The Love Triangle

Morning had come too soon. Looking outside could tell it was going to be a cold dreary day. All of the leaves had fallen off of the trees, it been colder than usual the past few weeks. Winter was coming early this kind of weather made Sophie just want to stay in bed until spring. She knew she would never be able to do that. She had three kids to get up and ready for school.

Sophie looked down at her husband Alex, who was still sleeping peacefully. Alex wasn’t so bad. He had changed a lot in the past few months, mostly in a desperate effort to save their marriage. She admired him for that. She just wasn’t sure if she loved him anymore. At least not the way she used to love him. She felt as though she needed more. She wanted more, things that Alex was unable to give her.

Sophie though back to summer. She met a guy that seemed to have everything. She couldn’t help but think about him. She had dreams of the two of them. Sophie had met this guy at Jewel’s. His name was Zander. He was charming, he had looks, he knew how to charm her, and he had everything Sophie could ever want. They both had felt an instant attraction. It was as though they were destined to be together. Although she knew she would not see him much. She still felt something for him, something that kept haunting her.

Sophie was thirty four. She had been married twice. Her first marriage was short lived. They had nothing in common. Sophie had just wanted to get out of the life she was living with her parents. Two days the marriage was over. Then came Alex, he charmed her, he treated her like a princess, then she married him. Fourteen years and three children later, she wanted out. She wanted more than what Alex was giving her. She wanted to be loved. She wanted to be trusted. She wanted more in life than just the material things Alex kept giving her. She was happy with her home; she knew they were getting a new home. The love wasn’t there anymore.

Sophie was an attractive woman for her age so she thought; she was overweight and looked like she never managed to do her hair. She knew she could get a better man than the one she had. No one ever believed she was thirty four. Everyone she knew had told her she could pass for twenty four. Sophie was a hard worker. She had a good job. She was confident that she could make it on her own. Raising the children alone would not be a financial burden; it would be a mental strain. She was afraid to be alone again.

“Sophie, is everything alright? No. Don’t answer that. I know the answer already. You are thinking about him again.” Alex said startling Sophie. “You will never learn. I asked you to let that man go and work on us. All your bitch ass does anymore is lying to me.”

“Everything is fine. I wish that you would just stop asking me about this, about him. Nothing happened between us. I wrote to him just as I promised I would. The letter even stated that you and I are trying to work things out. I could not break the promise to him about writing. What more do you want from me. As a matter of fact he has not even tried to write or call me, so apparently he did get the hint. He has given up on me.”

“You know I really want to believe you. I really want to believe that he has given up. I just cannot do that not now. Something more happened between the two of you for you to feel the way you do toward him. You two seem way to close from what I see. You don’t just leave your husband for another man out of the blue if there is nothing between the two of you.”

“I already told you I do not want to discuss this with you, not now. Let it go. I have to get the children ready for school.”

“This is not over yet Sophie. You have left you have made me move out twice already. Just so that you could be free to be with him. How convenient, that you do it when you know he is going to be home on leave. Huh, how coincidental he is due home in the next few days. Or have you forgotten? Do you remember? No, wait I get it now, you are just ignoring me for that reason.”

Sophie walked out of the bedroom. Ha ha, dumb ass, the joke is on you. You may think it is over. The question is: Is it really over? Damn men, don’t get it, I just do not love you anymore Alex. I love Zander. How do I tell you? How do I get you to see the big picture? Every time I tell you the truth I end up feeling sorry for you. Then I take you back. You are right. Zander is home for fifteen days. I do plan to talk to him as much as I can. I do plan to see him every chance I get to see him. That just shows how much you know. God, why can’t I tell Alex all of this? Why is it so easy to do when I think about how to tell you? It goes so well when I play it over in my head. Soon, very soon, I will tell you. I will get the nerve to tell you everything. Right now I am keeping it to myself. The timing is just all wrong.

“Mom, what is wrong with you? You are burning our breakfast”, Said Kay Lynne with a worried look on her face.

“Oh shit. I am so sorry I just have a lot on my mind right now. Here just eat this damn cereal and be happy.”

“I don’t have time I am going to miss the bus,” Said Jared.

“Fine, you three walk together. Please, make sure that Heather gets on the right bus this time.”

“We will. See you later mom.”

“Sophie, come here. Now,” Alex yelled.

What now? He may as well just go to sleep. I do not feel like having sex with him, nor do I want him to even touch me. Not now. Not ever for that matter. Well, not him at least. God, Zander why can’t I just forget about you? I know I said we could not talk or even write anymore. I think I made a big mistake there. I will call Jewel and tell her to have Jake call me. Then I can take things from there.

“What? I am not in the mood Alex. Just leave me the hell alone. I have to clean this pig sty of a house, do all the damn laundry, and go to pay a few bills before I have to leave to go to work at two.”

“Why are you doing this to us? We never have sex anymore. Which is what you call it, to me it is making love. But, that is neither here nor there. So do you have an answer for that? Why are you so cold toward me? Why? Tell me. You have seen or talked to him haven’t you? He probably isn’t even in the service is he? You probably are lying to me about that too.”

“No, I have not seen or even talked to him. Yes, he is in the movie scenes. Now will you please just back the hell off? I am so sick of this, of you for that matter. What more can I tell you? Nothing ever happened. Now stop asking me about him. Let it go. If you do not let it go we are both going to end up to a point where we are going to say something we both regret later.”

At that point Sophie walked away from Alex. I do not want to hear this anymore. Alex thinks he is the judge and I am on trial. He is badgering me like I am a criminal. He is beginning to make me feel like a prisoner in my own home. He won’t let me leave the house alone. He won’t let me talk on the phone. He calls me at work to make sure that I am there. Hell the dumb ass thinks he is a warden. What am I going to do?

“Jewel, Alex is driving me fucking nuts. He is acting like he is my warden. He keeps saying he knows Zander is in town. Alex knows I have been talking to Zander. Alex knows I think about Zander constantly, all the time, nonstop. I keep trying to tell Alex that nothing happened, that Zander and I stopped writing, he just does not believe.”

“Sophie, Zander is home. He was over here last night. Josh and I were talking to him. Before Josh got home from helping your sister, Zander was asking about you. He said it hurt him pretty bad when you decided to stay with Alex. Zander also said he was not giving up that easy. He would wait for you as long as it takes for you to wake up and see the light. Zander also made it clear that he would be there for you when you need someone to pick up the pieces when Alex messes up again, and you know damn well he will. Matter of fact Zander said for you to call him. He goes back to California on December second. Of course he has to go back to finish working on the movie he has been working on. He has been here for a week already.”

“Wait so you are telling me that he still cares about me even after all I put him through. I really am not over him; he is always on my mind. Maybe, just maybe I should have just stuck it out the first time I left Alex. Man, talk about regrets, I have an ass load of them. I have so many regrets. Although I have to admit that Alex did stop drinking like I asked him to do in order to save our marriage. But, what is that? It does not make up for all the hell he has put me through. I love him, but, I am just not in love with him. I just cannot stand him anymore. Are you sure Zander still wants me to call him?”

“That is what he told us. Whether or not you call him is your decision. I cannot tell you what to do. You have to make your own decisions. You have to do what is best for you. I know how Zander feels about you. He does care about you, and he said he may even love you. He tells me everything. Zander and I are just about as close as you and I are.”

“Damn you Jewel. Okay, go ahead give me Zanders number. I will call him after Alex goes to work tonight or while Alex is asleep. I want to make sure I have enough time to talk to him and not have to worry about any interruptions. Then I can just have Zander call me back at midnight. I cannot lie I do want to talk to him as much as I can before he has to go back.”

“Here is the number; it is to his mom’s house, 555-9073. Call me later and let me know how it goes.”