Reunion

Ryder:

This is a familiar scene. We’ve been here so many times before I couldn’t even guess the number. It was Jace who found this little ledge behind the waterfall, but it was Jamie who discovered the waterfall dries up enough each fall to offer easy access to the ledge until spring. He and Annie made that discovery one night when they wanted to be alone.

Too bad it’s not spring, so we all have to get wet passing through. That feels nice though, since it’s summer and hotter than a pair of tits on a Dallas Cowboys’ cheerleader.

Or Lisbeth.

Dammit, I shouldn’t be thinking that way about her. Lisbeth’s a friend. One of my best friends. She gave me my first kiss, but I gave it back just as enthusiastically. It was supposed to be about practicing and getting that awkwardness out of the way with a friend.

Friend. Yeah. Lisbeth’s a lot of things to me, but nothing so simple as friend. Sometimes, I believe I love her, but I can’t think like that. We’re all leaving in the next few days. Jace’s off to the Air Force, while Jamie’s got his heart set on being a jarhead even though it means leaving Annie behind for a while. I still can’t believe he’s doing it, since they’ve been inseparable from the day they met in kindergarten.

Lisbeth prevaricated between the Navy and the Coast Guard before picking the Coast Guard. I think she really wants to be a SEAL, but she knows that’s unlikely. Her grandma and momma probably put some pressure on her to choose the so-called safer path too, knowing them. They love her something fierce.

Me, I’m going to be wearing Army green for the foreseeable future. The structure of Army life appeals to me, maybe because structure’s not a thing in my house. My folks aren’t the reliable type, and they don’t care much for rules. It sounds good to a kid to grow up like that, but here I am at eighteen and have known for a few years they should’ve done better by me.

A pang of envy shoots through me. What I wouldn’t give for a family like Lisbeth’s. The Bentleys are close and tightknit. Everyone likes and respects them, and it’s not that fake bullshit rich, pretentious people usually show. The Bentleys have more money than Midas with their thoroughbreds, but they’re downhome, kind people. They helped make me the man I am today, since Lisbeth’s my best friend.

Friend. That word again. It feels wrong in my mind, and if I speak it aloud, I know it’ll taste wrong on my tongue, but I don’t have a better word to describe her.

Beautiful.

Sexy.

Sweet.

Okay, a few more words come to mind, but none of them are safe words to describe a girl who’s going to be mostly a memory from here on out. I sure as shit ain’t coming back to this place much once I shake off the dust of Sage Valley.

“You okay?” asks Lisbeth as she hands me another beer.

I take it without any real desire to drink it. The three beers before it have left my gut a mess, and my head is feeling clouded. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

“About what?” She cracks the tab on another beer for herself, which isn’t like Lisbeth. I wonder if she’s feeling the pain of our forthcoming separation as much as I am? All four of us seem kind of down tonight. Jamie seems maybe sadder than the rest of us since Annie’s already left for college.

“You know. Stuff.”

“Eloquent, Holland,” she says with a smirk.

I shrug. Words aren’t my forte, unlike Lisbeth. She could talk for hours, and I’d hang on every syllable that passes through her plump lips. I blink to clear my thoughts. “The future. How things are gonna change after tonight. You know.”

“Stuff,” she says with a wistful sigh before looking at Jamie and Jace, who are quieter than usual too. “Are you guys packed and ready to ship out?”

“Yeah. I’ve got everything,” says Jamie. “My mom’s still trying to talk me out of it. I guess she doesn’t get that I signed the agreement. The Marines own my sorry ass for the next four years.”

“They’re likely to hand it back to you.” Jace tosses a beer toward Jamie with the smartass remark.

“It’s a nice butt. They might want to keep it.” Lisbeth wags her eyebrows as she says those words.

They set my teeth on edge, and a scorching sensation travels up my esophagus. I bunch my hands into fists, one hand squeezing the beer can hard enough that I can feel it starting to cave in. I’m angry for no good reason. At least no reason I want to explore. “I’m all packed too,” I say, trying to distract myself from what I refuse to label as jealousy while contributing to the conversation.

“I know that. I did ninety percent of it for you.” She nudges my arm with her elbow as she says that.

I can’t argue. She helped me organize and ended up gathering about ninety percent of the stuff and tossing it in my duffel bag while I watched her move around like the firecracker dynamo she is.

We drink a bit longer while staring into the fire Lisbeth started, being the first one to arrive. There’s not much to say after years of being friends, but there seems to be so much unspoken between us tonight—especially Lisbeth and me.

“I should get going.” Jace crushes his beer cans as he stands up and tosses them in the collapsible trashcan Jamie brought, since it’s his turn to handle the rubbish. “I don’t know if I’ll see y’all again before I leave. If not, I’m gonna miss you.” He sounds a little choked up, even though he maintains his neutral expression. The Wilson men aren’t much for showing emotions.

Not like my father, a former hippie, without much former about it. He’s not a bad guy, but he and I don’t relate all that well. He cries at the drop of a hat, while I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve cried in my life.

I open the beer to have something to do with my hands and as a salute to Jace. “We’ll be seeing you, man.”

He starts to go, but Lisbeth holds up a hand. “Wait.”

Jace turns around. “Are you going to kiss me goodbye?” He winks at her.

I ignore the surge of not-calling-it-jealousy, knowing Jace’s a horrible flirt, even with Lisbeth, and she’s like a sister to him. “Nah, but I might.” I snicker.

Jace chuckles and shakes his head at me.

“Let’s promise we’ll all meet up again in ten years. Right here.” Lisbeth’s eyes shine with enthusiasm, and I can’t look away from the warm brown orbs.

Jamie shakes his head. “We can’t promise that. Who knows where we’ll all be in ten years?”

She pouts for a second before sighing. “Okay, but promise me we’ll try to get together then.”

“I promise,” says Jace before heading down the trail with the fleet footedness of a mountain goat. Good thing, since he doesn’t have a flashlight.

“Yeah, me too. You know Annie and me plan to return when she’s done with college, and I’m done with service.” Jamie stands up and retrieves the bag. “You about done with those?” He shakes the plastic trashcan. “I need to get going too.”

I pour my untouched beer into the dirt as Lisbeth drains the last bit of hers before crushing it and tossing it into Jamie’s bag. I do the same a second later.

He stands awkwardly for a minute, shifting on his feet, and then nods at us in turn. “I’ll be seeing you.”

“In ten years, if not before,” reminds Lisbeth as he walks away.

Then it’s just the two of us. Silence falls, but it’s not awkward. It’s comfortable, full of memories and contentment that comes from knowing someone since kindergarten.

She sits down, this time moving to take a spot on the rotting log beside me. I put my arm around her. It’s a familiar, friendly gesture, but it feels like more tonight.

As one, we look up at the stars, and she sighs again. “I’m going to miss this.”

“Me too.” My voice sounds gruff.

That causes her to turn to look at me. I can feel her gaze on me for a long moment before I look away from the stars and at her. Her lips are near mine, and I can’t resist the urge to move forward to kiss her.

She meets me halfway. She’s no timid flower, my Lisbeth. We haven’t kissed since our first one at age twelve, and things have changed. I barely knew what I was doing back then, and I didn’t have time to focus on how she made me feel. I was too nervous about messing up her first kiss.

Now, I know I’m a good kisser, but I’m too focused on how I’m feeling to worry about my technique anyway. Fire explodes between us, with hot sparks of need shooting out from where our lips touch.

Fuck.

I want to taste her, so I slip my tongue through the seam of her lips, which she opens quickly. There’s no hesitation for either of us. This kiss inflames my senses and makes me want to drag her onto my lap. I’d like to fist a handful of her brown curls and tug her head back to run my lips down the column of her throat.

I’d like to keep going, to taste every inch of her. I crave that like nothing I’ve ever wanted before. Her tongue swipes almost shyly against mine, but then she increases her intensity. Lisbeth takes control of the kiss for a moment, burrowing closer and grasping a handful of my hair to hold my head against her, almost like she shares my thoughts.

I moan and pull her closer, wrapping an arm around her back while the other one goes to her hair. The curls are loose and silky, wrapping playfully around my fingers and clinging to me like she never wants to let go. I like that idea.

Too much.

It’s what helps me pull away. I gently disengage, but our foreheads rest together for a moment. I think about telling her why I stopped. We can’t start something right now, with the separation looming between us. We’ve been friends for too long. I don’t want to ruin our friendship over temporary passion.

Instead, I say nothing. Our gazes meet, and I can see the same awareness in her eyes.

“Poor timing,” she says with a sigh.

“Piss poor.”

She seems poised to say something for a second. I hang on the moment, thinking if she says the right thing—though I don’t know what that is—it will alter the course of our destinies and forever intertwine us.

After a moment, she pulls back. “You have a filthy mouth, Ryder Holland.”

“Fuck yeah.” I smirk at her. “My mother thinks the military will cure me of that.”

She laughs. “Your mother is living in a different world.”

“Ain’t that the truth?” I say with gusto. My mom’s a flighty former hippie too. I love her and my dad, but she’s just as hard to relate to as he is.

Lisbeth stands up then, stretching. I can’t help noticing her taut body and nice breasts. They aren’t overly large, but they’re more than a handful.

Yeah, she’s my best friend, but I’m still a teenage boy. I’m going to notice breasts like hers.

“I’m going to take off. I still have several family events to get through before they let me leave.” Her smile takes the slight sting of criticism out of her words.

“I won’t see you again, most likely.” My bus leaves in two days at five a.m. I stand up and pull her in for a hug. I spend a moment inhaling her shampoo, hoping the familiar scent will comfort me in the hard days ahead. “I’m going to miss you, Cricket.”

She pulls back and grimaces. “Not that stupid nickname.” She’ll never live down the time she freaked out and ran away from the cricket I showed her in second grade.

I laugh. “I promise you won’t hear it again for a while.”

“We’ll see each other soon.” She says it hopefully, but I’m not sure she believes it. She probably realizes how uncertain the future is, and how hard it will be to get together once we’re all under the military’s direction.

“Sure.” I hug her once more and step back. “I’m sure we will.”

She looks sad for a moment, but then she blinks and manages a wobbly smile. “Do you want to walk me home?”

“Yeah. You have the flashlight anyway.” I wink at her.

She sticks out her tongue at me and heads down the trail first, shining the light before her. Walking behind her for what could be the last time makes my chest ache, and there’s a burning behind my eyes that I blink to clear. I’m excited about the future, but I’m regretting the past and my failure to tell her how I feel before it was too late.

We will have another chance. I promise myself that as I follow her into the night.

Lisbeth:

Ten Years Later:

I sit up as soon as the bus enters the outskirts of Sage Valley. I know the town will be decked out for the winter holidays, and I can’t wait to see it again. I’ve made it home for more Christmases than not in the past decade, but it feels different this time as the Greyhound rolls into town. It is different and feels like starting over, though I’m returning home.

We move down Main Street, and a few people on the bus stir to look at the holiday spectacle outside, though most of my fellow passengers don’t seem to care. My nose is practically glued to the window.

There are lights and tinsel everywhere, along with big, inflatable figures. An eight-foot snowman takes up most of the side parking lot at Sage Valley Hardware. Plastic Santa and his reindeer are parked on the outskirts of the lot for Ida’s Grocery.

There are fake little elves, no more than three feet tall, at each intersection, and every tree on Main Street is decked out with bulbs, lights, and what appear to be handmade decorations. If things haven’t changed, they come from the third-grade class at Sage Valley Elementary. Mrs. Bartell was my teacher in third grade when our class helped make the ornaments that year, but she’s surely retired by now.

The whole display looks like a mall display threw up. It’s cheesy and over-the-top in the same way it is every year in Sage Valley.

I love it. There’s a grin so wide on my face that it makes my cheeks hurt as the Greyhound turns off Main Street to park at the bus station.

My grin grows wider for a different reason as the bus coasts to a stop, and people pour out of the station. About ninety percent of them are my family, and it looks like everyone made it to greet me.

I bounce off the bus and don’t pay any mind to getting my duffel bag. My first thought is for greeting my family. I rush toward them as they spill out around me like a tsunami. Everyone is loud and talking over each other. I can’t get a word in edgewise, but I’m still trying. I immediately fall back into the patterns I grew up with—trying to talk over the others and not really minding my chatter is getting lost.

Lord, my family can hug. I guess I’d forgotten what huggers the whole Bentley clan is. After ten years of having to be deliberate with my physical interactions, it feels good to relax and embrace all the arms coming my way. I lose track of who I’ve hugged over the next five minutes, but I know Mom and Dad sneaked in a couple of extra ones.

“Hey, are you gonna get your bag?” asks the driver. More like shouts than asks, and he sounds impatient, indicating he’s been trying for a while to get my attention.

I try to pull away from Grandma Jessie to go get my bag, but she clings tightly to me. I shoot a helpless look at Jaxon, and with a long-suffering look I’m sure is mostly faked, he goes to retrieve my bag and drops it at my feet a moment later.

When I finally pry myself free from Grandma’s clutches—not that I really mind being loved so fiercely—I tip my head at Jaxon. “Thanks, bro.”

“You’re welcome, squirt.”

I roll my eyes at the nickname. As the oldest in our family of seven children, including being twelve minutes older than his twin Rafe, he used to be insufferable about reminding us he was top dog. It’s funny now, because I’m only a couple of inches shorter than him, and I notice he’s gotten a little soft in the middle. I could totally take him. Recalling the many times he tickle-tortured me as children, I’m briefly tempted.

Instead, I lean in for a hug, certain I haven’t gotten one from Jaxon yet. After hugging him, I hug his wife, Dara, and their two children.

I notice my father and Grandpa Jack are trying to herd everyone to their respective vehicles, so I pick up my little niece and put her on my hip. She’s only two and a little uncertain of me. Her lower lip wobbles for a moment, but then she must decide I’m okay. She smiles at me and grabs a generous handful of my curly brown hair, which isn’t confined in a bun since I can wear it any way I want now.

She tugs hard enough to bring tears to my eyes, and I give her a watery smile as I pass her to her mother at their car. It takes a moment to pry her chubby fingers from my locks, and as I’m doing so, I stare down at her finger entwined with mine. It sends a pang of longing through me.

I want this. I want what Jaxon and Dara have. It wasn’t really possible when I was considering making a career in the Coast Guard, but now the options before me are dizzying to contemplate. I’m free to do what I want. Any old time.

I grin as the song pops into my head, but the thought is fleeting, and I’m soon settled in the back of Dad’s pickup with my youngest sister leaning against me. Cami’s only nineteen, and I feel like I’ve missed most of her life. When I left, she was a pudgy tomboy, but now she seems all girl, with her perfectly applied makeup and expertly dyed blonde hair. For about the millionth time, I wonder if I did the right thing when I chose to leave Sage Valley to see the world after graduation.

When we arrive at the Bentley land, Grandpa Jack and Grandma Jessie’s house is the first one we come to. Most of the other Bentleys live on the land too, but their houses are farther back. My heart skips a beat at the sight of the sprawling farmhouse, where so much of my childhood took place. The memories come thick for a moment, and Ryder is wrapped up in most of them.

My heart skips again, but for a different reason. Ryder agreed to meet up for our unofficial ten-year reunion. Jamie and Jace are coming back home too, so it’ll be just like old times.

Okay, I don’t want it exactly like old times. I want to see if Ryder is as amazing as I remember. I’ve traveled all over the world and haven’t met a man like the one in my memory. I sometimes think I’ve built a mind shrine to him, and I’m misremembering him. He can’t possibly be as perfect as I recall.

I can’t wait to find out if he is though. Because if he’s half the man I remember him being at just eighteen, I want him to be my man. It’s time to see what could have happened all those years ago if there hadn’t been barriers between us.

I just want Ryder to agree with that. I know enough from our sporadic letters that he isn’t in a serious relationship, or he wasn’t at the last one I received three months ago. I’m not either and never really have been. The conditions are perfect. I hope.

The tidal wave of Bentleys spills into the grandparents’ house, which is plenty large enough to accommodate us all. A few things have changed here and there since the last time I was here for Christmas last year, but it’s all basically the same. I like that it hasn’t changed. It feels like stepping right back into my life from before, which is what I want now.

I love traveling and being in the Coast Guard was a mostly positive experience, but I’m ready for a different stage in my life. I want a home and family, and a man to love. Will that man be Ryder? So far, he’s the only serious contender for the spot. I pray he feels the same way.