Her Secret Smile

Siddharth! Siddharth!! Siddharth!!!

Everyone in the crowd was roaring his name, but he seemed to be calm. Looking around casually, his eyes searched for someone in the crowd, and his search ended when he sees her. Taking a quick glimpse, he turned his attention back to the game.

Hearing his name all around her, Roshini’s heart throbbed insanely. Her eyes were swinging here and there with every step he took. His attention was on that ball that he was going to kick. He rocked his hand before running, she could feel how much he tensed, but his face remained firm.

She bit her lower lip when he kicked the ball. It was a penalty shot. If it was a goal, then their computer science department would win the overall trophy of this sports meet.

Her eyes widened when the ball was almost caught by the goalkeeper, but thankfully he didn't succeed. She heaved a sigh, smiling at the small smile on his face. Siddharth, he won. Not only in the match but also in her heart a long time before.

Everyone started enjoying the victory, and his teammates carried him on their shoulders. This time, he smiled widely. Her heart raced to see it. It was still very strange and unbelievable for Roshini, she never experienced this watching anyone else.

Why does it have to be him? Why is it always him? Roshini questioned, staring at him fixed.

"He’s a good player," Nidhi said, and Roshini nodded quickly turning her gaze.

"Let's go, Nidhi, we are going to be late for the bus," Roshini suggested, and Nidhi agreed.

They walked out of the stadium at 6.00 pm. Their houses were located in the same area, so they used to travel on the same bus, and that was how they become close in such a short time.

"Hey, what are you going to do this Sunday?" Nidhi questioned.

"Nothing, we have assignments, and I am planning to finish them," Roshini answered.

"We still have this entire month. Oh god, I guess this is why you shouldn’t be friends with a class topper."

"Okay, then what do you want me to do?"

"Let's go for a movie this Sunday."

Thinking a minute, Roshini said yes. She, too, wanted to go somewhere. It was very tiring to study and stay in the house all the time.

"Okay, then I will see you on Sunday, 11 am sharp," she told him, and they reached their stop.

They walked together, chatting about some random things. Nidhi is a complete entertainer, no one could feel bored around her, and Roshini felt lucky to have a friend who always reached out a hand when she needed any help.

She met her at college, the only person who left space for her to sit. They had a lot of things in common, and most importantly, she felt so happy around Nidhi. Roshini was an introvert, she didn't have any close friends at school, but Nidhi was different from every other person she had met in her life.

When they reached Nidhi's house, she waved goodbye for the day and, again, reminded Roshini to be ready on Sunday. To that, she gave a nod.

It had turned dark when Roshini reached her small yet beautiful house, which was located a street away from Nidhi's house. She sat on the concrete slab at the entrance and removed her slippers. She felt something strange today, a feeling of extreme jealousy when she saw those girls admiring Siddharth, but in the end, she was someone who couldn’t feel that way.

She was in her second year studying computer science engineering in the most reputed college in their city. She worked hard to get into it. Her college is one of the topmost colleges in her state for engineering. Only toppers could get into it.

In her college life, she liked everything, but one thing she never intended to do was like Siddharth. She felt a sudden sparkle of something the very moment her eyes stuck on him. He was the first person she met in this college, the first person who made her feel that way. Roshini found this odd as she had never believed in love at first sight. But remembering that moment, she had to agree that it could happen…

It was Roshini’s first day in college. She was confused about how to reach her class since she entered via another entrance near the playground. She couldn't find anyone to help her, until out of nowhere, she saw a guy walking before her. She scurried near him, smiling.

"Excuse me."

He turned, and she took a step back, stunned to see the handsome creature standing before her. He looked at her with a "What?" expression. For the first time in her life, there was this sound, a "Lub-Dub" heard as background music.

"Do...you…know where the first-year…computer science class is?" She sounded like she had just run a marathon. She felt so ashamed and awkward.

He gazed at her for a second.

"Go straight and turn right. Your class will be upstairs," he directed.

Before she could thank him, he walked away from her. In just a few seconds, he had vanished from her sight.

Then, she went to her class, everyone was talking among themselves. She searched for a place, but no one gave a welcoming gesture other than Nidhi, who was sitting on the second desk. Nidhi smiled at her and asked her name. Then, they introduced themselves. The day started this way, their class professors came and informed them about their subjects, each giving a short intro.

After a lunch break, three guys swaggered into their class like bosses. Roshini’s eyes widened to see him again. Her heart started to beat faster. She stared at him, and when he saw her, she turned away like she didn't know him.

"Hi, everyone, I am Siddharth, your senior studying second year," he said and smiled.

“I am the department vice chairman. If you have any doubts or anything you want to ask, you can come and meet me in my class when there's a break,” he added. Then he told us about our professors and how important it was to participate in the events organized by the department. Roshini could not even listen to anything he said and just stared at him in bewilderment. The girls sitting behind her asked for his number, and with a smile, he wrote his number on the board for everyone to see.

Then the other two boys shared theirs as well. They all wanted us to socialize with others and not become involved in anything that might spoil our grades. Then they all left. Roshini just smiled, knowing she could see him often. Every girl in her class jotted down his number, except for her. She didn't want anything to distract her from her studies.

Even though she had built a wall around her heart, Siddharth broke every single brick, filling up her heart, mind, and soul. She tried her best to suppress her growing attraction to him, but all her attempts ended in dismay.

It was the end of her first year, just a month before the semester, and there was a football match. Nidhi messaged her to come to the playground, and Roshini halfheartedly decided to go.

There was a huge crowd on the football pitch. Even some professors were there enjoying the match because Siddharth was playing. Roshini knew that he played football, but she had never seen it. She purposely avoided any activity that displayed his charm.

Taking a seat beside Nidhi, Roshini looked around to see where Siddharth was. He was standing there and looking at the other players. He seemed to be kind of nervous. Seeing him, she smiled.

Roshini never showed her admiration for Siddharth to anyone, especially not to Nidhi. So, she cut off her smile and looked down.

The match went well. Siddharth got two goals and won the special trophy. Roshini was astounded by his attractiveness. At that moment, she accepted her crush on him.

The first year went this way. She got two chances to talk with him, but just about event preparation. He asked her name in one of those meetings. He was a great leader, and Roshini like his friendliness.

But, at the same time, she heard that he had had three girlfriends in two years, and he was a brat, playboy, etc. So, she stopped thinking about him and decided she would stay away from him. But, whatever she did, she couldn’t deny her attraction.

When she entered her house, her mom welcomed her with a warm smile. Roshini's mom was a housewife and a very strict woman. 

"I am going to temple, do you want to come with me?"

Roshini nodded. “I have work," she replied and went to the bedroom, where her bro was sitting and studying for his upcoming exams.

"Hey!"

"Hi, how was your exam today?"

"Good, but I lost one mark," Karthik said.

"Oh, so sad," she smiled in mischief.

Her little bro was not so little. He was taller than her and was working hard to pass the NEET exams. He was studying two sets of the syllabi, making sure that he was well versed in everything. His ambition of becoming a doctor was going to come true soon, and Roshini was already feeling so happy about that because she knew that her brother was smarter than her.

Her dad was working on the railway; they were a small family, yet the happiest. Her parents were very strict when it came to education, and because of that, Roshini and her brother were always good in their academics. She decided to study engineering because of her dad; he wanted her to be an engineer. And now, she loved this field.

After finishing off her dinner, Roshini laid on her bed and remembered that day's match. Automatically, Siddharth's smiling face came before her. She didn't know whether it was good or bad, but he was making her weak, weakening her with his charms.

"Roshini, get up, it is already 8," her mom said and splashed the water on her face.

'What the hell!' she mumbled while getting up. This Monday morning is the biggest hell for her. She looked at her mom, who glared back for sleeping like this.

Yesterday night Roshini started watching a movie, it was too interesting and she didn't get up from her seat until it was complete. As a result, she got a face wash from her mother.

She slowly got up from her bed like a zombie and went to the bathroom. After finishing all her morning chores, she came out and noticed the time: 8.30 am.

'What the hell!' she again thought and rushed to leave because her bus is at 8.45 am.

"Mom… mom, please make it fast," Roshini pleaded to her mother, who was packing her lunch box.

"Wait! For this reason, I asked you to sleep early," she started ranting, and Roshini heard that gritting her teeth.

After getting her lunch, she ran to the bus stop feeling how hard this life is. For a long time, she wanted to reduce her weight, it may sound easy to think, but that is one of the greatest battles of her life. She became fat six months before due to PCOD, and now she is trying to reduce her weight, which is pushing the mountain aside for her.

Roshini got inside the bus when it was about to take. When the moment she realized that she won, a small smile spread across her lips.  

"Hey, why you're late?" Nidhi's voice stopped her smile.

"I slept"

"Oh," she nodded. The bus was going at a moderate speed. Today there was no much crowd, but still, they didn't get a seat to sit.

The weekend, as they planned, Roshini and Nidhi went for a movie. They enjoyed it a lot and also ate junk food while touring the streets. 

In her school days, Roshini has never experienced this kind of thing, and it felt very new and exciting to her.

In this past year, they both become inseparable friends.

However, Nidhi has a lot of friends compared to Roshini.

Her school friends, old neighborhood friends, and her cousins, like so many, were around her. Roshini sometime feels why Nidhi chose me as her friend. But then she realized that there is no reason needed for a person to befriend another person.

Friendship is something very unexplainable. Roshini thinks Nidhi as a Savior because she will give her hand when she desperately needed help. Even Roshini doesn't think that she will help someone like Nidhi, but she did a lot of help that Roshini never expected from her.

"I thought of getting down from the bus if you have not arrived. Thank god you came," Nidhi said.

"Oh, I am sorry this won't happen again," the stress-filled words came out of her mouth. 

And here comes the other part of their friendship, sometimes it is also uncomfortable for Roshini to take this attitude of Nidhi. 

Roshini never wanted anyone to wait for her or to have special care of her. She is different inside. She doesn't like people who come so close to her, close to that circle that she has around her. It gave fear, and it caused her stress.

Plastering a small smile, Roshini continued to talk. They mostly talk about their irritating math professor. He has a special tendency to irritate a person to the utmost level.

As they reached their college, they walked to their class. It took about ten minutes to walk since their class is located at the far end of this college.

Once they reached their department, unknowingly Roshini’s eyes searched for Siddharth's CBR bike, and when she found it is there, she smiled inside.

Though she doesn't know anything about bikes and all, for him she searched and learned that is a CBR 250r bike.

In her life, she never made any feelings to grow in her this deeper, but how she failed to control this Siddharth is a big question that she having all the time.

She thought it is not a big deal when the first time felt, but that's the biggest mistake she had ever made. These uncontrollable feelings turned into a routine, and now she is unable to find a way to come out of it.

Till now, she hasn't told about this to anyone, and she has maintained like she is a girl who never looks at a guy even if he's a handsome guy in this entire world.

Her boundaries are the main reason that never takes her near him. Avoiding is the simple thing that she is doing to avoid everything.

When they reached their class, they sat in their place. It is the third row, and Roshini usually sits beside the window side seat. "Roshini, today I am planning to take books from the library, do you want to join me?" Nidhi asked.

"Hmm, sure," she replied and texted her mom that she has reached college. Since her mom was too worried about her, especially this society and she ordered Roshini to text every day after reaching college.

The classes started, to where her energy level also started decreasing. She looked at her watch, eagerly waiting for the lunchtime to come. She then gazed at her classmates. Some of them were listening to the lecture, some of them were daydreaming, and some of them were sleeping. She turned her gaze to Nidhi and smiled to see her half-closed eyes.

When the professor finished her lecture, everyone came out of their thoughts and sleep. Before the professor could leave their class, boys started leaving like they had waited for this moment. Roshini and Nidhi, carrying their lunch box, walked outside of the department. They usually sit on a resting bench and have lunch in the cool breeze.

While walking, her heart attack came in front of her: Siddharth.

Siddharth, who is standing before the staff room and talking with their math professor, with a big smile on his face.

She looked at him with a skepticism filled eyes. What he is talking with our professor?

Suddenly his eyes shifted to Roshini, and she immediately turned her gaze to Nidhi, and her poor heart started to throb. When she was about to pass them, her professor called to her.

"Sir?" Roshini stopped in front of them.

"Roshini, there's a conference taking place in the electronics department after the lunch break. Are you willing to go there?" He asked.

She looked at Nidhi, she gestured her to say yes. "Okay, sir. I will go,"

"Okay, Siddharth, you two go there," he said, and her eyes widened in shock.

Am I going there with Siddharth? OMG, what I am going to do now!!

Siddharth smiled and looked at Roshini, but she purposely avoided him. Why on earth he is arranging me to go with him, she thought and remained silent.

But why I have to go with this danger? So she thought of rejecting the offer. When she was about to speak, "Okay, be there at 2.00 pm, it is just a workshop, and they will teach you about some new technical things. They asked me to send two students only, so utilize this, and they will provide a certificate for you," their professor finished.

She nodded her head and canceled her thought of rejecting because they are providing a certificate and it will be useful for her resume. Though she is a smart student in her class, she is still afraid of whether she will get a proper job.

"Okay, sir, we will be there," Siddharth said.

We! She exclaimed inside at hearing that.

Roshini left to have her lunch with Nidhi. She remained silent and nervous. She has talked with him only two times, one during their first meeting and another in last year's cultural event. Perhaps today it will happen?? She thought.

"Rosh, you're getting late. See the time? It's already 1.50 pm," Nidhi said, and Roshini came out of the thoughts.

She quickly finished her lunch, and after taking her bag, she started to walk from her department to the electronics department, located on another end.

No one is there on the road, except a guy who's walking in front of her. She knew him; he's her senior and Siddharth's classmate.

When she was hurriedly walking, she suddenly heard a familiar horn sound from behind. She knew who it might be: none another than Siddharth. He stopped in front of her and giving a glimpse by her side, he asked his friend to sit behind him.

He left, and she continued to walk with an annoyance.

Why he gave that look!!

Stupid!! She scolded him mentally and continued to walk and walk.

But even in that distress, she thought if his friend was not here, whether he would have asked me for a free ride? But anyhow, it is not going to happen. She sighed.

The other thing that she likes about Siddharth is the way he drove his bike, maybe it sounds silly, but that's true. She likes his everything, but at the same time, she is trying not to accept that.

When Roshini reached the electronics department, she breathed, and her legs started aching. And she felt really hot for walking at a high speed, and as a result, she starts to sweat. This showed how poor she’s looking after her health.

She took her water bottle out and drank that in a gulp and then searched for someone to ask where that workshop is taking place. That time she saw Siddharth on upstairs, so she thought the workshop is going to be at the upstairs hall. 

Climbing steps are another big task that she hates. This was a very tiring afternoon, I hope they will provide some snacks after this workshop, she thought and went near Siddharth.

She looked at him confusingly because the place seemed like normal, not like a conference taking area.

Am I stupid to follow this guy? Ah, Roshini, you're really crazy!! She gritted and turned to walk.

Siddharth, who is standing and talking with another guy, suddenly called out her name when she was about to move.

"Roshini," hearing that she felt something struck her all of a sudden. He called out her name in an authorized tone. It is loud and very sweet too.

She turned and looked him, "The workshop is taking place in downstairs, seminar hall," he directed. Nodding her head with a smile, she didn't thank him for that.

Roshini went into that hall, and a person registered her name for the workshop. She got a seat in the last row. Even she searched if there is any other place in the front rows, but sadly there's none.

She solemnly sat there and waited until the workshop starts. When she was in her thoughts, Siddharth entered the hall.

"Hey, dude, write my name," he said casually to his friend since he has so many friends in every department, and he looked for seats.

But there is none right, so he is going to sit beside me!!

OMG!! Roshini screamed.

Roshini felt nervous when he came near her. She gulped and looked somewhere else to avoid this fluttering feeling. He sat beside her, and their shoulders almost touched.

She gripped her fist and looked ahead, sideways, and at her watch and her phone to avoid him.

His GIORGIO ARMANI perfume smell filled her nostrils. She looked him sideways; he is busy checking his phone.

That time, a guy came towards them, "Hey, Siddharth, you're here?" He questioned.

"Yeah, my processor asked me to attend this," he replied for that annoyingly.

"Why are you sitting here, come I have a place for you," he called him. That time Roshini wanted to shout at that guy to go away and do his business. But she remained like she did not exist in that environment.

"No, it is fine, I am comfortable here," Siddharth replied. Roshini was shocked and smiled inwardly.

"Hey, come on, there will be so much fun there, and boys are going to sit there only," he again said.

Aargh. This guy is irritating. Roshini turned her head and looked at him like glaring.

Suddenly that guy turned to her, "Is she is your classmate?" He asked Siddharth.

"No, she is my junior, our professor asked both of us to attend this," Siddharth replied normally.

"What is your name?" He asked.

"Roshini," she smiled.

"Oh, I am Kavin," he introduced himself with a smile on his face.

"Do you want to sit in the front? I don't want our college students in the back," He told.

"Yeah," she nodded. Yeah, I am cunning!

"Okay, come with me," he said, and Roshini followed him leaving Siddharth, and his strong gaze on her. The hall was very big, and for this workshop, many other college students also came to attend this.

He gave her a seat in the second row and asked her to never leave this place.

She thanked him with a big smile on her face.

"Don't mention Roshini, if you want anything, ask me okay," he said sweetly and left.

Really if we treat and see our opposite gender in a friendly and respectful way, then everything will be normal.

After some time, the workshop started, and she became engrossed in the lecture. 

She noticed that Kavin was the student organizer of this workshop. He was running here and there, he was friendly with everyone, just like Siddharth.

And Siddharth was sitting adjacent to her seat, but he is not that visible to her eyes. It is also a good thing so that she can listen to this lecture without any distractions.

After the first session, they asked them to take a tea break. She went and bought snacks and tea that they provided. At that time, she didn't see Siddharth, and she doesn't know where he went.

Siddharth was a famous guy in their college because of his talent in football, and also, he is too good at academics. He is handsome and rich too. And added to that, he always has that charming smile on his face that will attract everyone to his side, and his friendly nature has gained so many people around him. He is a perfect guy.

But that is the biggest problem here because even in her class, there is a girl who is crazy about Siddharth, and she doesn't know how many girls were secretly in love with him.

Among this, she is just a mere girl who is trying to forget him.

After the break, she again went into the hall, and the second session started. During that time, she secretly searched him in sideways whether he's there, but to her dismay, he is not there.

Where he went?? The question kept distracting her.

She can't properly listen to that lecture, and she waited to end. After the completion, everyone started leaving and she noticed there is a call from Nidhi.

Roshini called her back and informed that she will be at the bus stop in ten minutes and asked her to go if she wants, but Nidhi said that she will wait.

She went to Kavin to ask whether she has to come tomorrow. But he replied there's no need and the certificates will be provided after two weeks in her department.

She nodded, and when she was about to leave, he called her and suddenly asked for her number. She doesn't know whether to give or not. Because she never gave her number to any guy. But he seemed like a brother figure, so she gave it without thinking further.

Without her control, Roshini asked where Siddharth went.

"He went to practice football, he said he has a match tomorrow. Why you're asking?" he questioned.

"I... Just asked," she gritted and walked out.

When she was walking near the playground, she saw Siddharth, who is warming up before the practice. Even if he stands in a crowd among a thousand people, her eyes can easily identify him, like a computer scanner.

She walked by, constantly noticing him. There's another way to reach the bus stop from the electronics department, but she preferred this so that she can see Siddharth.

She doesn't know whether he is having any doubts about her for constantly noticing him, but sometimes she saw him looking at her back. Maybe that is a mere coincidence. Overall, she doesn't know what he's having in his heart.

He is a kind of a mystery to her. She doesn't know anything about him other than his name. She doesn't know where he is coming from, about his house, his parents, and whether he is having siblings and all. But she has heard he is extremely rich, and she literally has seen that, too, in his bike and the fact he also comes to college in his car. Even their professor doesn't have that type of costly cars.

She thought all the possible ways about his love interest. Like all the rumors whether he's having any girlfriend so that he is not laying his gaze on any other girl. Because Roshini has seen girls flirting with him, but she never saw him like that. He is always a gentleman to her eyes, but some told he is a trifle, but she doesn't believe that at all.

If he having a girl, then she must be really lucky to have him. But if he doesn't, then I am so happy to think him as mine without having guilt.