The Perfect Mate

I stood there just like everyone else watching the Alpha as he spoke. I couldn’t help the smile that came over my lips as I perused him. The Alpha was a beautiful man. From his brawny arms to his red hair and his beautiful blue eyes—it didn’t matter that I couldn’t see them from where I stood. I could recognize this man in my sleep if need be.

I couldn’t lie and say that I wasn’t curious about what he had gathered the entire pack to say. It had been a while since that had happened. Actually, the only time it had happened was after he had been crowned Alpha. But I wasn’t too worried about that for the moment. The only thing that was going through my mind was how absolutely handsome he was. The Alpha didn’t tell me a lot, so I wasn’t really miffed about the fact that he had not told me about this gathering even though we had been together that very morning. I brushed the idea off and continued smiling up at him, even though he could not see me.

The smile faltered a little when I saw the long-legged brunette standing next to him. She was beautiful, and she wasn’t someone I had ever seen in the pack. I tried to brush it off and convince myself that, as usual, I was being insecure and overthinking. But there was too much to the picture. She was staring at him with so much love in her eyes, and his hand was wrapped around her waist possessively. God, I couldn’t cry in front of all these people.

His next words made me confirm that what I was thinking was the truth. “Everybody! I know you’re wondering why we’re here together today as a pack. Well, I am here to announce something that we’ve all been waiting for, for a very long time!”

I swallowed. My mind was going through the most, trying to convince myself that it wasn’t what I thought, no matter how obvious the scene was. It was probably a pack association. But why would he present her to the pack? Maybe because the pack was very important. Then why was he smiling so hard? Association with her pack was very important, and it made him happy.

I shook my head. Why was I trying so hard to convince myself of the inevitable? Playing all these scenarios in my head was just going to hurt me. There was no point doing that. The sooner I accepted that the Alpha was about to give me one of the biggest betrayals of my life, the faster I would be out of there and in my house so I could cry with no interruptions. And not in front of people who didn’t make it a secret that they hated me.

Cory… Alpha Cory would tell me if he found his mate though, right? He wasn’t that heartless. He was one of the few people in this pack who did not have hurting me as a priority. So he would tell me this beforehand so that I could avoid embarrassment… right?

“I found my mate, everyone! This is Gail, my mate and your new Luna!”

Wrong.

Cheers broke out in the crowd, but I was unable to make any movement. I was so shocked I couldn’t move an inch. I wasn’t even thinking of the backlash in that moment. I knew I was going to be the bitter one yet again, the mateless slut who wasn’t happy about her Alpha getting a mate because she wanted him all to herself. But I was unable to make any coherent thoughts at that point. I was going through so many feelings. Shocked… weak… silent… beat down. I didn’t even think I could move my hand.

I was brought out of my reverie by the whispers around me. I looked around, and I wasn’t surprised by the venom people were throwing at me. My relationship—if I could call it that—with Alpha Cory was not a secret. And it wasn’t surprising that nobody in the pack approved of it. I was an outcast. I wasn’t deserving enough to touch their amazing prince. So now that he had found his mate, they would be able to spit openly at me.

“She’s such a slut. She’s still staring at him.”

“Didn’t you know she had no shame?

Slut.

That was their favorite word to use. A word they thought described me perfectly well. I didn’t think I would ever get used to hearing it, no matter how many times they had screamed it in my ears. Slut. For entertaining a consensual relationship with an adult man. Slut for being born.

I held my head high and turned around. I didn’t have to push people to pass. It seemed like each of them had been waiting to see my reaction. They gave me passage as I walked back to my home, the whispers not stopping. I knew that if it weren’t completely forbidden by pack law, they would have already pounced on me like hungry wolves.

I chuckled at my own description and attracted even weirder looks. They didn’t know what that chuckle hid. They didn’t know that my high shoulders and haughty nose were a protection stopping me from crying. I couldn’t break my mask and my pride in front of them. My father had brought me up way better than that. Never was I to show my weakness to my enemy.

When I reached my small apartment, I got in, closed the door behind me and cried, letting out the ugliest sobs I had ever let out in my entire life. I cried until I fell asleep, drowned by an alternative that was not much better than my reality.

Next day...

I went over the Alpha’s quarters as soon as I could. I had been standing in front of his office for over thirty minutes, trying to convince Karlson, his Beta, that the only thing I wanted to do was talk and not cause a rift between the Alpha and his newly found Luna. I did not know how to feel knowing that he had such a terrible opinion of me.

“You’re wasting your own time,” Karlson said with a tone that meant he wasn’t going to back down. I swallowed and took in a deep breath.

I had been trying to convince Karlson to let me go in with no success. I wasn’t going to lie. I was on the verge of crying. If he said one more hurtful thing, I was probably going to burst out in tears and run away—the reaction he wanted anyways. I was trying my best to be as strong as I possibly could though. One of my mottos was not to ever let these people see my weaknesses.

“Please, Karlson, I won’t—” I started, but Karlson’s loud shout interrupted me.

“That’s Beta Karlson to you, you dumb slut!”

I stared at him, wide-eyed in shock. It had been obvious he had never liked me. But for the most part, throughout my entire relationship with Cory, Karlson had been cordial. It seemed he had been looking for what would make him pour out all his dislike for me. And now that our new Luna was around, he had seen the perfect opportunity.

“I’m sorry, Beta,” I said a little meekly. “You can stand watch at the door if you want. The only thing I want to do with him is talk to him.”

The last part was said with a bitter smile. Did he really think I was that kind of person? The entire pack knew Cory had a new Luna. There was no way on earth that I would advance towards him. First of all, I wasn’t that kind of person. And the mate bond was a little too sacred to me for me to disrespect it like that.

“Let me tell you one thing, Denise. Whatever you are going into that office to achieve, you won’t. The mating ceremony is already in the works and Cory will soon mark our Luna. The only thing I need is for you not to be a thorn in their flesh. That’s why I’m letting you in. Get your fucking closure, leave, and never come back! Understood?” he bellowed.

I nodded, then I walked into Cory’s office with a lump in my throat. I had never aspired to be Luna. I knew it was futile. But damn, hearing all these things about myself—things I didn’t know either—thrown into my face was really hurtful. I tried to swallow the lump, though, and I got into Cory’s lair with a brave smile on my face.

Cory was on the phone when I entered without knocking, and his eyes shuttered immediately.

“Parker. Let me call you back. My 1 PM is here,” he said, then he dropped the phone into its cradle carefully.

“Denise. What do you want?” was all he said. I had never heard Cory speak so coolly to me. I widened my eyes a little, but I didn’t let that disturb me.

“Hello to you too, Cory,” I said with a wry smile. I never expected him to welcome me with a hug and a kiss to the forehead, but damn, a little more warmth would be nice..

“You can play these games with someone else and under different circumstances. Tell me what you’re here for.”

Ouch. That one hurt. Cory was speaking to me exactly how everyone else in the pack spoke to me. Not that I expected him to give me special treatment, but he was one of the only people in the pack who actually respected me. So to hear him talk to me like that really hurt.

But I wasn’t here to analyze what hurt and what didn’t. I pushed my reaction far away and turned towards the window.

“I had thought I would get a little bit of warning, you know. Not a sprung-up announcement like the whole pack got,” I said, then I turned towards him with a very fake smile on my face.

If anyone had told me last week that Alpha Cory would hurt me, I would have put up a vehement refusal. Look at me now.

“It was very sudden,” was all he said.

Sudden.

I wanted to ask him for more. I wanted to reach behind his desk and shake him, ask him why it was so easy for everyone to hurt me and move on with their lives, ask him why I was always an afterthought. But I knew none of those questions would ever be answered. Instead, I knew it in my spirit that he was going to ask Karlson to send me out, and I was going to be humiliated once again.

“Denise, you know how finding your mate gets. You know how exhilarating it can be and how much you want to scream to the rooftops that you have found your mate. I couldn’t stop myself from telling the entire pack that I had found her. And honestly, I have no regrets. I wouldn’t do it any differently if I were to redo it.”

No apology. No trying to understand my feelings. Nope. The tears. I had held them in so much that I was sure I wasn’t going to be able to do it much longer.

“I understand,” I said, blinking rapidly. I needed to get out of her. “Goodbye, Alpha. Thank you for receiving me.”

As I made to leave, the door opened, and Alpha Cory’s perfect mate stepped in. She was the true definition of a Luna. Beautiful, confident, nice. I had heard lots of nice things about her.

“Oh, hello,” she said with what looked like a genuine smile on her face. “Karlson told me there was no one in here.”

There was curiosity on her face, and I knew instantly that she knew who I was and that Karlson had not told her anything about there being no one here. But I pretended I believed her and forced a smile on my face.

“Hello, I’m Gail,” she said, advancing towards me.

“Denise.” I couldn’t see the look on Cory’s face, but I knew he was glad to have avoided the awkwardness that would have resulted in him introducing us.

Introducing your ex-lover to your mate? Having them in the same room was awkward enough. Gail came towards me, and as it was customary for wolves, we sniffed each other on the neck then stepped away from each other. I knew she could smell her mate on me and some perverse part of me hoped it drove her crazy.

With that fake smile still on my face, I said, “I will leave now so I don’t interrupt your moment any further. Thank you again for receiving me, Alpha. It was nice meeting you, Luna.”

“Hope we get to talk more some other time,” she responded with a smile that was just as fake as mine. There was a possessive arm wrapped around Cory’s midriff, and he looked just as uncomfortable as the atmosphere in the room felt. I didn’t envy whatever discussion she was about to have with him.

She’s not pure. Something was whispering to me, but I ignored it. I was too focused on leaving the room and getting to my cocoon of an apartment, so I could cry without facing judgment or ridicule from anyone. I reached my apartment, and the feeling of being worthless enveloped me until I cried myself into a dreamless and restless sleep...

Two weeks.

Two weeks since I had witnessed one of the most hurtful and disrespectful scenes I had ever experienced in my life. Two weeks since I was scorned. Ha-ha. Scorned. Could I even use that term? Cory had found his legitimate mate, and he was with her now. Our tryst was now a thing of the past, and I would have to move on from him, whether I liked it or not. Plus, one thing I could admit was that Cory had never promised me anything. And I had never expected anything from him. Because I knew that sooner or later, he would find his mate, and all of this would stop.

The only thing I was angry about was how little he considered me. I wasn’t asking him to tell me that he had found his mate over a candlelit dinner with roses and scented candles. Definitely not. Anything else would have been fine. Even a text! Okay, maybe not a text, but he could have contacted me. And I would have understood because I had never given myself fully to him because of that.

Gail was in our lives now, and there was nothing I could do to change it. Everyone loved her. The way they treated her was a stark contrast with how I was treated. There was no doubt that they loved her. Everyone loved her, except me, but that was beside the point. Sometimes, I felt like they were acting that way in front of me to increase the scorn. I had never been approached by other girls my age so we could form a bond. Nope. Hatred it had been from my early years.

It was weird when I thought about why they hated me. My father had cheated on his mate with my mom. A drunken mistake. Something that should never have been. The product of sex between a full human and a full werewolf. It was no wonder that they felt like I had done the same thing to the Alpha. Even though when we started seeing each other, he had not yet found his mate. And it didn’t matter that it was Cory who had approached me and not the other way round. I was the daughter of a “whore,” so I was a whore as well.

From I don’t know where, a new determination filled my spirit. I wasn’t going to let these people ruin the little that I had going on for me. This was no way to live, holed up in my apartment like some hobo. It was hard because nobody here loved or respected me, but I had to keep doing the things I loved. I was going to wake up, shower, and go to the library even though I knew that no one was going to show up.

But it didn’t matter. Cory had found his mate, and that was good for him. Under all the resentment about not knowing first, I was happy for him. And I was happy that his mate seemed to share his feelings for him. It was a good thing. But now, I needed to stop acting like my world had come to an end. Sure, the daze of hate I had been drowning in had increased. Plus, he didn’t owe me anything. Hating him was not going to do any good to anybody. And hating his mate was even more useless.

I was alive, though. And I had some moments of peace—the ones I spent in the library. And I was not going to let anybody take that away from me. They had already taken a lot, but that was one thing I was going to hold on to for as long as I lived...hopefully.

***

It was a beautiful day if I was being honest. It was much too beautiful for me to sit holed up in my apartment or the library. And there was no way I was going to go to a restaurant or a cafe. I was feeling too rested to give myself that kind of stress. It wasn’t that I had never been to a restaurant or a cafe in this town. But it was so rare, and it had mostly been when my father was still alive. At least then the moments spent with him took away every other negative. Now that I was alone? No thanks. I would rather lock myself up in my apartment and read my stories or practice my baking.

It wasn’t a day for practicing baking or reading any stories, though. The birds were chirping, the sky was clear, and the woods were literally calling my name. If my dad were alive, he would have dragged me out and chastised me for not leaving home enough. But since he was no longer here, I was just going to have to go on this walk and imagine he was standing next to me. Imagine that he was watching over me just like he had promised before he died.

I had not walked long, and I was hoping that it would be completely peaceful. I had no desire to see anyone, especially not anyone that was going to break this peaceful mood I had going on. I had decided not to let resentment control me, and I was aiming at making that resolution last.

It seemed as though life did not like me very much, though. The first people that I encountered as I was walking was Alpha Cory and his beautiful mate, Gail. I groaned internally and fought the urge to close my eyes in frustration. Couldn’t I get a little bit of peace? Why did the universe like to put these types of obstacles on my way?

I cursed the fact that I was not a full-blooded wolf. Because if I was, catching their scents would have been easy work for me, and I would have been able to avoid them. I mean, I had been in these woods so many times that I knew all the routes necessary for escape. It would have been child’s play to me. But no, here I was, facing one of the most awkward situations in my life because my nose could not work like functioning wolf’s nose.

“Denise,” the Alpha said coolly, in that deep voice of his.

I pasted a fake smile on my face before answering. “Hello, Alpha,” I said, then I turned slightly towards Gail, “and Luna.”

I bowed slightly to both of them before straightening and catching Gail’s gaze. There was something in it, something malicious. But it disappeared so quickly that I thought I imagined it. I shook my head and hoped that the encounter would not be long, and I would be able to resume my walk peacefully.

“You’re the girl from Cory’s office,” she said cheerfully, a little too cheerfully for my liking. It was giving off fake energy. I shivered a little.

“Yes, Luna,” I said. I knew my smile was already strained. But I couldn’t even help it. I wanted to get out of there. I didn’t want to be in their presence anymore because the thin hold I had on peace was already slipping.

“You’re all alone? This is such a beautiful day. I would have thought everyone would have the idea my mate and I had,” she said, shooting a loving look at Cory. I almost gagged watching them. “Don’t you have anyone in your life?”

It was at that instant that I realized that our meeting was not a coincidence. This girl was an Alpha’s daughter, and her mate was an Alpha. There was no way they had not gotten my scent. A wry smile played around my lips. I knew where this was going. And there was no way I could avoid it without coming off as disrespectful.

“I did until a short while ago. He found his mate though, so I’m all alone again,” I said, deciding to play the petty card. There was no doubt in my mind that something devious was running around in her mind, and her smile confirmed it.

“That’s sad,” she said, feigning a sympathetic expression. “But maybe he’s way happier now because he’s with the person the moon goddess designed for him.” Then she placed an arm on Cory’s forearm and smiled a catty smile.

Something told me she wanted me to say one thing out of line. But I wasn’t going to give in to the urge.

“Gail…” Cory warned. But his mate paid him no mind.

“And your mate? Where is he?”

“Gail, stop this,” Cory warned again.

I shook my head with a gutted expression on my face. She knew exactly what she was doing. And she had seen that talking about her happiness with her mate was doing nothing to me, so she decided to attack on another front. “Dead,” I said quietly.

“I’m sorry for bringing that up then,” she said, but the look on her face showed that she was anything but sorry. “We’ll get going then.”

Alpha Cory stood there with a helpless look on his face before he turned and went with his mate. I let out a small bitter laugh. There was a lump in my throat that wouldn’t budge no matter how hard I swallowed. Talking about my mate was something I hated doing. And there was no doubt that Gail had brought it up to me on purpose.

I strolled for a bit more before finding a tree trunk and leaning against it. I didn’t know how long I stayed there like that, my thoughts all over the place. But I couldn’t count the number of tears I shed and the number of times I cursed Gail in my head.

I stood up from the trunk of the tree I had been leaning on and dusted off my pants. It was already dark, and I needed to start heading home. I knew there was nobody who cared whether I came back home or not, but the woods were dangerous in the night, and I had nobody to look after me and protect me. I smiled sadly.

I had nobody…