PREGNANT AFTER ONE-NIGHT STAND

"I'm pregnant," I said without hesitation. I gently swirled the contents of the glass I was examining. Ripples formed inside it, but nothing spilled out. The background noise I was facing was as turbulent as the liquid I was observing. Murky. Or rather, noisy.

I usually came to this club just to unwind, but this time, even unwinding felt pointless. For me, it was just a routine visit, hanging out with my two incredibly talkative friends, whom I only agreed to come along with.

"Dang! Don't play around, Anya," one of them exclaimed.

"Shut up! If you want to joke, don't be that foolish!" Obviously, it wasn't my shout, but Doni's, who turned into Dona whenever he was with me. My male friend, who we often called Dona, never got offended by the nickname. He even joked that maybe in his previous life, he was indeed a Dona, minus the sideburns that occasionally grew around his jawline.

"I'm not joking," I replied wearily. My gaze now focused on them, observing how their faces displayed shock and fear. They were both terrified; how about me? As I found out from the pregnancy test result and the series of examinations this afternoon, I no longer knew the color of my face.

Perhaps pale like a corpse.

I, Anya Joice, want to carry a child. In a legitimate bond according to law and religion, that's an absolute requirement. Not like this. Damn it!

"Do you know who the father is?" Dona asked, immediately grabbing my hand. Maybe he needed something to hold onto, unlike me, who felt like I was floating away.

"I do know," I replied weakly. As I was reminded of the person who continued to knock on the doors of my mind, I suddenly felt shivers down my spine.

Around me, it was seriously so noisy. The DJ's music that always livened up our nights disappeared from my life. My body was here, but my mind seemed to have wandered off. Most importantly, I was thinking about another life within me.

"Anya," Naomi, my female friend, held both of my hands. "You can tell us. What's going on with you?"

"Yeah, Anya. You usually talk a lot when something happens," Doni Andrean, his full name, but both Naomi and I mostly called him Dona, added sympathetically. He embraced me, trying to contain part of me in his arms.

Could I hold back my tears? No.

So, I let these tears flow in front of them. I shared my doubts, worries, and other negative thoughts with the two people closest to me. In Washington DC, they were all I had. In this transient world, I was all alone. My parents had long passed away. Their bodies weren't buried in the ground; in my heart, their existence was no longer there. So, I guess I consider them dead.

"Who?" Naomi asked softly.

I was confused myself, wondering why I could be so foolish. I'm not a saintly woman, I apologize. But I'm not the kind of woman who opens her legs for just any man. No, I'm still sane, except maybe two or three months ago, right? I'm a bit forgetful, but I remember vividly, even under the influence of vodka, who was on top of me.

Ah, my goodness! I'm so stupid.

"Cedric," I whispered softly.

"Son of a bitch!" Dona cursed. "Why did you mess around with the office boy?!"

I closed my eyes. If I had known, I wouldn’t have done it!

"Anya..." I shuddered when Naomi spoke so softly and sharply. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist her. "Don't jump to conclusions. Cedric is a good guy, Anya. You know that."

"I feel so stupid, Naomi?" I felt cornered now. "You talk like I'm the one who seduced Cedric."

I heard Naomi sigh. "That's not what I meant. You know what I'm trying to say, Ya. If you had said you were pregnant with Dewangga's child, I'd believe you. Or even Kelvin's."

I laughed. "Yeah, right. They've been aggressively pursuing me."

"There you go!"

"Yeah, true." Now, Dona joined in. "And why did you say you were pregnant with Cedric's child? You've rejected Dewangga or Kelvin, who are clearly shining like gems."

I just rolled my eyes in annoyance. I knew the two men they were talking about. One is the IT manager at my workplace, Kelvin Sturborn. The other is the store manager of a café across the street, where we occasionally hang out to unwind after lunch, Dewangga Obrey.

As Naomi said, both have been competing for my attention. I'm not trying to act like I'm something special or anything. For me, they both treat me like a dessert. I need more than just sweetness to be enticed. I'm not blind to that. That's why I've been trying to avoid them as much as possible. It's challenging, but at least, I still had my dignity.

And now, my dignity has completely disappeared.

In the silence we shared, my mind was so loud, trying to figure out how I would get through the next day.

"Does Cedric know?" Naomi asked. This question struck me multiple times. Since the first and last time we met and did it, we haven't seen each other again. Except at the office, of course.

"I'm sure he doesn't know yet, Naomi," Dona said to Naomi. "When did you check for pregnancy?"

"This afternoon." My shoulders slumped. The tissue I used to wipe my tears now covered the table, soaked with my tears. This time, we sighed together.

"You have to talk to him. Cedric must take responsibility," Naomi emphasized the word 'responsibility' in her words just now. "But before that, you have to tell us. Why did you let yourself go with Cedric, but rejected Dewangga or Kelvin, who are obviously dazzling?"

"It's all vodka's fault."

The next definition of being a jerk is when you're hit by a disaster and your two friends laugh at you with great satisfaction.

Just like what I'm experiencing now.

***

I looked at the ultrasound result sheet that I had done earlier this afternoon. Then, I gently rubbed my still-flat belly. I felt like an incredibly wicked person considering getting rid of the life inside me. But it's not because of money. My salary and position are more than enough to meet its needs. I'm sure of that.

What I meant by "capability" is about many things. Especially raising and educating a child. Okay, I know I made a mistake. Naomi was right; I can't just open my legs for anyone. Not to mention the consequences I would face. My job, my life, my habits, and I have to start learning to accept the presence of a little creature called a baby around me in the future. All of that is at stake. I already have to count down how much time I have until my flat belly becomes bigger.

I've already set aside any thoughts about love. What's love got to do with it when Cedric and I only meet occasionally at the office in this case? We just greet each other when Cedric brings me a cup of sweet tea and a full bottle of water. I sigh in frustration afterward. Why did it have to end up with Cedric?!

God, why is my punishment like this?

I can still vividly remember how it came to this. Naomi was right when she said that vodka and I are a crazy combination that should be avoided unless we're having a party together with them, or at least, Dona accompanies me. At that time, I did ask Dona to accompany me, but he had a date. I didn't want to bother him. I'm self-aware enough.

As for Naomi, she was in Bangladesh for work.

Besides vodka, I also feel like blaming my direct superior, Krystal Blaxton. The woman, who is nearing forty, loves to torture me with ever-changing agendas. I'm her secretary, and she's the big boss at my office. It's a company that provides shipping services with a network as vast as the ocean.

The place where I work is considered quite elite. Almost all e-commerce and small to large-scale businesses use our services. All because of Krystal, who dares to act. To me, Krystal is a role model for a successful independent woman in her career. Minus her tendency to torment her subordinates. Especially me. She said, "You're so smart, Anya. Think about that. Don't tell everything to everyone, be creative, Anya."

Not to mention, "Anya, you know, your face makes me angry. Don't show me your face like a duck. Smile, Anya. Smile."

But I had to carry out a pile, oh, not just a pile, two boxes of work from last year that I had to go through one by one just because there was an agenda she missed. Even though I had already told her a simple way to handle it. Krystal is always right, but I can't refuse to do what she asks.

The peak of it all was when our company was periodically audited externally. And Krystal is a woman with an extremely high level of perfectionism. I'm the one who experienced the effects of it first. Until my stress level facing Krystal was transferred to vodka.

It's understandable, right? I blamed Krystal.

I laughed, more towards being pathetic. Cursing myself for this impulsive act that has caused me so much harm.

My phone rang, and when I looked at the clock on the wall of my apartment unit, it was already 2 am. I furrowed my brows. Who could it be at this hour?

Krystal: Don't be late tomorrow. Anya has a meeting at SunCity Tower.

A hardworking person at God-level!

"Ma'am, where's your key?"

I hiccupped. My eyes wandered around for a moment to make sure this was the corridor I recognized. As far as I can remember, I was near the table next to the bartender. I don't know how many drinks I've had that made me feel so dizzy. "The key, right?" I reached into the bag I was carrying. "Where is it? I forgot." I grinned.

Even half-conscious, I heard him sigh. "Ma'am, if you're not feeling well, just sit here for a moment. I'll look for the key."

Then what I remembered was him slowly emptying my bag's contents. I saw him searching here and there. In my wallet, makeup bag, or the Stitch-patterned coin purse. Those cute little blue aliens.

"Found it, Ma'am." He showed me a single key with a small keychain. The access card to my apartment unit, I saw that he hung it together with my unit key. "Next time, just like this. So you won't have trouble."

I laughed again. Trying to stand up, I ended up falling into the embrace of the person who was my conversation partner. He grumbled irritably. Maybe he was tired, carrying me who was stumbling. I think so. That's why I feel so light when I walk.

He opened the door. And he carried me again. All the contents of my bag returned to their place, even though I'm sure they were all messed up. I didn't care. My thought at that time was that I felt light. No Krystal's angry voice because I made a mistake in the schedule. The one who almost missed a meeting worth a billion in revenue. Even though it was her fault, I was only doing what she wanted. Why was I the one who got the coaching? It's pointless if I can't accept it.

Queen Krystal and all her authority! That's what made me drive my car to the usual club. Even though I'm alone, at least I know some people there. Including Adi, the bartender.

As I passed the toilet, suddenly, I really wanted to empty whatever was in my stomach. Half-running and causing a commotion by bumping into a display near the wardrobe, at least I wasn't late. I vomited some, I don't know, of what was in my stomach into the toilet. Damn vodka!

I felt slightly cold fingers on the back of my neck. At first, I was about to snap, but the fingers stayed. Massaging gently and offering a box of tissues.

"Thanks," I said as I slowly got up. He still helped me walk towards the sofa. When he successfully sat me down there, he fetched a drink for me.

Even though I was still half-conscious, I knew who this guy was. Cedric. He works as an office boy at my office. But I wondered, was this the effect of alcohol, or did he really look different from usual? Maybe it was because I was used to seeing him in the typical OB uniform, but now, sitting in front of me is a guy looking relaxed in a black shirt rolled up to his elbows paired with black pants.

I felt like Cedric was different tonight.

Next thing I knew, I was in his lap. But seeing the surprised look in his eyes, I was sure it was not Cedric who was holding me close to him. It was me who was getting close to him.

"Cedric," I gazed straight into his eyes. My fingers traced his jawline slowly. He grumbled irritably and stopped my actions.

"Ma'am, it's better for you to sleep. I wants to go home."

"Why the hurry?" I asked with a small smile. Then, I get close to him again, very gently. "Be honest with me, Cedric."

"After I'm honest, I get fired."

"I'm not going to imprison you." I laughed amidst my giggles.

"Who's prettier, me or Ms. Krystal?" I playfully wag my finger in front of his nose. My vision is a bit blurry, but I can see him closing his eyes. Maybe he's frustrated with my behavior. I don't care, really. I need him to answer.

Actually, this is not really important, but I've heard a lot of gossip that Ms. Krystal is jealous of me because of my beauty and charm. That's why she often gives me more work than I should have. Torturing me under her control. So, I need another opinion. Maybe Cedric's opinion.

"You are the prettiest," he says.

Do I believe him?

No.

Instead, I laugh. "Cedric, Cedric, that's a pretty good lie. I'm not angry, you know, if you're honest."

"I'm not lying." He lowers my finger. "Now, I want to go home. You've arrived at your apartment. Go to sleep."

When he starts to move away, I hold him back. I don't want him to leave. Just who does he think he is?

"Ma'am," he grumbles. He locks my hands behind him. His face turns red. Maybe he's annoyed because I'm in his lap and now I'm moving on top of him.

"Let go," I say teasingly. I'm a bit confused myself about why I'm acting like this. But it feels nice. Teasing Cedric, who's now angry. I move slightly restlessly because Cedric's grip is quite strong.

"You said I'm pretty?"

He lets go of my hands. Maybe it's because of my restless movements on top of him.

"Yes, you're the prettiest, Anya."

Do I trust that?

No.

I just laugh. "Cedric, Cedric, if you want to lie, do it better. I won't be mad, you know, if you're honest."

"I'm not lying." He gets up, and I hold him back again. I won't accept it. Seriously, I won't accept it. It feels like I'm being rejected outright!

"Fine. Go ahead and leave then." I get up. But I grab the bag I had left near the shoe rack. I also grab my shoes without much thought and put them on just as carelessly.

"Move aside. I want to have some fun again."

Even my walking is stumbling. But I don't care.

"What kind of fun, ma'am?" He pulls me back before I reach the door. "You're drunk. It's better for you to sleep."

"Who told you to boss me around?" I look up because he's very close to me. His black eyes now staring at me. His gaze is sharp, intimidating, but I can't be afraid. Why should I be afraid? Who is he, anyway? He's nobody, right?

In one swift motion, he brings me closer. Our breaths collide. A mix of nicotine, mint, and a hint of cola. Maybe. And then, what I think are his lips touch mine.

"Is this enough?" I blink as he breaks the kiss.

"If I continue, I'm sure you'll regret it."

"Really?" I laugh.

"I won't stop even if you ask me to."

I tilt my head. Still laughing at his words. "What are you going to do, huh?" I use my index finger to trace his jawline again. Making him grumble harder than before.

"Never regret it, Anya. Never."