Loving You Too Long

Prologue.

Loving you is not a sin, but why must I bear so much pain?

If I could choose and turn back time, then I wouldn't try not to fall in love with you. I would go back to the point in time when I didn't fall in love with you.

But I know none of this is in my control because all this is the path of my destiny.

So, may I ask instead?

If you can't love me, then stop hurting me.

Because really, I don't want this love to turn into hate.

If you can't love me, then stop torturing my feelings.

Because really, I want to remember all the sweet things between us, even if it's just a matter of fingers.

If you can't love me, then let me forget you.

***

The little girl wearing a ballerina dress bowed her body as a sign that the dance was over. The sound of applause that rang out in the fifteen by-twenty-meter room relieved her fatigue. Finally, Haisley could show off her ballet skills to someone she liked.

She straightened up. Seeing where her family should be sitting. Seeing their adoring faces. Her eyes looked around, but the person she was looking for was not there. And when the curtain closed, there was nothing the girl could do but let out a long sigh of disappointment.

"Oh my God, Mommy's girl can dance that well. I never expected it. Isn't that right, Daddy?" The voice of Mrs. Thea Smith, the girl's mother, sounded cheerful as she welcomed her daughter out into the waiting room for the performance.

"A gift for my beloved daughter." Mr. Smith then handed her a box. The little girl dressed in pink ballet clothes smiled cheerfully. "You'll open it when you get home, OK?" Her father ordered. The girls nodded immediately.

They then left the hall where the talent show was being held. Walked towards the parking lot, where another husband and wife were waiting for them.

"Shall we have dinner?" Greet the tall, bespectacled man standing towering in front of the girl dressed as a ballerina. He is Mr. Samuel Chayton. A good friend of the Smith family. His two sons are alumni of the school where Haisley is currently studying.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith nodded their heads.

"Where are the kids?" Mrs. Smith asked with searching eyes.

"Nathan said that he and Gilbert would follow us straight to the restaurant." Mr. Chayton replied.

The two families got into their respective cars and left the school to the place where the restaurant had been booked.

Haisley, the girl in the ballerina dress, sat in the back seat holding a gift in her lap. Her face looked sad as she asked, "Crystal went with Nathan too?" she asked finally.

"Yes. They have to take care of the paperwork at school to register for campus." Her mother answered again. Haisley took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Trying to hold back the tears that were starting to hurt her throat.

In fact, for the last two months, she had been training hard to get praise from Nathan. But the man instead chose to go with her older sister. Haisley felt annoyed, angry, and jealous as one.

Their journey to the restaurant was filled with silence because the girl who had just performed seemed reluctant to be disturbed.

"Save the gift first, darling." Those words came out of Mr. Smith's mouth right after the car stopped in front of the lobby of a luxurious five-star hotel that Haisley knew belonged to the Chayton family. It is said that the hotel has belonged to the Chayton family for three generations, and Nathan and Gilbert are the next heirs who will continue the Chayton clan.

Where is Nathan? Didn't his parents say he would follow, but why hasn't Haisley seen him yet? He was the man Haisley had wanted to see since before the performance started. Instead, this man chose to ignore Haisley's struggle and instead went with Crystal, Haisley's older sister, who was his classmate.

Haisley obeyed her father's orders. Put the gift away and cover her ballet outfit with her favorite dusty pink cardigan. Her ballet shoes had changed to normal flat, dusty pink shoes. OK, Haisley likes that color.

She got out of the car, and her father and mother immediately reached out their hands. Each of them took both of her hands and guided her into the hotel area.

Haisley's melancholy turned into a big smile when she saw Nathan, his younger brother Gilbert, and Haisley's older sister, Crystal, already sitting there. Two of the three people waved at her enthusiastically, which made Haisley wave back just as enthusiastically.

"Hey, ballerina." Crystal's greeting seemed to spread joy there. Haisley smiled and approached. She hugged her only older sister, seven years older than her. "Your dance was a success?" she asked curiously.

"Of course. Haisley!" Haisley answered while puffing out her chest happily.

"If your show didn't coincide with my basketball competition, by God, I would watch your show, H." A complaint accompanied by a tone of apology came from the mouth of Gilbert, Nathaniel's younger brother and Haisley's best friend, "If I were there, I would cheer for you to replace the cheerleader position for my basketball team." He continued, which made Haisley frown in disgust at the thought of a man two years older than her wearing a super short cheer uniform.

Haisley glanced again at Nathan. The only person she had been waiting for praise from. But the man just remained silent. The glass of drink before him attracted his attention more than Haisley's presence.

"Because Haisley has been successful with her dancing. Gilbert has also qualified for the quarter finals, Nathan and Crystal have managed to enter the university of their choice with scholarships. So, tonight we will celebrate together by eating delicious food." Samuel Chayton's voice enlivened the atmosphere again. And not even a minute later, their table was filled with various tempting dishes.

"So, when are you leaving?" This question made Haisley, chewing her steak, look up immediately. It turned out that her father was asking Nathan and Crystal.

"As soon as all the administration is finished." Nathaniel answered with a flat expression.

"Lucky for you, you have a son as smart as Nathan. You can retire in peace later, he could be a great successor." Praise Mr. Smith again.

Mr. Chayton nodded. His other hand rose and patted Nathan's shoulder happily. "Lucky to have an eldest child who understands our needs as parents." he continued. "After he graduates from university, I will hand over all my efforts to him," he said again.

"Poor Haisley, because soon you will be gone, she will definitely miss you very much." The teasing words came out of Mrs. Smith's mouth.

Haisley glared at her mother, intending to threaten her, but instead, it made the adults around the table laugh.

"Don't glance at the other girls there, Nath. Poor Haisley will break her heart." Mrs. Smith continued as she played with Haisley's hair and rubbed her back gently, making Haisley groan inwardly and want to hide himself because he was embarrassed. Haisley's expressive attitude invited laughter from everyone except Nathan.

"Don't worry, I will look after him for you, H. If he dares to tease another girl later, I will punish him first." Mrs. Monica Chayton's promise to Haisley.

Mrs. Smith nodded her head enthusiastically. They were working together on purpose and laughing together.

With a bright red face, Haisley glanced at Nathan. Trying to find out the man's response. But Nathan didn't seem to care about anyone at the dining table. The man seemed lost in his thoughts.

Nathan. Nathaniel Chayton. The nineteen-year-old man was Haisley's first love. Mentioning his name could make Haisley embarrassed. Usually, Haisley wants to appear neat and attractive in front of the young man.

Maybe everyone thinks their feelings are just puppy love, which will disappear and change one day. Or suspect this is just a feeling of liking like someone admires their favorite actor or actress. For Haisley, Nathan is her idol. And now, she must be disappointed because the man filling her teenage diary will leave to continue his education at a higher level. The emotional distance that has always been far away is even further away.

Haisley didn't say much because knowing that she would be separated from Nathaniel made her at a loss for words. The girl felt sad and disappointed because she would be abandoned. And considering Nathan's temperament, it was clear that there would be no communication between them in the future.

"If you really don't want to lose Nathan, prepare yourself to chase him from now on." The whisper made Haisley raise her head. She glanced at Gilbert, who was sitting next to her. The boy winked with a mischievous smile on his face. Again, the teenager put his ear closer to Haisley and whispered, "If you like him, go after him. Because everything is necessary fought for, not just ignored." he continued again.

As if getting support, Haisley's eyes lit up instantly. And the little girl nodded her head with renewed enthusiasm.

Six years later.

"Take care of yourself, don't bother Nathan and Gilbert." This word was the umpteenth time Haisley had heard Mrs. Smith's advice. She, sitting in the airport waiting room, could only nod her head at the advice of her mother, who was in another country.

"Don't just nod. You have to get rid of your spoiled attitude. Remember, there you have to focus on studying. Don't switch your focus to other things." This time, Mr. Smith joined in. Haisley could only chuckle in amusement but then nodded again.

"Well, I have to get my luggage." She said in a farewell tone. Both parents waved again at the flat screen in their hands. The faces of the middle-aged couple looked sad, apparently unwilling to let their youngest daughter go.

Yes. Haisley was following the direction of her best friend, Gilbert. Haisley is ultimately determined to fight for a scholarship to follow his soulmate.

Haisley forgot about ballerinas and chose to focus on academics so she could get good grades. For six years, she struggled, taking part in tutoring activities here and there. At first, she had difficulty adapting, considering that her brain was not as smart as Nathan's or her older sibling, Crystal's. But Haisley didn't want to give up.

Finally, in the last three years of school, she got good grades continuously. As a result, she got a scholarship to the same school as her idol. She was getting her parents' permission to go far away, even though she had to stay at Nathan and Gilbert's residence.

Of course, this condition is manageable. Because the purpose of Haisley going to England was to be close to Nathan, and now, not just one step closer. But an inch closer.

Haisley smiled to herself. She was excited by the prospect of romance that would occur between her and Nathan in the future. Just the thought of being Nathan's girlfriend made her cheeks instantly red, let alone the thought of marriage.

Haisley shook her head. Later, she can fantasize about it. Now, she has to focus on the queue to collect her luggage.

But where is Gilbert? Haisley again reached for her cell phone in her jeans pocket. Her friend said he would pick Haisley up at the airport, but there has yet to be any news.

She pulled the big suitcase with all the strength she had. Of course, she brought a lot of luggage. Apart from clothes, inside, there was also some food that her mother had deliberately put as souvenirs for Nathaniel and Gilbert.

Her cheeks heated up again. Nathan, how are you? Do you miss me too? Haisley couldn't help but blush.

Her tiny body pulled the large suitcase with some difficulty. She walked towards the airport exit. Taxis are neatly lined up there. Haisley glanced around, looking for a familiar face. Where's Gilbert? Did her best friend fall asleep and then forget to pick her up? Haisley shuddered in horror at her thoughts.

A tap on his shoulder made her yelp loudly. She turned her head and was really about to scream for help when she saw a tall, big man with bright orange hair, black glasses and a bushy beard looking down at her.

"I'm not late, am I?" asked the man in his deep, echoing voice.

Haisley frowned just as the man took off his glasses and looked at Haisley with a big grin.

"What are you doing!" She shouted. Several people turned their heads and watched the two of them.

"What am I doing?" the man asked casually.

"So, this is why you don't want to make a video call with me? Because your appearance turned ugly like this?" Haisley teased shamelessly.

Gilbert laughed out loud. "Don't insult me, H. If I get angry, I will leave you here and let strangers kidnap you. People who like children like you." The man answered in a threatening tone.

Haisley looked back at him with narrowed eyes. "Just do it if you dare!" she challenged. Gilbert laughed again and then ruffled Haisley's hair.

"How dare I? What happened later was that Crystal ravaged my handsome face. Then it was chopped up to be crocodile food by your father." he said again. Gilbert's left hand grabbed the handle of Haisley's suitcase while his right hand wrapped around her tiny shoulder. "Parking is a bit far." He said to Haisley. She just nodded and matched the man's long strides. "Ready for adventure, huh?" he asked again.

Haisley raised her head, but Gilbert didn't look at her. "How is he?" She asked curiously. Yes, for the past six years, Gilbert has been the source of information. Luckily, the man didn't mind and was always happy to help her.

"He's not good." The man answered flatly.

"What do you mean, he's sick?" Haisley asked, panicked.

Gilbert shook his shoulders. "You'll find out later, H. But before that, I'll ask you again. Are you sure you want to be with Nathan?" he asked uncertainly. Haisley nodded enthusiastically. Of course, she was sure. Otherwise, why would she want to fight this long and this far? "Are you sure you want to fight him? If later he behaves badly towards you, will you still want to survive?" he asked again.

Haisley raised the corners of her mouth. She knew the meaning of Gilbert's question. And again, she just nodded her head in response. Gilbert then shrugged her shoulders. He knew that nothing could change his little friend's mind. He roughly took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I can only help as much as I can. The rest, I can only pray for you two." He said wearily.

Haisley smiled and nodded. "Thanks, G," she said and wrapped her tiny arms around Gilbert's big waist. "By the way, is that hair that just got stuck in the gutter?" she taunted again.

Gilbert snorted and ruffled Haisley's hair again. "This is a Naruto cosplay. It's booming, you know." Gilbert replied angrily. Haisley chuckled again. "Do you want to go straight home or have lunch first?"

"Have lunch. I am very hungry." Haisley answered in a spoiled tone. Gilbert chuckled again and then nodded. He took the car keys from his trouser pocket and pressed the automatic lock button. Putting Haisley's large suitcase into the back of his silver Land Rover and then opening the passenger door for him.

Haisley bowed gracefully before getting into the tall car, making Gilbert laugh.

Gilbert drove his car and took her to a fast-food restaurant. Gilbert ordered a double-cheese beef burger with soda as an accompaniment for Haisley. As Haisley cut the large burger with a face that was almost drooling, Gilbert said. "I'm strange about you, H."

Haisley stopped her actions and raised her head to look at Gilbert. "Why?" she asked with a confused expression.

"Your body is tiny, like the aunt of the dwarves. "But your portion size can be like a giant portion."

Haisley glared at Gilbert. Bite the burger in one big bite. She is chewing it without even maintaining her image. She then swallowed before answering. "You should know, ya? Girls who eat a lot are sexier than girls who eat sparingly. Their food portions are large, but they are proud to show it. Outside of pretending to eat a little, after returning home, they can increase their portions up to three times."

Gilbert laughed and ruffled Haisley's hair again. "Yea, yea. Eat a lot, and finish it. If necessary, use a bottle of mayonnaise." Gilbert mocked. Haisley just nodded her head and went back to munching on her burger.