The Beauty Of Rejection

AYSU.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

She looked away from the man speaking to her. Her focus turned to a black butterfly that was struggling to find its place. “I can’t be with you anymore. Day after day it gets tougher to be with someone like you.”

Aysu crossed her arms and with patience that surprised her, she asked, “Someone like me?”

The man lowered his gaze as though ashamed. With a murmur, he replied, “You know what I mean.”

Aysu knew. So did everyone in their pack.

But it seemed the man in front of her was respectful enough to keep certain words to himself.

So, Aysu helped him say the words he couldn’t. She slightly tilted her head after a small nod and said, “You mean someone who is cursed.”

“I…”

Aysu smiled at his hesitation. But at the same time, she found it a little enraging. if she were in her impatient era at that moment, she would have shifted and shredded him into little bits.

But her anger wasn’t that prominent. If she was feeling anything, it would be tiredness. Her soul was tired, so was her wolf.

So, after a deep sigh, Aysu asked the man in front of her a simple question.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I am rejecting our bond, Aysu.”

She returned her gaze to the butterfly that was now quite a distance away from her. “Was that so hard to say?” She loosened her folded arms and travelled her gaze to the loose sands of the ground. “Is that all you want to say?”

The man scoffed and Aysu found it more difficult to be standing there. “Aysu, how can you speak so casually?” He tried to hold her shoulders but she was swift enough to step back. Their eyes met and she saw how her movement broke the man’s soul. With a crack in his deep voice, he asked, “Do you think this is easy? Do you think I wish to reject you?”

“I won’t cry if that’s what you are expecting.” Aysu hardened her jaws. “Why would I?”

“We shared a bond, Aysu,” he almost cried.

“This is the fourteenth time I’ll be hearing that stupid rejection line. Don’t you think it will be dumb of me to be bothered by what you just said?”

His brows knitted to show that he was confused. Seconds later, he showed concern for her. “Aysu, what we shared was too special. Surely, it meant something to you. Surely…” He moved closer but she could not find the strength to move away or even closer to him. She looked away when the gaze in his eyes made to search her eyes for her true emotions. “... you are not fine with being rejected this way.”

“The bonds I shared with thirteen other people were also special. So, stop being a baby and leave before you irritate my soul.”

Mark Coleman, the Beta Wolf Aysu recently bonded with sighed again. But this time, he seemed fed up. “People are right,” he said, “you won’t ever be free from your curse. With this attitude of yours, you will die. No…” His fists formed tightly. “... you deserve to die.”

“Mark Coleman,” Aysu finally looked into his eyes with brazen coldness in hers. She cupped his soft cheek she loved playing with, “I wished myself death a long time ago.” The touch of death in her eyes intensified and her voice became a threat to her ears. “I won’t be surprised if I am already a dead soul.”

“Aysu…”

“Don’t make this hard for yourself, Beta Mark. I know this rejection is not your will. That’s how the curse works.” Her shoulders swayed to the side. “It repels loved ones, and they become unfortunate if they try to be stubborn about the bond.”

“But Aysu-” He tried to hold onto the wrist of the hand cupping his face but she pulled back with a speed he couldn’t catch up with.

“It doesn’t matter if you love me more than the moon loves the earth. My curse will always find a way to ruin things.”

“But I do love you that much. To me, you are supposed to be my one and only true mate. Don’t you think this is unfair to me? Huh?”

“Let me go, Mark,” Aysu whispered into the night, and while the man wished to defy her words for a brief moment, he gave up his words, backed his steps and she began to do the same until she turned and faced the thick forest that bordered the city of the Tarmish Pack.

“I, Mark Coleman, of the Tarmish Pack, reject you, Aysu.”

As she moved, the breeze of the night walked with her and brought that statement into her ears.

The firmness she displayed earlier collapsed faster than a castle-shaped stack of cards.

Then, her lips started to quiver. And no matter how hard she tried to kick them back, tears followed and the next thing she thought to do was to hide them from the universe.

So, she engaged her feet and raced towards the thickness of the forest. She ran until her entire being became one with the wind.

She could have chosen to shift in the process. In fact, she sensed herself trying to communicate with her. But Aysu wished to be selfish.

She was aware that her wolf was suffering a pain far greater than hers. But she was devastated as well and the only way she could temporarily heal was to find a distraction that would benefit her.

But it seemed the distractions chosen were not going to work. Because the more she ran, the more her memories sprang out of the mental box she stuffed them into.

Every rejection she suffered from the moment she became old enough to find a mate started to play in her head.

The sight of those memories soon became a burden for her pounding heart. Her heart immediately carried a weight she could not handle and she was forced to stop running.

‘We have one left,’her wolf, Alora reminded her of the most dangerous part of her memories.

“One more rejection,” Aysu breathed hard. “We have one more rejection.”

After a deep, shuddering breath, Aysu took a look around and wondered if it would be better to die before her curse gets a chance to kill her.

‘I don’t want to die.’

“I want to,” Aysu replied to her wolf, while the back of her hand stopped a sniffle that was trying to escape her. “I want to be free. I can’t do this anymore.” As she spoke, the strength in her voice dimmed. But once her palms spread over her face, she screamed, “I can’t!” Another scream followed and the weight in her heart worsened.

‘Aysu, let me out!’It soon became a battle in Aysu’s soul. The wolf that didn’t wish to die struggled to come out but Aysu’s will to leave the world was strong enough to keep her wolf away.

“Alora…” Aysu’s hands fell to her side and with a lethargic tone, she demanded, “What is the use of hoping? Once the last rejection happens, all we have left is our death.” Aysu’s brows knitted with further dejection, and her entire body started to display the effect of the sorrow inside her. “That’s all we get, Alora. Death. A wicked death.”

‘We will find that person,’Alora tried to be optimistic.

“We have searched for too long. We-”

‘We still have one more chance. We didn’t endure all that pain just to choose deaths like cowards.’

“I am tired, Alora.”

‘I am too, Aysu.’Her wolf carried the greatest sorrow in her silver eyes. ‘I am very tired. But I don’t want to give up. For once, let’s be happy.’

The conversation with her wolf softened her resolve. And while water gathered in a corner of her eyes, Aysu staggered until her buttocks hit the ground. She bit into her lip to contain the swelling in her throat that was trying to transform into tears but that wasn’t enough.

Soon, silent sobs came and she buried her head into her lap while she listened to her wolf hum her favourite tone with the hope that her human would be soothed for a while.

Aysu didn’t wish to think about how terrible her life was anymore, so she closed her eyes and prayed for sleep to find her.

Instead of that, voices she didn’t expect came from a distance.

‘Did you hear? Alpha Ximun was rejected by his mate.’

‘What? Again? Isn’t this the fifteenth time?’

That question forced Aysu to get up. Her senses awakened and she listened to that conversation with the hope that they were talking about the very thing that would save her from the claws of the curse that held her since birth.

‘I think it is that curse,’the first man that spoke had a certain raspiness to his voice, so his words had more intensity attached to their tone.

‘What curse?’

‘The Rejection Curse. Certain people are cursed from birth to never have a true mate. But it’s not that simple.’

‘I think I’ve heard about that. The cursed person will find a mate several times but they will be rejected after a while.’

Hearing the truth of her predicament coming from someone else made Aysu’s chest tighten. But since it was confirmed that the conversation being shared between the men she was yet to see was linked to her, she started to take slow steps towards the only path in that forest. She hoped that she would catch up to them so that they could take her to the Alpha Ximun that was the subject of their conversation.

‘That’s right. That person is cursed to be rejected fifteen times.’

‘What?’The other man was shocked. ‘Does that mean something will happen to Alpha Ximun?’

A heavy breath was heaved. ‘If he doesn’t find a female wolf with the same number of rejects, he will die after a month.’

‘Isn’t that too cruel? What sort of curse is that?’

‘It beats me. Certain people are destined to live an unfortunate life till they die. Alpha Ximun is one of those people.’

‘And I was here thinking that he was dumped so many times because of his rumoured huge dick.’

‘Rumour?’The first man laughed. ‘It is no rumour. That man is gifted with a huge one. If he wasn’t cursed, female wolves would be begging for just a few minutes of mating with him.’

‘That would have been quite terrible for us ordinary people.’

‘Isn’t it good that he is cursed?’

‘It is sad for him, yes. I can’t imagine not having a mate. But for us, the curse is a good thing.’

‘Exactly.’

Aysu could have smeared her lips in disgust at their last words but she had just caught a glimpse of their flowing garments and she ran after them before she could lose sight of their figures.

But no matter how much she ran, she could not catch up with them. She already spent all her energy trying to run away from her reality earlier.

As she ran, a voice kept telling her to give up. But she refused to listen. She wished to meet this Alpha Ximun who supposedly shared the same fate with her.

But she was almost approaching what she could tell was the end of the forest and the start of another city when an arrow flew past her. She saved her cheek from getting grazed but when a force pulled her hair from behind and asked, “Who are you?” she knew that something terrible was about to happen.

AYSU.

“Who are you?” The deep voice that found a way to breathe thick air onto the nape of her neck, was unlike any she heard before. But before she could briefly focus on decoding the potential identity of the man behind her, a sharp swing followed and she felt the deadlines of a dagger being pressed against her neck.

Aysu and her wolf quickly pushed themselves out of the state of quietude. After some stuttering, she replied, “I am Aysu.”

“Aysu what?” he demanded.

“Just Aysu.”

Dead silence followed and her heavy, probably reddened eyeballs moved to check if they would be able to catch a glimpse of the man. But she was just an ordinary werewolf, not an alien in a weird Hollywood movie.

Many seconds passed before the man spoke again.

“What do you seek?” He sure had an unusual way of speaking.

Aysu quickly decided that it would be useless to explain how she was following the voices of two men with the hope that she would find a solution that would remove the knife that had been stuck in her soul since birth.

“I am looking for Alpha Ximun,” she sharply responded.

“Who are you to search for him?”

“I am someone that needs his help.”

“What for?”

The man’s questions were a little off to Aysu. “Do you know Alpha Ximun?” she asked.

“Do you know him?” he returned her question.

“Are you usually this rude?”

“Have you forgotten that I have a blade to your throat?”

“Kill me if you want. I’ll be glad to die.” Aysu meant what she said. “But I will only let you do that after I meet Alpha Ximun.”

Aysu felt his grip loosen but that movement felt like a trap. So, instead of using some of the skills she learnt in self-defence class, she remained in that position and didn’t move until he let go of her hair and walked a few steps away.

Then, she turned so that she could put a face to the deep voice that could have made the forest tremble if it were a wolf in heat.

Once she looked up at the man, Aysu’s burdened heart forgot its worry and skipped a few beats. Her bluish eyes widened when she noticed the grimness that settled on the lips of the man. As though he was a university course she needed to study for, she intensified her focus and saw that his grimness added to his beauty instead of ruining it.

His grey, lengthy hair danced in the air and his loose, silk kimono managed to expose a glimpse of the sturdiness hidden beneath it. Aysu was almost distracted by that alluring sight if her wolf hadn’t urged her to stare into his eyes again. The narrowness of his eyes made it seem as though he was smiling, but there was an innate evil lodged within his green orbs that made her wonder if she should voice the thought that dropped in her mind after the study she just conducted.

Her wolf helped her reach a decision.

So, while they noted the amount of dark aura radiating from the man, Aysu closed her eyes for a few seconds and summoned some strength.

“You are him,” was all that dropped out of her mouth. He tilted his head to the right and the tip of his dagger glistened. Aysu narrowed her eyes and assured herself that there was nothing to be scared of. “You are Alpha Ximun, aren’t you?”

“What if I am?” His voice became more dangerous. “What do you want?”

“Are you him or not? I need to be certain I am speaking to the right person.”

Anger settled in the man’s eyes and he adjusted his position until his towering height was enough to intimidate her. Aysu was still holding on to some of her strength, so his silent threat did not move her.

“Aysu,” she never knew her name could carry so much weight, “go back to where you came from.”

His feet scratched the ground and he walked past her, not sparing her one more glance.

Aysu still wanted to be certain that he was really the man she was looking for. But since he was determined to shield his identity from her, she had no choice.

“I heard that it was your fifteenth rejection,” her voice filled the silent forest. “After a month, you will face death.”

With speed, he spun her to face him. The flared brows he carried on his face were enough confirmation for Aysu, so she decided to make sure she used that moment as a huge advantage.

“Who are you?” he asked, his hands almost crushing the bones of her upper arms.

“I am Aysu. And I just suffered my fourteenth rejection.”

His lips curled with disgust. “You are cursed as well?”

Aysu didn’t have time to waste. “Alpha Ximun, we can save each other.” If it wasn’t likely for him to cut off her hands, she would have reached for his so that he could feel her urgency. “Before a month ends, I can find someone to finalise the fifteenth rejection. Then, we can work something out. We can break the curse.”

Alpha Ximun peeled his hands off her arms. “What makes you think I want to do that?”

Her brows jerked. “You don’t want to be free?”

“How do you expect me to believe you, a stranger?”

“Don’t you get it?” Aysu raised her voice, she didn’t have all the time in the world. “We will both die a gruesome death if we don’t find a way to break the curse together. All you have to do is wait for me to be rejected one more time. By then, we will have the same number of rejections and we can-”

“Coward,” he whispered, his voice a sharper dagger than the blade he pressed to her neck before.

“What?”

“If your fate is to die a gruesome death, face it.” He looked into her eyes and she saw that his fury had multiplied. If he were to act, she could end up dead. “Why are you trying to rope me into that nonsense?”

“Ximun.” Aysu dared to bare his name. “Do you love living under such a cruel fate?”

“What?”

“Do you find it fun to endure the worst pain in the world, rejection after rejection? If you do, I don’t. That’s why I risked my life to be here. That’s why I want to hope that I can be free of the damned curse that bound me right from birth. I-”

Tears filled her eyes, they choked her throat, but that sight didn’t move the man in front of her. “I just want to be normal for once.”

An exhale came from the man. It was loud, almost like a dragon’s breath. Then, he said, “Then die.”

“What?” Aysu couldn’t believe the man. She thought he would be able to relate to her pain. But, no. He was urging her to give in to the very thing that made her miserable for more than half of her life.

“If you wish to be normal, die.” He walked closer, perhaps hoping that she would finally be intimidated. “Do you seriously believe that crap about breaking the curse?”

“I just-

“If it was going to be that easy to break the curse, you wouldn’t be here speaking about trash.”

“Are you saying that the prophecy is wrong?” Her head danced in rebuttal. “I don’t believe your nonsense. I grew up learning that-”

“You grew up listening to what people around you uttered in stupidity.” He sighed and stuffed his dagger into its sheath. “I have no intention to do as you wish, Miss Aysu. So, I will walk away. Make sure we never cross paths. If we do, my blade won’t spare you and neither will my wolf.”

Aysu looked down at the ground. One would think she was cowering, but a look at her pulled fists will be enough to tell that her anger was building up. Even Alora was hyped to come out and make sure the man called Alpha Ximun suffered a cut or two.

When Aysu sensed the man’s feet walking away, she lifted her head and screamed.

“I won’t let you take away my chance to live, Alpha Ximun,” her heavy voice cried. “I don’t want to die!” Slowly, her feet turned until she was staring at the broadness of his back. “I won’t let you go, Alpha Ximun!”

Her threats were thankfully enough to stop the man’s tracks.

For some seconds, he remained in a spot and looked up at the brightness of the moon. Then, he faced her, and the innate evil she sensed earlier filled his eyes in a way that told her that danger was approaching.

But her desire to live was stronger than her fear. So, while tears threatened to display how disarrayed her soul was, Aysu remained in that spot and watched the man take slow strides towards her.

As he moved, he asked, “You want to live?”

“I do,” she replied, her eyes squinting. “More than anything, I want to live.”

“What is so great about living?” His hands gestured to add flavour to his question. His narrowed eyes added a gruesome touch to his words. “How can a cursed fool desire life? You should be preparing for death instead.”

“Trust me, Alpha Ximun,” her chin tilted to show the man that she would continue to stand her ground, “I have wished for death many times.”

“You should have let that wish come true.” He finally reached the place her feet were rooted. After a devious smirk pulled the sides of his lips, his right hand travelled to the base of her neck. “If you had just died,” his grip wrapped her neck, “I wouldn’t be wasting my time like this.”

“I am the only way you can live, Alpha Ximun,” she spat. “Do you truly wish to die?”

“Miss Aysu,” eyes closed, he sniffed the air around her, “you are from the Tarmish Pack, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“Good.”

“Why is that good?”

His eyes opened and her heart knew that something terrorising was about to happen. “It means I will never see you. But,” his grip tightened but the cough she let out didn’t stop him, “before we part ways, I should give you a gift.”

Despite the great discomfort his hold was causing her, Aysu maintained a fiery gaze and said, “You should do us a favour instead.”

He scoffed. “I, Alpha Ximun…”

Aysu’s eyes bulged. “What are you doing?”

“... of the Night Crimson Pack…”

Aysu shivered. That was a rival pack. “A- Alpha Ximun. Wait-”

“... hereby reject you, Aysu of the Tarmish Pack.”

Logically, his words were not meant to have an effect.

But the curse worked in strange ways. Whether she mated or not, once she hears those rejection words, that was it.

So, that meant Alpha Ximun of the Night Crimson Pack had just ripped Aysu off her last chance to achieve a normal life. And since he was the only one that she could break the curse with, his refusal to help further meant that all she could do at that point was to wait for death.

But that fact was not what was in the depths of Aysu’s soul.

It was the feeling of being ripped from her inner self that caused her to fall to the ground after the man let go of her. While his sinister chuckle shifted the atmosphere, Aysu clutched her chest and suffered the pain of feeling her wolf being torn away from her.

That pain was the height of the curse. She had often heard people say that once all fifteen rejections have been filled, for all the days of the month she had to live, she would experience the feeling of her wolf tearing away from her soul.

If that was truly how it was going to be, Aysu wondered if she needed to even stay alive from that moment on.

So, while her soul cried for a means of soothing, her veiny face lifted and she looked towards the feet of the man that just stripped her of her last hope. She wanted to ask him to use his knife to end her ache, but all her mouth could do was scream and cry.

Soon, her entire body blended with the dirt of the floor, and her desire to leave that world became the only thing in her mind until her eyes closed and she slipped into frightening darkness.