kid—isn’t he a bit older than us?”

“Quite a bit and that makes it worse—he’s just going to think we’re all immature.”

Jaclyn smiled. “You like him, don’t you?”

Heat rushed into Tabitha’s face. She peered deeply into her milkshake.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. I think he’s a lovely guy and good looking.”

Tabitha looked at her new friend. “He is, but he’s never going to see me as an equal—not now, with that ghastly rumor going around.”

Jaclyn reached out and touched her hand. “Try not to get too stressed, see what happens.”

“It’s so unfair. Anyway, Jac, I’d better go and feed these kittens. You don’t want one, do you?”

Jaclyn shook her head as she stood to go. “No, Mom thinks the dog is more than enough.”

* * * *

Tabitha stewed about the ugly rumor and her study session with Alex, right up until he walked in the door and chucked his books on the table. They went together and fed the kittens. Tabitha could hardly keep her eyes off Alex as he nursed the tiny little furballs, making sure they sucked their milk and wiping their bottoms after. He was so spunky, all six foot two of his lean frame. His red tee clung to his muscular chest and his tanned arms were exposed by the short sleeves. His dark hair hung down over his forehead as he watched a kitten feed, his long legs stretched out, his sneakered feet resting on a box.

He looked across at her and smiled. “They’re so tiny, cute. Their eyes aren’t even open yet,” he said, holding his up to inspect it.

“Yeah they’re cute, but they can really make a racket when they’re hungry. I hope Harriett can find homes for them. She said she would desex and vaccinate them before they were adopted.”

“Maybe I could take one to the stables. Fred’s always complaining of mice in the hay shed,” Alex suggested.

“What about the horses? Wouldn’t they tread on it?” Tabitha asked.

Alex looked across at her. “Nah. We had a cat before, it died of old age. Some of the horses really liked that old cat, and I would be there every day to look after it.”

“Okay. I’d like to take one home too, but we already have a cat and I don’t think Dad would approve. Anyway, we’ve finished here, best get back home to the study.”

“Definitely, you’ve got to top that credit plus with your second assignment.”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

Alex grinned down at her as he held the car door open. “No maybe about it. You’re going to make a great vet nurse.

Warm sensation washed over her. It was nice that Alex believed in her and she didn’t want to let him down. I will pass this course—not just for him but for me.

* * * *

As they settled at the table, Alex fiddled with his books before he looked up. “Tabitha, there’s been rumors about you, well, about us, actually, going around the college.”

Tabitha’s face began to burn. “I know, Jaclyn told me yesterday. I’m sorry, Alex, that you’ve been targeted. It’s so embarrassing, I’ll understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.” Her throat tightened as she strangled her tears down. She didn’t want to lose Alex as her friend, but she needed to give him an out. It was only fair, for Amelia’s spite toward Tabitha was not his problem.

He laughed then. “Come on, we both know it’s not true. So I get a bit of stick from a couple of my less mature mates, so what? We’re friends, and friends don’t pike over a bit of nasty gossip. I just brought it up to make sure we’re good.”

Tabitha silently stared at Alex. She could hardly comprehend his attitude. Her heart fluffed up and thumped with an irregular beat of joy.

“Smile, Tabitha. We’re good, yes?”

She nodded and smiled. “Yes, Alex, we’re good.”

Tabitha squashed down her own discomfort when Alex didn’t show any and they worked through the assignment, bouncing ideas back and forth until they both had good drafts finished.

It wasn’t until after Alex left that doubts began to creep in. Of course he wasn’t upset about the rumor. None of his mates would believe it anyway—him dating a kid like her. They would all probably just find it amusing. It was best they remained just friends, and anyway the gossip would blow over eventually. She would hug her fledgling feelings for Alex to herself and enjoy his friendship. She desperately hoped she wouldn’t make a fool of herself when they went riding. Excitement and nervousness harried her until she fell asleep, exhausted.

* * * *

With her second assignment finished, Tabitha didn’t have a guilty conscience as they saddled the horses.

Alex came around and stood by her horse. “Up you go, Tabitha.”

She looked at the stirrup then back at Alex. She wasn’t sure how to manage the mount with any dignity.

Alex grinned. “It’s a long way up, here. I’ll give you a leg up.”

Tabitha looked at his cupped hands in horror. He expected her to step into his hands and climb up into the saddle. She was no lightweight and was immediately self-conscious, but without making a fuss, there was no way out.

She lifted her foot and placed it in his hands then, gripping the saddle, she hopped and tried to get high enough to swing her leg over.

Then she was tumbling. Alex’s hands were gone and she thumped hard with both feet onto the ground, stumbling and losing her balance. Alex grabbed her shoulders and steadied her as she fell against his chest. Her breasts were squashed against his hard muscles and his scent wafted over her.

“Oops,” he muttered in her ear, making no attempt to push her away.

“Sorry, Alex,” she murmured into his shoulder, trying to hide the flaming humiliation that heated her face.

“Ah, my fault, didn’t give you enough of a boost,” he said.

She looked up into his smiling eyes and found herself drowning in the dark depths. Awareness of their closeness washed over her. For a split second, they stood unmoving, him stared down into her eyes and Tabitha, transfixed, stared up into his.

With a sudden rush of nerves, Tabitha pushed away from him, breaking the spell. She struggled to breathe evenly as she turned back to the horse. Alex didn’t say anything, just held out his cupped hands again. This time, with a good boost from Alex, Tabitha landed with the slightest of bumps in the saddle. Alex immediately took her hands and placed them correctly on the reins.

“How’s that, Tabitha?” he asked as he smiled up at her, his hand moving from hers down to rest on her thigh.

Tabitha settled in the saddle, trying to ignore the sizzling warmth from his palm through her leggings. She felt all warm and fuzzy inside. “All good, Alex.”

His hand slipped away and a moment later he popped up into the saddle of the second horse. They rode at a walk down the driveway and through the gate into a large, flat paddock.

“How do you feel, Tabitha? Secure?” Alex asked.

“This is great,” she said, smiling across at him.

Her body was still tingling with awareness from his closeness, and as she rode she admired him, how easy and relaxed he was in the saddle, almost moving as one with the horse. Tabitha thought he should have had a stockman’s whip on the saddle and an Akubra hat instead of the helmet on his head. She wondered if he had been affected like she had when she fell against him. He hadn’t pushed her away, and she had thought for a moment he might kiss her. Part of her had wanted him to kiss her, the other part had been terrified it might actually happen. Then again, maybe he wasn’t interested in kissing her at all. Maybe she’d imagined it because she wanted him to.

Under Alex’s guidance she learned how to trot, and as they moved up a steady slope, he encouraged her to canter. It was exhilarating, with the horse moving under her, the thud of the hooves and the wind in her face. Alex pulled up on the crest.

He grinned. “It’s good, isn’t it?” he asked.

“I’m really enjoying myself,” she replied.

Alex turned his horse and headed over the crest and Tabitha followed him as he rode down the other side of the hill and into a small gully overhung with huge white gum trees. He dismounted and tied up his horse. Tabitha followed suit. Her legs felt funny, almost numb as she went to step forward and nearly lost her balance.

Alex chuckled as he grabbed her arm. “Got a sore bum, have we?”

“It’s not funny, Alex,” Tabitha grumbled, giving his arm a slap.

He laughed out loud now. “Oh, come on, I’ll help you,” he said, immediately wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.

Overcome with a rush of shyness, Tabitha fought the urge to protest his assistance and allowed him to embrace her waist as they walked slowly down the slope. It was shady and cool under the trees by the stream that gurgled cheerfully over the narrow, rocky bed.

Alex turned to face her. “What do you think, Tabitha? This is one of my favorite places.”

She looked up at him, acutely aware that his hand still rested on her waist. “It’s beautiful, and peaceful.”

He looked down at her, his gaze focused first on her eyes, then her mouth. He moved closer. His scent wafted and intermingled with her flowery perfume. An intoxicating mix. His eyes were dark and soft, his mouth curved up into a smile. He slid his hands up her arms, across her shoulders, and cupped her face. His thumbs lightly caressed along her jawbone. She stood, fixated by him. Warmth radiated through her from where his hands touched her and her stomach turned dizzying somersaults. As his face filled her view, she let her eyes slide closed. She held her breath as she sensed his closeness. Then his mouth touched hers, so light it almost wasn’t there. Her breath jerked and stuttered, every nerve ending dancing. Then he was moving back from her, only a small distance. Oh my God, he’d kissed her. Her first kiss. Oh my God. Tabitha stared up at him. She didn’t know what to do, or say. She felt all warm and fuzzy.

He smiled down at her before he dove in and dropped a lightning-quick kiss on the tip of her nose. “My beautiful Tabitha,” he said.

“I’m not beautiful, silly,” Tabitha replied.

Alex frowned. “You are so, and I don’t want to hear you say that again, okay?” he admonished as he held out his hand.

Tabitha wrinkled her nose. “I promise,” she said as she clasped his hand and they walked slowly along the stream. They practiced skimming flat rocks across a still pool and Alex tried to tickle a trout they saw. All his efforts got him was wet. He took his tee off and tucked it in his belt and Tabitha couldn’t keep her eyes off his buff body.

Back at the horses, after he had put his tee back on, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her again, a little more firmly and longer this time. Tabitha tingled all over. She liked the taste of him, the gentle caress of his lips against hers and the feel of his arms holding her close. Then he put her from him and looked directly into her eyes. “I think I like kissing you, Tabitha,” he said softly.

She smiled. “I like it too,” she said, her face warming with a wave of shyness.

Alex grinned. “Good,” he said. “Do you need a leg up?”

With them both mounted, Alex pointed to the tree at the top of the rise. “I’ll race ya,” he shouted and took off up the hill.

* * * *

She had gone in early to feed the kittens, missed the bus and was running late for class. Kayne had already started when she slipped into her seat beside Alex. Kayne waited a moment for her to get settled, but didn’t say anything.

Alex frowned and mouthed, “Kittens?”

She nodded.

Amelia kept her distance during lunch, but when Jaclyn went to leave Amelia, Petra and Melody followed her. Tabitha immediately felt uneasy.

“I’m going to check on Jaclyn,” Tabitha said as she jumped out of her chair. Alex was right behind her when she pushed her way through the door. The corridor was empty. Tabitha hurried up the stairs in the direction of Jaclyn’s afternoon class.

She had reached the second landing before she heard their voices. The three girls surrounded Jaclyn. They were pushing her and crowding her.

“You don’t need Fishbait for a mate, Jaclyn. That loser is bad for your reputation,” Amelia sneered.

“Tabitha’s my friend,” Jaclyn cried.

They crowded close and jostled her again. “Wrong answer, Jaclyn,” Amelia snarled close to Jaclyn’s face.

“Leave me alone, you’re all vicious bitches,” Jaclyn yelled, trying to escape their enclosure.

“Awww, she has a temper,” Amelia screeched.

Side by side, Alex and Tabitha raced down the passage.

“Back off, you lot,” Alex shouted.

Amelia looked over her shoulder.

“Leave her alone, Amelia,” Tabitha cried, grabbing at her tormentor’s shoulder.

“Now here’s trouble--the cavalry has arrived. Let’s go, girls, we’ll deal with Little Miss Jaclyn later.”

“Don’t even think about it, you three, or else,” Alex threatened.

Amelia laughed, a sharp, high bark that ended abruptly as she leaned into Tabitha’s face. “You’ll pay for this, Fishbait,” she snarled.

Tabitha slapped out with both hands, but Amelia was already out of her reach, following her cohorts back down the stairs. Tabitha and Alex escorted Jaclyn to her class. She didn’t say much, but brushed off Tabitha’s apologies and hurriedly pushed through the door into her classroom.

“Poor Jaclyn. There was no reason for Amelia to pick on her,” Tabitha moaned.

“No. Poor girl looked terrified,” Alex said.

“She was and she wouldn’t accept my apologies. Maybe she won’t want to be friends anymore. And I wouldn’t blame her either.”

Alex hugged her. “Hey, don’t go jumping to conclusions. Now come on, we have assignments to submit.”

Amelia and her mates were already seated, heads bent over pages. Tabitha felt a real sense of pleasure to slip into her seat without harassment. Kayne immediately began on the new section, refusing to take any questions about the assignment, saying it was too late. She looked across at Alex and grinned. He patted his assignment and grinned back.

The subject matter was complicated and Kayne handed out a booklet with extra information. Tabitha’s head was spinning and she was glad when the afternoon class finished ten minutes early because Kayne was called to the office. She went up and put her assignment with the others on the front desk as instructed. Alex put his on top, then Leo.

Amelia was still fiddling around with Dawn by the printer, trying to get their assignments finished. Leo and Alex both walked with her to the bus.

* * * *

Still riding on a high from the previous day because Harriet had offered her another day once a fortnight at the clinic, Tabitha bounced into the classroom and claimed her desk. She was barely seated when Kayne called her into his office. His handsome face was marred by a frown that drew his eyebrows down and made deep furrows above his nose. Tabitha felt that familiar acid burn of fear in her stomach. What the hell have I done to make him mad?

“Tabitha, I’m very disappointed with you. I want a very good reason why you failed to hand in your assignment Tuesday.”

“But I did hand it in, Kayne, just before I left class,” she protested. “You’d gone to the office.” Every nerve ending stabbed her and her gut lurched and clenched. Where was her assignment?

“Well, it’s not here, Tabitha. You know failure to hand in on time, without an official extension, is an automatic fail,” Kayne said. There was a no-nonsense firmness to his tone.

“But I handed it in. I put it with all the others.” She was almost wailing by this time.

“Then why don’t I have it? I don’t want to fail you, Tabitha, but the rules are—”

“I can’t fail. I can’t, and I did hand it in,” she replied, wringing her hands in front of her.

“If you can prove it—”

Tabitha cut him off. “I can. Ask Alex and Leo. They put theirs on top of mine, and we left the college together. Amelia and a couple of the girls were still here, mucking around with the printer.”

“Ask Alex to come in, please,” Kayne instructed, but he didn’t look happy.

She did, then sat at her desk with her bag still zipped. The sniggering behind her seemed loud and harsh, but she was too afraid to look around—afraid she would leap out of her chair, charge at Amelia and scratch her eyes out. She huffed at herself. Yeah, right. As if I’d have the courage. It was obvious to her that Amelia was the only one who would have taken her assignment.

Alex returned to his seat and Leo was called into the office. He reached out and squeezed her hand. “It’ll be okay, Kitty Kat,” he whispered.

Half the class time was over when Kayne grudgingly gave her permission to reprint her assignment and hand it directly to him. As he took it, he warned her she would be docked forty-five percent of the overall mark. She could still pass, but that was all, no matter how good her assignment actually was. Gutted by the unfairness of it, a righteous anger seethed inside, especially when Kayne dismissed her suggestion that Amelia might know about her missing assignment. He advised her to always hand her assignments directly to him in the future, just in case they got lost. He made no attempt to take the issue further.

Tabitha couldn’t hide her tears from Alex when she returned to her desk after resubmitting her assignment. He tried to comfort her and she was grateful for his efforts, but she was beyond consoling. She’d worked so hard.

“Do you want me to take you home, Tabitha?” he asked softly.

She shook her head. “No thanks, neither of us can afford to miss this stuff, it’s complicated.”

“You sure? I can hear her sniggering back there.”

Tabitha looked up at him through tear-filled eyes. “Let her snigger, I’m not going to run away.”

Alex squeezed her hand. “Good one, Kitty Kat. You know you’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

She sniffed. “I don’t feel strong.”

He squeezed her hand again and turned back to the lecture.

But it wasn’t until Alex had left her at the bus stop that the real coldness of reality settled in her soul. The reality that Amelia could make her fail. Locked in her own misery, she muddled through the process of feeding the kittens, not lingering to cuddle them as she normally did, and she was glad to find her mother out when she finally shut the door behind her and stomped up the passage to the sanctuary of her room.

* * * *

The shrill ring of her phone tore her from sleep. With a shaky hand, she reached out to grab it, but by the time she put it to her ear, the caller had hung up. Tabitha looked at the time—three a.m. She didn’t need to see the number to know who it was. With a sigh of resignation, she turned her phone off and lay back down, already sinking into a black hole of misery. Damn Amelia. Her sense of self and what little confidence she had was gradually being eroded by the constant tap, tap of Amelia’s bullying. She felt isolated from her ‘crowd’ because she wasn’t game to go on Facebook or any of the other social media sites, but her greatest fear was that Alex would get sick of the constant barrage of insults and the way she crept around. He told her often she had to stand up for herself and she tried, but the torment continued. She didn’t know how long she could go on doing this.

Her sleep was light and broken as she tossed and turned, alternating between bad dreams dominated by Amelia and lying awake, fretting about her future. By dawn she’d had enough of pretending to sleep and, ignoring her burning eyes and aching muscles, climbed out of bed and went for a walk. When she returned she felt more awake, but no more prepared to face the onslaught of text messages that had flooded her phone during the night. If it weren’t for Alex and Jaclyn contacting her, she would turn the damn thing off and leave it off. She braced herself to open the first one.

Don’t think that was the end of it, Fishbait, you smelly slut She cringed at the cruel words. There were fifty from the same number. She deleted the remainder without opening them. Not that it helped, for she already knew what each contained, and it hurt just knowing they had once existed, and while she didn’t intend for the cruelty to sap her energy, it did. She wished she had not agreed to do an extra shift at Mrs. Waldrop’s. But with Alex away at a country race meeting all weekend, it was a chance to add to her car savings.

When the shop phone rang, she picked it up. “Mrs. Waldrop’s Unique Gifts, Tabitha speaking.”

The heavy breathing coming down the line sent shivers down her skin.

“Mrs. Waldrop’s Unique Gifts, Tabitha speaking. Can I help you?”

There was a peal of raucous laughter and the click of the phone being disconnected.

“Who was that, Tabitha?”

Tabitha smiled. “Just a wrong number, Mrs. Waldrop.”

Her employer nodded.

The phone rang again. Tabitha jumped in nervous anticipation. She picked up the phone. “Mrs. Waldrop’s Unique Gifts, Tabitha speaking. Can I help you?”

Again the loud, almost hysterical cackling rattled in her ear Tabitha quietly put the phone down.

Mrs. Waldrop looked over at her. “Again?” she asked.

Tabitha nodded.

“Wretched people—too lazy to look up the correct number,” Mrs. Waldrop snapped.

Tabitha had just finished wrapping a gift selection for a regular customer when the phone shrilled again. Tabitha jumped, almost dropping her parcel. She handed the item to the customer and smiled goodbye before she picked up the receiver.

“Mrs. Waldrop’s Unique Gifts, Tabitha speaking. Can I help you?”

“She mad yet, Fishbait?” Amelia asked, then began to laugh.

Mrs. Waldrop’s hand closed over the phone. “I’ll take this, Tabitha,” she said.

Tabitha let go of the phone and stepped back, anxiety tearing her to shreds as she heard Amelia’s laughter echo out of the hand piece.

“I think that is sufficient, you nasty little troublemaker. Another call and I’ll have the police onto you and your parents. I have your details.”

Tabitha heard the phone crash down on the other end of the line.

Mrs. Waldrop turned to Tabitha, her mouth pursed into a thin line. “Tabitha, I realize this is not your fault, but if there is one more incident like that, I will have to let you go. I’m sorry, but my nerves just won’t stand it.”

Tabitha stared at her employer, the sting of tears burning her eyeballs. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Waldrop, I haven’t encouraged her. Please don’t sack me.”

Mrs. Waldrop shook her head. “You haven’t discouraged her either, Tabitha. You need to get this girl off your back. I’m really sorry, you’re an excellent worker, and an honest young woman, but I just cannot be expected to cope with such harassment.”

“I know, Mrs. Waldrop, but I just don’t know what to do.”

“You will need to figure it out, Tabitha. You have one more chance, only because I like you, but after that, I’m sorry. I won’t say any more about it for now so I suggest you get on with dusting the back shelves while I rearrange the window display.”

Tabitha nodded. “Yes, Mrs. Waldrop,” she said as she picked up the dusting cloth. She fought back the tears that filled her eyes. Her heart raced at the thought of losing this job, especially as she had worked so hard to be the best employee. She took her time, being extra careful with the dainty bone china crockery, aware her trembling hands could lose their grip without warning.

She sagged with relief when she finally knocked off and caught the bus. She turned her phone on. There was a list of messages and her voicemail was full. She looked at the first message, knowing it was from Amelia.

Did you get busted, Fishbait? The old bag sounded mad.

Tears ran down her cheeks as she deleted the rest of the messages, knowing they would all be the same. She didn’t even listen to her voicemail, just deleted all but the two from Alex. She opened up the first.

“Hey, Kitty Kat, guess you’re working. Just letting you know all is good, both boys won their starts. Boss is pleased. See you soon.”

Her breath caught in her throat at the sound of his voice. She wished he was with her. She opened up the second.

“Great place, Lincoln, need to save up and come for a holiday. See you Tuesday, Kitty Kat.”

There was no stopping the tears as they poured down her cheeks. How would she save up if she lost her job? A dark hole started to grow inside her. Part of her was shriveling up and dying. In a desperate attempt to hold herself together, she turned inward, berating her cowardice, telling herself she was useless. It’s my own fault my job is at risk and my assignment got lost. I should have been more careful around Amelia. And if I don’t watch it and get my shit together, I’ll lose Alex. Probably will anyway because I’m not smart enough, pretty enough or confident enough.

By the time the bus slid to a standstill at her stop, she was almost choking on her own misery, whimpering and hiccupping as she walked up the street. At the front gate, she sniffed inelegantly and wiped her tears away, determined not to upset her parents. This wasn’t their battle, and as much as Alex was supportive, it wasn’t his concern either. The answer was somewhere inside her, if only she could find it.

With a bright smile plastered on her face, she joined her parents in the garden for a barbecue tea. She didn’t say anything about the incident at Mrs. Waldrop’s or the threat to her job. Time enough for that if it happened. But by the time they cleared away the dishes, she was beyond making light conversation and claimed a headache. It was easier to say she was ill than try to explain her mixed-up thoughts and fears. She was afraid to tell her parents she was sick and tired of trying to live.

* * * *

Humiliation and numbing fatigue clutched at her as she dressed, packed her bag and went down to breakfast Tuesday morning.

Her mom frowned at her as she slumped low in her chair. “Tabitha, are you feeling better? Are you well enough to go today, seeing you’ve been in bed since Sunday evening?” she asked.

“I’m fine, Mom,” Tabitha mumbled.

“Then eat up and get a wriggle on, or you’ll miss your bus.”

Tabitha stared at the bowl of cereal and felt sick. She couldn’t face it so she pushed it away. “I’m off, Mom.”

“What about breakfast?”

“Not hungry,” she shouted, letting the door slam behind her.

Her mother’s stunned silence, and disapproval, clung to her all the way to the bus. Tabitha hunched down in her seat, her bag hugged to her chest. She should have been buzzing with energy, for they were finally having a hands-on session with the local animal shelter on Thursday, but she couldn’t draw herself out from under the heavy black cloud of misery that had attached itself to her after the first phone call at Mrs. Waldrop’s.

Even as she got off the bus outside the college, she hesitated for a moment to conduct a furious debate with herself. Should she go, or cut class and just catch the bus straight home? Could she face the inevitable harassment that was coming? But something strong still hung on inside, and drawing on that, she turned and hurried to the college.

She sensed Amelia behind. She walked faster, but moments later Amelia grabbed her shoulder, halting her forward movement and almost hauling her off her feet.

“Wait up, Fishbait.”

Tabitha tried to pull away. “We have nothing to talk about, Amelia. Let me go or we’ll be late for class.”

“Awww, come on now, Fishbait. I just wanted to ask if the old duck was as mad as hell on Sunday. I bet she sacked ya.”

Tabitha ripped herself free of Amelia’s clutching fingers. “No, she didn’t actually—she knew who to blame.”

“Really. Well, well, we’ll have to do something about that.”

Tabitha struggled with her tears. “Leave me alone, Amelia. Stay away from Mrs. Waldrop’s shop.”

“Can’t make me, Fishbait. I might just pay a visit on Thursday night.”

“Why are you doing this, Amelia? What’ve I ever done to you?”

“Plenty, bitch, and you’re gonna pay for it.”

Tabitha turned away from her bully and almost ran toward the classroom, with Amelia’s strident laughter bouncing off the walls of the corridor, mocking her fear.

She was panting as she slipped into her seat beside Alex.

“You okay, Tabitha?”

She nodded, already withering inside as she lied to Alex by omission, but it was just too humiliating to tell him she was about to lose her job because she couldn’t stand up to Amelia. She was terrified he would think she was such a wuss.

It was a complicated lecture looking at infection-control policies and procedures in preparation for their hands-on session on Thursday.

“Okay, guys, there will be an assessment at the end of the day and it is mandatory to pass or you cannot attend the session at the animal sanctuary.”

As Kayne packed up the projector, Alex looked at her and grinned.

“Well, what did you think, Tabitha? You should be used to some of that from working at the clinic,” he said.

“Not too bad actually. We use most of those policies and procedures at the clinic,” she replied.

“Yes, we use some of them at the stables—boss does not like cross infection if one horse gets sick.” Alex began stuffing his materials in his bag. “I’ve promised to take Leo down to pick up his car. I should be back in about an hour. Shall I meet you in the caf?”

Tabitha carefully hid her disappointment, because she had no intention of explaining to Alex why she didn’t really want to be alone today. “Yeah, I’ll get the table by the window if I can.”

“Okay, see you soon.”

She watched the two guys leave then finished packing up her stuff. A chair scraped on the floor right behind her, but before she could stand up and escape, Amelia was leaning over her.

“You’re gonna get sacked,” she whispered in Tabitha’s ear.

Tabitha flinched and sat perfectly still, unable to voice a response as she struggled to hold back her tears. Damn, damn, damn. For God’s sake, bugger off, Amelia.

“You know, don’t you? You’re gonna get sacked,” Amelia said again, dragging the word ‘sacked’ out to double its length.

Tabitha leaped out of the chair, shot Amelia a glare and ran out of the classroom.

Amelia was right behind her. “You’re gonna get sacked,” she called after Tabitha as she hurried down the steps to the café.

In the café, she claimed the window table and bought food. Just the smell of it brought on a wave of nausea. Tabitha pushed it aside and opened her lecture notes. She began to read, but the text on the page didn’t make sense. She read and reread the same paragraph. It wasn’t sinking in. She kept looking up and glancing around the room. Despite the fact that she couldn’t see Amelia, she could almost feel the cruel tentacles of her taunts wrapping themselves around her. Digging into her—scattering her mind and scrambling her brain. She hunched down over her books, but immediately berated herself. What an idiot. Do you think you can hide, disappear because you huddle down? Nobody is going to miss seeing you, fatty. You’re too big to hide unless you got a barn.

She glanced around the café again. No Amelia. Then she saw Dawn and Petra in the opposite corner and at the same moment, she sensed someone was standing behind her.

“You’re gonna get sacked, Tubby Tabby,” Amelia sang in a droning voice right next to her ear, then waltzed off before Tabitha could reply.

Tabitha just sat there, frozen in her own miserable nightmare. When she finally turned and looked at her tormentor, Amelia just raised her bottle of drink in a mocking salute to her. Tabitha immediately turned away, wishing she hadn’t looked in the first place.

“Great, you got food for me,” Alex said as he slipped into the seat opposite her and reached for her unopened roll.

Leo plonked himself down in the other spare chair. “Anyone want anything?” he asked.

Tabitha shook her head. “No, I’m all good, thanks, Leo.”

As Leo left, Alex leaned forward. “She been giving you shit then?”

Tabitha nodded. “Just the usual.”

“Smile, Kitty Kat, just ignore the bitch,” Alex urged.

Tabitha gave an insipid smile. “I’m trying, but she makes it hard.”

“Yeah, she does, but you have to be tougher,” Alex said, then bit into the roll and munched enthusiastically.

While the boys ate, they went through the lecture notes, determined to be ready for the assessment. None of them wanted to miss out on the best part of the course—a hands-on session.

Dawn was the only one who failed and Kayne gave her a chance to sit the assessment again if she came in early on Thursday morning. Leo and Alex both walked Tabitha to the bus and she felt a little mollified by their joint success as she watched them head off to the car park through the rear window of the bus. Thursday was going to be fun.