Our Omega

Darkness. Footsteps. The scent of blood in the air. Crack. Pain. Snap. Agony. Slice. Scream.

Noah jerked awake in a panic. Skin slick with sweat and panting for breath, he struggled to calm his racing heart as he scrambled to remember where he was. Blinking against the brightness of the room, it took him a moment to make out the rich earth tones of the room around him. Relief rushed through him. It was his bedroom at the Grand Rapids Pack House. Thank God.

For months, it had been the same thing. Night after night, he was dragged away from much needed sleep and forced to relive the most traumatic experience of his life. It had gotten so bad, he was no longer able to sleep in a bed. It left him feeling too vulnerable, too exposed. Now he spent every night sleeping in a chair by the window. It was the one place he felt secure enough to risk a loss of consciousness. At least this time he’d made it through the night. A soft, golden light glowed through the trees and in through his window. He drew in a deep breath and turned his attention outward in a desperate attempt to calm his frazzled nerves.

A pair of mourning doves cooed to each other softly from the eaves of the house. Looking outside, he took in the clear blue sky of a beautiful, cloudless day. There was a gentle breeze moving through the trees caused their branches to bob lazily. With his eyes closed and his face tilted up to the sun, Noah could almost pretend he felt the light kiss of air teasing against his skin in a gentle caress. The phantom draft would tickle up the length of his arm and…

The sound of a door slamming down the hall snapped him out of his musings. He didn’t bother to choke back his sigh of frustration as he glared at the door. He wanted to ignore it, hoping that whoever was outside would eventually assume he was out and go away. Company made it hard to wallow in misery. Unfortunately, solitude was not something easy to come by in his new, temporary digs.

With Eli being mated to the Alpha of the Grand Rapids Pack, and Noah now being homeless, he was squatting with the local wolves until they were able to figure out his father’s master plan and stop him. While he was grateful for their hospitality, it was difficult for him to be surrounded by so many people. Shifters were a very tight knit, affectionate group of people. As a man who could no longer stand to be touched, Noah lived in a constant state of caution. It was exhausting. When the knock sounded again, he knew the gig was up.

“For God’s sake, quit knocking and come in already!”

“It’s about fucking time. I thought I was going to have to break down the door.” His brother Eli loped into the room and dropped down on the bed like he owned the place. Since he was mated to the Pack Alpha, he kind of did.

Noah scowled at the thought. “I’m busy, E. What do you want?”

Eli scoffed. “I can see that. Ending global warming and creating world peace, are we? I came to see if you wanted to go for a run. You haven’t shifted in months, and I’m itching to get out and stretch my legs. What do you say?”

Noah shook his head. “I’m good. Maybe another time.”

“Come on, Noah. It’s a beautiful day and it would be good for you to go outside and get some fresh air.”

“Leave it alone, E,” he answered firmly. “My answer is no.”

Jumping to his feet, Eli stormed over to where Noah sat, glowering darkly. “This is bullshit, Noah! We’ve let you stay locked up in this godforsaken room for the last few months, only coming out for meals or after everyone else has gone to bed, hoping that you would eventually snap out of this funk on your own. It’s clear to me now that’s not going to happen. You’re my brother, and I miss the hell out of you. The time for coddling you is done. If you won’t do it on your own, I will drag you out of this room kicking and screaming.”

“Is that so?” Noah snarled, his body taut and ready for a fight. “You think you’re strong enough to force me to do anything I don’t want to do?”

Eli’s complete disregard for Noah’s Alpha status had his wolf bristling inside him. Brother or no, his wolf didn’t like the challenge he saw in the younger man’s eyes.

“Try me.” With his arms hanging loose and ready at his sides and a defiant gleam in his eyes, it was clear that Eli meant business.

“I think being mated to the Pack leader may have gone to your head,” Noah sneered. “You don’t rule over me, Alpha mate.”

“I’m not trying to rule over you, asshole. I’m trying to look out for you. Can’t you understand that? You are my brother and I’m worried about you. Please, let me help you.”

Noah sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. “E, I get what you’re trying to do here. Really, I do. I appreciate the thought, but I just can’t.”

“Why, Noah? I want to understand.”

Noah looked away and found himself faced with the same four walls that had been both his salvation and his prison for the last three months. Ever since the day the Grand Rapids Pack had rescued him from his father’s deranged Beta, Carl Yager.

Just the thought of his time spent with Carl had Noah breaking out in a cold sweat and shaking like a junkie looking for his next fix. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Give me a chance, Noah. I might understand more than you think.”

“He made me weak, E!” Noah snapped, his chest heaving. “That bastard nearly killed me, and there was nothing I could do to stop him.”

Eli’s expression softened. “Noah, you had no idea that Alpha Steele was insane enough to send Carl after his own son. He should never have been a threat to you. Carl had no honor. He never would have bested you in a fair fight so he used your trust against you. He was a coward.”

“None of that matters, Eli. I’m an Alpha. I’m meant to protect and lead the Pack. Shifters respect strength and control. Carl was able to strip me of both. How can I face the Pack, shamed as I am? I know I deserve it, but after everything else, I can’t stand to see their looks of pity and disgust. I would rather spend the rest of my life in this room than face their scorn.”

“That’s crap, Noah,” Eli spat. “What you say might be true of the Mason Pack, but the Grand Rapids Pack is nothing like that. If you ever left this room and got to know people, you’d see that you’ve already been accepted as a member of the Pack. Everyone has been worried about you. Every day I have to fend off questions from Pack members about how you’re doing and when you might feel up to having visitors. I think you may have a secret admirer or two, based on the amount of food and gifts that have been left outside your front door over the past few weeks. What you did for me and for this Pack is something we’ll never be able to repay.”

Noah scoffed. “I didn’t do anything except allow myself to be captured and tortured by a psychopath. Big help.”

“Are you kidding? If it hadn’t been for you, we wouldn’t have had any clue what Alpha Steele was up to. Who knows how long it would have taken us to figure out what was going on?” Eli reached out and placed a hand on his arm. “Carl was coming for me, Noah. Without your warning, Kellan might not have ever found me. He wouldn’t have even known where to look. Whether you believe it or not, you saved me. You need to move past this and start living again. You have people here that care about you…more than you probably realize. We want you back.”

“You’re wasting your time, E. There’s not much left here to save.”

Eli flashed him a lopsided grin. “But there is something. You know me. I’ll take what I can get.”

Noah shook his head, unable to smother the small smile that curled his lips. “You’re practically scraping the bottom of the barrel this time around, little brother.”

Noah enjoyed the moment of camaraderie. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend that they were still carefree boys, facing the world fearlessly. Making plans and waiting for the day when they would help guide and protect their Pack. Instead of the joy that the idea usually brought, Noah found himself fighting off a cold wash of panic. Sweat beaded on his forehead and his throat felt tight and swollen as he struggled to breathe through the suffocating wave of terror. Just the thought of leading a Pack had him damn near frozen in fear.

Perceptive as always, Eli seemed to sense Noah’s turmoil. He took a step forward and pulled him into a firm yet affectionate hug. Noah tensed at the unexpected contact. It had been so long since anyone had touched him with any kindness. He’d been unable to accept the comfort offered after he’d been freed from Carl’s clutches. Couldn’t take having anyone’s hands on him. He still didn’t know if he could handle it, but something about knowing it was his brother’s arms wrapped around him, his familiar scent teasing Noah’s senses, allowed him to accept the touch for what it was—a lifeline. Tension slowly started to ease from his body, leaving him shaken and weary, like he’d just gone twelve rounds with a prize fighter.

“Whatever he did to you, whatever he threatened, know that we will do everything in our power to help you feel safe again. Me and Kellan, the Pack, we’re all here to help you in any way we can.”

And just that quickly, the moment ended. Noah shoved Eli away and glared at his brother with an anger that should have sent him running for the hills.

Hurt flickered in Eli’s eyes. “What the hell, Noah?”

Snarling, Noah fisted his hands at his sides and tried to drag in a calming breath. A dozen breaths later and he was still feeling far from calm. “I’m not a child in need of coddling. I don’t need you, Kellan or the Grand Rapids Pack to take care of me. I’m an Alpha. I can protect myself. Go care for your mate. I’m sure he’ll have use of your talents.”

Eli’s eyes widened, his face awash with shock. He lifted his hands in front of him, clearly trying to ease Noah’s anger, to no avail. Hands fisted and jaw clenched, Noah was unappeased by the weaker wolf’s attempt to gentle him. It was clear both man and wolf didn’t know their place in the Pack hierarchy. Familial bonds aside, if he didn’t learn soon, Noah was going to be forced to show him.

“Noah, I know you don’t need help, but sometimes it’s just nice to allow someone else to take over and handle things for you. Everyone needs a break where they can relax and let down their guard—even Alpha wolves who are too stubborn for their own good.”

The impish smile Eli flashed his way succeeded in diminishing some of Noah’s ire, but he was still left feeling short-tempered and irritable. Letting out a weary sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair before giving it a rough tug.

“I had plans, you know?” Noah growled and began pacing the room. “I was going to take over as Alpha when Dad was ready to step down. I was going to find my mate, have a couple of kids and lead the Pack to the best of my ability. I know it wasn’t a real lofty dream, but it was mine, and I was happy with it.”

Noah stopped and looked up at his brother’s confused face. He wished that he could find a way to explain. “I don’t know where I go from here, E. After everything that’s happened—after what Carl did to me—I’m not the same man I was. I can’t…feel like I did before.”

Eli’s brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.”

Noah blew out a breath as he struggled to find the right words. “I can’t remember everything from the attack, but I do have memories from before it. Only now, they all feel hollow, like they belong to someone else. I can remember things, like the excitement of a new challenge and love for my family. Unfortunately, there’s also fear, helplessness, shame and pain. Those are the memories that have stuck with me over the last few months—the reason I stay locked up in this apartment.”

“But, Noah, everything is different now. Carl is dead and you have the whole Grand Rapids Pack backing you up. You won.”

“Did I?” Noah laughed, the bitter sound lacking all humor. “You know, it’s not the pain that breaks you, although it came damn close. It’s the helplessness. The complete and total loss of self. Carl wanted to destroy me and he succeeded. That man was a soulless monster, and I hope he’s spending eternity roasting on a spit in hell.”

“He didn’t destroy you.”

Eli reached out a comforting hand that Noah quickly evaded, unable to bear the thought of being touched while his nightmares were so close to the surface.

“So, yeah, you’ve got some stuff to work through,” Eli admitted. “Maybe you should talk to somebody—”

“Oh, hell fucking no! No way in hell am I going to talk to some stranger about my feelings and rehash the worst experience of my life. I will never open that door again, E. Those wounds are barely healed. I refuse to let some crackpot shrink open them up and poke at them to see if they still bleed. Some things are better left in the past. If you can’t understand that, then I don’t think we have anything else to talk about.”

His tone was clipped and colder than he’d intended, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. While he knew Eli’s concern came from a place of love and caring, Noah didn’t like the concern in Eli’s voice. It made him feel weak and that was something he’d promised himself he’d never be again.

Hurt flickered in Eli’s eyes but was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. He looked like he wanted to argue but after a moment’s pause, he seemed to change his mind. “All right,” he murmured in resignation. “I’ll let it go for now, but if the nightmares don’t start to go away on their own, we’re going to revisit the topic.” The pointed look he directed at Noah made it clear that he meant business.

Noah rolled his eyes and flipped him the bird, effectively dismissing his concern. “Whatever you say, Mom.”

Chuckling, Eli shook his head. “You are such an ass.”

“That does seem to be the general consensus.” It was impossible to miss the wariness in his brother’s eyes. Noah’s smile melted away and a sense of foreboding took its place. “Now, why don’t you tell me the real reason you came to see me? I doubt it was because of my winning personality.”

Eli hesitated, clearly startled by Noah’s bluntness. “Malachi and Ryker just got back from their scouting trip up north. They think they’ve got a lead to follow and a possible location of one of the breeding facilities.” Eli met his eyes, giving Noah a beseeching look. “Kellan wants you to be at the meeting. You two were always so much alike when we were younger. No one was closer to Alpha Steele than you. With the amount of time you spent with the man throughout the years, Kellan figures you would have the best insight on what Daddy Dearest is up to.”

“Excuse me?” Noah wasn’t sure he’d heard his brother right.

“Don’t get all offended,” Eli groaned. “You know what I mean.”

“No,” Noah answered coldly, “I don’t think I do, Eli. I thought the man loved us and he turned around and sent someone to torture and kill me. I think it’s pretty obvious that I don’t know the first thing about him so I’d appreciate it if you and Kellan would stop drawing parallels between us, right fucking now! It makes me sick. After everything he’s done to me and others? Fuck you, Eli!”

“We didn’t mean it the way you think,” Eli stammered. “It’s just—”

Noah cut him off with a pointed glare. “Don’t waste your breath. I imagine I can clear some time in my schedule to make Kellan’s little pow-wow,” he retorted, his tone deep under the weight of his anger. “When and where?”

Eli sighed. “Kellan has everyone meeting in the main dining room in an hour. For now, it’s just going to be the Betas and the Gammas, Kellan doesn’t want to worry the rest of the Pack until we have something more concrete.” Eli met his eyes hesitantly. “I really am sorry for what I said, Noah. I know how it sounded and, for what it’s worth, it’s definitely not how I meant it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Noah replied scornfully. “Now, if there’s nothing else, I think it’s time for you to go.”

“Oh, you’re dismissing me, are you? Have you forgotten that I am the Alpha mate and this is my House?” Eli arched an imperious brow.

Noah slammed his hands down on the windowsill, causing the glass to rattle violently in the frame. “Your title doesn’t mean shit to me!” Noah roared. “I am Alpha. No matter who you’re fucking, you will never rule over me. I lead, others follow. It’s as simple as that.”

“Well, look who grew his balls back,” Eli drawled, his eyes heavy lidded and a bored expression stamped on his face. “I was starting to wonder.”

“Excuse me?” Noah rumbled, his anger rising to an incendiary level. Eli was treading on dangerous ground.

“For the last few months you’ve been haunting this place like a goddamned ghost. I’ve tried everything I could think of to get you to snap out of it. Who knew the only thing I needed to do was piss you off to get you to start acting like the Alpha you are. Throw in a bit of over-the-top-concern and you become your normal asshole self.”

Noah scowled. “I’m an Alpha. I care for others, not the other way around. I don’t need you to be concerned about me, like I’m a child. I’m not that weak.”

“Having people care about you and want to help you is not a weakness. It means you have people in your life who give a shit about you, asshole. Was I weak when Kellan and the Pack helped me when I was recovering after escaping from Carl?”

“Of course not,” Noah grumbled. “Don’t be an idiot.”

“Well, then take your own advice, moron. Whatever happened to you wasn’t your fault.” Noah made a noise of protest, but Eli was quick to raise a hand to silence him. “I know you don’t want to talk about it and I respect that. I’m hoping someday that will change, but in the meantime, I don’t want hear any more of this bullshit. You’re my brother and I love you. That fact will never change so you’re gonna have to learn to deal with it.”

Noah saw the shine of wetness in Eli’s eyes and began to understand how hard this must be for him. He hadn’t really taken the time to think about the fact that Eli had been trapped with Carl Yager, too. While Carl may not have tortured him physically, like he had Noah, the psychological torture was severe. Eli had told him that Carl had confessed to stalking him for years before he had left their Pack and relocated to Grand Rapids. He couldn’t imagine the horror of finding out that someone had spent years watching your every move, without your knowledge or consent. It was a complete violation.

Noah grabbed the front of Eli’s shirt and pulled him into a fierce embrace. He sensed a cracking in the ice that had filled his chest since the day he had woken in the Pack House, broken and defeated. Maybe he wasn’t as dead inside as he had originally thought. He held his brother tightly, soaking in the warmth that came from contact with another body. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it.

“I’m so sorry, E. I’ve been too busy wallowing in my own bullshit and I haven’t been a very good Alpha or brother. Things have just been so crazy lately.” He allowed the contact to continue for another minute then took a step back, holding his brother at arm’s length. “I’ll try to do better. I promise.”

Eli’s brow furrowed and his mouth turned down in an irritated scowl. “You’re doing fine, Noah. You just have to give yourself a break every once in a while. You’re not responsible for everyone and everything. Sometimes even Alphas have to take the time to just worry about themselves, okay?”

His brother was so disgruntled, Noah had to bite back a laugh. A hint of a smile curled his lips. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, it is. Trust me. I have a lot of experience dealing with pig-headed, stubborn Alpha wolves. I’ve become an expert.”

Noah laughed. “I’ll bet.”

Noah turned away from his brother and made his way back to the window in time to see a group of children chase each other across the massive yard of the Pack House. As he watched them play, a familiar longing for something he knew would never be his. “How do you handle it, E?”

“Handle what?”

Noah turned his attention back to the children, now wrestling in a pile in the center of the yard. “Knowing that you’re never going to have that?”

Eli walked to the window, peeking out for a moment. “Are we talking about kids, Noah? Is that what’s bothering you?”

Noah sighed. “It’s the one reality in my life I’ve never been able to come to terms with. Every day I sit in this room, I see the kids playing and I wonder how I’m going to deal with never having that. How do I accept what is and let go of a dream that is never going to come true?”

Confusion burned in Eli’s eyes. Head tilted to the side, he stared at Noah as if he were some strange, new species that he was trying to figure out.

“Noah, are you telling me that you’re…gay?”

Noah arched an eyebrow as he faced his brother. “Does it matter?”

Eli jerked back like he’d been slapped. “Of course not! You know me better than that.”

“You’re right,” Noah murmured. “I do know you better than that. I’m sorry.”

“So?” Eli pushed. He’d always had the subtlety of a freight train.

“Yes, Eli. I’m gay. Are you happy now?”

“Holy shit!” His eyes widened comically as his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “How the hell didn’t I know this?” Eli shot him a suspicious glare. “Did anyone know?”

Noah shook his head. “No one.”

“I don’t understand. Why did you keep it a secret, especially from me? Think about how much easier things would have been for Jai if you had spoken up back then. A gay Alpha could have changed everything. Why didn’t you say something?” Eli’s scowl was dark and accusing.

“I’d think twice before you start throwing stones, Elijah Matthew Steele. Or did I somehow overlook a set of tits on your mate?”

“My situation is completely different. I’d never been with a man before I met Kellan. If I had met him back then, I wouldn’t have hesitated to tell the whole Pack that he was mine.”

“And if I had met my mate, I would have done the same thing,” Noah defended. “Yes, I knew I preferred men back then and yes, I could have spoken up about it, but if you think it would have changed a damn thing then you’re a fool. It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Oh yes I fucking do! As you and Kellan so kindly put it, I know Charles Steele better than anyone. Our father would never condone a mating between two men. Fuck another man, sure, but mating, hell no. Mating is reserved for male–female couplings, for the purpose of breeding more Shifters. So, sure, I could have said something and been driven from the Pack right alongside Jai, or worse. Would that have made me a better man?”

Eli stared at him for a moment in silence, anger radiating off him in waves. The Alpha wolf inside Noah bristled at the gall of the weaker wolf, not appreciating the directness of Eli’s stare or the lack of fear it held. Despite the fact that he had no legitimate title in the Grand Rapids Pack, when it came down to it, Eli should defer to Noah as the stronger wolf. The fact that he didn’t left Noah feeling edgy and slightly unhinged. He knew he should let it go. This was his brother, his family, and there were certain allowances to be made. It didn’t mean that he was going to back down, but he would allow the younger wolf a bit of leeway. After what seemed like an eternity, Eli’s expression softened and the stiffness of his posture eased.

“You’re right, Noah. It wouldn’t have changed a thing. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. There was no right or wrong, just the lesser of two evils. It’s over. Leave it in the past where it belongs.”

“I can do that.” Eli’s head tilted to the side, his expression curious. “Not to get off topic, but what changed?”

“Excuse me?” Noah’s brow furrowed.

“Why are you willing to admit you’re gay now? Something has to have changed.” Eli visibly swallowed then sucked in a breath, his expression hopeful. “Are you involved with someone, Noah? Have you met someone you’re interested in?”

Looking away, Noah shrugged. “I’m not involved with anyone, but there is someone. He’s different…special.”

“How the hell did you manage to meet someone while hiding out up here, playing recluse all day?”

“He was there the day you saved me from Carl. I only saw him for a few seconds before I passed out. When I woke up in the Pack House, I was sure I’d imagined the whole thing. Two weeks later, I was up at night grabbing some food from the kitchen while everyone else was in bed. I had just made it to the top of the stairs and was about to head down the hall when I heard one of the teams arrive. I waited, hoping that maybe you were with them. His scent hit me the minute they opened the front door. It was all I could do to make it back to my room without turning around and claiming him in front of God and the world. I’ve only seen him a handful of times since then and always from a distance.”

“Does he have feelings for you, too?”

Noah laughed mirthlessly. “I’ve worked hard to make sure he doesn’t notice me at all. He’s away a lot, does a lot of missions for the Pack, and when he’s around I make sure to keep clear of him. It’s not hard to do. I spend most of my time here in this room anyway.”

“Why would you do that if you care for him?” Eli’s disbelief was clear.

A wistful smile twisted his lips. “It’s better this way. I don’t have anything to offer a mate.”

Eli made a noise of protest and his eyes widened in shock. “He’s your mate?”

Noah shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.” Turning his attention back to the window, he smiled when he saw that all the children had shifted and were now chasing each other around the yard in their wolf forms. They pounced and ran, nipping playfully at each other’s heels. “My one regret is that I will never be a father. It was always my greatest wish. Even more than being Alpha. Despite everything—I think I would have been a good dad. I would have liked the chance to try.” Sorrow crept into his words as he acknowledged his loss.

“There’s no reason you can’t still have children and be an amazing father. There’s always adoption and there are female surrogates you could use. I know the chances of it working aren’t great, but there’s still a chance. Maybe if you talk to your mate—”

“No,” Noah replied, suddenly exhausted. “There’s nothing to talk about. He seems happy in his life. I don’t want to be responsible for saddling him with a damaged mate. For Christ’s sake, Eli, I don’t know the first thing about being someone’s mate.”

Eli scowled. “It’s all instinct, Noah. Look at Kellan and me. I’d never even been with a man before I met Kellan. It took some patience and compromise on both our parts but now, things couldn’t be better. Even if you don’t tell him, he’s going to figure it out eventually. It would be better if the news came from you.”

Noah scoffed. “As long as I stay alert, he’ll never know. If he hasn’t figured it out in the last few months, he never will. Besides, I’m an Alpha who couldn’t even protect himself. What business do I have trying to care for a mate? Trust me, it’s better he never finds out.”

“Better for who, Noah?”

Noah didn’t have an answer for him. He knew that anything said in his defense would sound like a lie. A change in topic was the better bet. “Has there been any news from Reid or Micah?”

Eli’s expression instantly became serious. “No, and I’m worried. They were due to check in yesterday morning. At first, I thought they were just late. Now, I’m not so sure. If Dad caught on to what they were doing…”

“Don’t even think about it”—Noah scowled—“and don’t call that monster ‘dad’. He lost that right long ago. If that son of a bitch did something to Reid or Micah, I’m going to kill him.”

“Isn’t that kinda the goal, anyway?”

“Don’t joke, E. If he found out that Reid and Micah were spying for us, who knows what the fuck he’ll do to them.”

Eli gave Noah a worried glance. “You really think he would hurt them? They’re his sons.”

“So were we,” Noah answered quietly, turning away. “You should get back. Kellan will be worried. Let me know if there’s any news?”

Eli nodded sadly and made his way to the door. He walked out of the room without a word and closed the door quietly behind him, leaving Noah alone to hope that his brothers weren’t in as much trouble as he feared they were.

The volume in Kellan’s office was out of control. Shifters were always a rowdy bunch, but filling a room with the most dominant and aggressive members of the Pack was the perfect recipe for either a killer migraine or a raging brawl. Between the shouting, roughhousing and full-out fighting, Dax wasn’t sure if he should join in or get the hell out of there. He liked a good time as much as the next guy, but even he knew the gathered crowd was going to get out of control if they weren’t brought to heel soon. He was seriously considering performing some crowd control when a shrill whistle filled the room, drawing everyone’s attention to the front where Kellan and Eli, the Alpha and Alpha mate, stood waiting expectantly.

“Everybody quiet and take a seat!” Kellan’s deep voice resonated through the room, demanding attention from everyone present. “I’d like to get this handled quickly. The sooner we wrap this up, the sooner everyone can get back to their night.” His words were met with a rumble of approval and some good-natured grumbling as people shuffled around the room, righting tables and chairs that had been knocked over in the scuffling and quickly taking their seats.

Kellan cleared his throat and the room when silent, attention quickly focused on the Alpha. “As you all know, over the last few months we’ve been sending out scouts trying to get more intel on what Charles Steele and his cronies are up to. Regrettably, information has been pretty scarce. Steele has been guarding his secrets well, only revealing important details to those closest to him and his operation.

“Lucky for us, Steele is not as infallible as he’d like everyone to believe. It seems that he recently made an enemy of one of his Betas when he tried to force the man’s daughter into one of his ‘arranged marriages’. Apparently, while the Beta was okay with others being forced into these arrangements against their will, it was not acceptable for his own little princess. When Steele tried to force the issue, the man and his family absconded from the Pack and went into hiding.

“Malachi and Ryker were the closest team in the area and got wind of what happened. They were able to track him down and managed to convince him to give us details about Steele’s operation in exchange for helping his family get out of the country. He was able to give us some insight into Alpha Steele’s current plans and also provided us with a general location of one of Steele’s breeding facilities just outside Petoskey. I’m organizing a team to head up tomorrow and scout the area. Their mission will be searching for weakness in the facility and, if possible, to infiltrate the building and release any captives being held there.”

He looked out over the crowd with a measuring stare that always filled Dax with a sense of pride. Kellan’s love and devotion for his Pack were unmistakable. His cousin had shaped up to be an amazing Alpha. Dax listened as Kellan gave further details about the mission, as well as a general description of the area where the team would be heading, before finally bringing things to a close.

“Check in with your team leaders before you leave and they’ll let you know if you will be heading out tomorrow. The team will take off at first light,” he announced, his tone brooking no argument. “Depending on what they are able to glean, we may be sending up a secondary team, so everyone should stay on alert. Now,” he barked, clapping his hands in emphasis, “with that being said, this meeting is adjourned. For those leaving in the morning, get some rest. We have no idea what you might be facing out there and I want everyone operating at one hundred percent. I expect each and every one of you to return in one piece. Good luck.”

Without another word, he grabbed Eli’s hand and led him from the room, ignoring the cheers and shouts that echoed behind them. With the meeting over, Dax got to his feet and started the slow trek to the door. After spending the last twenty-four hours on patrol, all he wanted was a flat surface to pass out on, the sooner the better.

Working his way through crowd, he was just about to step through the doorway when a large, muscled body slammed into him from the side. The collision forced him back a few steps and he tipped precariously on his heels. His arms pinwheeled in a last ditch effort to regain his balance, but to no avail.

“Shit!”

Dax realized he was headed for a hard fall when the man’s big hand shot out, wrapping around his wrist and stopping his backward momentum. Dax let out the breath he’d been holding. With words of gratitude on the tip of his tongue, Dax peered up into the eyes of his guardian angel and was immediately struck mute.

Perfection. That was Dax’s first thought as he took in the six-and-a-half-foot, hard-bodied god in front of him. The man was Dax’s ultimate fantasy, with a few extras thrown in for good measure. His dark hair was cropped in tight, like a shadow across his skull. The blue-gray eyes looking back at him were somber, but Dax could tell from the small laugh lines at their corners that they had once been filled with warmth and good humor. High cheekbones, a square jaw and an aquiline nose completed the picture, all working together to create the most stunning example of rugged masculinity Dax had ever seen.

His dick chose that moment to take notice, rising quickly to half-mast as if it wasn’t bad enough that everyone in the room had to be able to pick up on the scent of his lust. He wished his shirt was just a bit longer to hide some of the evidence of his burgeoning arousal and save him the embarrassment of popping wood in the middle of a crowded room. The sound of a throat clearing drew his attention away from his rampant cock and back to the slightly irritated man before him.

“Sorry,” he mumbled distractedly.

Focusing on the man, Dax felt something prickle at the back of his mind. The man was definitely familiar, but it was hard for Dax to place him. Drawing in a deep breath, he picked up a familiar scent that took his dick from semi-hard to able-to-pound-nails in seconds. The aroma of vanilla, citrus and mocha, with just the hint of wood smoke, nearly drove him to his knees as he was overwhelmed with need.

“Noah.”

Just the thought of the man had Dax fighting back a tremor of excitement. Feelings of lust and longing that he had been harboring for months surfaced in a rush, reminding him how much he had missed the big Alpha. Since the discovery of Alpha Steele’s plans to breed an army designed to take over the Packs, Dax had been assigned a lot of recon missions, as they were the best use of his talents. With his tall, muscular build, tattoos and badass attitude, Dax’s appearance screamed ‘trouble’. He had a knack for getting information by any means necessary and was very good at his job. That being the case, he’d barely seen the object of his infatuation since that fateful night when Carl Yager had returned Noah’s bloodstained, mutilated body to his brother, Eli Steele.

Dax had been at his side, holding his hand as the medical team hurried to stabilize him enough that he could be moved. He had only seen Noah for a few minutes, but even then, with his features barely recognizable under layers of gore and ravaged flesh, beneath the scent of blood, sweat and tears, there had been something about the man that had called to him like no one else ever had. Looking at him now, it appeared that time and care had healed the ruin he had been and restored him, at least physically, to the gorgeous, powerful Alpha he was meant to be.

“It’s good to see you, Noah. You look well.”

Noah’s eyes flared wide in surprise as he gazed down at Dax. “Thank you,” he answered gruffly, releasing his hold and taking a step back. “I appreciate your concern. If you’ll excuse me?”

When Noah made a move to go around him, Dax couldn’t help but notice the shadows that still lingered under his eyes and the pain that burned in the stormy orbs.

By all accounts, Noah Steele was fine. He’d overheard the Pack doctor telling Eli that Noah was healthy, whole and on the mend. Dax had read over the reports and wasn’t convinced. He just couldn’t reconcile the quiet, cautious man he saw today with the fun-loving, vivacious man Eli was constantly regaling him with stories about. It was as if part of him had been left behind in that van with Carl, and he was now operating as a shell of his former self. The prospect of Noah continuing on that way for the rest of his life upset Dax more than was wise for someone who was a virtual stranger to the man.

Despite his best efforts, Noah was never far from his mind. Dax knew his one-sided attraction to the Alpha was a bad idea. Noah was still recovering from his near-death experience at the hands of Carl Yager. The last thing he needed was to have to fend off unwanted advances from some goofball Beta with a bad case of puppy love. The best thing for Dax to do would be to stay as far away from Noah as possible. He didn’t know how much more embarrassment he could take. Still, calling himself ten times a fool, Dax reached out and halted the bigger man with a gentle hold on his arm.

“Wait.”

Noah knew who he’d crashed into without even having to make eye contact. The moment he had picked up the Beta’s delicious scent, his blood had heated and quickly headed south. His cock filled so rapidly, it actually left him feeling a bit lightheaded. It was just one of the reasons he’d been so desperate to leave the room.

While he had successfully managed to avoid coming into direct contact with Dax during the months he had been staying at the Pack House, Noah had always known it was just a temporary evasion. Already, the familiar longing that came with the knowledge that his other half was near beat down on him, demanding that he take what was his. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to fight the instinct to claim his mate.

Sighing deeply, he met Dax’s dark green gaze with a directness only an Alpha was capable of, desperately hoping the Beta wouldn’t be able to read the longing in his eyes. He didn’t want to embarrass himself any more than he already had.

“Can I help you?” His voice came through cool and authoritative, a fact he was extremely thankful for since he was on the verge of losing it. All he wanted to do was strip the man naked, throw him to the floor and mount him. It didn’t matter that they were in a room full of people. His wolf’s thoughts bombarded him, filled with approval and excitement. It had no problem with people witnessing their mate’s claiming. Witnesses meant there would be no further question as to who the man belonged to.

Dax cleared his throat, his feet nervously shuffling side to side. “I’m not sure if you remember me. I’m Dax Marshall, Kellan’s cousin. I was there the night Carl—well—the night we got you back. I’ve been meaning to come by and see you. I just wanted to check in and see how things were going. I wanted to stop by sooner, but I’ve been out of town a lot lately.” Dax’s gaze dropped to his feet as an enticing blush stained his cheeks.

Noah had to fight the strong desire to brush his fingers along that faint line of pink. He knew if he allowed even that small touch, he’d lose his resolve and take his mate where he stood. From the bits and pieces of information he’d managed to glean about the man over the last few months, Noah was confident that Dax was good-hearted and kind. He deserved the best mate the gods could give him, which was why Noah knew he couldn’t allow himself to touch the stunning Beta. He wasn’t worthy.

Noah straightened his shoulders. He tried for his best impression of cold indifference and prayed it was believable. “Thanks for the concern, but, as you can see, I am fine. Please save your worry for someone who needs it.”

Turning his back on Dax’s open-mouthed shock, Noah scanned the room for an alternate exit but came up empty. He resigned himself to the fact that the only way out was behind his mate. When he tried to push his way past, Dax grabbed his wrist, halting his progress.

Noah quirked his eyebrow and gave him an imperious glare. “Excuse me?”

Dax looked down at his hand, realized it was still wrapped tightly around Noah’s wrist then immediately let go, like the appendage was on fire. He drew in a sharp breath, remorse forefront on his face.

“Jesus, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had…” His voice trailed off as he stared at Noah, like he was seeing him for the first time and Noah was the most amazing thing in the entire world.

“Do you smell—?” Dax muttered, his voice filled with a warring mix of wonder and confusion.

“I don’t smell anything,” Noah replied, panicked. With the scent of his own arousal perfuming the air, it was just a matter of time before Dax picked up on it. He needed to get away—fast. “If you don’t mind, I need to get past you. I have things to do.”

A large hand shot out and grabbed the front of his shirt as he made to go around the big Beta. “Will you just wait a minute? You know, you’re kind of being an ass right now.”

Dax flashed Noah a devastating smile that should have been illegal and did ridiculous things to his libido. It took every ounce of control Noah had not to respond to it.

“From what my brothers tell me, being an ass is one of my major talents. Now that you’ve confirmed the rumor, I really do need to get going.”

Noah tried to pull away, but Dax held firm. He wasn’t going anywhere unless he jerked away hard enough to rip the shirt from his body. While it might get him his freedom, it would be pretty suspicious and was sure to garner him way more attention than he wanted.

Dax took another step toward him, bringing their bodies flush. There was no way Dax could miss the state of his arousal. The answering bulge that prodded his thigh just served to make his own cock that much harder. He held his breath when Dax leaned in, burying his face in the curve of Noah’s neck, drawing in a breath then releasing it on a sigh. At that moment, Noah knew all his work to distance himself from Dax had been wasted. The mate was out of the bag. He expected questions, but they never came. Dax leaned more fully into Noah, nosing his way behind his ear where he drew in deep lungfuls of Noah’s scent.

“You smell so good,” Dax practically purred.

They stood frozen there for what could have been hours. Noah knew he should pull away, but with the man he’d longed for finally in his arms, he couldn’t fight the instinctive need to keep him close. He allowed Dax to settle against him, his weight a comforting presence after so much time spent in his self-imposed seclusion.

When Dax finally lifted his head, his eyes were wide, brimming with a combination of need, confusion and such overwhelming happiness that it nearly stole Noah’s breath. To be on the receiving end of a look like that was both humbling and terrifying. Dax scanned Noah’s face, his focus alternating between Noah’s eyes and mouth, before lowering his head back into the curve of Noah’s shoulder.

There was hot, moist breath on Noah’s neck then the press of soft lips skimming up the side of his throat. A guttural moan tore free of Noah’s chest as Dax’s wet tongue traced up the cord of his neck before nipping a path back down. What was left of his control snapped, leaving him powerless to fight his building lust. Grabbing Dax’s hips in a punishing grip, Noah ground his swollen cock against Dax’s equally hard shaft. They settled into a grueling pace, Noah could feel himself getting closer to release with every thrust of his hips.

Pulling away from Noah’s throat, Dax tilted his head and brought his mouth down on Noah’s in a brutal meeting of teeth and tongues. There was no gentleness in the kiss, and that was just fine with Noah. For months, he had imagined what it would be like to kiss this man. Now he knew and it was more than he’d ever imagined. It was mind blowing. It was amazing how something so simple could shake his world so completely. The kiss was bruising and rough but also full of care and passion. Noah had never experienced anything like it and was loving every second.

It took them a moment to get in sync, both of them struggling for control, but they soon found a rhythm that allowed them to share the dominant role seamlessly. Give and take took on a new meaning when describing their intimacy. Noah lost himself in the pleasure of their coupling, too far gone for the outside world to even register. The need for oxygen finally became too great. He jerked away, heaving and gasping for breath as he tried to drag air back into his depleted lungs.

Noah was at a loss for what to say. He couldn’t believe he had allowed himself to lose control so completely. His plan to give Dax the freedom to find a more deserving life partner was becoming less and less likely by the minute. It would have been difficult to let the man go before. Now that he knew what his hard body felt like, pressed tight against his own, Noah wasn’t sure it was even still possible to walk away.

Daring a glance in his mate’s direction, Noah took in his wide eyes and lust-blown pupils. A smug sense of satisfaction filled him as he realized that he’d been the one to cause such a reaction in the powerful Beta. A smile quirked the side of Noah’s mouth as he licked his kiss-swollen lips, savoring the sweet flavor of his mate on his tongue. Dax, on the other hand, looked shell-shocked.

Quirking a brow, Noah met his mate’s eyes. “Dax?”

Dax swallowed, eyes wide with confusion. His quietly murmured answer barely reached Noah’s ears.

“Mate?”