Her Prince

Christoffer skimmed his hands over the medal embellishments above the left breast pockets on his formal military uniform laid out on his bed. He didn’t know what they were for, or how he had earned them. His older brother Lu had the same medals on his uniform. Lu earned them. Lu had actually served in the military as the first born and heir to the throne of Denmark. Christoffer, as the third child, knew his role as the spare to the heir wouldn’t come to pass. Soon, Lu would get married to the dragon he called a fiancée. Christoffer had no doubt a little bundle of joy would soon follow. He hoped. Christoffer needed to keep up with his carefree lifestyle.

Christoffer stared at the uniform once more. He only felt like an imposter when he wore it and paraded in it as the second son of King Lauritz. His father must have seen what kind of a screw up he would be. Father had spent his time tutoring Lu on the right and wrongs of a great ruler. Father had even amended the law to allow a female child to inherit the crown. So the throne had an heir, a spare, and a screw up.

Christoffer grabbed his leather jacket from the closet. At the noise coming from the ballroom, he was sure at least fifty guests had arrived. His mother’s balls were the perfect place for people to further their social standing with society. People who usually wouldn’t interact, who would gossip about each other, feigned a friendship for the night. Mothers paraded their daughters for him and Lu. That’s how Lu had met Britta, the venomous snake. She pretended to be all sweet when they first met, but once Lu had put the ring on her finger, announced their marriage, and started planning the wedding, she had shown her true colors. Nothing dazzled about her anymore, but sadly Lu couldn’t see it. Christoffer definitely wasn’t going to attend. With Lu now off the market, duty bound him to dance with the eligible girls who attended the ball. He needed to get out of there. Christoffer climbed out his window and used the vine that twined around the whole palace to climb down. Christoffer went for his sports car parked outside the palace gates for an easy getaway.

He brought his Aston Martin to a screeching halt outside one of his favorite clubs. Christoffer saw the bouncers whispering into their radios. No doubt the owner had been informed of his arrival and everyone in the VIP area was being shuffled out. A crowd gathered around his car. He cursed silently. Keeping the public at a distance was one thing his bodyguards were good for. Since he ditched them back at the palace, he would have to settle for the club bouncer. Christoffer put on his best playboy smile and waved at his adoring public. When he got to the VIP area, it had been stocked the way he liked it, with women and booze. Christoffer didn’t mind these kinds of women hanging around him. They knew he wasn’t going to offer them anything more than a one-night stand, a night of fun and pleasure. He sat on the plush leather chair and let the women cater to his every need.

Later, though Christoffer didn’t know how long, his alcohol hazed gaze could watch the crowd part like the red sea. “Oh shit,” Christoffer said.

Christoffer tried to get up, but one of his lady friends decided to make herself comfortable on his lap. The royal bodyguards emerged from the crowd in a diamond formation. Christoffer would bet his right arm that they were protecting Lu. His brother stepped forward, a disappointed scowl marring his baby-like face.

“You couldn’t attend mother’s ball? Really Fer?” Lu crossed his arms over his chest, reminding Christoffer of their father.

Christoffer put the girl off him. He walked to his brother’s side. His plan was to appear compliant then when they were outside he would jump in his car and get away. “How did you find me?”

“Father and I expected you to pull a stunt like this.” The amused look on Lu’s face confused him. “The window? Wow Rapunzel, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Haha! Very funny. I don’t appreciate being followed around like a child.”

“If the shoe fits. Listen little brother, I understand why you would rather be here with all these attractive women instead of the debutants, but you broke our mama’s heart.” Lu put his arm around Christoffer’s shoulders. “She’s looking forward to showing off her proud bull to all the young fillies.”

“No way. They might look nice, pretty and sweet. But once you propose, they turn into Britta. I’m not getting myself into the same mousetrap you did.” He shivered at the thought. He couldn’t imagine being confined in the vows of matrimony with any woman, let alone a woman like Britta. “I’d rather climb the Eiffel Tower and jump.”

“Tell me about it.”

Christoffer stopped and curiously studied his brother. He couldn’t believe what he heard. Unlike him, everything Lu said or did had meaning. So the comment definitely meant something. “So did you discover that Cinderella is actually worse than Methuselah?”

“I broke the engagement. I saw her interact with the servants and it left a lot to be desired. It was a mistake from the beginning.”

They stopped next to Christoffer’s car. Christoffer leaned on it and let out a bark of laughter. “I thought you said she just needed a little getting used to.”

“I’m not about to condemn myself to a life of misery to please Father. This ball is my chance at picking a replacement.”

Christoffer jumped into the driver’s seat. “We must make haste dear brother. Your future bride awaits you, and with the crop mother invited, I bet one is ripe for the picking.”

“Sir!” one of the bodyguards stepped forward.

Christoffer could tell they were studying him. He half-expected them to give him a sobriety test.

“Don’t worry,” Lu reassured him. “I’ll make sure my little brother drives under the limit.”

Once Lu got into the car, Christoffer sped off. He wanted to give their security a chase they would never forget. They barely made it to the main road when loud honking filled the night air, followed by the sound of metal folding and the odor of burnt rubber. Then darkness.

* * * *

Christoffer woke in the darkest hour of the night stuck in a dream as he tossed half-sick between grotesque reality and the savage frightening dreams. But they weren’t dreams.

He was running away from his demons. As much as he tried to open his eyes he couldn’t escape the darkness. The soreness was real, but he couldn’t move his body. Christoffer tried to call out but could only manage was a faint gasp of pain. A triangular formed light pierced through the darkness.

“Help,” Christoffer whispered as he tried to make out what was coming toward him.

“Fer,” Alisa whispered, “Fer, are you awake?”

“Alisa,” Christoffer called out, “Alisa, is that you?”

The light went on and he squinted. Though desperate to get out of the darkness, he couldn’t stand the brightness.

“Turn it off!”

Alisa turned the light off and settled with a small reading light. Moving to the side of the bed and sitting down, Alisa held his hand as she wept. “Fer, what happened?”

The last thing he remembered was being in the car with his brother, then darkness. Christoffer closed his eyes to push the memory further but he only saw darkness.

“Where is Lu?” The pain intensified, the tighter Alisa held onto his hand, but he didn’t say anything. Christoffer needed some human contact and apparently, and so did she. “Where is Lu?”

But she didn’t answer. Alisa cried out his name.

“Alisa, sweetheart.” Terms of endearment always worked with his sister. Christoffer treated her as if she was younger than he. Since Alisa’s the only girl, he and Lauritz had shielded her. “Look at me, tell me where Lu is.”

“There was an accident.” Alisa cried.

Christoffer thought as much. He couldn’t move much and that part still bothered him. Christoffer could tell he was back at home, so it must not be too bad. He chuckled. “Oh no, this is the third car this month. Let me guess, father and mother are giving him a piece of their minds.”

Whenever his brother could, he assumed all blame and responsibility. It had kept Christoffer out of trouble so far.

“Oh Fer!” Alisa whined before breaking down once more.

Something was wrong. Alisa wasn’t laughing or mimicking their parents. She was crying and this wasn’t like the times she faked tears to get her way. Christoffer tried to sit up unsuccessfully.

“Why can’t I move?” Christoffer moaned as the sharp agony held him in place.

Alisa got up and turned on the light, standing aside as he took in the gravity of the situation. His leg was strung up on his bed frame, while his arm lay by his side, immobile. Christoffer raised his other arm and pulled off the linens, trying to find the source of the stabbing pain. A white bandage wrapped his chest. He widened his eyes in disbelief as he dropped his head back on the pillow.

“There is no way Lauritz is going to let Lu off the hook for this one,” Christoffer mumbled as he stared up at the light. “Alisa, get Lu for me.”

Alisa didn’t move.

“Alisa did you hear me?”

Alisa sank to the ground and burst out crying. The urge to stand up and go to his sister overwhelmed him, but he couldn’t move.

“Alisa, come here and tell me why you are crying.”

“I’m going to get Papa.” Alisa ran out of his room. She screamed for their father.

Christoffer lay back, searching for the words to get him and his brother out of trouble. The broken arm and leg would only get him so far. He wondered what kind of injuries Lu had and how he would get him out of the trouble he was in. When his father walked in, the wheels reeling in his mind stopped. Christoffer stared at the disheveled man, so unlike his perfect debonair father. His eyes were swollen and red, and his whole body shook.

“Papa, I’m sorry.”

His father enveloped him in his arms. Papa’s whole body shuddered and he sobbed. Christoffer stared at his sister who hung back crying.

“Papa, what’s going on? Where is Lu?”

The king pulled away and looked into his eyes and said, “You are the Crown Prince now.”

“What? Father what happened tonight is my fault.” Christoffer couldn’t believe his father had passed Lu for the throne just because of this accident.

“Lu is dead.” Papa took a step back and moved toward the door.

Christoffer stared at him in disbelief until he disappeared. His breath caught in his chest as his father’s voice echoed in his ears. He shook his head as tears rolled down his temples. His nightmares were memories.

“I want to see Lu.” Christoffer tried to get off the bed but he couldn’t. Too many things held him down. “Alisa, help me.”

After a couple of sedatives from his doctor, Christoffer calmed down and fell asleep. The next morning he watched from his bedroom window as the funeral procession began.

Lu’s body was covered in the Denmark flag and slowly loaded onto a horse drawn carriage. Alisa and Papa held onto Mama as they followed the carriage behind. His mother hadn’t been in to see him and he couldn’t blame her. Christoffer had caused her the greatest pain ever and because of that, he couldn’t bring himself to look into Lu’s coffin and say goodbye.

“How did it happen?” His father kept asking.

* * * *

Alma blinked, trying to clear the cloud of tears from her eyes. It had been one week since Kevin’s death and they were still asking her the same question. “How did it happen?” Alma stood in the middle of the living room staring up at a portrait hanging on the wall. This was the hundredth person who had come up to her with that same question. She stared on as tears bubbled out of her eyes thinking about the night her life had taken a drastic twist.

Alma and Kevin walked toward the movie theatre in downtown Nairobi. A week ago, almost eleven o’clock at night, Alma had snuck out for the sole purpose of enjoying this evening with her boyfriend. They had agreed that tonight was the time in their five-year relationship to finally welcome the physical part of being together. They had discussed going straight to the main event, but they wanted this night to be perfect, and dinner and a movie was the start of a perfect night.

Alma rubbed her sweaty palms over her jeans. The movie credits rolled up and her heart thumped in rhythm with the soundtrack. Soon her virginity would end as well. Though she was seventeen, she had known him for half her life and dated him for five years.

Kevin leaned in. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” Alma tried to pull her sweaty hand away, but he held tight. Kevin gave her hand a couple of squeezes that made splotchy noises because of the sweat, but he never let go.

“I love you, and sweaty hands will never make me not want to hold you.” Kevin kissed her exposed shoulder.

Alma swam in his brown eyes and dove into his sweet words, forgetting where they were. She hung onto his hand as they walked through the alley. Dark shadows took shape, rippling away from the light and taking the form of a man.

“Babe, I don’t think we should have used the shortcut.” The edgy nervousness in her voice was hard to hide.

Kevin held her closer and said in a hushed tone, “Just try not paying them any attention. If you don’t give them a reason to, they won’t attack you.”

Alma tried his strategy, but when the stampede of feet rushed up to them, she knew nothing would prevent what was about to happen. Kevin stopped and pinned her between his body and the wall, knocking the wind out of her. She grabbed the back of his jacket and buried her face in it. His body so close she felt the rapid thuds of his heart. Alma didn’t look up but just listened and waited.

The four men closed in on them. A few feet away from them, they each pulled out their weapon of choice. The silver of the machete gleamed in the moonlight and caught Alma’s eye.

“Don’t look.” Kevin ordered Alma, but it was too late.

“Why are you keeping her away from us?” One voice in the midst of three other grumbling ones, asked.

“We don’t want any trouble. Just tell me what you want.” Kevin shifted his weight from one foot to the other, as if he was getting ready to attack. His body moved from side to side, obviously trying to get a visual of where the threats were.

“We want her.” The stranger’s words slurred as he emphasized ‘her.'

The guy with the machete took a step closer. Kevin moved to advance to him but Alma held desperately to his jacket.

“Let go.” Kevin's voice had a tone she had never heard before. “I want you to run.”

“No!” Alma refused to leave him here. Staying with him seemed safer. “I want to stay here with you.”

Kevin pulled his shoulder away so hard that her nail broke. Alma yelped and lost her grip on his jacket, and one step at a time he created a gap between him and her. She pressed her body back to the wall, secretly hoping it would open up and swallow her whole. His fingers balled into a fist at his sides as he moved around and she followed. Soon all four guys stared straight at them. She had to escape. But she couldn’t leave him. Alma refused to.

“Come with me.” Alma held onto his hand but he only pulled it away.

Without breaking his concentrated stare at the four men, he shoved her back then roared, “Go!” Kevin glanced back at her for a second then in a sweet tone he said, “I love you. Please go.”

The gentle look in his eyes was enough to convince her. Alma turned and ran as fast as she could. But then she remembered she never said that she loved him. When she glanced back she saw the silver machete raised in the air and brought down with great force. When it came back up, no silver glinted, just blood. She waited for a couple of minutes but she didn’t see Kevin get up.

Slowly she backed away before she turned and ran. The sight of the blood seemed to have given her a boost. There must be a police station in the area. Alma didn’t stop running. She bumped into people, fell but got back up. The tears clouded her vision, but she never stopped until she saw the blue cabin with red and yellow stripes. The police post.

Alma stood in the middle of police officers and civilians then shrieked, “Help me!”

* * * *

“How did it happen?”

When the question came once more, she only existed in her own little world. Alma answered, “Just look forward. If you don’t give them a reason to, they won’t attack you.”

Someone held her by the shoulder and turned her toward the exit. “Let’s go home,” her mother said.

Alma didn’t resist. She let herself be led out of the house, but she came across another picture on the closed coffin. Kevin smiled at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. Shaking her mother’s arms off, she took a step toward the picture, until it was inches away from her face. Alma lifted trembling fingers to his face, and traced his eyes, nose and lips. Closing her eyes, she memorized them. Since the night of the murder, she had seen him as blood on a machete, and now she saw his face.

“He’s so beautiful,” Alma whispered.

She stole a quick glance as her mother whisked her away.

On the day of Kevin's funeral, her mother told her, "You will stay home. It will be too painful for you to go to the funeral."

When her mother left the room, she climbed out of the window and walked to the cemetery. By the time she covered the ten kilometers, the burial ended. Alma roamed around the freshly dug graves and found Kevin's. Lying next to the grave, she draped her arm over the flowers and soil.

As the night of the attack played in her mind, Alma tossed in her sleep. Alma woke up in terror covered in sweat, and she realized she was back home. The grief hit her once more, part of her hoping that the dark would swallow her whole. If she was being punished for being the one who survived she would not live. She marched into the kitchen. Alma pulled open the top draw and picked up a knife. The gleam it had in the moonlight reminded her of the one used to kill Kevin. Alma put her hand on the chopping board and drew the knife through her wrist, first one and then the other.

Finally she felt like she was being set free. Alma went outside dripping a trail of blood. Leaning against the wall, she breathed in the night air as the cold breeze gently blew past her, carrying her with it.

One year later...

Christoffer stood with his family on the balcony and watched the crowds of mourners lay flowers at their gates. His memory had become clearer. A year after his brother’s death, he was the only one who knew what had really happened. He stared at the building size picture of his brother Lauritz Lars Termansen-Mahler with the dates of his birth and death looking back at him. The kindness in his eyes killed Christoffer each time he saw the picture. He had robbed his mother, his sister, and father of those eyes. And he had robbed his people of a gentle leader.

Christoffer took a step back and bumped into someone.

“Sorry,” he mumbled then turned back and saw Britta, Lauritz's ex-fiancée. Britta always imposed herself on Lauritz in life and in death.

“I don’t believe my ears. Christoffer Termansen-Mahler is apologizing to me,” Britta said in a sarcastic tone as the corners of her lips rose in a sly sneer.

“I was apologizing to my shoe. It must be traumatized after coming into contact with your scales,” Christoffer spat out then took a step away. “What are you doing here? Lu hated you.”

Britta moved as he moved then rose to her tiptoes to reach his ear. “It seems you hated him more.”

“What do you mean?” Christoffer turned his head a fraction to the side.

Britta snickered. “I’m not the one who killed my brother so I would be the Crown Prince.”

“Move, snake.” Alisa stepped between them and shoved Britta aside.

His muscles coiled and his shoulders went stiff he balled his fingers into a fist. Christoffer was about to spin around and give her what she deserved when his father moved to his side and held him in place.

“Father!” Christoffer hissed.

“People are watching.” Lauritz waved toward the crowd. “Britta, this isn’t the time or place.”

“Yes, your highness.” Britta bowed and took a step back.

“They are your priority.” His father urged him forward, and Christoffer had no choice but to wave to the people he felt he had betrayed.

* * * *

“Father, I want to be an exchange student in the United States.” Christoffer had waited until it was just him and his family at the dinner table to bring his idea up.

Denmark had begun to suffocate him, especially with the new speculations about the accident in the tabloids. Christoffer needed a vacation, he told himself, but the truth was he needed to run away. He needed to find a hole big enough to hide him and his shame.

“Why?” Father didn’t look up. Christoffer watched as his gaze shifted to his wife's trembling hand. Slowly, he put his hand over hers and his fingers closed around it.

“I think it will be good for...” Christoffer searched for the proper term. “My rule if I learn everything I can about other nations. What better way than to go to their schools?”

Alisa glanced at him and winked with a cheeky smile. She, more than anyone, would miss him, but she understood because she'd shared his nightmares and memories.

“I think it’s a good idea father.” His sister had found her voice once she had been made the elder child, but had no ambitions for the crown. Alisa didn’t find it necessary to be queen to prove her worth. Alisa was much like their mother and being queen would interfere with her private life and dedication to charities.

“All right, but you won’t go alone.”

Christoffer was taken aback by his father's answer. Excitedly he answered, “Of course father.” He'd agree to any conditions, as long as he could escape.

“Richard, will come with you.”

Richard had been his late brother’s personal aide, who became his personal aide once Lauritz died. Richard had also been witness to Christoffer’s mental torture and often offered remedies, one of which was to talk about it.

“I leave next week. I had already applied but I didn’t think you would agree.”

Father didn’t react. His eyes were still on his mother who had stopped eating. “If that is what you wish. Do they have the proper security prepared for your arrival?”

“I haven’t told them I am Prince Christoffer Termansen-Mahler. I'm attending the school as Christoffer Larsen a student from Denmark University.” Christoffer got nervous, expecting his father to take back his permission. Christoffer planned to use his middle name to draw less attention to himself.

“I suppose you will want to go with a private jet and not the royal jet and without the military escort,” Father mumbled and then beckoned Clark.

“I would appreciate that. Or I could take a commercial flight.” When the King snorted, Christoffer knew that was out of the question.

The rest of the dinner continued in silence and only when Christoffer was alone with Alisa in the garden did they show their excitement.

“I’m going to be lonely without you here.” Alisa said as she hopped on her brother’s back.

Christoffer ran around the garden mimicking a horse. “Mikkel will be with you.”

“I think he wants to ask me to marry him,” Alisa said as she slid off is back.

Christoffer faced his sister with a stare of black suspicion. Christoffer was acquainted with Mikkel. He used to see him in the clubs he went to, and nothing about his demeanor screamed out husband. He had let their relationship go on for so long because he knew they wouldn’t marry. Alisa’s marriage would be a royal arrangement, especially now that the ‘spare’ was next in line to the throne. King Lauritz must ensure that Alisa’s husband was worthy to be King—just in case Christoffer’s stupidity would get him killed as it did his brother.

“How do you know that?”

“He keeps saying he has something to ask me.”

“Don’t rush into it,” Christoffer warned then gave her a kiss on the cheek. As he walked away he bumped into Mikkel on his way to the garden. “Speak of the devil.”

“Fer…Christoffer.”

“I hear you can’t wait to bear your girlfriend’s last name.” Christoffer teased, but it was true. To marry into their family Mikkel would have to take his wife’s name and not vice versa, especially since he wasn’t of blue blood. “Mikkel Termansen-Mahler, then at the end of that they should add ‘wife.’”

From his bedroom window Christoffer watched his sister, thinking twice about going away. Clark entered with his clipboard attached to his chest as usual, and before he said anything Christoffer said, “Watch out for that one. There is something about him that doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Don’t worry, sire, we have our eye on him.” Clark handed Christoffer his clipboard, “Richard has all this information, but I thought you would want to see them yourself.”

“Thank you.” Christoffer flipped over them and then it all began to sink in. He was going to leave soon and hopefully get some time to himself.

* * * *

“Can I get two vodkas and a beer?” Alma held the tray above her head as people pushed past her trying to get to the bar. On Friday night all the college students came to Smoky’s to unwind after the big basketball game.

“Alma! Don’t forget to get the cash.” Smoky yelled out from behind the bar.

“I won’t!” she yelled back.

“I’m going out tonight. Are you coming?” Jacqueline her classmate asked.

“No.”

Alma had been at California State University Fullerton for a year now and the only people she knew at the school were her elder brother Austen—who was in his final year—and her social butterfly of a roommate, Jacqueline. Alma’s eldest sister, Amani, had sent for her once she got a call from their mother who had explained Alma’s state as being in a trance, immobile and unresponsive. A psychiatrist, Amani had also married a psychologist. They had professionally advised her mother to let her come and study in the States. They said she needed a change of scenery.

Even after a year, Kevin’s memory had followed her. More times than necessary, she had banged on her brother's dorm room door needing a safe place to sleep. But not even her brother could protect her from the demons that haunted her dreams.

Alma scanned the faces around the crowded bar—the Jocks laughing and drinking, the cheerleaders sitting on their boyfriends’ laps, lurching onto them and trying to be part of their boyfriends’ identity. Then there was everyone else, happy. With so many different kinds of people here, she fit nowhere and felt lonelier every single day. She had vowed to never let anyone else close. But Jacquie was different, she never let anyone ‘give her permission’ to do anything, it was the self-proclaimed Latina fire in her. Alma couldn’t shake her off as much as she tried. And because of her, she wasn’t in her dorm room studying or trying to study, she had a job.

“You never want to go out,” Jacquie whined.

“Do you even know those guys?” Alma followed her gaze to a group of seniors.

“No, but your brother does.” Jacquie pointed toward the door, “I don’t buy his rule of not dating his sister’s friends.”

“He doesn’t.” Her brother walked in laughing, with an equally tall guy at his side. They joined the large group of seniors and when Austen saw Alma, he sent away their waiter and called for her. Jacquie started toward him but Alma pulled her back.

“I’m quite sure he’s asking for me.” Alma laughed.

“Yes, but his friend needs someone to serve him.” Jacquie pouted her lips and blew her a kiss.

“God help you,” Alma teased.

“When are you going to start dating my little soul girl?” Alma hated the sympathy in Jacquie’s eyes whenever she asked her about her love life.

She was sure that Jacquie thought she couldn’t snag a guy of her own, that she had been having trouble adapting to the new country and the different environment. Alma had never been in a situation where she would date different guys. Alma had been with Kevin since the day she discovered an interest in boys as more than just playmates. She didn’t know how to interact with the opposite sex. How was she supposed to approach them? What’s she supposed to say when they approached her? She had lived in fear for so long, taking comfort in her solitude. How was she supposed to explain to a guy that she was terrified by her own shadow?

Getting a guy that would accept to a lunch date instead of a dinner date, a guy who would be content with getting her home before six pm and one who wouldn’t mind her brother tagging along sometimes seemed like too much of a hassle. Besides she didn’t think she would be comfortable with a stranger. Alma’s mind would go back to the dark places, half expecting him to try and kidnap her or kill her. She didn’t do well with strangers.

“Hey!” Jacquie snapped her fingers. “Where did you go to? Are you thinking of a hot saucy guy? If you don’t want him, I’ll take him off your hands.”

“I’m thinking about my brother,” Alma lied. “The inter-Greek games are coming up. Austen’s been training like crazy.”

“I don’t mind massaging his aching muscles. As long as he doesn’t mind doing it in the nude.” Jacquie gave her a suggestive wink.

Alma thought her lunch would come back up. Her best friend, actually her only friend hooking up with her brother was a disturbing thought. But Jacquie had been after Austen since she had met him in her first year. Austen had helped Alma move her stuff into the apartment, and Jacquie had followed him around like a lost puppy. Austen always laughed off her advances, and Jacquie laughed along with him. But Alma saw how hurt she was each time Austen brushed her off.

“I’ll make you a deal. If you manage to get my brother to date you, I’ll ask one of his frat brother’s out.”

“You are so on. One day your brother is going to want a taste of this Latina spice.”

I wish I was that confident. Alma smiled, trying to make sure Jacquie didn’t see how low she really felt.

* * * *

“Who’s that?” Christoffer asked as his eyes travelled up the waitress’ long dark legs to her brown eyes. Her body put his body on high alert. All he wanted to do was grab her and get lost in the curves. “She is—” He was going to say juicy.

“My sister, who you will stay away from and keep the private parts of your body, private,” Austen warned a low growl in his voice.

“In other words ,you are saying I should keep it in my pants.” He nodded then said, “Gotcha! What about the other one?” Christoffer chuckled. He understood how it was to be protective of a sister. If anyone had thoughts of Alisa like he was having for the girl before him, Christoffer would wring his neck.

“Keep away from her. Keep away from all my sister’s friends. That’s what I do. I can’t handle seeing my sister upset especially if it’s about unnecessary drama.” Austen warned.

The threatening gleam in his eyes was replaced by a smile when the girl walked up to them. Christoffer missed his sister as he watched Austen pull his little sister into his arms and hug her. “Hey beautiful.”

“Hey.” She turned her gaze to Christoffer. “Hi, I’m Alma.”

The look in her eyes had his heart in a vice grip. Christoffer couldn’t tell what it was or why it had that effect on him.

“I’m Christoffer.” He was about to shake her hand when another waitress intercepted.

“And I am Jacqueline, but you can call me Jacquie.”

Christoffer chuckled. The women were so different from each other. Alma was reserved and ignorant of how beautiful her body was, judging from the clothes she was wearing. But Jacquie was the type to get in your face, and her tight tank top and mini skirt told a story of how experienced she was.

“What time are you guys off? I’ll walk you home.” Austen offered.

“No bodyguards today, just you?” Jacquie asked. “Or are the boys from the football team tired of doing everything their quarterback wants?”

“Just me, no football team.” Austen replied.

“And me, if you don’t mind.” Christoffer directed the question at Alma but Jacquie jumped in. He got a feeling that Alma always took a back seat in the conversation even if they were about her. But what he didn’t understand was why she had to be escorted to her dorm. However, Christoffer was glad to be spending some time with her.

“We don’t mind.” Jacquie winked at him before walking away with her hips swaying.

“I’ll get you guys something to drink.” Alma gave Austen a hug then left.

“Your sister is quiet,” Christoffer said once she left.

“I’m just glad she’s even speaking and out of her room.” Austen stared at her with a concerned look on his face. Christoffer knew that look—the same look Lu had given him whenever he was in trouble. Concerned, but resolved he couldn’t do anything to help.

A few hours passed and Smoky locked up the bar. Alma and Jacquie were among the last to leave. Jacquie decided to go out, and after a while of trying to get Christoffer to go with her she gave up. Christoffer wanted to go with Austen and Alma. A silent sadness in her eyes pulled him in. He felt this need to know her pain, to understand it, and hopefully, come to understand why she was suffering alone.

They walked into Alma’s room and Christoffer bit back a smile when Austen did a security sweep of the room. It reminded Christoffer of his security detail, checking even the toilet bowl for threats. Once Austen was satisfied nothing was out of place they left Alma in the room.

“You are very protective of your sister. I’m exactly the same way with my sister but I don’t do a security sweep of her room,” Christoffer joked.

“A year ago there was an…incident. I would have lost her forever.” Austen’s voice cracked. Austen looked like he had aged a hundred years in one second.

“I know how you feel.” Knowing, was an understatement. Christoffer lived it. His night taking a turn for the worse, Christoffer didn’t go out as they had earlier agreed he went back to his room. He sat at his window and stared out at the rest of the campus wondering where he would have been at that moment if things had turned out differently that night a year ago. As he looked up at the dark sky, littered with stars, he couldn’t help but think about Alma’s eyes and the sadness radiating from them. All of a sudden he felt the need to know what happened to her, to know…just to know.

Christoffer left his room and returned to Alma’s door. He stood for a while debating whether he should knock. What would he ask her? What would she tell him? In the end, he didn’t knock, but instead left with the same urgency he'd arrived with.

* * * *

Alma sat in the lecture hall and stared at the white board in front of her. But she didn’t say anything and couldn’t hear anything. She had zoned out once more, doodling Kevin’s name on her notebook.

“Hey, I like your bracelets,” someone whispered in her ear. Alma’s head snapped toward him. Christoffer. In the year since her arrival, no one had ever tried to sit next to her. The frost gate she had built around herself was enough to keep them away.

Alma looked down at her bracelets and started playing with them. She was never without them, the wide leather one around her right wrist and on the other, an array of different color stringed, beaded and platted wool bands. They hid her secret, her shame and her guilt.

“Hey, Christoffer, is this even your class?” Alma looked at her lecturer trying to pretend to be focused. Diplomacy was one of her favorite classes. It made her look like a geek, but she had been looking forward to this class all day. She tried to tune Christoffer out but he was like a persistent bee on a rose.

“You can call me Fer, and no, but I heard that this was your class.” Christoffer turned her notebook toward him. Alma tried to get it back, but his grip was stronger. She saw how his smile dropped when he read out Kevin’s name. “Kevin, is this your boyfriend?”

“You can say that.” Alma said as she swallowed hard. A lot of things could be said about her state of mind. Referring to Kevin as her boyfriend had been the easiest thing she would ever admit to. But admitting that Kevin and their love had ended was difficult. Alma took the notebook back and stared at Kevin’s name, like she was about to conjure him out of thin air.

“Where is he?” Christoffer asked.

Alma blinked back tears. She wished that he would go away. She just wanted to disappear, anything to escape Christoffer prodding at her healing wounds. “I’d rather not talk about that.” Her voice was horse. Alma tried to clear the emotion lodged in her throat. She wanted to try and seem normal so that he wouldn’t ask any more questions. She wanted to be fine, she wanted him to see that she was perfectly unaffected by the subject of Kevin. But her emotion betrayed her and the tears fell free.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.” Christoffer smiled trying to lighten the mood. “I’m surprised your brother hasn’t taken care of him.”

“Austen didn’t get that chance. Someone else beat him to it. Excuse me.” In a rush she ran out of the lecture room with everyone’s gazes following her. Alma didn’t bother to check if Christoffer followed her. She bumped into a couple of people in the hallway, each time anyone came close she jumped in fright. It was broad daylight, but Christoffer had dragged her ten paces back. Alma felt like everyone knew her secret that they all wanted to know what happened, that they were out to get her. With her head low, she rushed out of the building and ran to her dorm room.

Alma bundled herself in her bed as she sobbed. She had managed to make it a whole morning without crying but Christoffer managed to break her streak. Her heart jumped into her throat when she heard a knock on the door. Although she tried not to admit it, she was terrified of being alone, of hearing strange sounds. Alma grabbed a large boning knife from under her pillow. It didn't have a place in the kitchen let alone the room but it made her feel safe and to an extent in control.

“It’s Christoffer,” he yelled from the other side of the door.

Alma unlocked the door and rushed him in without a word, then bolted the door. When she felt safe she turned to look at him with a questioning glance.

“Why are you here?”

“I just needed to know you were fine. I didn’t mean to upset you.” His eyes trailed to the large knife she twisted in her hand, “Are you butchering a whole cow in here?”

She didn’t bother putting it down, but neither did she drop her gaze. “I’m fine you can leave now.”

“Are you sure you want me to go. You look…you look terrified.”

“That’s because I am.” Alma unlocked the door but she didn’t open it. “You need to go.”

“I don’t think I should leave you alone when you feel scared.”

“I am scared twenty-five hours in a day eight days a week. Are you going to sit with me and hold my hand every single second?” Her chest heaved as fresh tears poured down her cheeks, “You can’t help me, and Austen can’t help me, no one can help me. I’m scared for life and I am accepting that. So please leave.”

* * * *

Christoffer winced as a vice grip of emotion squeezed his heart. He seemed to be having those feelings each time he was with Alma, or thought about her. Everything inside him wanted to stay but he couldn’t impose himself. He wanted to grab her and hold her tight in his arms but he didn't. He knew how it felt to want to be alone. So he left, but he headed straight for Austen’s room.

“Who’s Kevin?”

“Who told you about him?” Austen got up from his desk and walked towards him a worried look on his face.

“Your sister was scribbling that name on her notebook.” Christoffer began, “Then I asked her who it was and she started to cry.”

“Leave it alone.” Austen sat back down, sighing, his shoulders drooped.

“Your sister is in pain.” Christoffer huffed in frustration then went on, “Maybe I could—”

“Help?” Austen asked. “Maybe you could help? Is that what you were going to say? My eldest sister and her husband are shrinks and they couldn’t help. We managed to get Alma’s foot in the land of the living, leave her alone and let her get the other one in on her own.”

“Maybe she just needs someone who doesn’t know what happened to talk to her.”

“We don’t know what happened.” Austen took a deep breath then released it, shedding all the frustration along with it, “All we were told was that Kevin died saving Alma’s life. She won’t talk about it. I moved out of my frat house so that I would be close to her. Alma’s nightmares got too much for Jacquie to handle alone.”

Christoffer went silent. He knew about the nightmares, about the memories that wouldn’t leave you in peace. He knew about not being able to say what happened, to be caught in this never-ending loop of pain. Alma was trapped and he knew how it felt.

“Do you mind if I talk to her?”

Austen let out a frustrated growl. He fell back on his beanbag chair, his hands over his face. He looked like a man who had grabbed his last straw and was still sinking into the depth of the watery abyss. He was about to give up, but something urged him to hold on. “Just let her be.”

Christoffer went to Smoky’s early and sat at the bar, hoping to get Alma to talk with him before any customers came in. He was staring into the crowd when she walked in. Alma’s eyes met his and immediately he saw that she wanted to retreat. He smiled as she moved toward him.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” she whispered.

“Don’t worry about it, where is your trusty sidekick?”

“Who Jacquie?”

Jacquie came up behind her and said, “No Freddie the butcher knife. Alma told me what happened. I’m really sorry about it.”

“Could I talk to you?” Christoffer asked Alma.

“Maybe later.” Alma disappeared into the back.

The night was coming to a close and soon it was just him, Austen, Alma and Jacquie in the bar.

“Hurry up, I’ll drop you off and go out with the guys,” Austen said.

“I can take them home if you need me to. I’m not going anywhere tonight.” Christoffer put in, trying not to seem too involved in Alma.

“It’s fine Austen, you go out and Christoffer can walk me home.” Christoffer could see that Alma was trying to be brave for the sake of her brother. She gave Austen a weak smile. “I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Austen glanced back and forth between Christoffer and Alma. He looked like he was going to say no, and Christoffer held his breath.

“Call me when you get home, and check everything before you leave.”

“Austen,” Alma said.

“I will.” Christoffer answered.

Alma went to change and when she came back it was just Christoffer there. “Thank you for offering to walk me to my dorm. Austen just needs a break from my craziness. Even if it’s just for one night.”

“It’s a brother’s duty to take care of their sisters.”

“He’s had more than his fair share.” Christoffer’s heart broke when he realized that Alma thought of herself as a burden.

“It’s just us?” Christoffer asked.

“Yeah,” Alma nervously combed her fingers through her hair then cleared her voice and said, “Let’s go.”

Christoffer held the door open for her and let her lead the way. Alma hesitated.

Sensing her fear, he wrapped his arm around her, “Don’t worry, I got you.”

They walked in silence with only the stars as their light. The lights were out and she edged closer to him and he welcomed her. Alma held onto him tight as she could as she mumbled incomprehensible words. Christoffer was stunned into silence. He felt her shake like a leaf in a windstorm. He couldn’t understand a word she was saying, so eventually he gave up. The wetness of her hand seeped through his t-shirt and onto his skin. She was terrified but he didn’t know why. He turned and saw the source of her fear. A group of sorority girls were making their way to their house, but he guessed she didn’t see them that way.

“Calm down, you are all right,” Christoffer whispered to her.

But she didn’t hear him. Alma was deep in her nightmare and couldn’t concentrate on anything. When the girls came she grabbed his hand and pulled him with her as she ran toward her dorm.

“Alma, calm down,” he said at the top of his voice, but never resisted and allowed her to pull him with her.

“We need to get out of here,” Alma mumbled as her eyes widened.

“Let’s go.” Christoffer ran with her and they didn’t stop until they were safely in her room.

Alma went frantically around the room checking all the windows, and double checking. Christoffer checked too, thinking it might calm her down if he assured her everything was locked. She sat on her bed, a knife in her hand as she rocked back and forth. Christoffer stood at the door careful not to startle her. He wasn’t sure if he should disarm her or allow the comfort the knife seemed to give her.

“Alma, you are safe.”

Alma looked up at him and said nothing.

With small slow steps he moved to the bed. Christoffer held her hand in his and loosened her grip on the knife before he chucked it at the corner of the room. She had his fingers in a vice grip, her body trembling and her eyes staring into space. Christoffer eased her back on the bed figuring only sleep would calm her down. But she never let go of his hand. He lay next to her and held her so tight the vibrating fear in her body shook his too.

“Shhh! everything is fine. Nothing is going to happen. I’m here with you.”

It took him a couple of hours before he calmed her down and she finally slept. But Jacquie wasn’t back yet and it wasn't right to leave her alone. So he stayed with her. Christoffer didn’t know he was asleep until he awoke to a sharp pain in his eye followed by a muffled scream. He opened his eyes just in time to dodge a fist. Alma’s jaw clenched, her limbs flew everywhere and her body dripped sweat.

* * * *

The air ran out of her lungs as she ran down the alley. Alma searched for Kevin, but he wasn’t where she had left him. She knew he was dead but didn’t know why she was going back. But she had to protect him the same way he protected her, so when she heard the sounds of footsteps behind her she turned around and started swinging. But each punch cut through a dark shadow and every time she tried to get hold of him she came up with nothing. Kevin wasn’t there; he was a figment of her imagination. When her arms were held down she felt a desperate need to open her eyes.

Alma woke up and she wasn’t staring at the shadow but into Christoffer’s brown eyes. Confused she tried to wiggle out of his hold but the full weight of his body pressed on top of her and she couldn’t move.

“Why are you on top of me?” Alma wheezed out.

“Are you awake?” Christoffer leaned closer.

“Yes, but in a few minutes I will be unconscious if you don’t let me breath.” She gasped.

“Oh sorry,” He rolled off of her and got up to turn the light on. “So you are awake.”

Alma sat up as she tried to catch her breath. “What are you doing here?”

“You don’t remember?”

Alma did remember and she felt embarrassed. “I do and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Christoffer blinked a few times. “You don’t punch that hard. You actually punch like a girl.”

“What are you talking about?” For the first time she noticed that his eyes didn’t match. One belonged to a raccoon while the other belonged to a human. The purple blue pustule seemed to be spreading down to his cheekbone.

“Oh my God, oh my God, I’m sorry.” Alma went to him, pressing her fingers on the spot and making her and him yelp. At the soreness in her knuckles she had no more doubt she had punched him. “You try to help me and I thank you by giving you a black eye.”

“Did you hurt your hand?” He took her hand and examined it, “You should put some ice on it.”

“No, you should stay here and I’ll get you an ice pack for your eye.” She left her room cradling her wounded arm as she cursed herself out. “How awesome of you Alma, the guy tries to help you and you give him a black eye.” Alma grabbed a tray of ice cubes and poured them in a kitchen cloth as her monologue went on, “Next time, why not just stab him in the gut.”

“I would prefer if you didn’t.” Christoffer entered the kitchenette with his hand over his injured eye.

“Here.” She replaced his hand with the iced cloth then made one for herself.

Alma leaned over the kitchen counter arranging ice cubes, avoiding looking directly at him. Eventually she would have to because they were the only two people in the room.

“I think we look pathetic.” Christoffer chuckled.

“Speak for yourself; I look like the girl who beat up a guy a foot taller than me.” She smiled as she waved her fist in the air.

Alma was beginning to feel comfortable as her guard slowly went down.

“I’m from Denmark,” he said.

“I’m from Kenya.”

“I am the last born of three children.”

“Same here, but I am the calmer of the two.”

“I’m the troublemaker.” He stopped then he said, “I love to party.”

“I hate being out in public.” It wasn’t always like this but a lot had changed after that day. The bubbly outgoing girl had turned into conservative and reserved girl, hiding from the world.

“What happened to you?”

“What do you mean?”

Alma’s guard popped up again. She tossed her ice pack aside and moved to the window. She swallowed hard as she stared into the darkness, begging it to stay out. Behind her, Christoffer stood up and put his hand under her elbow and turned her around to face him. He pushed the hair that had spilled over to her face back, and then lifted her head to look up at him.

“Tell me.”

“I have nothing to tell you.” Her resolve weakened against the intensity of his eyes. To save herself she turned away. She walked to the other end of the room. She hadn’t told this story ever. Before she had told one version of it. The plain and simple one, the one that got directly to the point and that was the one she had decided to tell him, “We were mugged and he was killed, and that’s it.”

“I get this feeling that you aren’t telling me everything.” His concerned tone was strained with curiosity.

“I’d like to keep it to myself if you don’t mind.” She spat. Alma took a deep breath and reeled in the hostility. “I’m sorry I don’t mean to be rude especially since you helped me, but that night isn’t a night I would like to relive.”

“But you do relive it and I have the black eye to prove it.”

“Why is it so important to you? What were you doing in my bed anyway, why are you still here?”

Christoffer got up and stood next to her. He leaned into her space and stared into her eyes then said, “Do you want me to leave?”

The immediate answer was no, and as she took a look around she affirmed the answer in her mind. But it never left her lips. Alma started chewing on her fingernails but he pulled them out of her mouth. Christoffer awaited an answer and she would have to speak eventually.

“Yes,” she said.

His expression fell and he opened his mouth as if to say something, but then stopped. Christoffer took his stuff and paused at the door. She didn't move, but bit down on her nails. He opened the door and paused once more, but Alma straightened. Alma wanted to beg him to call her bluff and when he took the step out the door, she lunged forward. But he didn't stop.

Alma faced her room and all the walls and furniture seemed to move toward her. Her breath caught in her chest. She tugged at her t-shirt trying to loosen the V-neck from her neck but as each second passed she couldn't catch her breath. She grabbed at the door handle.

* * * *

Christoffer couldn’t hear anything. He prepared to leave when the door flew open. He stared at her and at the frightened look on her face, and when she threw herself at him he welcomed her with open arms. He held her for a second before he lifted her off the ground and carried her into the room, her feet swinging from side to side as they moved.

“I’m sorry,” Alma cried, “I just can’t handle being alone when it’s dark.”

“It’s fine because I am here with you. And I will be here for you for as long as you need me.” He inclined to kiss her but he buried his face in her hair instead.

“But I need,” She pulled away from him and sank into the sofa, “I need to learn to be alone. Austen will be graduating soon, and Jacquie, no one knows what’s going to happen with Jacquie.”

Christoffer crouched at her side and brushed away her hair so that he could see her tear covered face.

“And you are going to go back to wherever well-mannered boys like you are made and I will be here alone. And I have just proved that I cannot last ten seconds alone.”

“You just have to work at it.” Christoffer leaned into her, the terrified look on her face calling out to his heart. As much as he tried to, he couldn’t help but kiss her.

Alma went stiff for a moment. His heart begged her to respond. He needed comfort as much as she did, even if it was for just a second. When her mouth opened up to him, he sighed and leaned in closer when her hands went around his neck.

“You just need to practice,” Christoffer said against her lips, and she invited him to lay on the couch with her. “I’ll help you.”

Alma sighed. She cuddled in his arms and before long she fell asleep.

Christoffer stared at her peaceful face as she slept, but when Jacquie came stumbling in with Austen he had to pretend he was asleep. Part of him was grateful that he wasn’t in her room. How was he going to explain that to Austen? After he was sure Austen wasn’t going to walk in and rip his skin clear off his body for being in bed with Alma he fell back to sleep.

When he woke up the next morning, his arms were empty. She was gone and so was Austen. But Jacquie sat across from him, with a goofy look on her face. He didn’t get up right away, instead he stared up at the ceiling, taking in the beautiful night he just had and wishing Alma was still in his arms.

“Hey dreamer, you need to get up. I have class in ten minutes.” Jacquie kicked his hanging leg.

“Where is she?”

“It’s Friday. Alma’s been in class for three hours. Austen walked her to class.” Jacquie handed him a mug of coffee.

Christoffer took a sip, but he couldn’t swallow. The sour taste scorched the back of his neck and his body screamed to reject it. But Jacquie’s watchful eye didn’t allow him to spit it back in the cup. So he manned up and with a smile he swallowed it.

“You know you are totally stuck in the friend zone.” Jacquie laughed.

“You and Austen seem to have moved along incredibly.” He snickered.

“I knew you weren’t asleep.” Jacquie chuckled, but then her tone became serious. “Alma is emotionally unavailable and if you hook your wagon onto her, you will only get hurt.”

“I don’t think of her that way,” Christoffer lied.

“Say that to your face each time you mention her name. You need to leave now.” Jacquie took his mug away then went to her room.

As he walked toward his room he thought about what Jacquie had said. All he had wanted from Alma was to know her secret but up a different feeling began to crop up. The door opened before he could get his hand on the handle. A scowled faced Richard stood on the other side of the door, his foot tapping as if ready to reprimand him.

“Sorry I’m late, mother,” Christoffer mocked.

“You do understand who you are?” Richard pushed the door closed with a bang.

“I understand you aren’t supposed to bang my door.” Christoffer used his authoritative voice.

“If this girl finds out who you are she will rat you out and this cover you have made for yourself will be blown.” Richard spilled a bunch of photos on the table for Christoffer to see. “Prince—”

“Don’t call me that.” And he walked off, angry Richard had spied on him, but more enraged he spied on Alma too. Of course, Richard needed to keep a watchful eye on him but it didn’t have to include guys with cameras in the bushes.

“Fine, Christoffer, you can’t keep doing this. A student has to attend his classes.” Richard yelled the last part.

“I will and if you don’t like it you can go tell King Lauritz.”

Christoffer left Richard standing in the middle of the room with his clipboard and his pictures. He didn’t think he would hear another word of it again but he didn’t expect the security detail that flanked him the rest of the day, camouflaged as students.

“Richard you are not winning this one,” Christoffer mumbled as he made his way into Alma’s next class.

Christoffer waited a while as the class began to fill in. Alma didn’t arrive until the last minute; she was in a hurry and ended up spilling her books on the ground. Christoffer rushed to her side and picked up her books and led her to a seat.