Mend My Soul

Noah:

“Simon!” I shouted down the stairs as a wolf pup ran past me. “I told you to eat your breakfast!”

He howled at me, charging into the living room like a bat out of hell. He leapt from the floor onto the couch, sitting there and cocking his head at me as if he thought being cute could get him out of this.

I sighed, taking slow steps toward him. “Every single morning?” I asked. “Do we have to do this every single morning? Just eat your pancakes and eggs. You know what happens when you don’t eat your chicken?”

From the table, I heard Allison as she threw her arms in the air. “The chicken king will come get us!”

“That’s right. He’ll flap on in here and demand your obedience.”

“Ah!”

“Eat.”

My brother growled at me, then shook his head before he jumped again. He dashed toward the side door, only to be intercepted by Pippa. She caught him midair, earning a cheer from the other kids who were all nice enough to sit at the table and eat the breakfast I’d made them.

“Buddy,” Pippa sighed to the pup in her hands. “You’ve gotta eat. You’ll be hungry until lunch if you don’t.”

She set him down and we both watched as he decided if he would listen or not. Obeying Pippa, he scurried off to where his pile of clothes had been discarded. Simon shifted back to his human form; a six-year-old boy who looked nothing like either Pippa or me. I blamed that on the fact that we didn’t share parents. Simon’s mother was a kind woman with the same chocolate brown hair as him, and with skin only a shade lighter. His eyes were an exact match for hers as well, like grass bleached by the sun.

“I’m eating,” the boy said once he got to the table. “Are you happy?”

“Eternally,” I deadpanned. “Everyone finish up. You have school in ten minutes.”

Pippa already had her backpack, sitting at the front door with a book while she waited for everyone else to be ready. One by one, the kids got up and grabbed their backpacks and headed to the door, leaving everything on the table for me to get later. I didn’t mind it. At this point, I had a steady routine. I’d wake up knowing what I would do every moment of the day. Routines helped when I had six kids to take care of.

“Come on,” I said to Allison, kneeling down and opening my arms to her. The toddler scurried over to me, hopping into my arms. I rose with her secured to my side. She rested her curled, red-haired head on my shoulder, sticking a thumb in her mouth.

“Everyone ready?” I asked.

I got a chorus of yes’s, and we left.

Pippa led a chain of children—all hand in hand—down the street and toward the common building. It was found in the center of our community, and where our people took their children that they wanted kept safe and inside our home. Overall, we had about a hundred people in our pack. Those numbers got lower and lower by the year.

“We’ll see you later,” Pippa said to me with a wave.

She lifted up on her toes, struggling to reach Allison for her kiss on the cheek. At fourteen, Pippa hadn’t hit a growth spurt quite yet. She was a solid five feet tall and made up of nothing but long blonde hair and crystal blue eyes that matched mine almost perfectly. She had played around with some hot pinks and purple for her hair, covering it in streaks and bursts of color. Her clothes, however, didn’t really match. She liked to wear mostly black, her lips and nails painted the same color as well. It made the bright colors on her eyelids and in her hair stand out. I never lost her in a crowd.

“Make sure Lizzie gets her homework,” I told Pippa. “It’s no fun repeating the fourth grade.”

“I heard that,” Lizzie sighed, turning on her heel and marching into the building with Jamie and Simon on either side of her.

“Good!” I called after her. She didn’t turn around.

Pippa left too, leaving me with Allison for the walk home. She stayed slumped against me, and probably wouldn’t be awake for lunch. I’d have to get her up and drag her down to the kitchen.

I bundled her up, holding her tight when the wind blew hard. It was late February in Oregon, close to the beach. Chilly air came unwelcomed in our neck of the literal woods. Our community wasn’t quite hidden, but we tucked it away from the world. Humans knew better than to wander out here, lest they find themselves dealing with territorial wolves who didn’t like being bothered. Only a real prick would have hurt a human for getting lost, but I couldn’t say our pack was without them. As for myself, I just wanted to be left alone.

“Can we watch TV?” Allison asked as I walked her back home. “I wanna watch the doggie again.”

“We can watch the doggie again,” I said, rubbing her arm when the cold put goosebumps there. “I can make you a little bed on the couch if you want.”

She nodded, closing her eyes and tucking herself against me.

The houses in our community mostly held families. I walked past them, watching parents take their kids in for school, with some of the older kids heading for the gates to public school. With a pack this large, we had neighborhoods that all surrounded the town hall. Everything got taken care of in there, and we gathered for ceremonies and various meetings that came up. I skipped as many as I could, even knowing I shouldn’t.

Everyone we passed waved hello to Allison, but my sister didn’t have the energy to wave back at them. When she yawned, they all smiled. Damn good thing. There were no children on the planet cuter than my brothers and sisters.

Once we got back home, I set Allison up on the couch and turned on her movie. The second her head hit the pillow, she fell asleep. It gave me time to clean up the kitchen and prep everything for dinner later. Maintaining cleanliness in a two-story house with this many children around was enough to test my mental strength, but what else did I have to do with my days? I had enough money left behind from my father that I didn’t have to worry, and I never would. All that left for me to do was take care of the kids. When school was in session, it made for boring days.

I heard cursing from outside. I would have ignored it, but it sounded like it came from the porch. No one came that close to my house unless they wanted a door slammed in their face, or to ask Pippa if she wanted to hang out. Since her friends would be in class with her, I took that to mean I had a person to chase off. Most likely someone asking me for something that they should have known I couldn’t give them. Most might have said wouldn’t, but they didn’t know better.

Quietly, I walked away from Allison and to the front door. Sure enough, I saw a boy leaning up against my wall, a crutch on the ground. I remembered him breaking his leg, but it had been two weeks ago.

“What are you doing here, Kevin?” I asked.

He looked up at me, sighing. “A little help?”

I rolled my eyes, but handed him the crutch. “Why do you still need this? Are you trying to milk sympathy from your teacher? Because we both know it’s not going to work.”

Kevin regained his balance, stepping away from my porch. “First off, I was only passing your house. No need to get snippy. And second, I have the cast because my leg is broken. Obviously.”

“You broke it weeks ago.”

He blinked at me. “Thank you so much for reminding me. Here, let me rip the cast off with my bare hands.”

“Why aren’t you healed yet? You should have had that off two days after you broke it.” In reality, he should have never had the cast to begin with. The leg should have been healed seconds after it had been broken, but we hadn’t had that kind of magic in several years.

“I have no idea,” Kevin answered. “I’m just as annoyed as you are. I have to write an essay for every day of gym I miss, and I’m about to get my ass kicked for being late to school. So if you don’t mind, I have hobbling to do.”

He went on his way, leaving me alone in front of my house.

A voice in my head sounded off, sounding like stone scraping against stone as it made my body feel uneasy. The magic is waning. That’s your fault.

Yeah, I already knew that.

Reagan:

It was never going to be me. You knew that.

I shivered, feeling as if a block of ice pressed against my face. I blamed the fact that I had a never-ending supply of tears pouring, and the wind blew against me. Nothing was kind, as it turned out.

I didn’t know how long I’d been walking, but my feet were covered in blisters. I knew when I took my shoes off, my socks would be a grim shade of pink, bright red, and brown. If I had the money to spare, I might have stopped to try and buy a new pair. I didn’t, and I had no idea if I was being followed. Stopping and going into a store—filthy, red-eyed, tear-stained, and with a jam-packed duffle bag—wouldn’t end well for me.

I tripped over a fallen tree, barely catching myself on a rock before I could tumble face first onto the ground. Another wound wouldn’t matter. But I didn’t want anything to get infected when I had no medical help.

The sun started to set and I could hardly keep my eyes open. I hadn’t slept in twenty hours. Even then, it had only been about half a night of sleep. I had to get someplace safe, and wasting time on sleep wouldn’t do that. As long as I got to where I was going, it didn’t matter how tired I was.

That way, I heard a familiar voice in my head say. I flinched every time. It sounded too much like Elena, and it hadn’t shut up in days.

I turned North. I had no idea what I would find there, but I followed the sound that made me think of someone who would have known what she was doing. Someone who could have solved everything. I would have at least felt safe with her.

I lifted my duffle bag, adjusting it on my shoulder. It started to get sore, even with me passing the bag from one side to the other. I had a lot of clothes stuffed inside, a baseball bat, Mom’s collection of cards, and some things that I’d had enough time to take before I left. Elena would have said let it go. It wasn’t important.

It was the only important thing left.

I broke through the thick of trees in these dense woods, finding a stream. I wanted to dip my hands into the water, cleaning myself as best as I could. It didn’t seem like a good idea, but I wasted a couple of minutes thinking about it anyway. As well as resting my feet as I sat down on a huge rock.

I checked the bottom of my boots, making sure the duct tape had held up. I’d wrapped them last time I’d stopped, feeling the rubber wearing down. A new pair would cost more than I wanted to pay, but I hoped these would last until I got somewhere safe.

I attempted detangling my hair with my fingers, working them through my long, dark brown curls. It did nothing, but it made me feel halfway human. I wasted too much time doing it, but I wanted to feel different. If I could have dove into the stream and washed away all the dirt and misery, I would have.

Sighing, I settled against the rock. I should have gotten up and moved again, but my body needed the rest as the last of the sunlight vanished. I was far from helpless, but the sunset wasn’t a good thing all the same. I needed a place to sleep. Hell, I needed a place to live.

North, a voice commanded me. Go North.

I rose, gathering up my things again before I followed the instinct. My stomach growled as I walked. I listened to animals scurry along in the woods. Rabbits ran by, not caring that I was broken down and on the verge of lying on the ground and letting the earth take me. Why would they care? Why would anything in the world recognize what happened to me?

I walked until I thought I would collapse, wondering still where I needed to go. That voice pointed me in a direction, as if trying to be sure when I couldn’t. I had no one to turn to. No safe place I could hide after leaving my home behind. It hadn’t been much of a home, but it had four walls and a floor to sleep on.

When I couldn’t stand the hunger anymore, I knew I would have to break and spend money I needed to save. I found my way out of the woods, walking another hour and finding a McDonalds off the highway. It was dark enough that I thought I could go unnoticed. No one wanted to get tangled up in the kind of mess a homeless teenager would have brought.

The heat of the McDonalds brought feeling back into my fingers when I stepped inside. A few employees stood around back chatting, one girl waited at the counter, and another sat at a table in the empty-ish room. I relaxed, thinking they wouldn’t give me much trouble.

“Can I get a number one, please?” I asked, a ten-dollar bill already in my hand.

The girl punched it into the register. “Any sauces?”

“Barbeque.”

She put it in, took my cash, and gave me my change. The smell of food cooking almost made me sick. Other than the last couple days, I hadn’t had fast food in nearly a decade. My stomach hated it, but I couldn’t afford anything else.

I took my food and found a seat in the corner. I wanted to soak up as much heat as I could before I would have to be outside again. I even considered finding out when this place closed and seeing about breaking in. It wasn’t right, but freezing to death would have been a slap in the face to everything my sister had done for me. I refused to let myself die.

North, I heard. Keep moving.

I ate my sandwich, doing my best not to choke with how eagerly I shoved the food into my mouth. No one stared at least. I got to eat in peace.

“Are you coming over for the party?” I heard one of the people in the back saying to a coworker. “I managed to get a keg and I can’t drink it all myself.”

“Shit, is it Saturday?”

“Yeah.”

A girl sighed. “I have a wedding to go to. My cousin. You remember Becky?”

“No.”

“She’s the werewolf. Her husband-to-be is one too, so they’re doing the whole mating thing. It’s a big deal and my mom will never forgive me if I skip out on it. Bit of a jerk move.”

I turned to look at the people talking. They hovered around the fry machine, salting them as they discussed the wedding plans. If I had more courage, I would have asked where the pack of wolves lived. I had been taught that they mostly stuck together in big clusters, and in wooded areas so they could run properly. It gave me an idea.

Would my grandfather’s pack take me in even though I wasn’t a wolf? At least I wasn’t human. That would have been dangerous, what with wolves being hot heads most of the time. I could at least protect myself. Though that might have been the exact thing that stood in my way. If I seemed like a threat to the wolves, then they wouldn’t want me around. Not everyone saw me as some useful weapon to play with. I didn’t have any other options.

Once I finished eating, I threw my trash away and approached the counter again. The chatting girls looked back at me. I froze, thinking I would get in trouble. I hadn’t done anything wrong, but it felt like I’d done everything wrong.

“Excuse me?” I asked, “do either of you know how far away Salem is?”

“Um,” one of the girls said. “I think it’s like a six hour drive up North.”

I felt colder.