Seeking Spirits

The figures stepped into her path as she tried to get to the main door of her apartment building, which loomed ahead through the gloom. They had cut off her progress. The whispering voices grew stronger in her head. She couldn’t understand why they weren’t allowing her to pass. They had never impeded her passage before. But they were growing stronger now. She couldn’t detect any malevolence emanating from them. They were just there, standing in her path to her doorstep, wispy intangible figures of smoke that, when acknowledged, would turn tangible instantly.

That much, she knew by instinct.

Clamoring voices filled her head. She couldn’t shut them out.

How had they gotten through her defenses? She wished she knew how to keep the voices out. She had tried—and had succeeded for a while.

But now, they were back. They had broken through again.

How?

Her body shivered as a louder voice than all the rest shouted into her skull, “Please. I need to right the wrong I did my wife and kids. I need to tell them that I never stopped loving them. Please help me to get word to them.”

Ignoring the voice was hard.

Trying to ignore the throbbing in her head, she pushed past them, soldiering on to her doorstep to press the electronic key to the lock sensor.

They pressed closer. The iciness emanating from them chilled her to the bone. Their intangible bodies were like being pressed by icy wool. When you pressed back, it gave way.

She shivered.

‘Oh God, please…please. Open,’ she prayed.

The lock clicked.

Pushing the door open, she turned to face the figures. She didn’t like them at her back. She’d rather back away facing them than have her back to them. Her face blanched when she saw the crowd. They were uncountable, going on far into the distance.

It had started with just one, then a couple. After a while, maybe word of mouth had gotten to the other spirits, she supposed. Now there were so many of them that she began to hate going out, especially when she began colliding into ghostly forms. She had curtailed her night walking for weeks now. But she began feeling cooped up.

Regardless, she had started taking walks again.

She had to establish some rules with this crowd, or they would flood her bedroom with their presence. They had been like her once, people who understood logical explanations and commands.

‘Weren’t they?

“No one is following me into my building, or into my flat. You all hear?”

There were angry murmurs and mutterings, but the answer was a unanimous vote.

Backing into the main entrance, she finally felt safe as the door swung shut. As it closed, the familiar, malevolent, raspy voice whispered softly, “That rule does not apply to me.”

She shuddered, revolted. Her blood chilled.

“You will be mine. You will never escape me.”

Gasping, she turned to bolt. Her momentum was halted. He held her rooted in place, and then icy tendril-like fingers crept up her spine. Her limbs went weak.

Taut with dread, she was forced to listen to the hateful voice that haunted her every waking and sleeping moments. The words themselves didn’t scare her, but the evilness, foulness, the intent to possess contained in them did.

Summoning her resolve and squaring her shoulders, she willed enough strength into her limbs to move. Her resolve broke the paralysis she was in. Short of breath, she bolted into the building. She ran up the stairs to her flat like a sprinter trying to get to the tape.

Her flat was on the third floor. Expecting at any second to be dragged back to the owner of that voice, she grabbed her key out of the pocket of her trench coat, then shoved it into the lock, all the while feeling an icy chill breathing down her back, that slimy feeling of darkness trying to seep into her pores.

It was only her imagination, but it felt so real.

Her hands were shaking so much that it took her a couple of failed attempts before her door finally opened. She stumbled inside. Spinning around, she slammed it shut.

Sinking down to the floor, she leaned her back against the door, wheezing, and sweating. Tremors shook her body. Tears of fright, mingled with dread, pooled in her eyes, then coursed down her cheeks.

After a while, she calmed down. Her body felt clammy. She listened.

Had she outrun that voice? Or had it followed her in here? Was she safe?

She listened, feeling alone and scared. She was weary, tired of this constant dread. Her body felt like it had been run through the mill.

This voice had been following her for years. She thought it might be a demon. Evil spirits were much stronger than the norm, but demons were in a class of their own. She had encountered this one years before. Ever since then, it had been stalking her. As her psychic abilities grew stronger, he was able to get into her head.

After a while of hearing nothing, after listening intently with her ear pressed against the door, she finally stood up. She waited a few more seconds, and then, breathing a sigh of relief, she walked into her bedroom. She wouldn’t sleep unless she had a shower, so she walked straight into her bathroom.

In the bathroom, she undressed, then stepped under the warm spray. Standing motionless under it, she let it wash away the sweat and tension from her limbs. Closing her eyes, she said a little prayer that this was the last time she would hear that voice, knowing deep down, it was in vain. The owner of that voice wasn’t going to give up.

The hope was always there, though.

Wrapping a towel around her hair, Penina Moce, Nina to her family, friends, and colleagues, found a vest and shorts to wear to bed. Glancing at the alarm clock on her bedside table, she noted it was twelve minutes past midnight.

She had to wake up early for her job at a hotel in North Sydney.

She worked there as a room attendant. It paid well, but she was only doing it to pay her rent, as well as for her law studies at the University of Sydney Law program. She had a scholarship, but that didn’t extend to living and traveling expenses. Luckily, she had a five-hour morning shift, so she could do afternoon classes.

It worked out well as she only worked five hours for five days a week with her five afternoons of classes. Saturdays and Sundays were hers to do whatever she wanted. She explored suburban areas away from the city with the fliers’ job she did on Saturday to supplement her income, and then Sunday was her day of rest.

Resting her head back on her pillow, she closed her eyes.

She was struggling.

Something was sitting on her chest, holding her down while trying to split her head open with a buzz-saw. She couldn’t move. She was terrified as she recognized the vibe emanating from the evil being holding her down. Her body was paralyzed. She prayed in her dream.

Then, she awoke.

She was wide awake, but she couldn’t move! This demon was powerful. The entity was trying to enter her mind. “Let me in. Let me in.” That insidious, raspy voice was whispering the chant over and over.

“NOO…” she yelled in her mind. Her vocal chords wouldn’t work.

She pushed back with her mind and felt a little give. Although she was terrified, her sense of survival had kicked in. She knew nothing good would come of allowing that voice access to her mind and body. The black buzz-saw sound was hard to dislodge.

She had felt a slight give, so she gathered her strength into her mind and pushed. There was a hiss of displeasure from the one holding her down. Anger kicked in. ‘What the hell? she fumed, irked.

She had not given him permission to take over her mind.

Nor her body.

She was still here. She was human, God’s creation. No demon or evil spirit was taking choice away from her without a fight!

She pushed harder. There was an elastic-like ping. Something shot away from her. She sat up.

Then froze.

A mass of bodies surrounded her bed.

They looked tangible. The evil waves coming off them was overwhelming, powerful. Determination came off them in waves. Terrified, she withdrew into herself. Her mind stuttered to find an escape. Her bladder loosened. She wanted to go to the bathroom desperately, but she was too scared to move, afraid that if she did, they would attack.

She snorted at that irrational thought. They would attack anyway. But they were waiting for something. Or someone!

She sensed they were a legion. No wonder she had to fight hard to get out of that coil of evil. Their combined force field was truly terrifyingly powerful.

She sat there, trembling, knowing she didn’t have a hope in hell of fighting off so many of them. She waited, body shaking.

This was it.

The end.

The mass moved closer. Their combined power focused on her.

‘Oh God. I just peed my panties.’

A hysterical laugh burst from her. It paused them in their advance. It was a reprieve.

But then, their combined lava-hot hands touched her. She was burning.

“Oh God…” The words burst from her in an agony of despair. She prepared herself for death.

Praying it would be a quick one.

‘No, this isn’t right.’

“Please, God. I’m not ready. Please save me.” Her lungs felt like they were on fire. “I’m burning. Somebody…help…”

Her voice bubbled, sizzled. Then heat, froze her throat. The light faded as her sight grew dim.

Dimly, through her blurred vision, she could see a white light pierce the darkness. As her vision faded to a pinprick, a man and a woman stepped into sight.

All of a sudden, the scope of her vision started to grow bigger as the brilliant light dispersed the darkness of the room. There was a respite from the pain. The light grew in intensity. The dark mass around her bed shrunk. Then, they dissipated like wisps of smoke, back into the shadows where they came from.

Her burning lungs gasped for water. She took a deep shuddering breath as cool air rushed back around her, into her lungs. The light was warm where it touched her body. She was awestruck. Like little tingling fingers, it caressed her wherever it touched her bare skin. She put out a hand, feeling she needed to touch it.

Then, a jolt of electricity shot through her body as a hand gripped hers. The hand was solid!

She looked up into eyes that reminded her of a clear ocean on a sunny day. The face they inhabited was so gorgeous, it stole her breath away.

She sat there, paralyzed again, but this time, not with terror. Was it desire?

With wondering awe, a sudden shyness assailed her. She looked away, only to encounter another pair of eyes: deep, bottomless brown ones set in ebony features.

She marveled. Were they angels?

The lady was dressed in a beautiful white dress of shimmering gossamer splendor. The man, equally splendid, was dressed in a tan leather outfit, much like a Roman soldier, complete with a sword strapped at his waist. The lady’s long, wavy blonde hair went all the way to her butt while the man had short, cropped, glossy black hair.

She noted all this as the lady moved towards her and the man, who still had a hold of her hand. She was beautiful.

Weirdly beautiful.

Her blond hair and black skin were contrasting, but it made her look notable. Mesmerizing. The man was Caucasian. They made a striking pair because of the hair and skin contrast.

Nina sat there, spellbound!

The lady opened her mouth to speak. Nina couldn’t grasp what she said. The pounding of the blood beating in her ears was so loud. She saw the lady’s mouth move again. She quelled the beating drum in her ears by sheer force of will so she could hear, but it was impossible. On high adrenaline, she was unfocused, lightheaded.

The man yanked her off the bed. She was shocked out of her fugue state with the suddenness of his action. “What the eff do you think you’re doing?” she sputtered, enraged.

“I knew that would work.” He laughed, then dropped her hand.

There was a sudden sense of loss. She ignored it.

She was unsteady on her feet, but she stood there, resolute, determined not to fall. She was not going to give this jerk the satisfaction of seeing her fall. As gorgeous as he was, he had totally angered her. “What are you?” she blurted out as awe and anger battled it out within.

“We are not a ‘what.’ We are guardian angels.” The female looked offended at the innocent question.

Nina stared at her, waiting for the punchline. “I don’t think angels are real. You must be some kind of super couple.” She was skeptical. Her excuse was that she hadn’t met any angels.

‘Getting rid of a demon horde doesn’t mean they were angels,’ she argued with herself. Being a typical Fijian, she downplayed the reality of the incredible being’s presence.

The woman glared at her, but the man just smiled and held out a hand.

“I’m Brett. This is Shanna. We were sent to protect you…We will stay close but will not crowd you. If you need our help, just call us by name.”

His incredible eyes glowed with a strange white light, then dimmed. She was hypnotized.

Blinking, she came out of the trance when she became aware she was alone. They were there one minute, and the next, gone. To boost her courage, she spoke aloud. “Whoa, that was quite a vivid dream.”

Nina jumped as a voice floated back to her. It was quite loud, like they were still in the room. “That was no dream, and you know it.”

The grouch in it tickled her. It was definitely Shanna.

She jumped back into bed. Pulling the covers up, she muttered to herself, “Big ears don’t hear good of themselves.”

“I heard that,” Shanna shouted back.

“Then close your ears. And go away.” Now, she was mad.

“Done,” Brett’s laughing voice came back to her.

Then, there was silence. The angels had really gone. But it was no longer an oppressive silence.

Just a peaceful one.

This peace was not the normal one. This one was because she knew someone had her back. Or two someones.

Her eyes closed.

Nina woke up at the crack of dawn to catch her train to her job at the hotel on the north side of Sydney Harbor bridge. The trip was more than forty minutes long, so she had to get up earlier in order not to miss the early train. As a room attendant the backbreaking work was hard. She was hoping to find a better job when her application for permanent residency was approved. She could get a more lucrative job when she finished Uni.

She thought she could catch a few winks on the train, but her mind rebelled.

It was too wide awake with the thoughts running through it.

Was the episode with the angels a figment of her imagination?

Could she hope she had help to fight this battle?

Her boss, Mariam was at her desk, when Nina walked into the office to get her room assignment sheet. She was a small woman of around fifty, with a welcoming personality. It amazed people to hear a booming voice sounding from such a petite form. Her flame red hair was always up in a twisted bun on the top of her head. Partway through the day, a pencil or pen got stuck among the curls. It amused Nina to see her searching hopelessly for the item.

Nina loved her.

“Good morning, Nina. You’re early. Go get yourself some breakfast, then come get your list of rooms.”

Mariam already had the inevitable pencil in her hair that early in the morning. Nina smiled. Mariam always made her day. Even if she got off on the wrong side of the bed, on any particular day. Today was one of them. Tired and dispirited after the night she had, all she wanted was to feel the cool comfort of her bed to sleep the whole day away.

But her boss cheered her up, by just being her.

“Not feeling hungry just yet. But I will go have a coffee when I have my list.”

“Okay gal. I’ve given you 8 rooms on floor 2, so when you’ve had your cuppa, you can come collect your cleaning supplies trolley. You look like you need to get some more rest, even though you had the weekend off. Did you do the fliers job on Saturday again?”

The concern on Mariam’s beautiful face made Nina feel like crying. But she pushed the feeling of wretchedness away.

She had run far, but she hadn’t outrun her past.

It had followed her here.

Now all she needed to do, was to learn to fight.

After her shift ended at 3 p.m., she changed into her street clothes, punched out, then went to catch her train. Strolling into the middle car, she chose a seat. The train was pretty much empty. The rush hour hadn’t started yet. It usually did around 4 p.m. onward until after 6 p.m. Glad to have a respite from crowding on the train, she leaned her head back to relax.

Out of nowhere came a prickly feeling.

She was being watched. She shifted to scan the carriage she was in, noting no one else in that section with her, except for the lady in the front seat, who was chatting on her phone.

Subsiding, she closed her eyes. She wasn’t aiming to sleep, just destress. The whoosh of the train soothed her. The low laughter of the lady in front, kept her busy wondering who she was chatting with.

‘The laughter sounds flirty. Probably a man…’, She surmised.

She wished she could be as lighthearted as she.

Then that voice crept into her thoughts.

“Open to me…”

That insidious, raspy voice was back.

She cringed.

Shuddering, she shot up from her seat.

Grabbing her knapsack and handbag, she bolted out of the carriage. She raced up the stairs, to the top deck of the train, tripping in her haste.

She realized her mistake.

She was trapped!

“You are not getting rid of me that easily, my dear.”

Nina felt she was going insane. That evil laughter mocked her attempts to shake him off.

Jumping down the stairs to the lower carriage, she continued running.

“I’m always going to be with you, so you can forget about losing me.”

His deep, whispery laughter resounded in her ears.

The blur of faces in the filled cars, didn’t faze her, as she shot past them. She didn’t care what anyone thought at this stage.

She just needed to get that voice out of her head.

She ran through to the third, then on to the fourth, then came to a panting halt at the last carriage. Her hand went to the emergency door.

She opened the lock, not knowing what she intended. The thought to jump formed in her mind. A hand clamped onto hers. She froze.

It wrenched her fingers from the door, then spun her around.

The two from this morning confronted her.

Brett retained a hard grip on her.

No, she had not imagined them.

They were real.

In a detached part of her mind, Nina noted Shanna’s outfit was the height of fashion. Her Gucci jeans matched with a fawn-colored leather jacket looked splendid. With the way Brett was dressed, it seemed like he had just thrown on what was comfortable, but it didn’t detract from his gorgeousness. His black leather jacket suited his coloring.

They looked even more splendid than ever in daylight.

The song ‘Ebony and Ivory’ played through Nina’s mind.

“What in the name of all that’s holy possessed you to jump out of a moving train? Are you insane?”

Shanna’s incredulous voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

Nina shushed her.

“Don’t you shush me, woman. You could have been grease out there. What’s wrong with you?”

She was standing to the side of Brett, slightly behind him. Her incredulous face mirrored what Nina was feeling at this point. Meanwhile Brett had been quietly studying Nina’s face. He gripped her arm, turned, then pulled her along behind him through the aisle to a seat. Pushing her down, he sat beside her.

“He was in your head again, wasn’t he?”

No quibbles, just straight to the crux of the matter.

Nina liked that.

She was the same.

She nodded.

“How can that be? Why is he in my head now?”

She tried to steady her voice, but it still came out tremulous.

“He knows he’s getting to you, sweetheart. You have to learn to shut him out of your mind. We can’t do that for you. Only you can. We can only negate physical harm to you. You allow who you hear in your mind. It’s your choice.”

In trying to get his point across, Brett had taken her hand into his, had clasped it between his two. Nina supposed he wasn’t aware of how it looked to others.

She glanced Shanna’s way.

She had turned the front seat backwards to face them. Was now sitting across from them. The incredulity on her face, as she looked from their clasped hands, then up at Brett’s face, amused Nina. The wry humor helped to displace the fright she had been feeling.

Awkward, Nina tried pulling her hand away, but he held on tight. Feeling she had to turn the attention away from their clasped hands, she queried in a small voice.

“How do I do that?”

When she had first become aware she could see and hear the dead, she had never been able to block out the voices. They had always been in her head.

There was never any respite from hearing their agony.

Nor from feeling it with them.

There were hardly any happy ghosts.

Now to have the choice to shut that out would be blissful.

“You must close the door of your mind. It takes practice, but you can learn to build a door in your mind.”

Nina was skeptical.

She forbore from pointing out, that in all her 35 years, she had tried everything she could, but to no avail. His next words got her thinking he must have read her mind.

“I will teach you how to do that. You have a wonderful gift you know.”

He definitely had been reading her mind.

“Thanks. Appreciated.”

She didn’t intend to sound ungrateful, but this wasn’t a gift. She hadn’t asked for it.

It was not a gift, but a curse.

She wished it could be returned.

Because of this ‘gift’, a demon had possessed her. She had been too young, too open and vulnerable to fight against his power. Her aunt, Seni, who had the gift of casting out evil spirits had been alive then. She had battled for days with the demon, had finally cast him out. Too weak to fight for her life, she had succumbed to illness brought on by psychological and physical damage caused by the powerful demon that had possessed Nina. She had passed a year later after that.

Nina hadn’t forgiven herself for being the cause of her aunt’s demise.

‘Nope…this gift had been a curse to my family.’

She snapped out of her pensive thoughts when the train stopped at Hornsby Station. The angels stayed with her, walking her to her building.

“We have warded your building against inside attacks. It’s the outside ones we have to worry about now. We will deal with those when they occur. Be strong”

Brett put a hand on her shoulder as he tried to convey reassurance.

At this point it was still hard, and still too new for Nina to trust in anyone. She had lived for a long time with the knowledge she had no one else to rely on, but herself. For now, they had her back. But for how long? That was the million-dollar question.

She nodded, then turned to use her key on the scanner.

As she took a step in, Nina clearly heard Shanna’s voice.

“What the hell are you doing? Humans and angels don’t interact, except when we have to protect them.”

Nina spun around to gape at her.

She couldn’t believe the bitch’s audacity. Or rudeness.

Brett was still standing where she had left him. Shanna stood a few steps behind him.

He raised an inquiring brow at her.

Then she heard his reply clearly.

But his mouth didn’t move.

“Just do your job and stop querying my motives. I’m doing mine.”

Nina was flabbergasted.

She stared, immobile, wondering if her overactive imagination was playing tricks on her, again.

Brett and Shanna stared in puzzlement back at her.

“Are you okay?” Queried Brett as she stood there, irresolute.

Nina came out of her trance.

She shook her head.

Instinctively, she didn’t want them to know she had heard them conversing. She didn’t know why, since they were the good guys.

She just didn’t, period.

“I’m fine. I just thought of something I forgot at work. It’s okay, I’ll call them as soon I get to my room.”

Babbling out her explanations, she back pedaled, turned, then bolted for the stairs. The angels looked perplexed at her odd behavior. But she wasn’t worried about that at the moment.

What she was really worried about was a very real concern.

What would happen if they knew she could hear them on their angelic wavelength?

Would they have to silence her to keep their secret?

Scary thought.