The One That Got Away

“Delilah. DELILAH!”

I stirred awake thanks to my mum, who was shaking my shoulder. I could see it was dark outside and the digital clock on my desk showed exactly 10:00 pm.

“What mum?” I asked into my pillow, turning on the other side so I could shield myself away from the light coming from the hallway.

She turned the light on and I yelled, fully covering myself up with the blanket.

“Get up! Sam is here, you’re leaving for New York in four hours, remember?”

“Shit, yeah. Ugh, fuck.”

“Watch your mouth! And go take a shower!”

I sighed as I got out of bed, grabbing the clothes I had set out for the trip. I felt excitement bubbling in my stomach, and I was eager to finally get going, even if that meant leaving Sam behind.

“What’s the date today?” I asked as I went to the bathroom to take a shower and prepare myself.

“It’s September 9th. Your deadline is the 11th, so you’re good. Now go princess, don’t want to be late! I’ll keep Sam a bit of company in the living room.”

And with that she turned away, leaving me alone in my room.

Of course you do I managed to take a shower and put makeup on in 26 minutes before I stuffed my Minnie Mouse Niall won for me two years ago in the backpack.

I stared at the wall, wondering what Niall was doing at the same moment. I’d gotten over him a long time ago before I got with Sam and fell in love with him.

Despite my relationship status, I sometimes found myself thinking about what Niall was doing or thinking at that moment. I still had his red jacket he gave me when I last saw him and the piercing always reminded me of him.

I pulled on a New York black sweatshirt over my plain bra and grabbed the backpack from the desk, ready to go.

As I emerged down the stairs, I could hear my mum using her seductive voice, probably trying to lure my boyfriend with her breast implants.

“Mum, I’m right here please go to bed. With my dad, you know, your husband for like, twenty years.”

She turned to me embarrassed, buttoning the three top buttons of her already revealing nightgown.

Thank god she never met Niall Not that Niall can compare to Sam Sam’s better, cuter, hotter, not Niall, smarter, funnier “Well good luck to you princess and call me as soon as you get there! Remember the credit card we talked about? We’re going to send you a monthly amount of $200 but you should find a job, okay? Your dad may also go for work in America a few times, so maybe you’re going to meet up. But be good and don’t ditch your classes, okay?”

I nodded and she smiled.

I’d chosen to sign myself up for literature major (I wrote a couple of songs here and there) and dancing as the extra option, just like Katherine, who took up psychology instead of literature.

“Bye mum. We going, babe?” I asked turning to Sam who was leaning against the door with his car keys in hand.

He nodded and greeted my mother before we both exited the door and he offered to carry my luggage.

The car ride was filled with chatter (mostly on his part, he went on and on about how he was going to miss me) and lasted about an hour before he finally pulled out in front of the airport.

“Bye babe,” he said and leaned over the console.

“Wait, aren’t you going to wait with me?” I asked.

“I’m sleepy. I’m not going to wait three hours for a plane.” he smiled. “But I love you, so if you need anything, just call me.”

“Are we-are we going to break up now?”

“We can try long distance if you want. Plus, you can visit during the holidays, right?”

“Right,” I said looking anywhere but his face.

He pressed a kiss to my lips and I slipped my tongue into his mouth. We snogged for a couple of minutes until the safety belt dug painfully into my bladder.

“Face Time me when you got settled in your dorm?” he asked smiling, revealing his pearly smile.

“Sure.”

“See you, babe.”

“See you,” I said and got out of the car, before going to retrieve my luggage from the trunk. I got one of those carts where I put all my boxes and suitcases so I would push them around easier.

After I did whatever had to be done, I went and got some Starbucks, before I called Katherine.

“Hey bitch!” she greeted, too joyful for my taste.

“Hi Katherine, um, so are you still going to pick me up from the airport?”

“Yeah, babe! Ricky and I were just about to go out, but we’ll be there around four right?”

“Yes. Time zones and all that.”

“Do you want me to get you anything? Like coffee or something?”

“Just Skittles.”

“Weird, but okay. I’m so excited!”

Then I heard Ricky making some weird noise and the line went dead.

I sighed and plopped myself down on one of the seats near the gate. I was extremely happy to finally start a new life and possible future on a whole other continent.

It’s going to be amazing A few hours later, I was sitting between an old crinkly lady and a guy who smelled like tacos on my way to New York.

Even the accents from the people were exciting.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts, we’re about to land at JFK, New York.”

Everyone clapped once we landed and I could practically smell the American air.

I’m an idiot but who the fuck cares “I HOPPED OFF THE PLANE AT JFK WITH MY DREAMS AND MY CARDIGAN WELCOME IN THE LAND OF FAME EXCESS, WHOA AM I GONNA FIT IN? JUMPED IN THE CA-” I started singing as I made my way towards the bus.

“Shut the fuck up!” someone yelled as the doors open and okay.

My smile was spread across my face as I walked into the airport, looking for two familiar faces holding up a sign with my name on it.

I immediately spotted Katherine and Ricky (they weren’t hard to distinguish from the normal people that weren’t jumping around and waving and yelling).

I smiled and waved, walking towards them. I also saw someone oddly familiar with warm, hazel eyes and brown hair pulled in a small quiff. Katherine squealed and hugged me before Ricky followed her actions. He was taller and slightly muscular.

“OH MY GOD! You grew like…a foot!” she said pushing me a-way so she could look at me.

“Actually, just two inches but whatever.”

“Oh, oh! This is James!” she said looking at the familiar guy. “James this is my cousin Rey. James’s Ricky’s roommate at NYAA. James’s there to be a musician, he plays the drums.”

Katherine wriggled her eyebrows at me, and I wanted to slap her across the face because this was so embarrassing.

“I’m sorry, but, you seem really familiar,” I said turning to James, trying to ease the tension.

“That’s what I was going to say, actually,” James spoke and oh, yes, I definitely know him from somewhere.

“Wait. Weren’t you in that exchange thing with my sister two years ago? You know, when you had to stay at our house for a week and vice versa?”

“Oh yeah! The Thornes! I remember now.”

How could I forget the kind face and oh my god I walked in on him naked in the bathroom once.

He must’ve noticed my red cheeks because he smiled and Katherine shot us both a suspicious look. Then she changed the subject, telling me that she had a cab waiting and that all she really wanted to do was to get back to bed.

Then it dawned on me that it was actually 4 am in New York and I had to call my mum. I tried not to stare at James’s muscles bulging through his thin long-sleeved shirt as he managed to carry half of my bags; Ricky was carrying the other half.

I called my mum who was emotional and used the cab as an excuse to hang up on her. Katherine then put an arm around my shoulder and widely smiled at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Sooo? You like James?” she said and I made a face.

“What? Are you crazy? I have a boyfriend.”

“Wh-what? Who? When? How? What?” she stuttered, genuinely surprised and confused.

“Sam? Tattoos, brown eyes, hot?”

“Ooooh…was he the guy I puked on at your 18th birthday?”

“Yeah,” I said and she bit her lip.

“Oh, I remember him. Your mum’s all over him.”

“I know.”

“And how long have you guys been dating?”

“Two years this December.”

“Two fucking years?” she yelled. “Whoa.”

“What about you and Ricky?” I asked as the guys loaded the luggage in the trunk of the yellow cab.

“Um, two years a week ago.”

“Wow. I would’ve never expected that.”

“Neither did we,” she said and shot Ricky a disgusting fond look.

We finally piled up in the cab, James in the front and the rest of us in the back.

“So where do you go to Uni?” I asked Ricky.

“At New York Academy of Arts.”

“And you’re a dancer?”

He nodded. “But that’s an extra activity. I’m studying to become an actor.”

“So when do you dance?”

“At a dancing club with Kitty.”

“And you’ll also join us, right? I already told Tyler a LOT about you.” Katherine butted in from the other side of the car.

“Yeah, sure.”

“What classes did you sign up for?”

“Um, Literature, French, Music, and Drama. But I’m studying to get a dancing degree.”

Then Katherine informed me that she also wanted to get a dancing degree and that she took up Literature too, but she was a junior.

The University was huge, and I had nervous butterflies in my stomach. There was barely anyone on campus since it was so early in the morning. The building was gigantic, made out of red brick. It had a huge campus from what I could see, and quite a lot of buildings behind it, which I could only assume were the dorms.

“So does this also have frat house-“

“Frat houses? Yeah. Alpha Beta Pi, Omega Xi, Sigma Delta Zeta, and the best, Theta Delta Chi. I’m actually in a sorority, Sigma Kappa. We’re actually partners with Theta Delta Chi.”

“So that’s why Theta Something is the best,” I said smiling as we walked towards the entrance of the building, so I could check in.

“No, actually, TDC has the hottest guys on campus,” she said and hooked her arm around mine.

“Yeah?” I asked uninterestedly.

Long story short, the secretary gave me my room key and room number, before she gave me a schedule for all my classes and the map of the Uni.

“Rush week is also going to be next week, in case you’re interested, and feel free to join any clubs,” she added.

Ricky and James then excused themselves, saying that they really wanted to go back to their dorm and sleep. Katherine pecked Ricky and he smiled before they waved and exited the building.

“I’ll show you to your room!” Katherine said and struggled with my suitcases while I struggled with my boxes.

We eventually managed to exit the building and walk towards the dorms. We took the elevator to the fifth floor, where my room was.

“Okay, this is it. 521.”

I knocked with my foot and after a couple of tries; a blonde girl in pajamas opened the door.

“May I help you?” she asked and Katherine and I shared a look.

“Yeah, um, I’m your roommate? Rey. I would’ve used the key or shaken your hand, but I can’t.”

“Let me help you then!” she offered and took a couple of boxes from my arms, inviting us in.

The room was definitely smaller than my room at home. And it had no personal bathroom? Whoa.

The room had a big window, with two identical desks against it. The one on the right was occupied, whereas the one on the left was empty. There were two bunk beds and two closets.

“I’m Amy. Amy Jones.”

“Rey. I mean, Renee Parker but people call me Rey.”

“Cool,” she said smiling and I knew we would be getting along just fine.

“Well I’m going to go now, I’m really tired. I’m Katherine by the way, Rey’s cousin.”

“I know, you’re Soph’s roommate at SK.”

“Yeah, yeah! You know her?”

“She’s Ryan’s cousin.”

“Fuck, I forgot. Anyway, I really got to go. See you later? We can go fetch some Starbucks? And I can show you around if you want. James can tag along.” she said winking, before she left, probably forgetting that I had a boyfriend and that I was NOT interested in James.

“So you’re a freshman too?”

“Sophomore. I’m studying to become a psychologist.”

“Ah. Cool.”

“You?”

“Dancing.”

“I’d love to chat, but my eyes are going to close any second now.”

“Um, sure! But, where’s the bathroom? I kind of need to wash my hands before I can collapse onto the bed.”

“Right down the hall, last on the right.”

“Cheers.”

“Cheers. I like that.” was all she said before she climbed back on the bed.

I made my way out of the room and quickly peed and washed my hands at the bathroom before I came back.

I didn’t even bother to undress, I just took off my Vans and beanie, before I climbed up on the bed and face-planted the pillow.

***

Three days and a finally gone jetlag later, I was ready to go explore the ‘activities fair’ that has been going on for a week on campus.

Amy and Katherine offered to come with me, but as it turned out, James and Ricky also joined us, and the Ryan guy-who was from England-tagged along too.

“Where’s your roommate?” Katherine asked, slinging an arm around Ryan’s shoulder after I introduced myself.

“The usual. Got mortal last night because today’s his birthday, won’t get up until noon so he can get the house ready, before getting mortal again. I think he shagged your roommate last night but I couldn’t tell. Was a bit drunk myself.”

“Wait, today’s his birthday?” Katherine asked looking at Ricky. “Oh shit, it’s the 13th! Shit. I should message him or something.”

Ricky shrugged and Katherine pulled her arm away. I saw Amy looking at Ryan weirdly, so I thought I’d ask.

“What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” she asked as she picked up a flyer from the science club, pretending to look through it.

“I mean, you’re looking at Ryan with a look on your face.”

“Oh yeah. I have a crush on him,” she said nonchalantly, flipping through the flyer before she threw it away.

“So why don’t you do something about it?”

“I don’t think he’d really go for it.”

“Why not?”

“Because he would never like me.”

“Why not?”

“I’m fat? And he and his roommate always call me whale. Well, only his roommate but Ryan’s guilty through association.”

I frowned, feeling nothing but compassion for her. I knew what it was like to get picked on because of my weight.

“You’re beautiful and funny, and Ryan and his asshole of a room-mate can fuck off, okay?”

She smiled, and then made a joke about cows so it all went back to normal.

“Oh, here’s our dance club! Sign yourself up Rey!” Katherine said as we passed a stand that wasn’t occupied by anyone.

“But, there’s no one here.”

“That’s because I’m supposed to take care of it, shit.”

I rolled my eyes and wrote my name on it, and I noticed that it was quite popular, since I barely had room left to write my name.

“A lot of people want to take up dancing classes. They think it’s just some free workout thing. We have serious gigs all over New York and we even get paid, so.” Katherine shrugged, sitting back in her foldout chair.

“Do you guys want to get some coffee? There’s a Starbucks right around the corner?” James suggested, turning to Amy, Ryan, and I. Ricky decided to join Katherine on haunting for new dancers-and by ‘joining’ I mean suck on her face.

“Sure.” I shrugged and James smiled, his eyes crinkling up really cute. He looked like a hot puppy if puppies could even be considered as ‘hot’.

“So what do you do, James Thorne?” I asked as we walked down the crowded street. Amy and Ryan were walking behind us, and I could actually hear them having a conversation about a party that was going down tonight.

“I’m in a band. I’m the drummer.”

“A band? What’s it called?”

“Overload.”

“Overload?”

He nodded. “With three other mates.”

“Who?”

“Um, Zayn, his brother Jake and N-shit.”

“What?”

“We passed the shop,” he said seriously and I started laughing, even though it wasn’t that funny.

When we got to Starbucks, a huge queue was already lined up.

“Well fuck.” I said crossing my arms. “We’re going to wait here the whole day.”

“Not necessarily. I work here part-time during the week. But today’s Sunday so.”

I nodded and he pulled out his Starbucks card before he managed to get at the front and wave it in front of the girls’ face.

She blushed and nodded before she took our orders-two ice teas, a frappe, and a latte.

“What are you two talking about?” James asked once we settled outside at a table for four.

“About the party tonight,” Amy said sipping on her latte.

“Oh yeah, you should come.”

“Me?” I asked since everyone was apparently looking at me.

“Yes! It’s going to be great! And you can finally meet everyone.”

“Yeah. The birthday boy, Soph, Zayn, Jake.” Ryan said.

“Okay? How should I dress?”

“Well it’s a frat party…so show as much skin as possible.” James joked, but then got all serious. “I mean, not that-you shouldn’t-don’t-whatever feels comfortable.”

“Got it.” I smiled. His stuttering was so cute. “So where can I get a job?”

“You can’t.” they all said at once.

“What? Why?”

“It’s pretty hard to get a job in the city.”

“So how come you guys work?” I asked.

“I don’t.” Ryan shrugged.

I looked at Amy questioningly.

“I’m a phone sex operator,” she said and no one even flinched.

“A what?”

“You know, you have phone sex with strangers, get paid ten bucks a minute. Easy money, I can work whenever.”

“Whoa. Okay? Wow.”

“Don’t worry love, you’ll find a job,” James said reassuringly wrapping a strong arm around my shoulder.

I couldn’t help but lean into him. To my defense, he smelled like apples and vanilla and he was warm and kind.

***

“Is this good?” I asked Amy a few hours later when we were getting ready for the party.

“What? Sorry?” she asked from her seat in front of the computer.

“Is this good?” I repeated, holding out my choice of clothing.

“Sure! You’ll look great.”

“What about you? Aren’t you getting dressed?”

“Just one more minute, I’m just checking Twitter.”

“Oh, okay.”

I put on my suspender skirt and the Superman crop top. My belly button piercing was on show, and I still couldn’t believe how I managed to keep it hidden from my mum for two years.

I had also gotten a tattoo in Arabic, which said ‘your name’. It was inspired by Ed Sheeran’s song, so when people would ask me what it meant, I’d say ‘your name’. It seemed cool at that time and I was a bit drunk.

“Okay, you ready?” Amy asked as I finished applying mascara.

“Yep,” I said closing the tube and putting it on the bed.

“We’re going to meet up with Katherine at her sorority, is that okay?” I asked as we made our way towards the elevator.

“Yeah, yeah. I like Soph anyway…so are you going to be the one in charge tonight?”

“What?”

“The one in charge? As in, the person that’s going to get half of us home when we’re piss drunk. Or wait, I think we can crash at the frat house.”

“Um, I don’t really drink. And I’m not even legal in the states.”

“Who is? Wait, the birthday boy turns 21 today so he’s going to be legal. Not that it stopped him before.”

“And he’s also the one that makes fun of your weight?”

“Yeah, but I know he wants me,” she said gesturing to her body; making some grinding movements that made me chuckle. “Who doesn’t? I’m just joking, I’m not that shallow.”

“I know.”

“So do you have a boyfriend back home? Or girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Boyfriend.”

“Cool. I’m kind of a no strings attached person,” she informed me, even though I didn’t ask.

“So is this frat house far away?”

“No, just around the corner of that street. Two blocks away from our dorms. Three-minute walk. Actually kind of convenient when you’re drunk.”

When we got to the end of the street, we could either go to the right or the left.

“The left is sorority, right is frat.”

“So left it is.”

She nodded and I suddenly got nervous as I looked back at the street occupied by the frat houses. I could hear the music from here, and it wasn’t hard to spot the TDC house, the front yard was full of people.

My first college party holy shit “REEYYYY!” Katherine yelled and there she was, dressed in a really short dress and a heart crop top. Next to her was a girl dressed slightly less revealing, with dyed blonde hair and blue eyes-from what I could see thanks to the streetlights.

The sorority house was also made out of red brick, just like the Uni and the dorms.

“This is Sigma Kappa, my sorority. And this is Soph, my sister and roommate.”

The girl smiled and shook my hand. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

“Let’s goo!” Katherine said pointing to TDC and I frowned confused because she seemed drunk.

“She had a few drinks before,” Soph whispered to me as we walked before she made a funny drunk gesture, and okay, I like her.

We got to the frat house in less than a minute. It was bigger than the other sorority houses but made out of the same red bricks. A big banner with the Greek letters was draped over a balcony.

“THIS, my dear cousin, is Theta Delta Chi. I’d tell you who the president is, but it’s his birthday and I think you know him quite well.” she winked but I brushed it off.

We saw Ricky and James in the doorway, talking with red cups in their hands. Ricky saw us and waved us over, before James turned to us too, smiling.

“Hey, babe!” Ricky yelled kissing Katherine’s cheek. “And you’re drunk.”

“Tips.” she corrected him, pulling the cup out of his hand. “Let’s go inside and congratulate the birthday boy! He’s going to get some birthday sex tonight, am I right?”

She shot Soph an exaggerated wink, before she stepped into the house, making us follow her.

Every single inch was packed with people between the ages of 18 and 25. A big banner was hung in the kitchen that had a big bar, saying ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY DICK!’. The work DICK was scribbled with graffiti over the actual name of the guy, which started with N, M, or H.

“I’m going to go find him! Probably playing beer pong or something. Here, have this.” Katherine yelled over the music and handed me her almost empty cup.

“I’m going to make sure she doesn’t get raped by someone,” Ricky said seriously before he disappeared after his girlfriend.

“Well I’d stay here and chat, but I’m gonna go and get myself a drink. Soda for you?” Amy asked and I nodded.

“So whose birthday is it?”

“It’s-“

“Rey?”

I turned around at a familiar deep voice.

“Chris?”

“HIIII!” he yelled throwing his naked tattooed arms in the air.

He’s drunk “Haven’t seen you since summer ’13! Your boobs are bigger!”

“And you’re gay!” came another voice and soon enough, Louis made an appearance.

He changed too. Got skinnier, had a beard and floppy hair that made him look cute.

“So you guys are finally together?” I asked and Chris smiled, nodding.

He was weird because, despite all his tattoos and piercings, he was a cupcake.

“Engaged, actually,” Louis said and Chris held his right hand up to reveal a ring.

“Wow, okay? Congratulations! Since when?”

“A week,” Louis said before Chris just jumped on him and started snogging him.

Wait a minute, weren’t they in California? Why are they here?

I couldn’t ask them that, since their mouths were a bit busy.

“Okay, that’s hot.”

I turned to James, who was now smiling down at me.

I know…wait what? Is James gay too?

“Are you…?”

“Bisexual.”

“Oh.”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, of course not!” I said quickly.

Amy returned shortly, handing me my Dr. Pepper and drinking from her cup.

“Wanna go in the living room? They’re playing a mean game of beer pong there.”

“Sure.”

We followed her into the living room, but we couldn’t reach the table so we decided to go and sit on the couch with Katherine and Ricky, who were not making out.

James politely asked the two girls snogging to let us sit, and they surprisingly obeyed, so I sat down, with Amy next to me.

“Leeyum!” someone yelled and soon enough, a guy with black hair and a lot of tattoos appeared next to James, with a cup in his hand. His hair was disheveled and his lips were wet.

“This is Zayn,” James explained and Zayn eyed me curiously.

“Hi.” I waved and Zayn waved back, slurring a greeting. Everyone was already drunk, except for James and I, or so it seemed.

“Leyum, we gon’ smoke some weed later, don’t go anywhere. And keep your pretty lady too.” Zayn said, spitting out the last words. I could swear he pinched James’s bum before he whispered something into his ear-I heard the word ‘fuck you hard’-, but I didn’t look into it.

“Have a pretzel.” James offered awkwardly, handing me a bowl of salty pretzels that was settled on the coffee table.

A cheer then erupted from the beer pong table and that’s when Liam suddenly disappeared into the crowd.

“Fuck yeah!” someone loudly yelled, followed by another round of cheers, and I swear to God, I knew that voice.

The next minutes passed extremely slow, everyone was dancing with their cups over their heads and Katherine and Ricky were half undressed next to me.

“I’m going to look for some weed.” Amy then said, getting up from the couch.

“Whoa, easy there you fuckin’ whale.” a voice said and she flip-ped that someone off, before she walked off, revealing the person whose voice sounded really familiar.

“Get a fucking room! You-“

I looked up and my pretzel got stuck in my throat.

Because in front of me stood Niall.

We stared at each other for a couple of seconds. My eyes were roaming shamelessly all over his body, trying to detect any new changes since I had last seen him.

But there were no changes. He looked just like I remembered: chicken legs, blue eyes, and the signature smirk.

So I decided to break the silence:

“Hi.”

“Uh, hi,” he replied.

So he’s the guy that teases Amy, and has a lot of sex and gets drunk and the president of the fraternity “Wha-what are you doing here?” he asked, voice low and husky, coming closer so I would hear him more clearly. I could already smell him, that familiar smell of cigarettes and cologne.

“I’m uh, a freshman.”

“Since when?”

“Since four days ago,” I replied and he was suddenly in front of me, his jean-covered legs touching my naked knees. The top of his Vans bumped against my shoes and I stared at that for a moment.

He had an eyebrow piercing and a lip ring, just like I remembered.

“Happy birthday,” I said and got up because it started getting really awkward with me looking up at him, and besides, my neck was going numb.

I reached up to his nose thanks to my wedges, which meant that I would reach his chin when I wasn’t wearing any heels. It was progress; I could clearly remember that two years ago I only reached his shoulders.

“You’re taller,” he observed and I gulped because our chests were almost touching. “And your boobs are bigger.”

“Happy birthday,” I repeated, feeling hot under his intimidating stare.

“You said that already.”

“Don’t know what else to say, to be honest. Didn’t think you’d remember me.”

He smirked and dug his hands in the pocket of his jeans. I wondered if he wasn’t hot with the black letterman jacket on.

“How can I forget someone who looked up ‘how to give a blow-job’ online?” he joked and I blushed.

“And you still blush, after all this time. Still innocent?” he asked, and I got the feeling that he meant something else.

Is he asking if I’m still a virgin?

“Not really,” I replied, hoping that he wouldn’t notice my voice shaking.

“No?” he asked surprised, his eyebrows rising.

I shook my head.

“Got a boyfriend,” I told him. I didn’t know why I felt the need to tell him that, maybe to somehow prove that I was over him and that I definitely did not care about the fact that he was fucking Katherine’s roommate or anyone else for that matter.

Before he could say anything else, a really sad and disappointed Amy appeared.

“Operation ‘finding weed’ was a failure-oh.”

She looked between Niall and me, her eyes silently asking for an explanation as to why we were standing so close it seemed natural.

“I’ll just go,” she said and turned around, getting lost in the crowd again.

“Forgot you had this,” Niall spoke once she was gone, softly pulling on my stomach piercing. His fingertips touched my naked skin and I felt goosebumps rising.

God, please make him not notice that “Mhm. My mum still doesn’t know.”

He grinned, before Soph appeared out of nowhere, putting her arm around his waist. I tried not to frown or make a face.

“Hey babe, people want to play Never Have I Ever. Or any game that involves drinking, really.”

“Um, yeah. Just a sec,” he muttered, pulling away, and she smiled, disappearing once again.

“So, you and her,” I stated, even though I intended for it to sound like a careless question.

“No, we’re not-no. Just fucking. That’s it. You know I don’t do girl-friends.”

I didn’t reply to his statement. It was so weird, yet somehow comfortable seeing him again.

“Hey, Rey! We’re about to play some drinking in the game room, you comin’? Oh hey mate, happy birthday bro!” James yelled coming next to Niall with a red cup in one hand, an unopened Dr. Pepper in the other.

“Thanks, mate,” Niall said, looking at me, then at James.

“This is Rey, Kitty’s cousin.” James continued and Niall nodded.

“Yeah, I know her.”

“How?” James asked, sipping from his cup. I took the Dr. Pepper from his hand so I could open it.

“We used to-we spent the summer together in 2013.”

I felt a bit bad about the fact that Niall didn’t tell James we were together, but then again, we were only ‘official’ for like, 4 weeks?

“Great…so you coming?”

“Yeah.” I nodded and stepped away from Niall, following James. I could feel Niall behind me, staring at the back of my neck.

A couple cut James’s way towards the game room because they rushed up the stairs, which caused James to abruptly stop, which caused me to stop too, and Niall to suddenly gripped into my hips.

And I did not feel like my whole body was on fire, because I had a boyfriend and that would be stupid.

I didn’t want to admit it, but since I left my grandmother’s house, I didn’t have that feeling of safety I had whenever Niall was around.

Now that feeling was back. It was stupid, but I felt like if I ever needed help, Niall would be there to protect me from stuff.

Stupid “Careful,” he whispered in my ear and I coughed, following James further, until we finally got to the game room, where a big circle was already formed. I sat down between Katherine and James, across from Soph, Niall, and Zayn. There were ten more people in the circle that I didn’t know, besides Zayn, Chris, Louis, and someone also familiar.

Jake Kennedy, holy fuck-wait, he’s Zayn’s brother? Oh my god While someone I didn’t know filled our cups, I caught Zayn’s gaze. He had a look on his face mixed with jealousy and hatred. Did I do something?

I leaned over to James to whisper in his ear:

“Why does Zayn hate me? Did I do something?”

James’s hand settled on my knee as he whispered back:

“He’s just drunk babe. A jealous, angry drunk.”

Jealous of who exactly?

“Oh, okay.”

He didn’t pull back his hand, and I didn’t mind because it was warm on my skin and I was a bit cold anyway. Besides, James smelled incredibly nice, and his fingers were drawing circles into my skin.

Niall’s eyes fell on James’s hand, before he ran a hand through his hair, taking his lip ring between his teeth.

“Everyone knows this game right?” Soph asked and everyone nodded, saying ‘yes’ or ‘fuck yeah’.

“I’ll start then,” the girl next to James said. “Never have I ever gotten head by someone in this room.”

Everyone drank, including me.

“Never have I ever been in a relationship longer than a year.” the next girl said and Katherine, Ricky, Chris, Louis, and I drank.

Niall frowned and I shied away from his stare.

He doesn’t really care, does he?

“Never Have I Ever been in love with someone in this room,” Ryan said.

I tapped my fingers against James’s hand that was still on my knee, looking if Niall was going to drink. If he was, I was going to do it too. If not, then so be it.

I felt disappointed that he didn’t drink, but then again, he never said I love you back, so.

Ricky, Katherine, James, Zayn, Louis, and Chris drank before it was Soph’s turn.

“Never have I ever…had sex with someone in this room.”

Everyone except me drank, and now I could definitely feel Niall’s eyes on me.

Stop staring for fuck’s sake you’re making me uncomfortable It was his turn, and he thought about his confession for a moment, before he said:

“Never have I ever had sex.”

People groaned and everyone took a sip. Including me.

I could feel dark blue eyes fixated on my face, but I didn’t dare look into them, because I knew that if he would properly look at me, he’d knew I was lying my ass off.

Yes, I was still a virgin, but they didn’t need to know that. I mean, Sam and I did a lot of things, just not sex. Blowjobs, handjobs, all kinds of oral sex, except for the actual sex.

“Oooh, little cousin why didn’t you tell me? I knew that Sam guy was a dirty little hottie.” Katherine told me, maybe a bit too loud for my taste.

Everyone was looking at me now, making me really uncomfortable, and causing me to blush.

“Um, I didn’t think it was that important.”

“Of course it is! You’re not a virgin anymore! That’s huge! Cheers! For my cousin losing her virginity!” she yelled holding her cup up and everyone followed, cheering.

I knew that they were just excited for another excuse to drink. My cheeks were on fire and Niall was now making out with Soph.

“Looks like the game is over,” James said and I looked up at him.

“That was really embarrassing.”

“Get used to it. It’s college.” he kindly smiled and tapped my knee twice, before he removed his hand.

“Do you want to dance?” I asked suddenly, surprising not only James but also myself. “I mean, sorry, I didn’t-“

“Yeah sure,” he said and kindly smiled before he pulled me up with him and we made our way out of the room. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to the dance floor because the moment we left the room, a girl with pink hair threw up all over his shoes.

I made a disgusted face but James acted really calm, much calmer than I would’ve imagined. He patiently got out of his converse (they were white, goddammit) and threw in the nearest trashcan, before he hoisted the girl up in his arms (she passed out on the floor).

“I’m just going to get her to bed. Can you find a bottle of water and bring it upstairs?”

I nodded, impressed by his kindness and patience.

Is there anyone better than him on this planet? I don’t think so I managed to make my way to the bar in the kitchen before I asked the guy who was in charge of the bar for a bottle of water.

He handed it to me and I made my way upstairs, hoping to head the way James went a few minutes ago.

“James?” I yelled, hoping I wouldn’t have to go through every room until I found him. I wasn’t in the mood to walk in on couples having sex.

A door was opened on the right hallway, and James waved me over. I passed by two couples basically dry humping against the wall. I shut the door behind myself before I handed James the water bottle.

“Whose room is this?”

“Zayn’s. He shares it with his brother.”

“And won’t he mind?” I asked as I watched James help her drink water before he settled her back down on the bed.

“I don’t think so. He’ll go home with someone anyway.”

“Is his brother Jake Kennedy?” I asked, just to make sure.

He nodded and I smiled.

“The gay pornstar,” James added and I blushed.

We left the girl to sleep on the bed before James turned off the light and we exited the room. People were starting to clear out and I looked at the clock to see that it was already 2 am.

“I think we’re on duty tonight,” he said and I looked at him confused as we walked down the stairs.

“Duty?”

“Yeah, basically we have to make sure everyone is asleep, but not in their own puke. I’m usually the one on duty because I don’t really like to drink.”

“Now you have me,” I said and he smiled, nodding.

“I’ll take upstairs, you take downstairs?” he suggested and I nodded before we split up. I turned off the music played from Niall’s iPhone (I recognized the scratch at the top of the screen) and turned around to scan the living room.

Amy and Ryan were asleep on the couch, Jake was half hanging from the coffee table, loudly snoring and Louis and Chris were cuddled up on one of the armchairs. I could see Chris was sleeping, his head hanging off the armrest, and Louis playing on his phone, almost falling asleep. I brought them a blanket and Louis shot me a thankful look before he closed his eyes and dozed off.

Some frat boys were asleep on the bar and the island counter, so I didn’t bother them.

The game room was a whole other story. The same girl couple that had been making out on the couch earlier was now still making out, and Soph was alone, passed out in a corner with her mouth open.

I sighed and struggled to pull her up and put her arm around my shoulder so I could get her to the armchair and drop her there.

Where’s Niall?

After I checked all the rooms downstairs, I made my way upstairs. James was just coming out of a room with four empty bottles of beer.

“Don’t go in there. Smells like puke,” he warned smiling and told me that he was going downstairs to store the bottles away.

“Where’s a bathroom?” I asked and he pointed to a door.

I thanked him and walked towards it before I opened it. My jaw fell to the floor when I saw what was going on in there.

The moment I opened the door, Zayn pulled Niall in for a kiss, and Niall continued it, probably not noticing that I was there.

“Um,” I said and they pulled apart, looking at me like a deer in the headlights.

That was NOT hot I do NOT want to see it again Zayn didn’t say anything to his defense; he just hurried out the door, almost bumping shoulders with me. Niall wiped his lips with the back of his hand and stared at me.

“So…okay? It’s not really my business, but last time I checked you liked girls?”

“I do, trust me,” he said, his eyes drifting to my cleavage, before coming back up to my face.

“Zayn likes James,” Niall explained, leaning against the sink and crossing his arms.

I fully entered the bathroom and closed the door, before I sat down on the toilet lid.

“Zayn is gay? I swear to god, this place is full of gay people.”

Niall chuckled. “No. I mean, he’s a Muslim so his religion doesn’t really accept, you know, homosexuality. Well, no religion does but that’s beside the point. He’s not really gay.”

“So he’s bisexual.”

“More like Jamessexual.”

“What?”

“We’re in a band. College band.”

“I know. James told me.”

He rolled his eyes but continued. “Anyway, he likes girls as much as I do, but there’s something about James that makes Zayn weak. I don’t know, that’s how he explained it. They fucked once when they were drunk, a few months ago, and now James doesn’t really like Zayn like that, they’re pals, but Zayn does, even if he won’t admit it. And he kisses me sometimes, to get James out of his head, I don’t know. I don’t mind as long as he keeps it clean.”

“So you’re just helping him out?”

He nodded before a smirk spread out on his face.

“You’re welcome to watch next time,” he said and I smiled because I kind of missed his cocky and perverted remarks.

He pushed himself off the sink and rolled his sleeves up, before rolling them down again. I raised a brow but didn’t say anything.

“If you’re not sleepy, will you help me clean up the house?”

“Um, sure?”

“It’s weird being sober.”

We ran into James downstairs, who was already done with the cleaning.

“Thanks, mate. Do you mind if I sleep in your room tonight? Ryan’s out on the couch and Kitty has his bed.”

Niall shrugged and looked around as James told me goodnight then disappeared up the stairs.

“He cleaned. I can’t believe it,” he said to himself, before plopping down on the armrest of Soph’s armchair.

“He’s hot and kind,” I spoke, also to myself, but he heard.

“So you like him eh?”

“What? No. I have a boyfriend.” I said. I would rather see James with Zayn, so.

“And how was it?” he asked.

“How was what?”

“How was your first time? With him? Or was it someone else? I’m not judging.”

“It was good,” I said, suddenly finding the floor interesting.

“Good?” he repeated amused.

“Very good.”

His fingers were playing with the hem of my skirt and I picked at my nail polish. He then got up and stepped right into my personal bubble.

“So is his dick bigger than mine?” he asked like it was the most normal question in the entire world.

My heart started beating faster because he had no right to be so hot and so close to me at the same time.

“Um? I don’t-“

“I know you remember my cock, Renee. Right?” he whispered, his hands trailing up and down my thighs, over my skirt.

“I do, but it’s not-I don’t like to do comparisons.”

“I’m sure,” he said and I took a step back, trying to set a safe distance between us.

“Even though I don’t like you like that anymore, I wouldn’t mind fucking you, you know. That was one thing I didn’t get to do two years ago.”

I don’t care that he just said he doesn’t LIKE like me anymore and I’m not horny at all “I…I have a boyfriend.” was the only reasonable excuse I could find at the moment.

He softly pulled me in by my suspenders, and now our chests were definitely touching.

“And where is he now, hmm?”

“Um, I don’t know. In England.” I whispered, my words dying at the end when I realized that it was probably just a rhetorical question.

“Now tell me the truth…are you a virgin or not?”

“Uh…yes.”

“So you’re still a virgin?”

I nodded, biting my lip, feeling my cheeks burning.

“And how long have you and that guy been together?”

“Two years. Almost.”

“Two years and he didn’t fuck you?” he laughed, letting go of me.

“Shut up.”

“I just don’t know what’s wrong with him. If you were my girlfriend, I’d fuck you every day, in every way possible.”

My stomach felt empty and I was definitely turned on now.

“You don’t…you don’t do girlfriends,” I said and noticed that he had me cornered against a wall.

“But I do girls.” he lowly spoke, placing his hands on each side of my head on the wall. “And you used to be my girl.”

“We were together for like, a month.” I reasoned and his eyes fell to my lips.

“And we probably did more things than you and that idiot did in two years, am I right?”

“He’s not an idiot,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Do you love him?”

“Yes,” I said automatically.

He pushed himself off the wall, digging his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“Goodnight.”

“Wait. Where can I sleep?”

“Are you staying in the dorms or are you pledging?”

“Dorms.”

He smiled. “Of course. I can drive you there.”

“Um-can’t I sleep here? And didn’t you drink tonight”

“If you like sleeping on the floor. I had a few beers, I’m okay.”

“Where will you sleep?”

“Gonna cuddle with James, obviously,” he said sarcastically, but then turned serious.

“I don’t know.”

“You can sleep in Amy’s bed if you want. I mean-you know.”

“Yeah. Okay. I guess.”

“I want to cuddle with James.” I pouted as he grabbed his keys from the hanger.

“No, you don’t.”

“He has great biceps.”

“And I got a bigger dick so.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” I said and he stopped on his way to the door, turning around.

“And how would you know?”

“I walked in on him once, long story. Pun intended.”

He snorted and put his snapback on, before he opened the door for me, sarcastically motioning a ‘ladies first’ gesture.

“You still have this car?” I said excitedly when I saw the black Range Rover.

“Same model, but different car. Steering wheel is on the left.”

“Oh.”

We got in the car and he turned the engine on, and then adjusted the mirror.

“Déjà vu,” I said and he smiled at me through the mirror.

“So how have you been?” I continued as he pulled out of the driveway.

He shrugged. “My mum gave birth in March. Her name is Lilly; she’s 18 months old. Oh, and remember that woman, Ann? The one that took my virginity and I used to fuck?”

I nodded.

“She’s engaged to my dad now and they have a four-year-old kid.”

“What?”

“They fucked behind me mum’s back when I was sixteen. That was the main reason they got a divorce. Then she moved to New York, and so did my dad. Then she found out she was pregnant, ha.”

“And are you okay?”

He shrugged.

“Found out when I came to Uni. I used to stay at my dad’s house but then joined TDC.”

“Aren’t you mad at your dad?”

“No. It’s weird, you know, seeing him with her, he doesn’t even know she used to have my dick in her mouth.”

I bit my lip.

“I need to get my driver's license,” I said to avoid awkward silence.

“What? You can’t drive?” he asked disbelievingly.

“Not really.”

“I can teach you if you want.”

“Really? How?”

“I taught you to swim, I think I can teach you how to drive babe.”

He remembers Babe “Thanks, I guess. But don’t blame me if I crash your car.”

He nodded, turning the radio up, but we were already in front of my building. He parked in front of it before we both got out. The elevator ride was silent, and so was the walk to my dorm room.

“521? That was my room at my mum’s wedding, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I said, memories of that night suddenly coming back.

I turned on the light and he followed me into the room.

“The bathroom’s down the hallway.”

“Yeah, I know. Been here before. I think fucked your neighbors.”

“You’re horrible,” I said as I grabbed my bathroom stuff.

“Where are you going?”

“Um, to the bathroom? Duh.”

He sat down at my desk and started looking through my books.

“Actually, um, can you come with me? I’m kind of-I don’t like walking alone at night.”

“What about when I’m not here?”

“I’m always going with Amy.”

“Amy?”

“My roommate. The girl you call whale. I don’t know if you remember, but I used to have an eating disorder, and people used to pick on me all the time. So I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t call her that.” I said crossing my arms as he stood up.

He took off his varsity jacket with the letters BU on it before he placed it on Amy’s bed.

“Okay.” he agreed and I turned around so I could leave the room.

He accompanied me to the bathroom and waited outside, going through his phone as I brushed my teeth and took my makeup off.

“Here,” I said giving him my spare toothbrush so he would brush his teeth too.

“Thanks.”

It didn’t take him longer than five minutes, so we were back in the room soon enough.

“So where are the boys’ dorms?”

“Same building. They don’t really separate us, but they have a bathroom on the other side of the hall.”

I quickly eyed his wrists as he ran his hand through his hair, and I felt sadness rushing through my body when I saw red lines there. The smiley tattoo he got when I was still with him was also sliced open.

“You promised, you know,” I said pointing to his wrist.

He didn’t comment and I asked him to turn around so I could change. I changed into my sweatpants and tank top quickly, before I told him it was safe to turn around.

“So no Mickey Mouse pajamas?” he asked, pulling his shirt over his head.

“No. It was a phase.”

“Do you still like The Notebook?” he asked.

“Do you still like Justin Bieber?” I shot back and he closed his mouth. “Thought so.”

I grabbed my Minnie Mouse from my bag and climbed up on my bed, falling into the sheets.

“You still have that?” he asked turning the light off.

“Yeah.”

Well I may or may not have slept with it every night for the past two years I heard him push his jeans down before he climbed up on Amy’s bed and pulled the blanket over him.

It was silent for a moment, and I found it weird how only a couple of hours ago I saw him after two years, and now he’s in the same room as me.

It just feels natural or maybe it’s just me “So what are majoring in?” he asked.

“Dancing major. Or degree, whatever. You?”

“Music minor, sports major. I play soccer. Wouldn’t have gotten in if it weren’t for soccer. ”

“Oh.”

“And what classes did you sign up for?”

“Literature, Music, Drama, and French.”

“I got Lit and Music too. We’re going to have the same Lit prof.”

“Mr. Grey? I saw his name on my schedule.”

“Mhm.”

I stared at the ceiling before I closed my eyes and turned to the wall, so Niall wouldn’t see my face first thing when he wakes up.

“Goodnight,” I said shuffling more under my blanket because it was fucking cold lately.

“Oh…and Rey?”

“What now?”

“I saw you in the mirror when you were changing, by the way.”

“You’re a dick.”

I heard him mutter ‘nice little body’ and I may or may not have fallen asleep with a smile on my face.

***

The next two weeks passed by too quickly. I was busy with the preparation for my first year in college. I only saw Amy and Kathe-rine for a whole two weeks, and I was okay with that, to be honest.

It was Monday, October 5th, and I was ready to start my new classes. I had Literature at 9, then French at 11, and Drama from 12. Then I had a dance club meeting from 3 to 5.

“I’m so excited!” I told Amy as we both headed towards our common Lit lecture. Freshmen and sophomore classes were held together since one teacher quit and the other one retired.

“Me too! There’s a new teacher, you know, Mr. Grey, and I hear he’s real eye candy.”

“Really?”

“He’s 28 and single.” Amy continued before she opened the door to the classroom for me.

“Whoa,” she said looking at the lecture hall in front of us. “I guess they transferred us to a lecture hall since freshmen and sophomores are going to be in the same class. Cool.”

We sat down in the first row, setting our laptops on the desk. I didn’t really want to sit in the first row, but Amy pursued me by saying that we would get a perfect view of the professor.

Five minutes later, Niall, Zayn, and Ryan entered the hall.

He was wearing an NYC sweatshirt and jeans. His hair was blonde and piercings were gone. I could tell by the way his hair stood, so disheveled, and by his glazy eyes that he was hungover as fuck.

He waved at me and I nodded in acknowledgment before I said ‘hi’ back to Ryan, who was polite enough to greet us. Zayn didn’t say anything, he just laid his head on the table and closed his eyes.

They sat down behind us and I felt a tug on the hoodie of my red hoodie.

“Nice jacket,” Niall said when I turned around to face him.

He leaned back and smirked. I looked down at my jacket before I realized that it was actually his red jacket, the one he gave me at the airport the last time I saw him before I left for London.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I forgot to give it back–”

“Keep it. Looks better on you anyway.”

I smiled at him and saw Amy winking at me.

“Hey,” Niall said to Amy and she raised her eyebrows. “And listen, I’m sorry about all the um, insults. Won’t happen again.”

“Did you hit your head Harris?” she joked and I laughed.

“Thank you.” I mouthed to Niall and he winked.

“And since when do you come to classes? Don’t you have nerds that do your homework for you?”

“Figured I’d come and see why everyone’s freaking out over the new professor. And coach said I need at least a C average to be on the team so.”

Before he could say anything else, the door opened once again and everyone in the room settled. The man closed the door behind him and walked to the desk before he set the briefcase on the table. He was wearing a grey suit and matching tie. His jawline looked like it could cut paper and his eyes were blue mixed with grey.

“Hello.” was the first thing he said and I swear I could hear girls sigh and squeak.

“Is this a fucking joke?” Niall muttered and Ryan agreed.

“I’m going to be your World Literature professor this year. My name is Sebastian Grey, but you can call me Mr. Grey.”

He turned to the whiteboard and wrote Sebastian Grey on it.

“Check that ass.” Amy breathed next to me and I snorted, which caused Mr. Grey to turn around. I bit my lip and tried to act innocent.

“I’m going to call your names now, although I doubt I’ll memorize them easily, there are 50 of you and just one of me.”

He started reading the names out loud, one by one, looking at each student individually.

“Renee Delilah Parker?” Mr. Grey’s voice echoed throughout the hall and I raised my hand.

“Here, sir.”

He stared at me before a smile curled onto his face and he looked back down at the list, continuing with the names.

“Now, since it’s the first lesson of the year, I’ll make an exception. You can ask me questions about anything, and I’ll answer them truthfully. But before we can get to that, I’d like to tell you my rules. No speaking, no drinking, no eating during class. You can ask questions, but only if you raise your hand. Don’t talk if you’re not asked and if I give you homework, do it.”

 “Wow, talk about being strict,” Amy whispered and I chuckled, trying to hide it with the back of my hand.

“Alright, you can ask questions now.” Mr. Grey said and sat down on his desk, one leg hanging off his desk.

He nodded towards a girl in the back.

“Are you single, Mr. Grey?”

“Yes.”

He then pointed at Amy, who smiled. I could tell she was about to ask something really stupid or perverted. Or both, probably.

“Are you gay, Mr. Grey?”

“No, I am not,” he said seriously.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Would you ever date a student?”

Pure silence settled throughout the room and Mr. Grey said before he locked eyes with me.

“That’s illegal.”

I averted my eyes from him, feeling intimidated under his stare.

“What do you look for in a girl? I mean woman?”

“Smart, beautiful, and funny,” he said, and once again, we locked eyes. “Brown eyes, lovely smile, and…innocent.”

“What the fuck.” Niall mumbled and Amy leaned in close to me.

“He was totally describing you, Rey.”

I pretended to be busy with the corner of my MacBook.

“Class dismissed.” Mr. Grey said before he sat up from the desk and circled it. “See you tomorrow. All of you.”

Everyone stood up and suddenly chatter filled the hall. Once all five of us were out of the room, Amy said:

“I think Mr. Grey likes you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Brown eyes, lovely smile? Innocent? I’m telling you, Rey, the professor likes you.”

“I think he’s a pervert,” Niall said as he walked next to me.

“Look who’s talking,” I said crossing my arms.

“I’m just saying. He wants to fuck you and that’s it.”

“Whatever. It’s not going to happen.”

I ignored the look of disbelief Amy gave me as we walked out of the building.

“We got soccer practice at two and then at six today,” Niall told Zayn before he patted him on the back.

“Gotcha mate.”

“I gotta run to Spanish, see you later.”

And with that, he jogged away.

“Wanna go get some ice cream? I don’t have any classes until twelve?” Amy asked and I nodded. Ryan and Zayn shrugged, so we made our way to the first ice cream place we could find.

After we got our orders and sat down in a booth, Amy asked me, almost bursting out:

“Did something happen between you and Niall?”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I mean, at the party two weeks ago, you and Niall were so close, it seemed natural. So I thought maybe you knew him before? You seemed comfortable around each other and I was just wondering. Besides, he seemed a bit jealous and angry about the way Mr. Grey looked at you.”

“Okay, first, Mr. Grey did not look at me, okay? And second, we had a meaningless fling two years ago. I went to spend the summer with my grandparents and Katherine. He was there are we…I don’t know. Had some fun I guess. But then I left after summer was over and we haven’t seen each other ever since.”

“It’s like fate,” Amy said smiling and I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not really fate. Just a big coincidence. I mean I told him already that I was going to apply here, and his dad is in New York too. And his friends.”

“Were you his only girlfriend?” Ryan pointed his spoon at me.

“What?”

“Because he got drunk once, the day I moved in his room because my dorm was on fire, and he told me that he actually had a girlfriend for a short time and that he was really sad when she left him.”

“Technically I didn’t leave him, at least not on purpose. I had to.”

“Whatever, I think he’s over it. I mean, he fucks a different girl almost every night. Sophie more often than usual.”

“Do you think he likes Soph?” Amy asked surprised.

“I don’t think he likes likes her, I just think he likes fucking her.”

“Well, I’m 100% sure she likes him. She told me-wait. No. Actually, I think she told me she liked James. I don’t really remember. I was drunk. Niall…James…same thing.”

“I don’t think James likes her,” Zayn spoke for the first time since we sat down to eat.

“Why not?”

“She’s not his type.”

“I think James likes you,” Ryan said and Amy nodded.

“Well, I don’t like him, so.” I quickly defended myself when I saw Zayn’s eyes piercing into me. “But he’s very kind, a real gentleman.”

“Probably a good fuck.” Amy said and I saw Zayn biting down on his spoon on accident.

“Well I have a boyfriend, so let’s drop the subject.”

“So? This is college! Live a little. He’s back in England! What happens in college stays in college!” Ryan said and Amy fist bumped him, totally agreeing.

“Okay, discussion over,” I said, taking another spoonful of chocolate ice cream to my mouth. “I love him and that’s that.”

“Who are you trying to convince?” Amy asked before she started a new topic about a University soccer championship coming up.

Who am I trying to convince? I mean, I love Sam.

Right?