Gilded

Every cut of the fabric, every color, every fit…absolutely perfect. Nothing left to chance, from design to presentation, every name on the guest list carefully selected to either spread the word or invest a fortune. My reputation had drawn them to the fashion show with coveted personal invites, but many faces in the crowd belonged to those who’d love to see me fail.

A shame I’d have to disappoint them. Despite the risk involved, this new venture was already a success. The clothing line I’d almost eliminated now the potential crown jewel, set to make my company stand out in the fashion industry.

But it, like too many things lately, was out of my control.

Which left me standing on the sidelines as the arrogant vultures swarmed vulnerable prey. Not that I’d remain here if there was a hint that they’d cause real damage, but I’d do a fair bit myself if I hovered.

“He’ll be fine.” Luther leaned close as he handed me another glass of champagne, his tone the low, soothing one that tempted me to surrender the power I’d always craved. His lips brushed my ear as he whispered, “I believe he’s earned a reward for a job well done.”

Sipping the Nicolas Feuillatte champagne I’d been gifted and opened for this special occasion, I kept my expression carefully neutral as Alexander Tremaine, the assistant director for the junior line of Ashburne Style and Media Company, made his way through the crowd filling the ostentatiously glitzed up hotel ballroom. The young man had just turned twenty, and really had no business with the position he held, but being the owner gave me the advantage of not giving a fuck what anyone thought.

Alexander had proven himself invaluable in how well he related to the members of my staff. Yes, he was learning much about the fashion business—between school and simple hands-on experience—but it would take years before he developed the skills required. However, his fearlessness when he strode into my office and shared the ideas of my employees was why I’d ignored the typical hierarchy of management and placed him where I needed him most.

The place I wanted him was on his knees, but that could wait until we got home.

“He’s earned much, but if you don’t stop looking at him like you want to bend him over the closest table and fuck him, our peers may question exactly how he earned it.” I smirked against the lip of my glass as Luther tore his gaze from Alexander and frowned at me. “His only rule, Luther. We don’t make it obvious he belongs to us while he’s working. Wasn’t it you who reminded me to respect that?”

Luther Cross, my long-time partner in both business and in life, was the only person I was comfortable relaxing with and teasing—for the longest time the only one I was personal with at all. He’d been my friend since our teens, a constant presence, and I wouldn’t have survived without him.

He’d become my head of security, preferring to protect me and the company rather than spend his days surrounded by sequins and shimmering fabric. Which was for the best since his fashion sense didn’t extend beyond his ties not clashing with his suits.

Tall and muscular, with dark brown skin, deep brown eyes, and black hair that he kept closely trimmed at the sides, but thick enough at the top to enjoy the soft texture of the tight curls, Luther had a presence that drew me to him the second he stepped into a room. Giving in would be so easy, but I’d fought to keep my distance for the longest time, unwilling to let his strength overpower my own. Away from work, I’d indulged from time to time, but until Alexander joined us, we’d had had an understanding that suited us both.

A relationship that didn’t interfere with my ambitions. That didn’t require either Luther or me to sacrifice anything. When either of us craved tenderness, we’d find a submissive young man or woman to play with, setting careful boundaries so the toy wouldn’t upset the tenuous balance we’d achieved.

Without even trying, Alexander had tipped the scale, forcing us—forcing me—to see how fragile our relationship had become. Luther didn’t want a toy to play with, he wanted a man to love. One who would love him in return.

That a boy he’d plucked off the streets—literally, though Alexander had been stealing my car at the time—satisfied my man in a way I’d failed to unsettled me at first. The young thief had seemed like a threat. Instead, he’d managed to bring Luther and I closer together. Proved there was no limit to what we could give. To one another. To him.

Watching him from across the room was difficult, but giving him space was the only way to let him bask in the spotlight. As always, he made sure Judy Stockette, head of the junior line, got full credit for leading the project, but standing at her side he practically glowed with pride. In a dark purple suit, with a bright blue tie, he caught the attention of every influencer in the room. He’d quickly become a fashion icon in an industry many struggled their whole lives to simply be noticed. But to me, he was so much more.

That boyish smile, the fervor in eyes a blue I’d kill to match in a masterpiece of fabric, but selfishly wanted to keep to myself. Light golden blond hair spilled in a stylish mess, long enough to grip in passion or stroke with tender affection. He was spirited, eager to learn and to be something to everyone, so full of hope and excitement I’d never get enough of having him close, of soaking in that pure warmth I’d considered out of reach.

I had a hard time trusting love, but I couldn’t deny how I felt about him.

“You’re looking at him like he’s your whole world.” Luther placed his hand on the base of my spine, his lips brushing the sensitive spot behind my ear and making me shiver. “I love that he’s helped draw out this side of you. I missed it.”

Considering my own warning to Luther, I pulled my gaze away from our submissive and observed the attendees who’d be taking their seats shortly around the runway as Judy and Alexander presented the latest in the rejuvenated line dedicated to teens. Before the guests had arrived, I’d gone to the dressing room on Alexander’s insistence, giving my final stamp of approval for every piece that would be showcased tonight.

As expected, there was not a single outfit I wasn’t proud to have my name on.

Alexander’s official debut in the fashion world would be a success. Still, I was eager to get him home. Luther was right. He deserved to be rewarded for his hard work.

I shot Luther a slanted smile. “You have no problem demanding that ‘side of me’ now.”

“Mmhmm.” Luther let out a soft chuckle, his hand moving down to the curve of my ass. “You like me demanding.”

“But not so much distracting.” Shifting away from him, I glanced around to make sure no one had noticed him being too familiar in public. We’d kept our relationship discrete over the years to avoid becoming the focus of lewd tabloids. Giving the bottom-feeding journalists anything tonight that would take the focus off Judy and Alexander was unacceptable.

Luther straightened, letting his hand fall to his side with a slight nod. “Shall we take our seats and enjoy the show? This is my last night with you for the next few weeks, and I didn’t want to spend it here, but I know how important this is to you both.”

“It is. And I’m glad you came.” I moved with him, taking my reserved seat next to the raised runway, the glasslike surface under-lit with lights that would shift from pure white to rainbow hues. From this position, Alexander could see me at a glance from behind the curtains if he needed moral support. He’d been content to remain in the background, letting the designers and Judy steal the show—along with the outfits, of course—but none of this would be happening if not for him. Which was why I’d had a new logo created for the line.

The stylized A to represent him, along with my signature to show I stood behind him, win or lose.

With how well he connected with people, I wasn’t surprised that he’d excelled at schmoozing with all the most important buyers, but once the lights in the room dimmed and the spotlight hit the stage, my pulse sped up and I couldn’t watch the models. I kept my eyes on the heavy black curtains. Willed him to look out. To catch my eye so I could reinforce all I’d said to him before.

“You’ve got this, Alexander.” I curved my hand around the back of his neck, drawing him close and brushing his hands away from where he fidgeted with his tie. “Don’t be nervous. Look at me. Now and when you’re up there. One look and you’ll see how much faith I have in you. You know I wouldn’t take a risk with the company just because I love you. You believe in the team I’ve given you. And you made me believe in them too.”

“That’s the problem.” Alexander pressed his eyes shut and drew in a shaky breath. “If I was wrong, I lose nothing. And they lose everything.”

“That’s not a problem.” I kissed his forehead. “It’s motivation.”

Relaxing back into my seat, my lips curved as the last model came out, wearing the piece that had frightened Alexander the most. Soft murmurs rose from the crowd, a hint of the excitement and admiration I’d expected.

The design was bold. Extravagant. Art in motion.

Alexander didn’t have the experience to predict whether the dress would be a hit or a flop, but I’d done my best to assure him. Perhaps laughing at him hadn’t helped, but he’d accused me of ‘Just being nice.’

Nice, was not a word used to describe me. It was cute that he tried to see me that way—maybe I should try harder to leave him with his illusions.

A small part in the side stage curtain drew my attention, too dark beyond to make out his face, but I could sense him there. From having been there myself, I knew he could see me. Pressing my hand to my chest, I inclined my head slightly as the pièce de résistance reached the end of the catwalk. The off-shoulder gown in black silk and torn rainbow tulle wasn’t an everyday look, but it would be perfect for high school proms and fancy events. Just this morning I’d received calls from two starlets attending award ceremonies who’d gotten a sneak peek and commissioned custom versions of the gowns to wear.

Alexander still didn’t fully understand that what walked across the catwalk represented artwork that would be imitated and reflected on in ways that would make the company millions. What we did here decided what would be trendy tomorrow. What would be created from the most exclusive brands, down to the cheapest knockoffs.

From the whispers around me I’d no doubt he’d hit a homerun, simply by listening better than I could. By passing the message in a way I was willing to hear. He was my ambassador. My eyes and ears within a company I’d founded which had become so overwhelmingly immense I had to filter out the noise. Delegate to people I trusted.

People like him.

Thundering applause followed the presentation of the last piece. Judy took the stage and thanked everyone for coming, then invited Alexander to join her.

He strode up to her side with so much confidence, I had to fight to sit still and not cheer for him simply taking those few steps into the public eye.

My pulse pounded when Judy handed him the mic.

This wasn’t the plan. He should have been able to smile at a brief mention, give a little bow, then walk away while Judy welcomed everyone to come to her with inquiries.

I fisted my hand on my thigh as Alexander stared out at the crowd.

Luther put his hand over mine and squeezed.

“Uh…I…” Alexander cleared his throat. Red blotches formed on his cheeks. “Thank you, Judy. And thank you all for coming. I know I’m new at this, but I’d have to be bli—” He cut himself off, as though realizing his next words could be a PR nightmare. He cleared his throat again and I winced. “The talent in these designs is obvious. I’m grateful to be part of this.”

He handed the mic back to Judy, spun around, and dashed behind the curtain.

I moved to stand, but Luther tightened his grip on my knee and leaned close. “Judy will distract them, but if you get up now, it will draw more attention to how awkward he was. Wait until everyone is spread out, enjoying refreshments. Then we can both go see him.”

Grinding my teeth, I inclined my head. Luther was right, but I couldn’t help glare at Judy as she glided around the room in her peach silk gown, composed and at ease with the focus from the buyers. Exactly what I expected from her, but Alexander should be there as well. This was his moment.

He’d disagree.

True. Judy had worked on this line before Alexander joined the company. But I’d been ready to let her go because she’d never convinced me the junior line was worth my time. She was young, an amazing designer, but far too timid.

Maybe I’d done something to make her afraid to approach me, but I doubted it. Her gender certainly wasn’t an issue, the majority of the management here was made up of women. None of them hesitated to present their ideas, though Alexander had bridged the gap between me and some talented young designers and interns who wouldn’t dare meet my eyes on an elevator.

Because of Alexander, the company benefited from innovation that had been lacking before. I’d accept the blame for being so out of touch with my employees, but how could any of them be grateful for his intervention, yet still put him in a position he wasn’t ready for?

As I made my way out of the rows of seats with Luther, I spotted Judy with a fashion editor from a prestigious magazine. As she spoke she turned toward me, then motioned for me to join them.

My jaw ticked at the delay, but I still had a job to do.

“Mr. Ashburne, I was hoping I’d get to speak to you tonight.” The skinny blonde—who’d likely tried to be a model before exploring editorials—offered her hand. “My name is Mindy MacKinnon. I’d love to know your thoughts on this newest line.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Mindy.” I shook her hand, then gave her my most professional smile. “I’m proud of every line under the Ashburne name, but Judy is the artist and the master behind everything you’ve seen tonight. You’re already speaking to the right person.”

“But what about Alexander Tremaine? Why is he suddenly so important?”

I stared at her. Then glanced over at Judy whose lightly tanned skin paled. The truth would ruin the night for her, and she was Alexander’s friend. That I didn’t like her much right now didn’t matter. “He’s an important part of the team, but the models owned the stage. Once you’re finished interviewing Judy, please feel free to speak to a few of them. They’re very excited to represent the junior line.”

“They really are!” Judy patted her sleek brown hair in its intricate up-do, shot me an uncertain look, then drew the editor away, still gushing. “I was honored to work with such a diverse cast. You’ve never seen anything like this.”

Heading backstage, I carefully checked my irritation with Judy against my protectiveness of Alexander. She hadn’t overstepped. If he’d been anyone else with his title, expecting him to say a few words would be nothing.

But Alexander had been off the streets for less than six months. He hadn’t developed the ‘thick skin’ expected in this industry. No one besides me and Luther knew where he came from. The trauma of his past. He wanted everyone working for me to treat him as an equal. And Judy had.

The fear he’d shown on that stage wasn’t on her. Wasn’t on any of us. But as a man who loved him, I’d hide him away until he was ready to face the spotlight again. Remind him how strong he was. Comfort him. Not something I was good at, but I wouldn’t be alone. Luther would be with me.

Until tomorrow, at least.

As I made my way backstage the cheerful chatter faded away, then died with each intern, assistant, and model who glanced my way. My spine stiffened with the attempt to ignore the building tension. I wasn’t some kind of monster, why were they all so damn careful around me? Yes, I lost my temper now and then when faced with incompetence, but always in my office with the door closed.

If I shouted when every person under my employ seemed to have slowed to a crawl it was simply to ensure they still had jobs the next day. And for years to come. I hadn’t built a successful empire by being passive. My company employed the best in the industry on every level and applications poured in daily to fill coveted spots as we expanded, but upper management almost always rose from within. The one exception over the last eight years being Alexander.

The company had the best benefits compared to any other in the city and I’d made damn sure long ago that those who worked for me would be secure and happy here. The one thing I couldn’t give them was more of myself, but that was to be expected. Fine, the trepidation might stem from knowing nothing of me save the sound of my voice carrying when someone fucked up, but the generous paychecks should make the occasional amped up pressure negligible.

“Little minnows, the lot of them.” I muttered under my breath. “I’m surprised someone hasn’t started playing the Jaws soundtrack.”

“That can be arranged,” Luther spoke quietly, but the amusement in his tone was loud and clear. “You’d frighten them less if you stopped scowling, you know.” Luther’s lips twitched as I turned my scowl on him. “Don’t give me that look. You intimidate people. You’re not interested in socializing, and I understand that. But if you don’t want a room to go silent when you walk in, it wouldn’t kill you to smile.”

“What reason do I have to smile? Alexander is upset. I’m worried about him.”

“Fair enough, but everyone here worked hard, and they need to know you’re pleased.”

“Then they’ll receive bonuses for a job well done.”

Luther sighed, shaking his head before continuing to the storage area at the back of the venue where all the showcase pieces were being carefully packed away, along with boxes of accessories, shoes, and props. Alexander spent his time here during setup, claiming he’d ‘freak’ if anything was damaged, but I suspected he felt more comfortable around the men and women who unloaded, then loaded up the company vans.

Across the room Alexander was opening a roll of tape with his teeth, laughing at whatever the man next to him said before playfully smacking the taller man’s arm. He spat out a piece of plastic, glancing to his left when a young woman asked him something, grinning when the rest of the crew chimed in.

Looked like he was doing just fine on his own.

I started to turn.

Luther placed his hand on the base of my spine, forcing me to keep moving forward. “Hey, Alec. Thought we’d find you here.”

Alexander’s expression lit up for a split second before he schooled his features, but his eyes still shone as he looked from Luther to me. He stood, passing the tape to the girl next to him before crossing the storage area, sidestepping boxes and racks.

The smile on his lips stole the urge to make a discreet exit. As detached as I tried to be, there was no way to steel myself against the warmth he shared so effortlessly.

Tie undone, jacket abandoned, Alexander was a complete mess, but at least he’d shaken off the embarrassment from being put on the spot. He stopped a few feet in front of us and hooked his thumbs to his pockets, rocking on his scuffed black dress shoes as though too full of energy to stand still.

“Everything’s pretty much done, but I wanted to double check.” Alexander licked his bottom lip, rocking again. “A few of us are going to a club to have drinks and celebrate. Did you guys wanna come?”

“Wouldn’t you prefer to celebrate at home?” I used my most diplomatic tone, but an edge crept in at the mere thought of going to a crowded club. Surrounded by people shouting and shoving and stealing all the air from a too bright and too humid room… Never mind the incessant pulse of horrible music. He’d have been better off suggesting waterboarding for entertainment. “I bought that terrible movie you’ve been looking forward to.”

Luther muttered a prayer even as Alexander spat out a laugh.

“The movie will be there tomorrow.” Luther gave me a hard look the second I opened my mouth. He reached out and patted Alexander’s shoulder. “Go have fun. I’m happy you’re starting to make some friends—just give me a shout if you need me to pick you up.”

“You sure?” Alexander chewed on his bottom lip in a way that was not conductive to me letting him go anywhere. He met my eyes, his own filled with uncertainty. “If you’d rather I come home, I will.”

“I would.” I could feel Luther glaring at me. Decided to throw him off by doing something completely out of character. “But I’ll have you to myself for the next week. Enjoy your last night of freedom.”

Somehow, Alexander managed to pale and blush at the same time. Absolutely adorable.

I looked forward to making him do that often when I had him back under my control.

“You almost had me there.” Luther shook his head, lips curved. “You managed to be unselfish and overbearing all at once.”

“He’s scary even when he’s sweet,” Alexander spoke in a stage whisper, his golden blond hair spilling over one eye as he gave a mischievous smile. “Don’t tell him I’m looking forward to whatever he plans to do to me.”

“You’re going to wish you hadn’t said that.” Luther glanced over at the packing people, taking Alexander’s hand and drawing him closer when he saw they were all distracted. “I’m damn proud of you. The show you put on tonight—”

“Was much bigger than me.” As always, Alexander refused to take any credit, but he looked down at his hand in Luther’s and drew in a rough breath. “Maybe I shouldn’t go. Xavier is right, this is your last night here. I’m gonna fucking miss you.”

“Watch your language, boy. I’ll miss you too, but I’ll only be gone for a week. And you know I hate goodbyes.” Luther squeezed Alexander’s fingers. “Last night was ours. Tonight will be for me and Xavier. I’ll wake you up in the morning for a quick kiss, while you’re too tired to make me change my mind about leaving.”

Nodding slowly, Alexander lowered his gaze. He was trying hard to be strong for Luther, but this was the first time in months he’d be without our man for more than a few hours. Even with work and school, Alexander still found time to be with Luther, cuddling while watching a movie, going to restaurants, or simply exploring the city. They went jogging together almost every morning.

A week without that, with only me to comfort him, would be difficult. Our relationship was strong, we worked well together, but I wasn’t good at spending quiet moments with anyone. ‘Date nights’ were usually the three of us doing something on Luther’s insistence. I’d cut down my schedule as much as possible to have meals with both my men at least a few times a week—still, it was rare I spent the night with either of them.

Strengthening our relationship was important, a priority…and yet, I was well aware that my efforts weren’t nearly enough. Luther leaving would be my chance to up my game as a partner and a lover. He wasn’t responsible for filling my role in Alexander’s life, but I’d let him far too often. Just as I’d let Alexander give Luther what was missing from me.

The only way to change that would be to give our relationships the same relentless focus I gave my company all these years. And I’d considered a few ways to do that.

Until my plans were put into action, if Luther believed Alexander being with his new…friends would be good for him, I’d at least encourage that.

If they’re using him, in any way, I’ll simply get creative about making them suffer.

Smiling at the thought, I patted Alexander’s arm. “Go on. You’ve earned this night. And I promise, the time will pass quickly. I’ve taken your advice and started training Tricia as my assistant. Over the next week, I’ll let her take on more of my duties, which will free up time for us to spend together.” The idea hadn’t appealed at first, but seeing the shock on both Alexander and Luther’s faces now spurred me on. “If all goes well, I may consider a vacation.”

Luther blinked at me, lifting his hand to scratch his jaw, as though I’d given him a puzzle to solve. “You’ve never taken a vacation. I trust you’d tell me if you were sick?”

I arched a brow at him, refusing to dignify the question with an answer.

Alexander’s eyes were troubled. “I mentioned Tricia was hoping for a promotion and she’s really good with upper management, but I didn’t know you needed more help. Aren’t I still your PA?”

We’d discussed Alexander remaining on as my personal assistant, but with how well he’d done with the junior line I’d assumed he’d stay on, establishing himself in the more important role. Having him close at hand to indulge in sexual play during office hours had been enjoyable. I’d miss the time we spent together in my office.

However, part of improving our relationship meant not limiting our interactions to the bit of time I could spare between phone calls and paperwork. And it wasn’t like he wouldn’t be close enough to call in for impromptu…meetings if we both had the urge.

“We’ll discuss your position at a later date, Alexander. I’d hoped the idea of a trip to some exotic location would be more appealing than sorting through my files, but if not—”

“No! I’d fucking love to take a trip.” Alexander bit his bottom lip as Luther held up a finger.

One.

My lips slanted. If Luther was starting to count the rules being broken, maybe Alexander wouldn’t be leaving with these new people after all. Swearing was a recent addition to the list, and only applied at work. Not a rule I would have considered, but Luther was the one who’d taken on Alexander’s training.

Our submissive never made it to two and found security in the discipline. My punishments tended to be more immediate, my rules less involved, but the balance between Luther’s tender micromanaging and my attention to structure worked out well. At least the power exchange was something we’d laid a solid foundation for.

“Alec, you coming?” The girl who’d been speaking to Alexander earlier called out, glancing uncertainly at Luther, then me. “Everything all right?”

“One sec!” Alexander called back. He stared up at Luther, swallowing hard. “Is me not going my punishment?”

Luther shook his head and squeezed Alexander’s shoulder. “You want me to make you stay, but I won’t do that, Alec. This will be good for you.”

“Then what—”

“Wash my car while I’m gone. Naked.” Luther chuckled as Alexander’s lips parted. “Swearing equals chores. Was that not clear?”

“But you won’t be there to enjoy the show.”

“Which is what makes it a punishment. Because you’d have liked that very much.” Luther gave Alexander a little nudge. “Now don’t make me repeat myself. I may start to think you don’t care to please me.”

Chewing at his bottom lip, Alexander paused for a moment. “I’ll go…” He cocked his head. “But I’m recording that shi—that. Me washing your car. See you in the morning!” He grinned and took off.

Shaking my head, I watched him go. “You had to put him in brat mode right before leaving, didn’t you.”

“You’ll enjoy every minute.” Luther turned with me, heading for the exit that led into the underground parking. “I want to know you’re both having fun while I’m gone.”

“I don’t do fun.” My lips thinned at his level look. “The things you and Alexander enjoy don’t amuse me. I’ll make an effort, but the idea of noisy movies and greasy food isn’t the least bit appealing.”

Inclining his head as we reached the town car parked at the far end of the lot, Luther stilled for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. “You have trouble with anything you don’t find productive, but there are things you enjoy doing. Things I wish I’d convinced you to do more often.”

“I wasn’t open to suggestions for a very long time, Luther.”

“But you are now.” There was a wicked glint in his eye. One that immediately sent blood pulsing down low. His deep, gravelly tone was like a firm grip on my swelling erection, full of lust and power. “We’ll discuss what I’ll allow you to do with our pet. Once I’ve finished what I want to do to you.”

Part of me wanted to resist. To put up a wall of arrogance and deny the need he stirred in me. I slammed the steel door I’d once used to shut Luther out on the urge and smirked. “My submission isn’t as easy to claim as Alexander’s.”

Luther folded his forearms on the hood of the car, brow arched. “Is that a challenge?”

I opened the passenger side door. “Always.”

The echo of footsteps filled the hall as I made my way to the kitchen, anticipation sending sharp sparks along my nerves, as though every inch of my skin lit up just knowing Luther was near. Since I’d given the staff the night off, everyone had either gone home or retired to their wing of the house. The convenience of a butler and maids simplified life, but doors being open and tea waiting wasn’t worth losing the bit of time I had left alone with my man.

Most of the lights were off, casting the halls in shadow, but the dim glow from the kitchen was more than enough. I passed the expensive paintings lining the walls, the thick, burgundy curtains drawn shut over long windows, ornate tables with pricey knickknacks, all things I’d bought to make the mansion more like the place I’d grown up. As always, the display of wealth left me with a hollow feeling in my gut.

And still, I’d embraced this life, made it a showcase for the rich and famous who came here hoping to do business, to impress me, to make themselves feel important. I hated them almost as much as I needed them. Being shut away from all those I’d admired as a child had been a painful reminder of how far I’d fallen when my father disowned me.

Aside from Luther, no one knew how little the money actually meant to me. Of course I bought all the material things that would display my position, but more often than not my butler, Mr. Mathews, or Luther, made the purchases. I didn’t enjoy having…things. What they stood for was much more important.

My father had tried to shame me. Had figured without him I would be nothing. He’d taken everything I’d ever known, isolated me, and likely hoped I’d disappear from his world.

The riches, every damn overpriced vase, every painting bought on auction for millions, every car, every piece of jewelry was to show him he’d failed. If my name wasn’t in the papers for my accomplishments, it was there because I’d acquired something coveted by members of the ‘one percent’.

Reaching the kitchen, I strode across the room, filled the kettle, and put it on. Every movement was stiff. My throat tightened as I struggled to shove away the memories that came every time I walked down that hall. I usually avoided going further than the stairway leading up to my room, or my office located on the other side of the entrance, but when Luther came to this section of the house I forced myself to move around my home as though it was completely natural.

If he suspected what being here did to me, he’d worry. Which was unacceptable.

As the kettle heated, Luther took a seat on a stool at the kitchen island, picking up a woman’s magazine likely left there by the cook. She lived in the west wing of the house with a few of the maids even though I didn’t eat enough to need her fulltime—having Alexander around finally gave her more to do. Her presence was comforting, and she’d been with me longer than the rest of my staff. Left an abusive relationship after fifteen years the day I’d hired her.

Her youngest daughter had come with her, still too young to be out on her own. Eight years later and the young woman was going to Stanford University, a gift to her from me for letting her mother take the place of the one who’d abandoned me.

“Ms. Lacey was waiting for you.” Luther set down the magazine. “Which means you skipped lunch. Likely breakfast as well.”

The man was much too observant. I folded my arms over my chest and leaned back against the counter. “Perhaps she simply decided to spend time in the kitchen with the staff. Enjoy her day off.”

“Even on her days off she makes sure you eat.”

“You took Alexander out for breakfast and made him lunch. She likely assumed I ate with you or went out myself.”

“But you didn’t. You can’t stand restaurants and only go to them for business meetings.” Luther sighed and shook his head. “Xavier, I know you were worried about Alec, but you need to take better care of yourself.”

The soft reprimand made me smile. As much as I didn’t want Luther to worry, I loved that he cared. I always wondered if others, like my staff, cared only because I paid them well. Maybe not Abigail Lacey, I knew she was genuine, but I tried to shield her from my more self-destructive tendencies.

I couldn’t hide anything from Luther.

“I had an energy bar this morning. Disgusting thing, but I promised you I’d have at least that if I couldn’t stomach a full meal.” I turned and opened the cupboard, pulling out two mugs. “I keep my promises.”

“I know you do.” Luther watched me fix the tea, his lips curving slightly. “You’ve gotten better at that. Do you remember when Ms. Lacey was making Thanksgiving dinner for your new business partners, rushing around because you’d forgotten to tell her Ted Brosner was allergic to nuts? You kept apologizing while trying to make yourself a tea and spilled the milk all over yourself. Almost knocked over the cup of boiling water before she took over.”

My cheeks heated as I set down the kettle after filling both cups. I’d been all of twenty-one, with more money then I knew what to do with after several of my designs were bought by fashion moguls. I hadn’t acquired the mansion yet, but I had a large house I shared with Luther, the butler who’d left my father’s employ to work for me, and several maids we’d had to hire to take care of the house.

An older entrepreneur had taken me aside at a big event and told me I should be producing my own designs, rather than selling them. Her name was Ashlee Madison, a transgender woman who worked on technological advances for several companies and had started her own business days before her fiftieth birthday, having established herself enough that even the most conservative were willing to work with her, even if in secret.

She came to my house with Ted Brosner, her long-time lover, both invested in my success for some reason I still couldn’t fathom. They’d built the kind of life I wanted to have, so I’d invited them over. I’d been nervous. A complete mess. And Luther hadn’t known how to calm me down.

But Ms. Lacey had. She’d worked for the elite before and considered me one of them, though I hadn’t seen myself that way. She sent me away to change my suit, then sat me down at the table while the turkey was cooking.

“Xavier, baby, you’re doing just fine. I wish you’d see that.” She set a cup of tea in front of me, just the way I liked it, even though she’d been there less than a day. She was a small woman, a mix of Chinese and Haitian, and one of the strongest people I’d ever met. “I hope you don’t mind me being informal for a moment, but you remind me of my son. You’re so young and you’re trying to do so much. Someone needs to tell you they’re proud of you. Will you let it be me?”

That was the last time I remembered crying. I’d gone almost four years after being kicked out of my home and never shed a tear. I’d been too obsessed with proving I didn’t need my father. Didn’t need his money. Didn’t care if he tried to cut me off from the only world I’d ever known. Didn’t need the pathetic excuse for a family…

“I’m not paying you to coddle me.” I lowered my gaze as the tears fell, powerless to stop them. “But…thank you. And please don’t tell Luther I…I let this get to me. He’s afraid that I’m not ready, but I am.” I lifted my head as she put her hand on my arm, the gesture making it, so I stopped trying to hide my tears. “I am.”

She cupped my face in her hand. “I know you are, honey. But that man of yours loves you. Don’t be afraid to lean on him. He needs to know how much you need him.”

“And I need him to be here because he wants to be, not because he thinks I can’t do this on my own.”

“Xavier, he doesn’t think that. He believes in you. I hope one day you’ll realize letting people care for you isn’t a weakness.” She smiled and patted my cheek. “Not that I’ll give you a choice.”

If Ms. Lacey had been working for my fledgling company not long after, I’d probably have fired her for that. But she was part of the home I was trying to build, and she found a way to fill a role in my life that no one else could. I’d still learned to close off part of myself to her over the years, but no more than she allowed. She’d helped me become the man I was today by refusing to back off, while still letting me grow.

Even if she didn’t always approve.

Her disapproval was a sign that I still had a long way to go.

She’d been expressing that disapproval more lately. Ever since Alexander had come here. He’d been taken under her wing as expected. If I hurt him in any way, she’d never forgive me.

For the next week, I’d have to make sure she was never too far. Because I didn’t trust myself not to fuck up. Alexander wasn’t me. He’d managed to survive losing his family without becoming hard and cold and I wanted to keep it that way. But I was the last person to show him how.

“What’s bothering you, Xavier?” Luther stepped around the island, taking the mug I handed him and studying my face. “You’re thinking hard.”

Bringing my own mug to my lips, I inhaled the steam, letting the warmth and the first sip center me. The brew was strong, with no more than a splash of milk and half a teaspoon of sugar to bring out the flavor. I set the mug on the gleaming granite countertop, rolling my shoulders and trying to sort through my thoughts.

“Any uncertainty may come across as a reason for you to stay and I won’t allow that.” I stroked my thumb up the side of the mug, my hand still curved around it. “You’ve been eager to see your brother after being apart for so long.”

“I am cautiously optimistic, yes.” The edge of his lips tightened slightly as he looked past me, his expression troubled. “He couldn’t live with my ‘lifestyle’ before. Speaking to him over this past month has me believing he’s changed his views, but we’re strangers to one another now.”

“That could change.”

“And it might not.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m not certain I want it too. He’s not the little boy who looked up to me, always wanting me to teach him things and tag along when I went out with my friends. He’s the man who looked at me with disgust before cutting me out of his life. That fucking hurt.”

I nodded slowly. We’d discussed this before, but Luther’s words hadn’t been so raw then. He’d been trying to talk himself into visiting his brother while giving me all the reasons he should. Had simply showing support been the right move? Telling him I’d be fine, that I’d spend time with Alexander, that I’d listen to Luther’s second-in-command and be safe…had any of that been enough?

Grinding my teeth, I went to him, putting my hand over his on the cold slab of granite of the kitchen island. “I…am horrible at giving advice. I tried, but nodding and saying the right words clearly didn’t work. Do you want to know what I really think?”

Cocking his head, Luther met my eyes. “It worries me that you have to ask.”

“You owe the man nothing, Luther. And that’s not what you wanted to hear, so I didn’t say it. You don’t have to forgive him.” My tone sharpened as the anger I’d been holding back flowed freely. “You missed your mother’s funeral because he refused to call you. He didn’t call your father either. He’s a selfish asshole and I don’t want him given a chance to hurt you again.”

Wincing, Luther lowered his gaze. “My father forgave him.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “His choice. One he had every right to make, but pulling away from you because you didn’t make the same one was fucked up.”

When Luther went still, not looking at me, not replying for the longest time, I cursed myself for opening my fool mouth. I had no right to judge his family. My parents were both alive and liked pretending I was dead. Changing my last name had helped them. Those who hadn’t known me before I’d been disowned didn’t connect me to them now. If not for the infrequent articles mentioning my past as the heir to the Redstone oil company, a multi-billion-dollar legacy I’d lost by choice, I’d be completely erased.

“You’re right.” Luther let out a soft laugh and cupped my cheek in his hand, a tender gesture it was hard not to pull away from. I would have once. Instead, I met my man’s calm gaze as he continued. “Everything you’ve just said occurred to me, but forgiveness is always expected. The pain someone causes you is always less important than your willingness to accept an apology. As if words heal a damn thing. As if easing guilt is now your responsibility.”

I inclined my head. “If I’d told you not to go—”

“I’d have been angry with you. Stop wondering if you’re behaving human enough, Xavier.” Luther pulled me against him. “The man you are hasn’t been with us long. And yet, I love him as much as I loved the man you’d tried so hard to be.”

That made me laugh. “I am the same person, Luther. A new name didn’t change that.”

“I disagree. Edmund Redstone The Third was a talented young man, but his family was killing him. Smothering him with expectations.” Luther fisted his hand around my tie, his deep brown eyes darkening as he held my gaze. “Xavier Ashburne is a survivor. And he shut away—you shut away—the fragile side of yourself. And I understand why you did. But you’re slowly letting it back in. Edmund is gone. But who you are is who he’d have wanted to be.”

Shaking my head, I grinned up at Luther. “You’re a sentimental fool. And I love that about you.”

“Which is why you won’t stop me from leaving in the morning.”

“Yes.” I groaned as the point of the conversation hit me. Luther didn’t need me to help him sort out his misgivings, he’d already come to peace with them. He appreciated my honesty, but this was one of his lessons. “Loving you doesn’t mean shielding you from pain. It means being there as you heal, someone you can count on not to hurt you.”

“You always try not to, Xavier. None of us are perfect. You’ve hurt me when you’ve shut me out. You were afraid to love me. Just like you’re afraid to love Alexander.” He smoothed my tie and stepped back, as though to avoid his touch distracting from his words. “He sees you’re trying. And when he’s hurting, he’ll come to you. Let him fail. Let him be the one to tell you if you’re not giving him what he needs. Let what you share be imperfect.”

“Unless what we’re sharing is him tied up and opened wide for my pleasure.” My lips slanted. “Then mistakes aren’t an option.”

“True. Don’t break him.”

“Even a little?”

“You scare me when you’re trying to be cute.” Luther smirked. “Or is this an invitation?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I leaned back against the island, smiling at him, eyes hooded. “And I’m never cute.”

With a low laugh, Luther nodded toward my tie. “Take it off if you don’t want it ruined. I know how fussy you are about your silks.”

His words were both arousing and irritating. Letting Luther take control was a high, but there was always a moment before I gave in that I couldn’t help resisting. To put me in the submissive mindset, he’d say things like this. Call me adorable, which I wasn’t. Tease me about being uptight until I needed to prove him wrong.

Jerking at my tie, I pulled it free, then let it fall to the floor. My stomach twisted as I considered the work that had gone into crafting the fine piece of fabric, acquired from an ethical company I’d supported at its founding. The intricate pattern in the fine silk was hand woven over months. I’d traveled to India to make sure the labor standard was up to par and was impressed with what the company was doing for the community. Only a piece of material, but I wasn’t able to detach myself from it as I did so easily with people.

Luther bent down and picked up the tie. “Don’t ever do that again. I was teasing you, Xavier. I know how much everything you wear means to you.”

“They’re just clothes.” Still, I watched him set the tie on the counter, fisting my hand by my side so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach out and neatly fold it. “I enjoy your passion.”

“You enjoy my restraint more. Over you and myself.” Luther stepped up to me and reached for the top button of my shirt. “Today wasn’t a day for you to dress in what you’d consider ‘casual wear’.” He slipped one button free of the fine, ivory-white cotton. “Taking this off you is like removing armor, piece at a time, and I know exactly what it does to you.”

I pressed my eyes shut as he undid another button. Carefully. Too careful for some. Torn fabric and buttons flying, was always portrayed as so much sexier, but the way he slipped every smooth mother-of-pearl button through the hole stole the urge to take over. It was as though the buttons remaining attached, the material undamaged, grounded me. Brought me to where I’d be able to surrender without a fight.

Not that I didn’t enjoy the fight at times. When Luther came to my room in the middle of the night, while I was lounging in my bed in nothing but boxers, I enjoyed giving him a bit of a challenge. My physical activity was always so tame. Running on a treadmill. Lifting weights and doing cardio according to my trainer’s strict regime. When Luther had begun exploring his control over me I’d realized I enjoyed a bit of wrestling. Being held down. Being taken.

What he was doing now was something else.

“There we go.” Luther finished with the last button, then eased the shirt off my shoulders, freeing each arm in a smooth motion. He laid the shirt next to the tie. “When you’re with Alec, put on a pair of jeans. Take yourself out of your comfort zone.” His hard look killed any protest. “Take the next step, Xavier. Don’t wear the armor with him, he doesn’t know how to get past it. Give him you. Completely raw. He needs to be able to trust you, but that trust has to be given as well.”

Inhaling slowly through my nose, I nodded once. “I will.”

“Good.” Luther undid my belt, set it aside, then slipped the button of my pants free, holding my gaze. “Do you have any idea how precious your surrender is to me? I know what it costs you. I know you see being vulnerable as a weakness. But you’re strong. So much stronger than you know. And that’s where I failed. Because I never made sure you did.”

As he bent down to lower my pants, waiting as I stepped out of one leg, then the other, I wondered how he could maintain his dominance while tending to me like this. My butler helped me dress at times, when I was in a hurry, listening to details about a new business partner while my assistant transcribed my responses to emails and messages. He’d quickly button my shirt and fix my tie while my mind was caught between a dozen different tasks.

A detached routine I’d become accustomed to. This with Luther was new. And once I was standing there, facing him in nothing but my boxers, while he remained fully dressed, there was no way I was giving out orders.

Hands still fisted by my sides, I watched him warily as he stepped away and went to the cupboard, pulling out a small tub. My brow furrowed when I realized it was coconut oil.

Are we baking?

His lips slanted. “We’ve improvised before, Xavier. Remember the conditioner in my college dorm?”

“There were no alternatives.” I wet my bottom lip with my tongue as he opened the tub of oil, white and solid, with a slightly sweet scent that reminded me of piña coladas. “There are plenty in my room.”

“But we’re not in your room.” Luther scooped out a bit of oil on his finger, bringing it to my chest and letting it melt on my skin. “I love the scent and I want it all over you. I want to slide against you, inside you, and know that you’re covered in nothing but what I’ve put there.”

His finger slipped over my nipple, and I hissed in a sharp breath. I didn’t know how to react to Luther slowly attending to every inch of my skin, heating it with his touch, softening it with the oil. The sensation was luxurious, the glide of his fingers mesmerizing as he spread the oil over my chest, up over my shoulders, down to my pecs, my ribs, my stomach. I jerked when he reached my hips, leaning against the counter as he knelt and hooked his slick fingers to the edge of my boxers. He eased them over my swollen erection, letting them fall as he turned his attention to my thighs.

Fully exposed, my dick strained forward, aching for his touch, but he ignored it. He set the tub of oil on the floor by his knee, continuing to massage it over my skin, covering my thighs, my knees, his lips close to my cock as he reached down and slicked the oil over my shins and feet.

On his way back up he smoothed the heated liquid over my calves. Then the back of my knees, which had my legs shaking. I put my hands behind me, bracing myself on the counter as his hands stroked over the back of my thighs. My ass clenched, but he didn’t touch it.

Instead, he rose and cupped my cheek again, smiling at me. “Don’t try to anticipate what I’ll do next, Xavier. I like keeping you off guard.”

“And torturing me, it seems.” I swallowed as he massaged my shoulders with his slick hands. “Why are you doing this?”

Luther kissed me, a soft press of his lips, gliding his hands down my arms, then wrapping his hands around my wrists. “I was remembering our first time. You were so full of self-hatred before that, you wouldn’t even touch me anymore. You’d defied your father after a few kisses. Told him you loved me. Then struggled to make it on your own. Found someone willing to support you and suddenly love didn’t matter anymore. If I’d known that night what would happen after, I’d never have let you go.”

“Neither of us would be where we are today if I hadn’t made that sacrifice.”

“No, but we’d be together. And you wouldn’t still be tearing down all those walls you put up.”

“I don’t know who I’d be, Luther. My father tried to destroy me. He failed. That was all that mattered.”

Curving his hand around the back of my neck, Luther pressed his forehead to mine as he tightened his grip. His eyes had gone dark. Hard. “I would have protected you.”

I pressed my eyes shut. “But I wasn’t ready to let you.”

My man still didn’t know how far I’d fallen before I’d been ready for him to pull me out of the pit I dove into, head first. But not a day passed when I didn’t remember.

For two years I’d been cut off from the world I’d grown up in. My only ties from the past were Luther— who I’d met in high school and fallen in love with—and my father’s ex-business partner. Joel Bradley was old money, established enough that being shunned by my father didn’t diminish his prospects, but when he heard I’d been disowned, he encouraged me to file for emancipation. Then provided the funds for me to find my own place.

For a price, but one I didn’t anticipate. In his fifties, Joel reminded me of my father. A kinder, more attentive version. He reached out to me while I was crashing on the sofa at Luther’s parent’s house. Offered to provide a place to live, the means to finish my schooling at the private school both Luther and I attended. He said he was lonely and would appreciate if I visited now and then.

For almost two years he’d asked for nothing else. At times I was uncomfortable in his presence. The way he watched me was too intense. His questions too personal. Aside from Luther, his parents and mine, he was the only one who knew I was bisexual.

A few days after my eighteenth birthday he finally told me what he expected for all he’d given me. I’d gotten a scholarship to an elite art program I’d applied to. He told me he could take that away. And I believed him.

The career I hoped to build with the one skill I had was my only way to prove my father wrong. I wasn’t pathetic. Or worthless. I had so many dreams.

But to reach them, I’d have to let Luther go.

I didn’t want to.

Joel laughed when I told him I was in love. He knew Luther’s name. He said he would ruin him too.

I had twenty-four hours to give him an answer.

Not enough, but I went to Luther, knowing this would be our last time together. I couldn’t tell him why because he’d stop me. And I loved him too much to let him face the consequences of my decision.

The second Luther opened the door, I threw myself at him. He laughed and held me close, kissing my neck, helping me pull off my cheap T-shirt. The kind of clothes Joel told me would destroy any chance I had at a future. He’d provide better. Did what it would cost me really matter?

Luther tugged me to the shower, whispering that he’d hoped I wanted him as much as he wanted me, but thought I’d changed my mind.

“Don’t stop.” He groaned as I sucked along the side of his neck. “Fuck, Edmund, you—”

“Xavier. I’m Xavier now.”

“Xavier, you don’t like to get messy. I just finished working out and I’m all gross. Come with me to clean up. There’s nothing wrong with this. With us. Please just…” Luther stumbled into the bathroom, holding me against him as he slammed into the side of the sink. “Tell me you want this.”

“I want you.” My throat tightened because I did. I wanted him now. And forever. But we couldn’t have that. “Don’t make me think. Tell me what to do.”

Tugging off my shirt, Luther lifted me up into his strong arms, kissing me again, trying to get us both naked as he moved closer to the shower. “Don’t regret me, Xavier. Don’t hate what we have. I’m sorry you lost everything. But we can get it back. Together.”

“You are what I have.” I slid down Luther’s body, shoving his boxers off his hips, then dropping to my knees as he reached over to turn on the shower. “You’re everything.”

Lips sliding over his dick, I let out a soft moan as he cupped the back of my head and thrust in deeper. We’d fooled around before, kissing and grinding, even jerking one another off once or twice. But not this. This had been how my father pictured me. A man’s whore. On my knees with a dick in my mouth.

The rough pressure almost got me off, but before I could come, Luther pulled me up and into the shower, he lifted me, bracing my back against the wall.

“I want to feel you. No one else. I can’t imagine wanting anyone else.” Luther fumbled the conditioner, opening it behind my bowed back and dumping some in his palm. “Tell me you want me too.”

As Luther’s slick fingers filled me, I forced myself to remember it was him. To shut away Joel whispering what he would do to me. What I’d told him he could have. He wasn’t here.

Luther was.

Only Luther.

And I’d remember this when I was finally free. When I could come back to him.

His fingers left me, and he let me set one foot on the floor, lifting the other and pressing me against the wall as he positioned his dick. He rocked forward, the head of his dick easing in, then slipping away. He kissed me as he tried again, driving his fingers in deep before guiding his dick to my slick hole.

“This isn’t working.” Luther tried to lift me, still kissing me. “You’re so fucking tight.”

I pressed my hands on his shoulders, nudging him away, then turning, my hands braced on the tiled wall. “This will be easier.”

“But I want to see you, Xavier. I don’t want you to shut down. I want to know I’m not hurting you.”

“You won’t. I trust you.”

Groaning, Luther stepped behind me, kissing my shoulder as he used more conditioner to slick his fingers. “Relax. Show me what you can take.”

His fingers filled me, faster than I’d expected, but when he worked two in deep and began thrusting, I pressed back, needing more. And he gave it to me. His fingers slipped away, and his dick slid, over and over, pressing, then easing back. He slapped his hand against the wall as the head of his dick stretched me.

Gasping in air, I fought not to pull away from the intense burn.

“Shh, let’s wait. Try to relax.”

I laughed at Luther’s calm tone. “I think your fist would feel better in my ass.”

“Do you want me to try that first?”

“I don’t know. Is your dick bigger than your fist?”

Luther chuckled and kissed my shoulder. “No. But I’ve done this with dildos. It will feel good. Just press back and stop clenching. Like you did with my fingers.”

We both moaned as I followed his instructions, and the head of his dick breeched my ass. I was completely open. Vulnerable. And it scared me, but this was Luther. Feeling him, even with the burn, was the purest thing I’d ever felt.

Shoving back, I let out a rough sound as another inch filled me.

“Oh fuck.” Luther, slid back, then forward again. “Xavier, I wish you could see this. Your ass is stretching around me. Holding me so tight. Pulsing around me.” He pressed a finger against the rim holding him, “So fucking tight, but you’re taking it all.” More pressure and I jerked forward, then back. “I want to open you up more. Hold still.”

His dick inside me, only a few inches, was almost overwhelming, but also…perfect. The way he touched me was perfect. My vision blurred as he squirted more conditioner over where we were connected. He eased out, then in, his finger tracing where I was stretched around his cock.

“What are you doing, Luther?” I panted, but rocked back against him, feeling his eyes on me. “You should be fucking me.”

“I should, but you relaxed more when I did this. Like I overwhelmed whatever’s in your head, holding you back.” He curved one hand around my hip, holding me still as he slid his dick in deeper. His pelvis hit my ass. His finger had gone, and I tried moving again. He tightened his grip and his finger returned as his dick slid out. “You’re prepared for my dick, but not the extra sensation of my finger.”

“Your dick is enough.”

“Is it?” Luther drew out all the way. Latched onto my hips with both hands and thrust back in. I braced myself, wanting to show him I could handle anything he threw at me. “What if I want to give you more?”

“Take it. Take everything.” The burning had eased as my body adjusted to Luther’s girth. But then he withdrew, curving his finger inside me instead, exploring my body, my reactions. It shifted my attention. Made it harder to predict what he’d do next. “More.”

His fingers filled me. Three. Then four. I moaned, begging for his dick again. He gave it to me. Stretching me with it. Moving slow. Opening me more and more. Leaving me and using his fingers again, curving, stroking, and I cried out. Jutted back until almost his whole hand was inside me. I wanted it. His fingers, his dick. My hands slipped on the tiled wall, and I whimpered when he turned the shower off.

“I need you in my bed.”

My legs didn’t work properly as he guided me, half carrying me, to his bed. He laid me on it, the bottle of conditioner in his hand.

Then he went still. “Xavier, I should be using a condom.”

“Have you been with anyone else?”

“No. Have you?”

I shook my head. “No. Please don’t stop. I love this. You’re driving me crazy, and I love it.”

Eyes darkening with pleasure, he knelt between my thighs, pushing them apart and tipping the bottle of conditioner until the cool liquid dripped over my balls and down to my over-sensitized hole. His dick was hard and glistening, jutting up against his stomach, but he seemed too fascinated with toying with my body to take his own pleasure.

“I don’t think this virgin ass is ready for my fist, but one day…” Luther’s lips curved as he sank two fingers in deep. “Fuck…the things I want to do to you.”

With a breathless laugh, I writhed impatiently on the bed, lifting my hips to make him move faster. “If you could get back to fucking me, that would be awesome.”

He shook his head, tapping the tips of his fingers against my prostate, smirking when I jerked and slammed my head back into the pillow. “Not yet. It’ll be over too fast. You stayed away from me for too long, Xavier. I want you begging. I want you to need me so much you’ll never even think of leaving me again.”

How I hadn’t figured out that night how much Luther craved control, how good he was at wielding it, was beyond me. He’d drawn our first time out for hours. Took me fast our second time. Then shocked me by proving I could be aroused without getting hard for the longest time, a mess of need, simply drowning in sensations.

That night he’d done everything in his power to prove I belonged to him. Only him.

And he’d woken up the next morning alone.

Luther’s grip on my neck tightened, bringing me back to the present. The look in his eyes was more intense than it had been that night, harder and lacking the raw eagerness he’d had to own me in every way. We’d spent years healing from my betrayal, but it had left many scars. We’d built an incredible life together, and yet we still had a long way to go to reach the level of trust he’d once given me.

The trust I’d always had in him remained, he’d earned it over and over again, but knowing it was there and showing it were two different things.

I forced myself to relax. To let Luther take his time, turning to face the counter to he could massage the oil over my back. His fingers dug into muscles that were still tight even though I’d lost most of the tension that usually settled in from the moment I woke in the morning. Luther focused on them, letting out a soft laugh when I hissed at the deep ache.

“I’m waiting for you to tell me it’s too much, Xavier. You’re not a fan of pain.” Luther pressed his lips to my shoulder as he massaged a knot by the curve of my spine. “Though your excuse is usually that you don’t have time to be pampered.”

“I don’t, but you’re right.” I pressed my eyes shut as he continued the torture/massage. “I gave the gift certificate you bought me for the spa to my new assistant.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, Luther went to work on my lower back. “Your doctor said a massage would be good for you.”

“And you’re giving me one.” I grunted at another deep, painful rub. “Thank you.”

“I’m hardly a professional. And giving away my gift was a dick move.” Luther’s tone hardened, but his touch remained the perfect balance between effective and soothing, despite my complaints. He might not be a professional, but even with the pain of his fingers digging into my muscles, he’d gotten me to relax more than any stranger laying me out on a padded table could have. “But I can’t say I’m surprised.”

His hands moved to my ass, and I bowed my head between my arms, resisting the urge to tilt my hips and tempt him to change the game. He wanted to take his time and I wouldn’t rush him.

The way his fingers, slick with more oil, slid over me, I didn’t need to. His hands left me for a moment, followed by the sharp sound of his zipper. Kicking my thighs apart, he pressed into me, hot and hard, easing past the slight resistance of my body and driving in deep. He crossed his arms over my chest, his pelvis flush against my ass, and kissed the side of my neck.

Inhaling slowly, I braced myself as the burn faded away, leaving only the familiar fullness of my man, his firm grip on me, his breath as he whispered in my ear. “Maybe I shouldn’t have given you a choice.”

Before I could respond, Luther shifted back, drawing away from me, then thrusting in. A rough sound escaped my lips as my fingers slipped on the counter and a surge of pleasure sank into my core, spreading out as Luther angled his hips so each stroke within hit my prostate. I bit into my cheek as he reached around me to fist his slick hand around my dick, stroking in time with every slap of flesh.

He was good at keeping me off balance when he wanted to. Already I’d reached the edge of my restraint, ready to find my release, but playing with him this way, even if only for a few months, forced me to hold back. Accepting pleasure had always been difficult for me, but once he took full control of it, I’d stopped caring how vulnerable that moment when I let go made me feel.

Unless I was completely out of my head, he’d keep me like this. Driving me closer and closer to ecstasy, then holding it just out of reach.

“Fuck, Luther.” I gasped in air as he slowed his pace, pulling out completely, then sliding back in so every nerve lit up, keyed to the sensation. “I can’t hold back much longer.”

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“But you will.”

He let out a soft laugh. “Yes. You aren’t begging yet.”

This was the game, with rules I still didn’t fully understand. With Alexander, Luther was careful. Established structure, taught our sub what was expected. Which Alexander needed because his desire to please, to have his efforts rewarded, was part of rebuilding his confidence. Of earning his trust.

With me, Luther steered away from the expected, from the careful order of the life I’d built. While he showed amazing restraint, he didn’t need to be gentle. Gentle would lead to me shutting down. Refusing to give in fully.

As he pistoned in and out, over and over, my whole body tensed. Precum beaded on the tip of my dick, and he spread it with his thumb, letting out a soft moan as his hand tightened at the base of my cock. He didn’t stop moving but added a deep thrust every time he filled me.

The urge to come became an ache, settling at the small of my back and billowing outward, throbbing in my balls, tight and lifted and sending sharp pangs of pleasure up the length of my dick. Every stroke once he released me was a tease because he read me well. The second I jerked, tipping my head back, fighting not to let go too soon, the grip of his hand helped me.

This could continue all night. And part of me wanted it to. The part of me that knew I was never as honest with him, as connected to him, as I was when he had me this desperate. So fucking close to surrendering to all my chaotic emotions that begging didn’t seem that bad. Being vulnerable was safe because he was with me. Because it was exactly what he wanted.

At first, the words escaped me. I released a gritty noise, nothing intelligible, because the feel of him slamming into me over and over stole my ability to speak. But when he slowed again, I clenched down and rasped in enough air to say what he needed to hear.

“Damn it, Luther! Please…please just let me…” Sweat slicked my face, my chest, the hands I had braced on the counter. “I’ll do better. I’m trying. I’m fucking trying. I don’t ever want you to stop, but I can’t keep going. You’re driving me insane.”

Luther slowed his pace, kissing my throat, then bringing his lips to my ear. “We don’t have to stop, Xavier. You’re mine tonight. Sleep in tomorrow. Wait for Alec to come to you and be careful with him. Promise me that and I’ll let you come.”

“I will. Fuck! Luther…” My whole body shook as he tightened his grip on my cock. “I would have anyway. I won’t hurt him any more than I’d hurt you.”

Hand moving up and down my length, hard and fast, Luther nodded with his head on my shoulder. “Good. Then come for me. And know you’ll be doing it again soon. Because I’m not done with you.”

Pleasure tore through me with the strength of every muscle within, fighting to absorb the undulating pressure. I shouted as Luther used his palm to stop my cum from hitting the counter, his calloused skin making already sensitive flesh spark as though every nerve lit up with the flick of an erotic flame. He stroked me slowly as the last few spurts spilled over his hand, his dick still hard inside me.

As my knees buckled, he withdrew, holding me up, smearing my own cum on my skin as he pulled me against him.

Leaning on him, I huffed in as much air as I could manage, brow furrowing as I tipped my head back. “You didn’t—”

“No. I told you I wasn’t done with you.” His lips slanted as he brought them down to mine. “I want you in my bed. And I want you to stay.”

That he planned to use me all night didn’t bother me. His endurance could be overwhelming, but in a way I’d never get enough of. When he was in this mood, I could expect to feel him for days. And I’d need that while he was gone.

But he wanted me worn out, so I’d sleep with him. Actually sleep, too worn out to slip away in the middle of the night because I couldn’t handle waking in the morning relaxed in his arms. I preferred my bed cold. My mornings steeling me for a day where I had to be strong. Detached.

He enjoyed cuddling. Enjoyed soft mornings with lazy smiles over coffee and sweet kisses that didn’t lead to more. All things Alexander could give him. Things he wouldn’t get from the young man for a week. Things Alexander needed as well.

Which I’d be expected to give him but hadn’t the first idea how.

“I think it would have been easier if I’d asked you for a kidney.” Luther pressed his lips to my hair and laughed. “You’re not working tomorrow, Xavier. You’re taking time off to be with Alec.”

“I am…” It had seemed a good idea at the time, but now I wasn’t so sure. “But I still have responsibilities that—”

“That you can manage while being human.”

“I’m always human, Luther. Don’t be ridiculous.” Standing there, naked, made being indignant rather difficult, but I did my best as I gathered my clothes. “Being professional isn’t a bad thing.”

“It is when being held until you’re fully awake makes you feel weak. That’s not professionalism. That’s fear.” Luther grabbed my shoulder before I could step away and pull my clothes back on. “Leave them off. Show me you can do this.”

This being everything I’d avoided because Luther was right. I couldn’t imagine starting the day feeling as exposed as he had me now. As I was whenever I let my guard down and woke by his side, wishing I didn’t have to leave. But a few hours in my own bed and I was able to close myself off from any foolish urges. From the idea that everything I’d built could be taken if I wasn’t the man everyone saw me as.

Cold. Ambitious. And unfeeling.

I wasn’t that man to Luther.

Or to Alexander.

And it was past time I prove it.

“I’m not sure I can.” If nothing else, I’d give Luther honesty. “But I will try.”

Luther smiled and brought his lips to mine. “Which is all I’ve ever wanted from you. But don’t worry. I’ll make it easy.”

“How so?”

“When I’m finished, you won’t want to move.” His lips slanted into an evil smile. “The staff doesn’t come to my room, so you’ll be left with two options.”

Walking naked down the hall, I rubbed my arms, eager to climb into his bed and soak in the heat of his body, while fully aware I’d regret it in the morning. “Which are?”

Luther pulled off his shirt, tossing it in the half-full wicker hamper behind his door, his pants and boxers joining it second later. He slid under the dark blue comforter on his bed, not speaking again until I lay at his side.

He traced a calloused fingertip along my bare arm, clearly in no rush to find his own release. “You walk to your section of the house either completely naked or wearing my clothes, which are much too big for you.”

An option I wouldn’t even consider, and he damn well knew it. This game of his was becoming less appealing by the minute. I frowned, waiting for him to tell me the second option.

“Or…” Raking his fingers into my hair, he tipped my head back and brought his lips to mine. “Alec will come to my room, all sleepy and affectionate and eager to please. You’ll be too worn out to fuck him, so you’ll relax and let him bring you coffee. And something to lounge around in once you’re ready to leave my bed.”

“You’ve got this all planned out, do you?” Brow lifted, I held his gaze, torn between wanting to challenge the way he’d assumed control of my entire day, or simply enjoy what sounded like a rather pleasant way to spend it. “What if I decide to keep Alexander here and make him pay for you being so goddamn manipulative?”

Kissing me again, Luther laughed. “I’m sure he’d enjoy that very much.”