Neighbors

I let out a sigh of relief as I stared at the building in front of me, holding tightly onto my boxes. The house wasn’t one of those mansions that everyone dreamed about having, but it was big enough to accommodate me and all my belongings. Not that it even mattered at this point. If I had gotten something as small as a hut, I still would have moved into it. The neighborhood I had been living in before was really noisy and toxic. Luckily for me, I got just the perfect house—clean, spacious, and most importantly, quiet. The tenants in the houses beside mine were elderly and not always around. I was told they only bought the houses as an asset and were not even in the country presently. The house opposite was mine was also vacant, making my dream of a perfect house and the perfect neighbors a reality.

I slid the card through the door as I made my way in. The living room was very spacious. It had beautiful white walls that enhanced its appearance, and the cushions were placed exactly where they needed to be. The windows had black blinds that complemented the white walls, giving the living room the perfect finishing touch.

“Ahhh,” I said happily as I fell onto the comfortable cushions. Unpacking wasn’t a problem; at the moment, I just wanted to sleep and then head out to get groceries and takeout for dinner.

The piercing sound of my phone woke me from my deep sleep. I checked the screen to see the love of my life was calling. I had called him multiple times today, but he didn’t answer so I thought he was busy.

“Hi, babe,” I said.

“Hey, love…uhm, so we need to talk. I have something really important to tell you,” he replied.

“Oh, should I be worried?” I asked.

“No. Come on, baby. I won’t ever leave you,” he said.

Leave? Who said anything about leaving? Okay, now I was getting worried. “Babe, I meant should I be worried about the promotion you're trying to get at work. It had nothing to do with you leaving. I hope everything is fine with us?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah. Uhm, yeah, work is perfectly fine. I did get promoted; I received the letter yesterday."

“Wait, you got promoted yesterday and you didn’t tell me until just now when I asked? Or is this the something important you wanted to tell me?” I asked.

“Uhm, no, it’s not that; it’s something way more important. I was going to tell you about the promotion, but I had a lot going on,” he said.

Part of me was scared of what he could possibly want to talk about, but another part wasn’t. The voices in my head had about a thousand different ideas about what he could possibly want to tell me.

“It's fine, babe. Right now I’m preparing for an interview, so uhm, how about you tell me this important thing right after I’m done?” I asked.

“Sounds great, my love. I hope you’ve already researched the company thoroughly? How’s your new house?” he replied.

“Yeah, I think I'll do well, and the house is perfectly fine,” I said.

“Hmm, that’s great. I'll come by when you're done, and we'll talked about the important stuff. Love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” I replied.

Judging by the conversation we'd just had, whatever he wanted to talk about definitely had to do with our relationship. And it would either turn out good or very bad. My best guess was a proposal or a break up. I didn’t think I was ready for either, but I would very much prefer the former to the latter.

*****

I felt my stomach churn as anxiety overwhelmed me. I had just completed the first phase of the interview, which didn’t go so well. Now it was time for the skills test.

“Hello, will all applicants come with me please?” A young lady dressed in a miniskirt and a half-unbuttoned shirt said as she led us into a big hall.

As soon as I sat down in one of the seats, I realized I'd left my bag behind in the waiting room. It had my pen and my I.D., but the door had already been shut and they had already started passing out the question and answer sheets to the seats in front.

I looked around, wondering how I would make my way out of the hall without getting everyone’s attention. While I was still contemplating what to do, I heard a voice from behind me.

“Hey, you left your bag back there,” a young lady said as she handed the bag to me.

“Oh my, you’re a life saver! I was just trying to figure out how I could go get it. Thank you so much,” I replied.

“Yeah, it’s fine. You should be more careful next time though,” she said.

“Yeah, you know this anxiety thing has me pretty dazed,” I replied.

“I totally understand. I was quite nervous too. I still am. Plus, I noticed how tense you were in the waiting room; you kept reading your notes to yourself,” she laughed.

“I did?” I said in surprise. “Well, thanks for helping with my bag again."

“You’re welcome,” she said as she headed back to her seat.

The test lasted a whole hour. It was almost like a school exam, except the questions were more practical and related to the job itself.

“Hi, how did it go?” the young lady that had helped with my bag earlier said as she approached me.

“Not bad. It wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be. I hope I get selected,” I said.

She chuckled, “I hope so too, but don’t let your hopes get too high. I hear they only accept people who already have connections."

“What, so this whole interview process is just a lie?” I asked.

“Uhm, I wouldn’t say it’s a lie; it’s more like…wait, no, you’re right. It’s a lie,” she replied.

“If that's true, then why are you here? Do you have connections?” I asked.

“Not really. My boyfriend kind of knows someone who knows someone,” she giggled.

“Oh, great. Good for you,” I replied. For a minute, I was kind of disappointed, but then I already knew the chances of getting this job were very slim.

Despite the rocky interview, I was elated when I got home. The fact that I was in a place that felt very much like home and happened to be mine alone was thrilling. I decided to call Mark. I’d been expecting his call, but I assumed he was very busy because he just got promoted.

“Finally!” I exclaimed. I'd called him several times, but his line had always been busy.

“What’s up?” he replied.

“Babe, is everything okay? Is work stressing you out?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m kind of busy right now. I’ll call you back,” he said.

I thought that was a fairly cold response. But then I was probably overthinking things. Maybe he was under a lot of pressure at work. Since I had a spare key to his house, I decided to go over to his place and surprise him. I knew how tiring his job could be sometimes, and he didn’t have the word 'relax' in his dictionary.

I packed a few clothes, thinking I would stay over for a couple of days. He always said I was his safe place and that I brought him comfort. Maybe having me over for a while would ease his stress.

The security at the gates to his community delayed me. They kept telling me they had to call the resident I was visiting before they could let me in. Because of a certain incident, they'd become very strict about who they let in. Thankfully one of the security guards recognized me; he had seen me with Mark several times before, and I was always friendly to him.

But I now had a very weird feeling, like something very strange was going on. And it was already proving to be true. I could see Mark’s car parked right outside his house; this was strange because if he were home, why didn’t he call to ask how my interview went? And why did he cut me off on the phone if he wasn't busy at work? I decided to listen to the little voice in my head that said his car must have broken down and he must have taken an uber to work.

I turned the key in the lock and was met with an empty house. It was a big relief. I guess I had been overthinking things after all. There was no way Mark would ever cheat on me or hurt me. He even said so himself.

*****

I let out a deep sigh as I dried my hands on the towel. I'd just cooked some fried rice and beef, one of Mark’s favorite meals. I could hear noises coming from outside, and I'd already guessed it was him.

“Just in time!” I said excitedly.

I'd started to set the food on the dining table when I heard the door slide open. I looked over to see Mark, and right behind him was a lady. Somehow her face looked awfully familiar.

I could see the surprise on Mark’s face, but it wasn’t a happy expression. He looked startled, like he'd seen a ghost.

“Surprised?” I smiled.

“Go shower and then come eat,” I said as waited for him to reply. I didn’t say anything about the lady, who looked angry and startled as well. Maybe she was just a friend. Mark was an only child, so she definitely wasn’t his sister.

“Hey, wh-what are you doing here?” he stuttered.

“Well, you sounded stressed over the phone, so I decided to come over to help take care of you."

“You, you should have called."

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” I looked over at him and the lady; they both remained stiff. I could see the lady staring at him with rage in her eyes.

“I don't like surprises. You should know that by now,” he said angrily. Mark had never spoken to me this way before. I had a lot of theories as to what was going on here, but I didn’t want to assume anything.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, my smile fading.

He walked over to sit on the couch in the living room and brushed his hair back with his hands. He seemed very uncomfortable. I decided to ask him what was wrong, but before I could, the young lady spoke.

“So she still has your spare key?” she said, voice full of disgust and anger.

I didn’t say a word, waiting for Mark to speak. I watched as he struggled with his words. I wasn’t going to assume anything just yet. I’d wait for Mark to explain first.

“Well, yeah. That’s normal. She's…” he paused.

I was starting to think that everything was fine after all.

“She…she was my…” he continued and stopped. I could feel my heart racing, and there was this strange shiver that went through my body. I just remained in the dining room, watching everything unfold.

“B, I think now’s the time to tell her,” she said as she walked from the door to sit on the couch beside Mark.

He looked over at me. “Uhm, babe."

“You said you wouldn’t use that word again,” she leaned over and whispered into his ear. I was on high alert at this point, so I could hear everything.

“Uhm, Irene, please come here. Let’s talk."

He'd used my name. I was suddenly sure I knew what was going to happen next. I walked over to the living room and sat on the couch opposite them.

“Uhm,” he let out a deep sigh. “Remember when I said that we needed to talk about something important? Well, this is it. I’m so sorry. I really didn’t want it to be this way. You are a thoughtful person, and I know you understand me. That’s why I let my heart go after what it really wants.” He looked over at the lady. Now that I saw her face clearly, I remembered where I knew her from: the job interview. So this was the boyfriend she'd mentioned, the one who would help her get the job.

“Irene, our relationship has always been more like that of best friends or even family. I’m sure a part of you feels this way too. Maybe you just haven’t realized it yet. Please understand and don’t be hurt. I will always be here as a friend and brother if you’re ever in need,” he said.

I let out a scoff as I battled the tears that were clouding my eyes. I couldn’t cry here; I would look even more foolish than he already thought I was. So thoughtful people had to go through terrible things just because they were thoughtful? I'd always wondered why people acted really selfish and mean around me sometimes. Now I got it. It was all because I was ‘thoughtful.’ I must have looked weak because I was a good person.

“I have to get my th-things,” I stuttered as I stood up, looking away from them. The tears had clouded my vision already, and as I made my way out of the living room, I hit my leg on the couch and almost tripped.

I tried wiping the tears off my face as I grabbed the little box I'd brought with me. Thank God I didn’t unpack any of my stuff when I got here earlier. As I approached the door, I noticed that the lady was already in the dining room. She was clearing the table.

“How do you plan on getting home?” he asked like he cared.

“Same way I got here,” I replied.

I'd already ordered an uber, and the driver would be outside any moment now.

The ride back home was silent. For some reason, I couldn’t even get myself to cry. Maybe he wasn't worth my tears. Or maybe I was such a ‘thoughtful’ person that I could ‘understand’ what had just happened. No, that wasn't it. I still couldn’t get myself to accept the fact that a guy I had dated for three years just broke up with me because he thought I was thoughtful and could understand that he needed to follow his heart. I was feeling very hot, but somehow, I found myself shivering.

“Ma’am, do you want me to turn off the AC?” the driver asked.

“No, thanks. I’m fine,” I said through my teeth. I felt so much heat on the inside, but still I couldn’t stop shivering. Was this a symptom of heartbreak? I had been trying to feel something since I left his house, but I still felt so empty.

The rest of the journey was silent. Thankfully the driver minded his own business after he tried asking what was wrong and I ignored him. I felt…empty. I wanted to scream. I was too overwhelmed by all that had happened, and no matter how hard I tried to cry, the tears just wouldn’t come. I didn’t even know what I was doing anymore. As soon as I got into my apartment, I ran to my room to stare at a picture of us. Then it hit me. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. I grabbed my phone from my bag immediately and sent him a text: 'What just happened?'

It went through immediately. I waited for his reply. I was willing to wait forever; I just needed him to tell me it wasn’t real. Maybe it had been a prank. Maybe it was all just a test.

My phone beeped, and I checked to see one new message from him.

'I’m sorry,' he'd texted back.

'This is a joke right? What did I do wrong??'

'This can't just be because I am a ‘thoughtful’ person, right?'

'Well then I’m very sorry for being so thoughtful and nice. I can change.'

My messages were all delivered and read immediately. I tried sending another message, but it turned out he had blocked me. I tried calling as well, but the call ended after the first beep.

I screamed out loud as tears flowed from my eyes. Why were humans so unreliable? Just few days ago, he had been assuring me he would never leave.

The hardest part about heartbreak is the part where you get stuck on the memories you both had. Those moments that became memories you cherish so much, slow down the process of healing. It’s been two weeks since the break up and I haven’t been able to get over Mark at all, the only good thing that has happened is coming to terms with the fact that all that happened is very real, and I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. It is a ‘good thing’ because the first step to healing is coming to terms with the fact that the person you trusted the most broke you, and as a matter of fact it actually really happened.

I sat on the floor in the kitchen, waiting for the frozen chicken I put in the microwave to defrost. It was my first attempt at cooking since the breakup. I’d been ordering takeout, which I usually ended up throwing in the bin because I always lost interest in eating after the first bite.

The beep of the microwave startled me, I had drifted off already, memories about Mark and I won’t stop flowing through my mind. I let out a deep sigh as I walked towards the microwave, the chicken hadn’t defrosted yet. I increased the timer and was heading back to my spot on the floor when I heard a loud noise outside. I rushed to living room, and the sound got clearer. It was a Sia song, and not just a song but my favorite: ‘Bird Set Free.’ I smiled, for the first time in two weeks, knowing someone else out there loved the song made me feel not so alone. I was heading back to the kitchen when I noticed the sound wasn’t stopping, I had thought it was a car passing by that was playing the song out loud, but somehow it still sounds loud and as close as ever, I turned back and rushed towards the window to peep and I saw a young man, packing groceries from his car into the house opposite mine. I thought the house was vacant. He seemed like that loud ‘party every Friday’ kind of neighbor and that was the last thing I wanted, not even now when I was trying to get over mark and needed silence. No matter how much I hate it, there’s just so little I could do, I just hope he minds his business and stays far away from me.

This is the third serving of sauced chicken and pasta I would be having. Maybe Gluttony was one of the symptoms of heartbreak recovery process. Now I remember Mark thought me how to make it, it was one of his favorites and turned out being mine as well. I let out a scoff through a mouth full of pasta.

“Bastard” I muttered. As I stood up with the dish of pasta and walked over to the kitchen to get the pot so I could turn everything into the bin. I hate him so much, and every single thing that has to do with him, how could someone be so wicked? What did I ever do to him? As these questions go through my mind they get accompanied by tears, I felt so helpless. I just sat down by the bin with the empty pot on the floor and cried to my heart’s content.

*****

“Who is it?” I muttered. If the bin was human it wouldn’t have heard because of how low my voice was.

I stayed still and continued lying on the floor, hoping the doorbell wouldn’t ring again, but it continued. I let out a deep sigh as I cussed under my breath, I wanted to be alone who on earth was it.

I opened the door to see a young man, my first guess was that he was the new neighbor, but I wasn’t sure, I didn’t see his face earlier, only his back view when he carried groceries in. I stayed by the door and didn’t say a word.

“Hi, I am your new neighbor,” he said with a smile, like he really wanted that neighbor friendship thing. I still didn’t say a word and just stared at him with a straight face. If he was wise he would not talk any further and just mind his business and go back to his house.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Mark Will. I live just opposi—” Before he could complete his sentence, I scoffed, cutting him off. How can his name be Mark? The audacity! I scoffed again and shook my head. My whole life seemed like a movie at this point.

I cleared my throat “erm, let this be the last time you do this, I don’t care if you live here or in the clouds, just stay out of my business” I said angrily. I saw the smile he had on his face fade. I couldn’t care less and stormed back inside.

As I made my way in I fell on the floor, now resting my back on the door and hugging my knees. Why did life have to be unfair sometimes, I could hear a tiny voice in my head tell me life wasn’t unfair to me and I was doing just fine, but I ignored it. The guy I loved and trusted so much, hurt me, how could I ever trust anyone again?

*****

I tilted my head to the side, hoping the noise would stop. Its midnight and I’ve only just started to really sleep after several failed attempts and images of Mark in my head. I opened eyes and tried listening closely, now that I have gotten out of the unconscious state, I could hear clearly. The music playing was loud enough to burst people’s eardrum. My first guess was my new neighbor Mark… sorry Will, and I was right he turned out to be the one when I checked through the blinds in the living room. People were going in and out of his house. My instincts were right about him being the lousy, party every Friday type of neighbor. What is wrong with him, why would he be disrupting other people’s peace just for some vain party that would only give temporary pleasure?

I decided to go over and ask him to turn down the volume of the music or end the party because he wasn’t the only one in the neighborhood. I didn’t bother changing my outfit, it was just plain white shorts and a blue crop hoodie.

“Hello, I would like to talk to the owner of this house” I said angrily to the first person I saw sitting at the entrance.

“I think I last saw him by the” he goes off and starts looking at me. He was obviously drunk and maybe even high.

“Uhm, Hello, you were saying?” I waved my hands.

“Kitchen, kitchen” he said this time, as he stood up and walked back in. I followed, thinking he was taking me to where Will was, but he slumped on the couch in the living room, on two lovers, who screamed and cussed at his unconscious body as they pushed him off themselves.

I walked to the kitchen to search for Will, I was getting angrier by the minute and couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like walking to the speaker and smashing it. I sat on a table by the kitchen trying to stay calm and also look out for him, just then I spotted one of my Mark’s favorite drink on the shelf, I don’t know why but this strangely sent shivers down my spine and a tear dropped from my eyes, that’s pretty much all I could remember, I found myself lying on a mat along with strange faces in the living room the following morning.

‘What am I doing here’ I thought to myself as rubbed my face to clear my eyes. I am really in my neighbor’s house. I can remember how I got in but how did I end up here, on the floor lying beside strangers in his living room. I tried so hard to remember something but I couldn’t. I felt like something huge happened but I just couldn’t remember. I sat up, resting on one hand.

“No, ewww,” I muttered as the young man that was lying beside me placed one of his hands on my back. He muttered a few indistinguishable words, and when I hit his hand off me, he placed it on the other lady lying beside him, who was still sleeping as well.

I stood up immediately and looked around to see if I could spot the guy I came here to see anywhere but he wasn’t anywhere around. Now that I could take a good look at his house, it is way more spacious than mine. I mean what did I expect, his house was a big duplex, and mine was just a bungalow.

After looking around and admiring how spacious and fine the house is, I decided to head back to my house. I thought about looking for him and going up stairs but that wouldn’t make any sense I would seem like a really crazy neighbor.

I got to my apartment feeling really thirsty, with a sharp pain in my head. I obviously got drunk but how? I head to the fridge immediately. I let out a gasp as I finished the second cup of water. Just then I get flashing images of me being in Will’s face and shouting.

“Oh, no” I exclaimed. I tried to remember what really happened but everything was blank. Now I wouldn’t stop panicking. What if I said something I wasn’t supposed to or did something I shouldn’t have?

I spent the next two hours trying to think about what really happened and calm my anxious nerve. Just then I start to remember all that happened. I could feel my heart racing against my chest. I decided to head to his house and apologize immediately.