Secret Justice

Knock Knock, went the door!

"Magz, did you forget your key again?" I laughed as I approached the door, not even checking the spy hole before opening it.

"Scarlet," his voice purred.

"What are you doing here?"

He pushed me into my room.

"I think that’s obvious, I want you."

My stomach turned, bile making its way up my throat.

"Please, don't!" He pushed me onto my bed. "Please, don't!" He laughed as he tore at my clothes, exposing my underwear-free chest.

"Oh, Scarlet."

Eight Years Earlier I always struggled with school; I could never find the patience to concentrate, so I was excited when I eventually got to college and I was able to pick subjects that I was interested in. I always found comfort in music, especially classical. I think I got that from my dad; he was a big fan of the opera and he promised me that one day he would take me. Just before my eighth birthday, he had been complaining of chest pains. He collapsed on the kitchen floor and was rushed to the hospital, where he died in the early hours of the next morning. It tore me apart, he was a wonderful father and my best friend. When he died, a part of me died with him. He was taken from me before I got to know him.

Devastated from the loss of a man who had been the centre of my universe, I became a recluse, shutting my mother and everybody else out. I stop playing with friends, so by the time I went to college, I had very few of them. I was the weird kid, the loner, but it didn’t bother me. Even six years on, I remained numb from the loss of my father. I realised that by being this way, I could keep people at arm’s length, I wouldn't get too close. I could not bear the thought of losing somebody dear to me again. My relationship with my mother was still strained. She was jealous of the relationship I had with my dad. She said I sent him to his grave with all the adventures we went on, said I stressed him out. I eventually found out that she had never wanted children and only got pregnant for my dad, so she resented me for all the time we spent together. “You took him away from me, Scarlet. He loved you more than he loved me.” I could never understand how she could have thought this, and it broke my heart that she could blame all this on me. I still loved my mum, but she had hurt me so much that we barely spoke anymore. We were like strangers, two ships passing in the night. She stayed out late, and I spent all my time in my room, so we had next to no contact.

My college life went ok. I enjoyed my dance and music lessons—not so much the science and maths—but the worse thing was that it finished at 3 pm. I never wanted to go home, so I joined every after-school club. It also meant I had plenty of time to revise for my exams, so surely it was a good thing that I had no friends or life? It didn’t seem like I was missing out.

My exams were coming up, and I had to get good grades to get into the academy I had chosen. I had to perform two pieces of material, one for my dance lesson and one for my singing lesson. These were conducted in front of two judges, and we were marked on effort, originality, and precision. I decided on Flash Dance for my dancing exam and I chose to sing a classical piece. I picked my dad’s favourite, "Con Te Partiro" by Andrea Bocelli. I took every spare slot in the music hall to practice and used all my free periods to get extra time in. I managed to persuade one of the girls in my drama club to play the piano for me in my singing performance, so I thought I was on the right track, and I felt everything was organised for my appointments. I had finished all my after-school clubs for the day, and it was only 5:30 pm. Mum would have been home for an hour, so hopefully, with it being Friday, she had gone straight out. I was disappointed when I arrived home and her car was still there. I pushed the big oak door open, and she was sitting in the kitchen, reading a letter and laughing. It wasn’t a good laugh; it was a crazy, demented laugh.

"I see you have contacted a school!" I rushed over to the table and tried to grab the letter, but she pulled her hand away when I reached for it.

"Have you seen how much it is per term?" she asked, giving me a crazy smile.

"How are you going to afford it, Scarlet?" I could sense the sarcasm in her voice. This was not meant to be difficult; she was my mum and my dad had left me money, money for me and my future.

"Well, I was hoping I could use some of my trust fund."

"What makes you think there is any left?"

"Why wouldn’t there be?"

"Well, I had to use some of it." The dream that I had been chasing and relied on was crashing down before my eyes. My world was falling apart, and it was not because of some horrible evil person, it was because of my mother. The woman that had carried me for nine months and held me in my first hours. I was trying my best to keep my cool, but my voice threatened to crack.

"How much is left?" I dig my fingernails into my palms to stop me from crying. I could feel my nails cutting my skin, and it was that pain that kept in the fire that was threatening to burst out, the fire that wanted me to slap some sense into my mother.

"There is only £1000 left." My mind went numb. I could not figure out how she could have possibly spent all that money, it had only been six years.

"How or why?"

"I know, £40,000 in six years blows your mind, doesn’t it?"

With the smile she gave me, I snapped. I slapped her so hard across her face that her head flicked back. She was shocked, her mouth wide open. I grabbed her collar and pulled her towards me.

"For the past six years, I wished you had died. I fucking despise you, Eva!" I pushed her back onto the chair and walked out of the kitchen. I grabbed everything I could get into my bag and left the house. My life was ruined, she had taken the last thing from me that had kept me going, the part that stayed alive for all those years. She had broken me. What did I have to live for? How could I possibly live my dream if I couldn’t even afford the induction fee?

I tried to avoid my music teacher, Mrs. Proctor. I could not bear the thought of explaining that there was no point me passing my exams as I could not go to the school I had applied for. I felt terrible as she had gone to so much trouble to get me an appointment with the academy because my grades were not brilliant. She had persuaded them, saying my determination and talent would overshadow my grades. Now I was going to have to say I was broke and let her down.

"Scarlet, can I have a word." My shoulders slumped forward, and I walked into her office, keeping my head down. If I looked at her, I would cry, I just knew it. I found myself rubbing the gold pendant around my neck. My dad had given it to me on my 7th birthday, and I found comfort in it when I felt sad or nervous. "Miss Harris said she hasn’t seen you practising the past couple of days, are you ok?"

"I can’t do it." I was still staring at my feet. I pressed my fingertips to the corner of my eyes to stop tears from falling.

"Can't do what, Scarlet?" I leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath.

"It's all gone, all the money has gone. I can’t afford the tuition, so there’s no point in me passing my exam. There's no point in anything." I did not think I could feel any lower than I did, but sitting here telling somebody else made it more real. My life was over.

"Scarlet, calm down," Mrs. Proctor was bent down holding my hand our eyes level.

"Mrs. Proctor, it's over. She took it all. She has ruined my dream. After my dad, I finally found something to fill the void, and now she’s taken that as well. What am I going to do? I’m not good at anything else." She rubbed my knee.

"Now, Miss Fox, don’t be silly. You are capable of lots of things." She retrieved a leaflet from her desk.

"Give this a read, now I think you will be accepted for it due to your circumstances." I took the leaflet and quickly scanned the front. It was information about tuition loans.

"There are also scholarships that could be available to you. You need to promise me that you will go to your exams. You’re so talented, Scarlet, and it will be such a waste," Mrs. Proctor had sadness in her eyes.

"I will help you as much as I can, Scarlet. You’re a special girl."

"Thank you, Mrs. Proctor." I gave her a massive hug, "I promise." I walked out of her office with my head held high, I promised Mrs. Proctor, and if I learned one thing, you never break your promises.

It was my results day, and I had probably had two hours' sleep due to nerves. Since the argument with my mum, I had been staying at my Nan’s. We were very close, living just two streets away, and she was always there when I needed her. She tried giving me the money for the academy, but I told her that I could get help and I didn’t want her giving up her life's savings for me.

"Scarlet, lush, are you awake?" I rubbed my eyes. My Nan was Welsh, so she had the strangest sayings. I was told by her that "lush" meant "gorgeous."

"Yeah, Nan, come in." She pushed the door open to what used to be my dad's room. It was still painted blue with white ships sailing through the walls. It was a peaceful room. I would lay in bed for what seemed like hours, just breathing in the quiet and calmness of the room. A comforter that was made by my Nan for my dad when he was born was draped over the bottom of the bed.

"How are you feeling, sweet?" my Nan squeezed my foot.

"I’m ok, just nervous."

"Do you want me to come with you to get the results?"

"It's ok, you stay here. I won’t be gone long."

"ok, get up then. Otherwise, you will miss it." She pushed my legs off the bed and giggled as she walked out of the room. I sat up in bed, risking a glance at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy from the lack of sleep, and my hair was a crazy mess. I don’t know what the hell I did in my sleep, but my hair resembled a windswept bird nest. I had to smile to myself. I swung my legs off the bed and stretched my aching body. Even though I was stiff, I felt good; it felt good to ache as I knew I was working hard. I slipped on my favourite ripped skinny jeans and fitted white vest top.

Juniper Hill wasn’t known for its hot weather, but it was a bright sunny morning, so I walked to school instead of getting the bus. It gave me a chance to relax and calm my nerves. I popped in my earphones and listened to what sounded like a cat wailing, but it was supposedly dolphins singing. I didn’t care, it was relaxing. I wrapped my jacket around my waist and started the long walk to school. Juniper Hill is a very quiet place boasting only two miles wide. There are never many people around, so I was very surprised when Mickey Rowe pulled up beside me in his MG Rover. He startled me when he shouted my name.

"Shit, Mickey!" He gave me that gorgeous smile.

"Sorry, Scarlet, didn’t mean to frighten you." He let out a raw, loud chuckle that vibrated through my body.

"What do you want?" I had my hands shoved in my pockets kicking the ground under my shoes.

"Well, you're going to school, I’m going to school. Do you want a lift?" I eye him suspiciously.

"Why?"

"Bloody hell, Scarlet, why is everything a question?" I could not help but smile.

"When you’re involved, there is normally trouble." Mickey had been a childhood friend, and we had grown up together from the ages of 6 to 12. He lived next door, and we spent a lot of time together, but as we got older, he wanted to go out. I wasn’t interested, and we just grew apart. I didn’t blame him, he was outgoing, popular, and gorgeous, and I was shy, strange, and way beyond plain. So we didn’t fit. He opened his passenger door for me and chucked all the wrappers off the seat into the back of the car.

"Sorry about the mess," he looked embarrassed.

"Hey, don’t worry," he looked at me. He still had the most gorgeous eyes I had ever seen. They were deep green with a flicker of blue, and they were mesmerizing. I was stunned as I hadn’t been this close to him for, well, a few years.

"You look well, Scarlet."

"Shut up." He laughed again

"You could never take a compliment." He pulled a strand of hair off my glossed lips. My breath hitched in my throat, and I went to say I had missed him terribly.

"Let's go get our results." He sped off down the country lane. Being with Mickey again, I felt hope and maybe an exciting future.

"Nan, Nan, where are you?" I came running into the living room.

"SURPRISE!" My Nan and granddad stood in the living room with party hats on and a massive cake with what looked like a hundred candles. "Oh my god, GUYS!" I put both arms around them.

"So, honey," I stepped back wiping my eyes.

"I did it, Nan, I got in!"

"SCARLET!" My Nan embraced me, hugging me so hard, "Scarlet, that’s great! That is wonderful news."

"Well done, sweetheart." My granddad kissed me on the head.

"Thanks, gramps, you have both been a massive support to me through everything."

"That’s what we’re here for, darling. Now come, let’s eat some cake." Nan started lighting the candles. "I see Mickey gave you a lift back."

"Nan, were you curtain-twitching again?"

"I was looking out for you, me and your granddad were getting anxious. You should have seen how he watched to the door even after you had gone, he stared for a few seconds longer."

"It's nothing like that, Nan, he's way out of my league. Haven’t you seen him?" My Nan smiled.

"Oh, darling, I think it’s the other way around."

"Your biased, Nan."

"Ok." We joked and laughed for the rest of the evening, only stopping to order take out.

"So, darling, what’s the plan now? What’re the next steps?" Nan and I had retired to the porch swing out in the back garden.

"Well, I’ve got to contact Mrs. Proctor on Monday to schedule my audition with the academy."

"Oh, Scarlet, that is so exciting! You never told me what the academy is called" I ran into my room and grab the prospectus

"it's called the Urban Academy" I passed the booklet to my Nan, and she placed her small glasses on the bridge of her nose. She eyed each page carefully and studied each picture. I left her to look when I heard a knock at the door. I walked through the house. My granddad was snoring on the sofa. I smiled as I opened the door.

"Oh, hi, Mickey," trying my best to straighten out my dress and hair.

"Hey, Scarlet," he had a bottle in his hand.

"On your way to a party?" I pointed at his hand.

"Well, I don’t know. Sarah Green is having a celebration party for everybody getting their results, and I wondered if you would like to come as my date?" I felt like I was in a dream. Mickey Rowe was standing on my porch asking me out.

"Well, Mickey, the thing is, erm, well…" He took two steps and stood in front of me.

"What’s wrong, Scarlet?" He lifted my chin so he could look at me.

"Well, I was in the middle of telling my Nan about the academy, and I, well, I." He silenced me with a kiss. I didn’t move, he let me get acquainted with his mouth before he ran his tongue along the crease of my lips. I stood ridged with my arms locked at my sides.

"Scarlet," he looked at me like he was looking deep into my soul. His gaze made me feel warmth, a warmth that I hadn’t felt since my dad passed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tiptoed up to him, and with the little experience I had, I softly kissed him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him. I slid my fingers into his soft black hair and nervously slid my tongue into his mouth. He let out a muffled groan and deepened the kissed swirling his tongue around mine. He pulled away and kissed me softly once more. I did not want to open my eyes, I knew this had to be a dream.

"Scarlet," he pushed a stray hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear. I opened my eyes with a massive grin on my face

"what was that for?" I touched my tender lips.

"well, it has been coming for the past six years," I nudged his shoulder with my hand.

"what?" he pulled me towards making me squeal.

"come on, Scarlet. I’ve been mad about you since we were 10!" he smiled showing me why all the girls swooned after him at school. How could this be happening? I was not his type. Yes, I was slender and tall standing at 5ft 9in, but I was boring.

“What it’s taken you all this time to kiss me" I was poking fun at him

"well Scarlet Fox you have been pining for me just as much" he traced the pad of his thumb along my lips

"well, I’m only human," I heard a cough come from the doorway and jumped back from Mickey’s embrace. "Nan."

"Mrs. Fox"

"oh, hello, Michael, how lovely to see you. What brings you over here?"

"well, I was inviting Scarlet to a party…" He held up the bottle.

"but we both decided to stay here with you and toast mine and Scarlet’s results." My Nan seemed genuinely pleased.

"That would be lovely, Michael, please come in... TERRY WAKE UP!" I heard my granddad snort.

"I wasn’t asleep." Mickey and I both laughed.

"nothing’s changed, I bet," I said looking up at him.

"no, you’re still at beautiful as you were back then." I linked my hands with his.

"ditto."

Oh my god, the next couple of weeks were mental. I had my audition and got a full-time spot on the course starting in September. I worked out with my Nan that I could commute, but it means an early start and I wouldn't get home until late, but that means I would still be near my family and, of course, Mickey. I had seen lots of him over these two weeks, and to say they have been amazing is an understatement. I never realised how broken I was until we started seeing each other. I just felt so alive and happy whenever I was with him. He promised that the next three weeks would be amazing and we wouldn’t be spending a moment apart. I wouldn’t argue with that in the slightest.

"so, if we’re not going to spend a moment apart, what are we going to do about sleeping? I don’t know whether my Nan would let you stay here."

"I bet she would, she trusts me," he stuck his nose in the air and shook his head, making himself look superior and posh. I could not help but laugh.

"oh my god, I love you." I pulled him towards me, going for a kiss, when I froze, "oh my god! I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that!" Fuck, I screwed this. Why did I say that? I couldn’t love him. It had been two weeks. He pulled my hands away from my face, and his face was as bright as a sunny day.

"Why are you sorry?"

"well, it’s been two weeks, and I shouldn’t have, and I’m such a div." he pushed me down on the bed and devoured my mouth. He was cupping my chin whilst he kissed me so erotically that I was hot all over. I was tingling in places that I’d never felt before. I kissed him back with as much passion, and his hands grazed over my body lightly lingering on my breasts.

"I love you too. Scarlet. I have for a long time." I pulled away from him, so we were face to face.

"Why have you kept your distance from me then?"

"I thought I had done something to upset you as you didn’t seem to want me around anymore, so I gave up. I know I shouldn’t have, as you needed me after your dad died, but I was selfish. I was immature, but when I saw you walking to school, I thought this was my chance, and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer." He smiled at me as he slowly pushed my cardigan off my shoulders, kissing my skin as it fell away.

"where are your Nan and granddad?" he whispered in my ear, his breath leaving goosebumps on my skin.

"errmm, where are who?"

He whispered again. My body was doing strange things, and my groin was tingling.

"They're out for the night."

He whispered in my ear again, and I didn’t listen, I just relished in the feeling his breath on my neck, his fingertips tracing my skin. I was panting. As I opened my eyes, he was leaning over me.

"did you want to stay over?" giving him what I hoped was a sexy smile.

"well, we wouldn’t want you being on your own," he slowly lowered his head towards me, and just before our lips touched:

"Are you sure about this?"

I kissed him.

"Please say it is, Scarlet. I want you to be sure."

"of course I’m sure, I love you."

"I love you too, Scarlet, so very much."

"Scarlet, open the door!" THUD, BANG, explicit language followed. I rubbed my eyes checking the clock. It was 4 am. I looked over at Sophia's bed, and she wasn’t there. SHIT. I had deadlocked the door again, which means her key wouldn’t work. I ran to the door fiddling with the lock.

"Before you say anything, I’m sorry, it’s just habit." When she did not answer, I looked up. "What the hell, Sophia, what happened?" her top was ripped in half, and she had a bloody nose.

"I was attacked on the way home from the club."

"shit," I grabbed her, pulling into the room, "babe, are you ok?" I gently set her down on the edge of her bed and started to look for a first aid kit, "where the Fuck is the first aid kit?" I was talking to myself more than Sophia, "ta-dah, I’ve found it!" I dashed back into our room, and she was asleep on her bed. She looked so frail and small, I pulled the cover over her and kissed her forehead.

Sophia and I had lived together in the dorms for just under two years. I did request a room on my own, but I got lumped with a fiery redhead, and if it wasn’t for her, I would still be shutting myself away, keeping everyone out. These past four years had been crazy, some bad, some good, but I would remind myself that I was fortunate to be doing something I loved. I enjoyed the Urban Dance Academy immensely, and when I got offered a scholarship to NYD&A, I was ecstatic and accepted immediately. Not thinking about anyone else! The school was beyond amazing. NYD&A stands for New York Dance & Arts, and it was situated in a renovated old hotel in New York that overlooked the Hudson River. What more can I say? Telling my grandparents was easy, they were supportive of anything I wanted to do, but telling Mickey that I was taking off for two years to another country was heartbreaking. I wanted to hope that he would wait for me, but two years was a long time. He was, of course, wonderful, telling me he was so proud of me and that I had worked so hard. Then the "but" came.

"This is great news, Scarlet, but how is going to work? I’m never going to see you, and with the time difference, we possibly wouldn’t be able to talk. I’m sorry, I just can’t see it working." If I had not been sitting down, I think my legs would have collapsed.

"I understand it was a lot to ask." He took a deep breath and pulled me into the security of his arms.

"I love you so much, Scarlet, and the thought of losing you causes me pain."

"well, maybe we could try and see how it goes? we have two school holidays a year, and I get free flights home and for the family to come over." He smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes. I knew then that the relationship was over.

I awoke the next morning with somebody banging around.

"Fuck! Shit!" Sophia is up.

"Morning sunshine." she glared at me.

"screw you, Fox." She gave me a small smile.

"How are you feeling?" noting the blood from last night had not left a scratch.

"I’m fine."

"have you reported it to the dean?"

"Scarlet, can we just leave it?" I was shocked at how blunt she was with me.

"I best get going, I will see you later." She left. I was worried about her as she has never been short with me before. Maybe last night had something to do with it. I did not want to press it, and she would tell me in her own time.

"He's here again," I looked at Maggie, who sat next to me in Dance Media. Dance Media was a posh way of saying watching plays, films, etc. and writing about them afterward.

"Who's here?"

"Juicy Jerry." Jerry was one of the benefactors of the school. He put a lot of money into the school, which included equipment, resources, and school field trips, so he was a big wig. He wasn’t hard on the eyes either.

"God, he's hot!" She was fanning herself. I looked at him. He was sitting down at the front with our professor. He had jet black hair that he slicked back, but in a trendy way, a black crisp fitted shirt that caressed his muscles, and snug-fit jeans. Just my luck, he looked up as I was ogling. I looked down straight away. I snuck another peek, and he was smiling as he wrote something on his notepad. I hoped to god he didn’t notice me dribbling over him. The lecture went rather quickly, and I didn’t listen to one bit due to the sex god at the front of the class. I made my way down the steps, and me being me, tripped. I tumbled until two strong arms, which held me up.

"Are you ok?"

"oh my god, I’m so sorry." I grabbed all my things off the floor. Maggie just shook her head.

"was that an accident, Scarlet?" She gave me a wink. I stood up throwing everything back in my bag.

"it’s Scarlet, isn’t it?" Jerry was staring at me waiting for my response.

"yes, sorry," I shook his hand.

"Mrs. Ferrier has been telling me all about you and how talented you are." I could feel myself blush.

"That’s nice of her." Realizing I was still holding his hand, I dropped it to my side.

"Thanks for the help, but I’ve got to dash lots more classes to do." God, that did not even make sense. He smiled.

"nice to have met you," my legs felt like jelly as I scurried out the door. I got around the corner and took a breather, bracing myself against the wall. God, I’m such a flake. I can’t even handle hot guys talking to me.

I hadn’t seen or heard from Sophia all day, so I waited for her outside her last class, and Juicy Jerry was sitting in there as well. I stood back so he couldn’t see me and I couldn’t make a fool of myself again. Noticing Sophia, she did not look herself. She was biting on her thumb and looking everywhere but the front of the class. Maybe Jerry made her nervous? But Sophia never normally had a problem where blokes were concerned. The bell rang, and I saw Sophia grab all her things and bolt towards the door, but Jerry called her back, and her whole body language changed. Her back was stiff, and her mouth was an angry thin line like she was mad. She walked over to him, and he brushed her hair over her shoulder. Her body shuddered, and her hands were fists at her sides. Jerry leaned in and whispered something to her, and she just hung her head down. She slowly made her way to the door.

"Hey, good looking."

"Hey, you," her smile was sad.

"coffee? my treat."

"Yeah, sounds great," I peered back towards the door, and Jerry gave me a heartbreaking smile. I could not help but smile back.

"Are you ok?" I asked as we sat down at the on-campus coffee shop that was indiscreetly a knock off of Starbucks. It was called Moon Bucks, but they had the best coffee and ginger carrot cake, so I wasn’t complaining. Sophia still had not replied.

"Sophia, what’s going on? Did something happen last night?"

"well, yes, obviously, but I’m ok. Everything’s ok. Can we just forget it?"

"ok."

"I’m sorry, Scarlet. I’m grateful for your concern, but honestly, there’s nothing to worry about." I nodded. I knew she was keeping something from me, and I was starting to think it may have something to do with Jerry.

The next two weeks passed in a blur, what with exams, rehearsals, and recitals. I was beyond busy and now extremely exhausted. We had finished for the day, and I was going to go home, have a bath, and relax. Maggie promised that she would take me clubbing tomorrow, and from what she tells me about her antics, she doesn’t get in till the next morning, so I thought I would need to give myself a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow was our last day before the Easter break, so everybody was pumped up with going home for the holidays or partying the whole time. I decided this holiday I would not go home. My grandparents always holidayed at Easter, and I did not want to mess up their plans as I knew they would cancel them if I came home. The other thing that was stopping me from going home is Mickey. In the last conversation I had with my Nan, she told me he had got engaged, so the thought of seeing him with someone else would break my heart. I was in the process of mending it from the breakup, so I thought the distance would help me recover. I had just got into bed, and Sophia crept in. I could hear heaving breathing as she had run a marathon. I knew she had work tonight, so I assumed she must have danced a lot. My opinion changed when I could hear her crying in the shower, I wanted to comfort her, but she would not let me help her. "Sophia, are you ok?"

"SHIT, Scarlet, you scared me." she laughed that crazy sound.

"Yeah, I’m ok, just knackered from work. I will be out soon." Why does she keep lying to me? I’m her best friend. Well, I thought I was. Thirty minutes passed, and she's still in there. I turned off the lights and snuggled into my soft mattress. Sleep grabbed me quickly.

I woke to a bright sunny room. I looked around, and Sophia was not there.

"Sophia?" no answer. I looked at the clock: 9 am. Shit! I never sleep in. I grabbed all my clothes and raced to get ready. I got to my first lecture as it was finishing. I waited till everybody had filed out to apologize to the professor. Mrs. Ellison was lovely, so hopefully, she would cut me some slack. As the last pupil came out, I walked towards her office. I tapped lightly on the door.

"come in," a deep voice replied.

"Scarlet, I assume you have come to explain why you weren’t in class?" I was taken aback by how brash he was.

"Yes, I’m sorry, I never sleep in."

"ok, Scarlet, here's the work we did today, and I think you should stay behind now and look through it. I can’t be seen to be giving beautiful girls easy rides, can I?"

"suppose not, sir," I smiled weakly.

"Were you out last night? Is that why you slept in? were you out fucking?" I snapped my head towards "excuse me?"

"Hey, you're a lovely looking girl. I bet you fuck a lot," he gave me a flirty laugh. The word "fucking" did not sit right with me, and I instantly felt uncomfortable.

"I’ve read through the notes, can I be excused?"

"well, that depends. I can mark you down as late and here, or absent. The choice is yours."

"Well, I suppose the here would be great," I laughed to ease the tension.

"well, there are conditions as I would be lying," he was standing close to me. A couple of days ago, I would have relished in this, but now I was scared that there was no one around.

"what are the conditions, sir?"

"Don’t look so worried, Scarlet. Come to my office on the 5th floor at 7 pm."

"what for?"

"do you want to be marked down as late? That can cause trouble in job applications in the future."

"Are you blackmailing me, sir?"

"no, of course not, just come by at 7 pm, and I will explain it further," he smiled at me, but it was a sly menacing smile.

"ok," and I rushed out of the classroom, forgetting all about my lesson plan.

Dead on 7 pm, I knock on Jerry’s door. A posh-looking woman answered.

“can I help?" She was looking at me in disgust.

“I’m here to see Jerry.” If looks could kill.

“you mean Mr. Matthews?”

“oh, yes, Mr. Matthews. I have an appointment.”

“Well, he’s busy, and why are you here after school hours?”

“well, he told me to come by at this time.”

“course he did, sweet” She slammed the door. I could not get my head around what just happened, maybe it was a test to see if I showed up? I am not very good with boys or men, not having much experience. Since Mickey, I have only had short-term romances, which lasted weeks, so I am unprepared and very inexperienced. Maybe I was reading too much into it. Jerry was an important person at the school; he would not do anything to hurt or harm any students surely. I walked back to the dorm and Maggie was waiting for all dressed up and waiting to party.

“bloody hell, Scarlet, you’re not ready!”

“give me a minute,” I decided not to say anything about Jerry. Maybe with my inexperience, I was getting everything all wrong.

Maggie took me to all the good bars, and we ended up in the club Sophia works at. It was just out of the city in Edgewater. It was meant to be ace, and we were promised free drinks, so that confirmed it for us. Hot Lips is a strip club, and to say I was nervous was an understatement. I was expecting a seedy dark den with pervy old men, but it was beautiful inside. It was decorated in a boudoir style with lace and glitter everywhere, and the majority of the men were young and fit. I saw Sophia dancing, and she looked relaxed and happy, like her usual self. When she saw us, she came running over and seemed genuinely happy to see me.

“Hey, sweets, you made it. Did you like my dancing?” She swayed her curvy hips.

“I most certainly did!” I shoved five bucks down her pants.

“Cheap bitch!” she hugged me.

“does the school know you dance here?”

“They think I just work behind the bar, but how can I not let people appreciate all this?” She stroked her hands down her body, “plus, it’s probably not best for my future career.” I laughed and agreed with her.

“Well, Maggie and I didn’t see anything.” she gave me a loud kiss on my cheek.

Waking up with the worst hangover, I was committed to staying in bed all day.

“Hey you,” Sophia was sitting on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. I thought she was nursing a hangover, but then she started crying. I jumped out of bed rather quickly, which caused me to stumble.

“babes, what’s wrong?” cringing at my loud voice, I squinted at her.

“I’m being chucked off the course. Jerry. I mean. Mr. Matthews has complained about me sexually assaulting him, showing up to his house and office naked." With my monster hangover, I was trying my best to keep up to speed, but my mouth would not respond.

“I didn’t, scarlet! I swear, please say you believe me!” I pulled her down onto the bed, shielding my eyes with my arm.

“shh, babes, of course, I believe you.” I pulled her into my chest and hugged her as hard as I could. “How did it happen, Sophia?” she pulled herself up and sat upright against the headboard. I sat cross-legged on the bed looking at her. She took a few deep breaths.

“Well, you can appreciate he's gorgeous, yeah?" her eyes were filling with unshed tears. "he told me I was special and he thought I had a promising future." I was rubbing her back gently. God, what I’d give for some paracetamol, this headache is a killer. "He took me to a show. He was very charming, paying me all these compliments. We ended up kissing, and we went back to his place. Then the next day, he told me it was a mistake and that he didn’t think we should see each other again. He seemed genuinely sorry," her tears turned to anger, "he told me not to tell anybody because I would get into trouble. Two weeks ago, he was contacting me again, saying he was sorry and that he couldn’t keep away, and we started seeing each other again. He would pick me up from work, and we would have sex in his car. He told me he loved me, Scarlet. That fucking bastard! I believed him, so I carried on seeing him and got carried away. I thought I was falling in love with him, but then he asked if I would meet with his friends. He wanted me to dance for them. It was a bachelor party, and I just had to do a striptease. I thought well I’d done it before, and Jerry would be there." her tears started again. "Once the party got on, I got offered drinks and the guys seemed nice. One grabbed my ass, which caught me off guard, but they were drunk and having fun, so I let it go. The music came on, and Jerry ushered me to the middle of the room. All the men stood around me, and I coaxed what I thought was the groom-to-be towards me. He grabbed me harshly wrapping his palm and hand over my crouch, trying to rip my underwear. I shouted 'no,' but Jerry just looked at me. I pushed the man off me and asked what the hell he was doing, and he answered, 'Jez, said you were a sure thing.' I was so scared, Scarlet. I was all alone with ten or so men, and I just froze. These men were expecting me to sleep with them."

"What happened? Did you?" she looked shocked.

"no, I fucking didn't."

"I’m sorry, you just said ten men!"

"yes, there were, but me being me, I acted dumb and said I was just surprised that Jerry was willing me to hire me out, smiling at them all sweetly. My insides were trying to worm themselves out. I felt physically sick with fear. I excused myself and said I needed to go toilet and that I would make it all worth their while when I got back. I rushed to the toilet and just stood in the small cubicle. I did not know what to do. I did not have my phone or bag, so I was all alone. Jerry shouted through the door that the men were waiting and for me to hurry up. I stood in the mirror staring at myself, coaxing myself to come up with a plan, and just when I thought I’d failed, I had a bright idea." she gave me a small smile whilst blowing her nose on her sleeve. "I noticed when we walked in that there was a gorgeous bay window just outside the bathroom. I poked my head out of the toilet, and Jerry was on the phone down the hall. I didn’t even know where the window looked over, but I crept out the bathroom and slid along the wall. I stood at the window out of view, and it looked like the window overlooked a garden, so in my six-inch heels, I jumped out. I landed flat on my ass, and I just ran, Scarlet. I ran like my life depended on it, and I went straight to the club. Barry wanted to call the police, but what did I have to report? I wasn’t kidnapped, and they didn’t attack me. It would be my word against theirs," she was hugging her knees, rocking back and forth.

"I’m so proud of you, Sophia. You’re so strong and gusty. I would have never had done that." I hugged her and pulled her down to lay with me. "I think Barry’s right, though."

"well, after talking to Barry, I thought I should at least speak to the dean and tell him what the fuck Jerry was doing. Then I got the call this morning saying Miss Watts wanted to see me in her office. That the fucker had told them that I was stalking him, and I had come onto him, showing up at this house drunk and naked, harassing him at school. All the allegations are being looked into, so I’m suspended until then. What am I going to do? dancing is all I know?" Sophia had been shoved into shows, and dancing and singing lessons since she was five. Her mum was a dancer at the national level and a former beauty queen, so Sophia had no choice but to follow in her footsteps. Sophia was good at it, and she was so beautiful. With her flame-red hair and curves in the right places, she never had any problems getting jobs or boys. Without checking with my brain, mouth said, "he’s blackmailing me."

Sophia stopped crying.

"what?"

"well, I missed my class yesterday, and instead of Mrs. Ellison, it was Jerry, and he said if I didn’t want the no show to go on my file, I had to meet him at his office at 7 pm. I knew it didn’t sound right, and he creeped me out. I agreed so I could get out of the office, which I was alone in".

"What happened, Scarlet?" she was picking at imaginary lint on her jeans.

"well, I went, and a woman slammed the door in my face, so I didn’t see him.”

"God, Scarlet, this is so fucked up."

"I so glad you’re here. I wouldn’t want to be alone when he's around. The thing is, I can’t live on campus either. I’m staying at Barry's for the time being until this all gets sorted."

"Barry," I must have looked confused.

"Barry, my boss, remember last night?" this hangover was killing me. I got up to pop two Advil hoping this would ease some of the fog.

"oh yeah, Peter String fellow."

"haha, you kept saying that last night. Barry thought it was hilarious, who is he?"

"Peter String fellow is a peroxide blonde perm tan wannabe sex bomb" I could not hold my laughter in "yeah, that sounds like Barry. He liked you, he has a thing for English girls." I pulled a face.

"he's a bit old."

"yes, he is, big head, but he didn’t fancy you just liked you, said your personality was a killer."

"so, I’m ugly then?"

"where did you get that good personality makes you ugly?"

"that’s boy code. Girls with nice personalities are normal, ugly."

"you're such a bitch. You are gorgeous. And on the extra plus side, you have a wicked sense of humour and personality. When you have a few drinks, you come out yourself. You’re a little wild." she nudged me.

"I hope I didn’t make a fool of myself," rubbing my temples, trying to remember last night.

"I’d never let you do that, sweets," and she bear-hugged me.

Sophia was packing her stuff into a large bag.

"Now, I’m not being bossy, but I’d be a lot more comfortable if Maggie stayed with you while I’m gone."

"what are we going to do about Jerry? what if there are others?"

"I don’t know, sweets. Help me with these," holding her ten pairs of shoes.

It took me thirty minutes to say bye to Sophia. My head's all over the place, and I was so tempted to crawl back into bed, but my nervous side rang Maggie straight away. She agreed to stay with me after I explained about Sophia needing to go home for a family emergency, and she promised to pop by after work. I seemed to be the only bum. All my other friends worked, but my Nan sent me enough money to stop me from doing that. She wanted me to experience uni life without the worries of paying bills, but I felt like I was missing out. I wanted to see some of the cultures that came with working, meeting new people, being in different situations. I grabbed the education papers and read through to see if there were any restrictions on working. Looking through the education handbook, "you must be studying for two years before getting a job off-campus." I have been at NYD&A for two years, so I can get work off-campus. While I waited for Maggie, I pulled out my trusted laptop and hunted for jobs. I was just getting comfy, and there was a knock at the door. thinking it was Maggie, I swung the door open with a big smile on my face. "Jerry, what are you doing here?" I checked around for people, and of all the days, there was not a person around. He walked into my room like he owned the place.

"I’m sorry about Melanie yesterday. she gets very jealous."

"can I help you, Jerry? I’m kind of busy."

"where’s your roommate?" flicking his hand towards Sofia bed.

"she's moved on." he gave me a sexy smile, and my body froze in disgust.

"We need to sort out our little problem." he rubbed a piece of my hair between his fingers. "I’ve always had a thing for blondes."

"Mr. Matthews, what are you doing?" he stood painfully close to me, and his smell was repulsive cheap aftershave mixed with alcohol.

"I’m taking my prize, and you’re going to give it to me. Take your clothes off."

"what? no, no, I’m not doing that."

"do you want to lose everything and be sent home?" I was all alone with the man, and he was adamant about getting what he wanted. Could I persuade him to go?

"so, if I don’t strip for you, I will be struck off?" he smiled

"yes, that sounds about right."

"you can’t do that; one missed lesson is insufficient to throw me off the course."

"yes, but what about your behaviour when you came into Mrs. Ellison's office? The things you were offering and turning up to my office after school hours."

"This is ridiculous, nobody would believe you. I’m an honourable student. what will you get out of this?"

"yes, you are an honourable student, but you're weak like a mouse, you wouldn’t tell anyone because you wouldn’t want people thinking it was your fault like you think it’s your fault that your dad died." My mouth popped open.

"come on, Scarlet, I know all about you. have you heard from Mickey recently? or is he still fucking around?"

"what do you want?" tears were threatening to fall. He was standing over me, pushing me down on the bed.

"Take your fucking clothes off!" bile rose in my throat. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine happy things. "Open those gorgeous eyes of yours. Do you know they have a striking resemblance to the green lagoons in Barreirnhas? That is in Brazil. I love that place. It was there that I committed my first rape." He seemed pleased with himself.

"I remember on your first day you were so shy you wouldn’t even look at me. I wanted to swoop in there and then but Miss fucking Harris with her confidence-building tools and tasks. Two years on, look at you." He caressed my breast. I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming.

"Please, don’t. He traced his finger over my breast and down to the button of my shorts.

"Take your top off, Scarlet," his voice was angry. I was weak. He was right, I was a mouse. I just did as I was told.

"Please, Jerry, don’t do this!"

"do it now." my body was shaking as I pulled the straps of my cami top down. He got himself comfy on my computer chair, crossing his feet at the ankle and hands behind his head.

"quicker," he grunted. When the straps and my bare breasts bounced free, Jerry groaned and adjusted himself. I thought I was going to be sick. I had not let anybody see my breasts in the light as I hated them. They are very big and saggy. I also had massive nipples, so to show them off to somebody I didn’t like or was in a relationship with scared the shit out of me. He slowly stood up from the chair, his eyes alight with something that wasn’t good, and he took one of my nipples in his mouth.

“please stop.” I tried to push him away, but my straps were restricting my arms. I was crying.

“Jerry, please,” and he slapped me so hard around the face that I fell on the bed.

“even better position, baby.”

Maggie burst in.

"shit, Scarlet, I didn’t realise you had company. Oh, Mr. Matthews." I just stood there, my hands covering my breasts, my top around my waist. Jerry got up all casually pulled my top back up, and whispered, "remember what I said. It’s our little secret," smiling as he strode by Maggie. When the door slammed shut, I fell to the floor.

"Scarlet, are you ok?" I could hear somebody shouting my name, slapping me gently on the face, and then I felt cold water.

"oh my god, what did you do that for?"

"I’m so sorry, you were scaring me. I needed to get you to wake up." I could not help but smile at Maggie "what was juicy Jerry doing here? are you two doing it?" her eyebrows were raised

"well, that would be telling," my self-esteem took a nosedive. Would Maggie believe me? Is what Jerry is saying true? Could he do that?

"Earth to Scarlet"

"Sorry, Maggie."

"I will go back and get my things, and shall we get takeout? I think Rusty’s is still open. shall I call?"

"God yes, but can I come with you? I don’t want to stay on my own." she looked at me like I had two heads.

"ok, yeah, tag along.”