I Am The Luna

ZAIA

“I have some good news, Zaia. Sebastian will be so excited. Congratulations, you’re pregnant!” The doctor’s words ring in my mind as I stare down at the test reports once again, as I leave the hospital. “Sorry!” I say, as I avoid bumping into someone, my heart skipping a beat as I place a hand on my stomach protectively, hurrying towards my awaiting car. My driver, Ethan, is waiting beside the sleek black car and he opens the door for me, bowing his head. “Thank you!” I say as I get in gracefully. “Where to, ma’am?” he asks once he gets in the car. “Home,” I say, unable to suppress my smile, excitement bubbling through me. This is actually happening. I’ve been trying for a baby for three years and finally… finally, I am pregnant. I want to shout it from the rooftop, tell everyone that yes! I’m pregnant with the heir to the pack! But I contain my excitement. I need to tell Sebastian the good news first. Sebastian is the Alpha of the Dark Hollow Falls pack. It is one of the largest packs on the eastern side of the state. However, with the large territory also comes the dangerous borders that roam with rogues, ready to tear apart anyone who gets in their way. Werewolves spend their entire lives searching and hoping to find their destined mates. As for me, I had a crush on Bastien from the moment I had seen him when I was eleven years old. That crush never went away and when he turned out to be my fated mate, it had been a dream come true and we had married. He desperately wanted an heir, and which Alpha doesn’t? I had just turned eighteen when I found him, but he was thirty one at the time. Many other alphas have sons who are already being trained to become the next alphas at his age. “Make haste, Ethan, I have a lot to do today,” I say to the driver as I sit back against the plush leather seat. Reaching our large gated mansion, I step inside and head straight to the kitchen, my stilettos echoing on the wooden floors. I will cook his favourite pudding and place the reports underneath the plate! “You may take the evening off, get some rest,” I say to the maid, Emma. “I’ll cook for us tonight.” “Oh, thank you, Luna!” she says, placing down the dish towel she had been holding. “I am certain Alpha will absolutely be so happy if you make him his favourite dessert! Not to mention he doesn’t like sweet things, but your pudding is something he can’t resist!” I can’t help but smile at her words. Yes, Sebastien doesn’t enjoy sweet things aside from me and the cream pie that he loves. My cheeks heat as I remember the first time he had told me that it’s now his second favourite dessert, and in hopes of making his favourite dessert, I had asked him what his favourite was. Only for him to smirk and reply; you. I can’t help but smile from ear to ear, the elated feeling creating a pleasant buzz around me as I get to work wanting everything to be perfect for his return. Hours pass and when everything is almost ready, I change into something pretty and set up the dining table with candles and the food. “Almost 9pm…” he will be home soon. With the troubles that have surrounded our borders, as well as having to run the business, Sebastian often works until late into the night. But he would try to come home by 9.30pm and continue working from home if necessary. I sit down on the chair, watching the clock tick away, the sound loud in the room's silence. Once again, I look down at my stomach, smiling softly as I await the return of my mate. Time passes slowly and soon 11 o’clock comes and goes, but I’m not deterred, maybe I will reheat the food again… I have just placed the reheated meals on the table when my head jerks up at the sound of footsteps, making my heart thud at the sudden sound. I look toward the door excitedly. Finally, he is home! The front door shuts, and a familiar faint scent of my mate hits my nose. I cast a swift glance at the clock on the wall. To my surprise, it’s past midnight. I rush to the hall, the excitement of finally being able to tell him the good news filling me. There he is, in the dimly lit hall. He still looks as handsome as ever. Three and a half years on, he still makes my heart skip a beat whenever I see him. He loosens his black tie, as he places his briefcase down, holding a few files in his hands as well. His bright blue eyes look tired as they meet mine and I smile. “Sebastian!” I rush over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He catches me with one arm, but there’s no enthusiasm. He must have had a really hard day. I don’t mind; I know how stressful things are at work lately. Placing me back on the floor, he raises a brow as he looks down at me. “Why are you awake at this time?” he asks me in his deep, rugged voice. “I was waiting for you. I wanted to have dinner together. There’s something I wanted to tell you,” I explain as I help him out of his jacket, brushing a piece of lint from his white shirt that is no longer as crisp as it was this morning. “I’ve already eaten,” he replies, surprising me as heads towards the living room. “I have something to tell you.” “Ok, you go first,” I say as he drops onto the sofa, stretching his long legs, and resting his arm on the back of the sofa. I sit down beside him, knowing he would share something regarding the work meeting. After all, I am knowledgeable on these matters and he’d often get my opinion on his ideas. However, there’s something off. There’s a coldness in his eyes as he looks into mine. Sebastian looks down at the file in his hands before he tosses it on the table, the loud snap as it hits the table makes me jump. “Read it.” I take it uneasily and flip open the blank file, but the red words in bold print at the top of the first page make my blood run cold. ‘DIVORCE AGREEMENT’ I gasp as I quickly scan the document. That feeling becomes worse. This is a divorce agreement with our name on it… My entire body trembles as I look up at him, hurt and confused. “W-why?” I manage to blurt out as I look at the man I love from the bottom of my heart. What went wrong? “Annalise is back, and she’s rejoined the pack.” I look up sharply. It’s suddenly hard to breathe. “But I am your mate,” I whisper. How could he still care for Annalise? She was his past. “We’ve been married for three years.” “Our marriage was a mistake from the very beginning. Back then, my father demanded that I marry my mate, but now I don’t want to be bound by the Goddess’ arrangement. I don’t see the point of fated mates.” My heart clenches. I look at his face, trying to understand what he’s thinking, but there’s nothing that reveals his feelings and he has his walls up, blocking the mate bond. “But your father, he-” “My Mom is not my father’s mate, but she still gave birth to me. She gave him a powerful Alpha son and even after he found his mate, he stayed by her side, rejecting his mate. I will never understand his reason for wanting me with my destined mate when he himself is proof that you don’t need your mate.” Those words are worse than being stabbed a thousand times, and I can feel my eyes prickle with tears, the agony my wolf is feeling consuming me. Does he really think that is the truth? Annalise is my half-sister and although she and Sebastian had dated, I know her truth, the real her that she hides behind her pretty face and doe eyes. “Annalise only approached you because you were an Alpha… Sebastian, she doesn’t love you the way I do. She wants to be Luna-” He kicks the solid oak coffee table, making me jump as it’s thrown over with a loud crash, hitting the wooden floor with a deafening bang that makes the ornaments in the glass cabinet shake. “And what about you? You just want to be Luna, don’t you! You knew that Annalise and I were in a relationship, yet you selfishly accepted the marriage anyway and betrayed your own sister by taking her man! You lied to me. She’s told me everything!” “No, that’s not true. Let me explain-” “Don’t antagonise me, Zaia, you got what you wanted, you became my wife and Luna, but that wasn’t enough for you. You forced Annalise from coming anywhere near this pack because you knew once she returned, I would learn everything!” Yes, I did want Annalise to leave, but I never made her leave. She left of her own accord once she learned Sebastian had found his mate, but now, it’s almost as if she has been planning her return all this time. Is she really enough to come between what we have? Sadly, I look into his eyes, realising he never trusted me. He’s now judging and calculating everything I gave him with suspicion, as if I had played him to gain the position of Luna. Doesn’t he realise I fell for him before I even knew he was an Alpha? Has he always been wary of me? That one person can come between us and ruin it all? Did he even for a moment, truly love me wholeheartedly? I can’t understand it. Tell me Bastian… If you didn’t want me, then why did you make love to me? Why did you touch me like I was the only woman who mattered to you? Taking a deep breath, I ask him the decisive question. “Sebastian… Tell me, if it wasn’t your father’s request-“ “Then I would have rejected you, and even now, I will, for Annalise.” My lips quiver, remembering how my father hadn’t been happy with me marrying him. He never liked Sebastian’s family, yet I had given it all up for him. My family… my inheritance and my position, but it was clearly not enough for him. If he’s able to cast me aside so easily, then what is my use? He exhales as if I’m an irritating child and takes out a lighter and cigarette. “Sign the papers soon. I don’t want this to drag out,” he says. I stare down at the file as a single tear splashes onto the papers. “What did you want to tell me?” he asks. “It’s no longer important… forget about it,” I say, thinking he will never see the papers that currently sit on the dining room table. “If you have any concerns regarding the alimony, let me know. Your expenses will be covered and you are welcome to stay in the pack.” That hurts. “No… there’s no need. Everything is fine as it is. I will sign and have these returned to you immediately,” I reply as I stand up, trying to hold myself together when my entire world has come crashing down around me. He pauses for a second and simply nods, uncaring about my heartbreak and agony that I know he can feel through the bond. Could he really cast me, his own mate, aside for another woman? The answer is in front of me, and although it is painful, the truth is yes, yes, he could. “You may remain here for tonight. It’s late anyway. Annalise won’t move in until everything is settled. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable.” I stare up into his handsome face, trying to recognise the man I fell for. I smile bitterly and nod at him. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gone. Say hi to Annalise for me.”

ZAIA.

The following day dawns as gloomy and dark as the weight on my chest. Sebastian left last night. I had heard the front door slam shut, and I wonder if he went to Annalise. I stare at the divorce file in front of me, five million dollars as alimony. It is not a small amount. He really wants me to leave so desperately, doesn’t he? I toss the file onto the bed. I don’t need his money. Nothing can make up for the pain of being rejected by my mate. The man I had given everything to. I push the rumpled bedding back and get out of bed, and stare at my reflection above my vanity. Staring back at me is the creamy skin with freckles, and long ginger locks which, despite being hard to maintain, I never considered cutting, because Sebastian liked it. My pouty lips aren’t anywhere near as big as Annalise’s, but the most prominent feature of mine is probably my amethyst-coloured eyes. There was a time when every man wanted me. At College and University, all the young men wanted to date Zaia Toussaint. My reputation in my studies and as the daughter of Alpha Hugh Toussaint only added to that, I came from a reputable pack, one whose size is almost as big as this one, however, their reputation is vastly different. Where my father’s pack is known for its social status and influence, the Dark Hollow Falls Pack was known for their power and their control. No one wants to cross them. I stare down at the papers in my hand. Placing a hand on my stomach, I calm myself. Stress is not good for the baby. I will not sit here and weep. I will show him I am fine. Determined, I ball my fists still holding those hateful papers, before I get ready for the day and make my way downstairs. “Did the Alpha not return last night?” Emma asks, stepping out of the dining room with the uneaten dishes from last night. “He came late, and I had fallen asleep,” I reply, forcing a smile as I lead the way to the kitchen. “You look pale, Luna. Are you alright?” she asks as I make myself some cereal, even though I have no appetite. Before I can reply, my phone rings. It’s Valerie Scott, my Doctor and close friend. “Hello?” I answer, stepping away from the table and leaving the kitchen for privacy. “Zaia, I’m sorry to bother you so early. I was taking a second look at your reports, and I want you to come back for a few additional checks.” “Valerie… is everything alright?” I ask nervously. “Don’t worry, Zaia, just come see me as soon as possible.” I hang up, fear settling into the pit of my stomach and I quickly hurry to leave, asking Ethan to have the car ready. Once in the car, I tell him to drive me to the hospital. He looks at me curiously as he obeys. “Is everything ok, Luna?” “Oh yes, just going to go meet Valerie for brunch.” It isn’t a complete lie. Valerie is the head gynaecologist at the hospital, and I’m glad she is the one who found out about my baby. We reach the hospital shortly after and I thank Ethan, telling him to wait for me. The windy weather batters at me and I’m happy to step into the warmth of the hospital entrance. “Do you have another appointment, Luna?” the lady at the front desk asks. Gossip will spread like wildfire, knowing I came to the hospital two days in a row. “Oh no, I-” “She’s here to see me.” We both turn, relieved to see Valerie standing there in her white coat with arms crossed. “Ah, I see,” the prying woman behind the counter says before she smiles and returns to her paperwork. The smell of disinfectant is strong in the halls. “I think it’s best to keep your pregnancy a secret for now,” Valerie whispers to me as she strides down the hallway and opens her office door. “I think so too.” I agree, although my reasons are rather different. Once inside the comfort of her office, she tells me to lie down on the bed so she can do a quick scan of my stomach. Since we are in her office, there is no screen opposite for me to be able to see the scan myself. However, with the frown on her face deepening, I dare not disturb her as she takes measurements, observing the screen. Finally, when she wipes the cold gel from my stomach and motions for me to get up, I ask her as I stand up, “Tell me Valerie, what is it?” “You don’t need to worry too much, there is nothing wrong with the pregnancy itself, but...” She begins, but it’s too soon to be relieved. “Come, take a seat.” I oblige. Taking a seat, she sighs as she sits down behind her desk. “But?” She sighs, tilting her head as she opens up a file on her desk. “But your health isn’t great. I’m surprised, to be honest. You come from a strong bloodline, and you seem healthy and fit, but after looking through your reports… you are extremely weak and that can affect the growth of the children.” She puts the file down and I frown. My eyes fly open. “Children?” “Yes, Zaia, you are having twins, which makes me all the more worried about this pregnancy and your health.” Twins! I’d be happier if the divorce wasn’t bothering me, but the doctor obviously doesn’t share the excitement with me. She’s worried. “Will I lose them?” I ask, nervously. “The chances of miscarrying are extremely high and until you are past your first trimester, I would say you need to rest as much as possible. Perhaps keeping this pregnancy news quiet, for now, will be better. I know the pack members will want to visit you if they find out that an Alpha heir will soon be born.” I nod in understanding, reaching for the file and scan through it. I may not be a doctor but I had studied medicine alongside business at university. “How is it possible for my levels to be so low?” I ask. She shakes her head. “It’s beyond me, but I will give you some multivitamins and we will keep an eye on you.” “Thanks, Val. Can I ask a weird question? Does a rejection harm an unborn child?” I say quietly. She looks at me sharply, and I keep my chin up, hoping she doesn’t see right through me. She sits back, pondering over it for a moment before she looks me straight in the eye, a calculating look in them. “No Zaia, it won’t harm the child, but it will surely hurt the Mother and… if the Mother is already weak, for example like yourself, she may never be able to carry another child again.” ---- After bidding Valerie farewell, I don’t return home. I’m too disturbed and unsettled to think straight. After what she told me, I am no longer sure what I should do. I have been debating what to do for the last hour. I had dismissed Ethan and decided to walk home, despite the weather. My mind is still in turmoil and a memory from long ago returns to me, making my heart squeeze. (Flashback) “When we have a child, I hope that they look just like you.” “Me?” I ask, surprised, as he pulls me into his lap and runs his fingers through my hair. “Yes, my beautiful fire pixie. And I hope they have hair just like you too,” he replies, kissing my neck. My heart skips a beat as I tilt my head. I didn’t really feel confident with my flaming orange hair, but Sebastian loved it, saying it reminded him of a phoenix. “Zion,” he says as he caresses my cheek, but it’s his next word that makes my eyes widen in shock. “That will be the name of our son.” (End of flashback) He was looking forward to our children so much. If I had gotten pregnant earlier, would everything have been different? Although I know he no longer wants me, I think I should at least try, for our children. Perhaps he’ll rethink when he knows that we are going to have two beautiful babies. Perhaps he will reconsider the divorce. After all, as the father, he does have a right to know about them. A glimmer of hope enters my heart and I head towards the Pack Hall. Sebastian would be working in his office at this time. The Pack Hall sits beside our mansion, separated only by a black gate. Our pack members live across town, and this is the one place where they can gather for meetings and important events. Making my way inside, I enter the code for the third floor by scanning my fingerprint and make my way up the carpeted stairs. This floor is only for the ranked members of the pack, and no one is allowed up here without a pin. I muster my courage and square my shoulders, hoping that he might just reconsider throwing me out, when I spot none other than Annalise sitting on Sebastian’s desk in an extremely short dress as she laughs at something he just said. For the first time, I wonder if Sebastian took a liking to me because I reminded him of my half-sister. Although Annalise is taller and slimmer. With her beautiful blond hair and blue eyes, she is the angelic doll that anyone would be deceived by. I can’t help but look at the ginger hair strands that fall over my shoulder. We are similar, yet different… “Oh Seb, I can’t help but be worried that you are really in love with my sister.” Annalise’s voice makes me look up sharply. A sliver of irritation rushes through me. I am still the Luna and his wife and until I have signed those papers; he is still mine… How dare she! I’m unable to hold back the anger I feel as I stride down the carpeted hall. “Don’t be mistaken,” Sebastian replies. I falter as Annalise laughs. The tinkling sounds like nails scraping down a chalkboard to me and I clench my teeth as I stare through the gap in the door. “So are you saying in the past three years you never developed any feelings for her?” There’s silence, and I place my hand on the wall, hoping he doesn’t shatter my resolve entirely. “Not at all. It was simply a three-years-late rejection. Something I should have done long ago.” His cold reply comes. My breath hitches and I try not to let the overwhelming rejection squeeze at my heart. “Oh, that makes me so relieved, especially considering we can finally return to how things used to be before she came between us.” Through the gap in the door, I see Sebastian sitting there silently, a hard expression on his face as he looks distractedly out of the window. “Are you listening to me, Seb?” “Sorry, I was just… What did you just say?” “I said - things will be just the way they were before she took everything from me.” She runs her hands along his shoulders. I press a hand to my chest, wishing the pain away as Annalise continues to prattle on. “You don’t need to worry about anything. I mean, she couldn’t even give you a child in these years… I’ll have a baby for us. You deserve an heir,” she says seductively. I wish I knew what I did to be treated like this. Memories of our time together fill my mind, and I shake my head. Yes, we married immediately when we found we were mates, but that’s normal. Sebastian’s father had been adamant, yes, but I never felt that Sebastian wasn’t happy. He doted on me, complimented me, and I know he found me attractive… Then what happened? "Sebastian, I was thinking perhaps we can go on a date to one of our old hot spring weekends?” she purrs coquettishly. My husband sits forward and my stomach churns when he places his hand on her bare thigh. “I think that’s an excellent idea.” I step back, my heart screaming in pain, a pain no one will hear. I’m unable to stand here and watch them make a mockery of me. I can’t do it. I can’t tell him about my babies. What if he tries to take them away from me? Turning, I flee back to the steps and run down them, trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall, but I fail and the dam wall comes crashing down, just like my life has come collapsing down around me.