This Broken Beautiful Thing

After tonight I knew things were going to change. For the better that is…

I had a secret and I was finally going to tell the boy of my dreams, the love of my life, soul mate and boyfriend of the last four years.

I wasn't prepared for what actually happened…

I didn't expect to lose my boyfriend and best friend in one night…. Things weren't supposed to end this way.

My heart was ripped out, split in two and stomped on for all to see.

I was humiliated and betrayed.

How deep can the knife of betrayal cut before it’s too late to wrench it out and let the forgiveness heal?

Is forgiveness even possible when you’ve been hurt in the worst possible way?

Can a soul so broken and ruined ever be restored?

1

How am I supposed to heal from this when I have a reminder of the beautiful man whom broke me looking up to me every day?

****

Harley is the product of a one night stand. Her mother being an all-out train-wreck and her father the President of a notorious Motorcycle Club. She lives with her mother in a run-down apartment near the strip club she works for, her father lives a few hours away. To say she’s had a rough childhood is an understatement. Her life is the complete opposite to the luxury Caleb was brought up with. He is wealthy but never looks down at Harley since he is completely and utterly in love with her.

Harley has just graduated from High School, it’s their fourth year anniversary and tonight she has a secret to tell him before they head out to college and move into their new apartment together. They've been best friends since they met in Kindergarten and haven’t let anyone come between them despite being complete opposites. Caleb is the typical jock and Harley, his dorky sidekick.

What happens when Harley is betrayed...by none other than Caleb? What happens when Harley's secret is revealed? She runs to her father, now she has to learn to adapt to the Motorcycle Club life that her father leads. She has a long road ahead of her, surrounded by possessive bikers with dirty mouths and beautiful tattoo clad bodies she’s forced to understand the place of a woman in this club, even when she doesn't agree. Will Harley be able to resist Raven, the soon to be Vice President of the Club, when she captures his attention?

“Harley! Please tell me you are ready? We’re already late!“ Ashley, my best friend knocks on the bathroom door.

I look in the mirror at my reflection; I’ve left my dark red hair down naturally so it hangs in waves down my back. I’ve done my makeup quite heavy and smokey , I've even placed fake lashes on making my bright blue eyes stand out , all of which I never do but since tonight is a special night, I wanted to look good for him.

Caleb is my boyfriend; we’ve been best friends for forever. I'm the nerd and he the jock , he never acted superior to me like the others did before we started dating, we are the total opposites in all aspects.

Caleb comes from a wealthy large family, with both parents in the picture and three brothers, one older than him and twins two years younger than us. My home life doesn’t include the picture perfect family; my mother is an alcoholic who never married my father. When she met my father she was working at a strip club, the same club she works at now no less.

They weren’t an official couple when she got pregnant and he wanted my mom to move near him so he could support us. Mom being the stubborn woman she is couldn’t leave the life she led so she wouldn’t leave.

Daddy, who goes by the name of Grant, wanted to take me back with him as soon as I was born and that was the plan…until I was born. Mom was selfish and kept me even though she knew she wouldn’t be able to raise me right and look after me the way daddy could. When I would ask her why she didn’t leave me with daddy, she would say that she didn’t want me to live with a bunch of dangerous men.

Oh…. did I forget to mention my father is the president of the biggest Motorcycle Club down South called Devils Grim? Yeah…well… he is and his road name is Grim, he also had an old lady waiting for him back home while he was shacking up with momma.

Daddy introduced me to his wife, Annalie, on my ninth birthday, he came to see me and found me at home alone, momma forgot it was my birthday and was on one of her drinking binges again.

He threatened her with taking custody of me, he then decided that after keeping me a secret for nine years it was time to take me home for the weekend so I could meet his family…his club.

My father and Annalie were never able to have children so she welcomed me with open arms , so did the members of his club and I felt more at home with all of them than I ever did with my own mother.

My father is a huge man, he has dark black hair that comes just above his shoulders and is always messy. I get my eyes from my father but my body size and figure from my mother, she is short and curvy with dark red hair but she has brown eyes.

Anna desperately wanted me to live with them but I could never leave Caleb, even back then I was crushing on him but I thought he would only see me as his dorky friend. Anna soon became a mother to me and I was able to talk about boys with her knowing she would never betray my trust and tell my father.

We both knew how possessive the guys from the club are over their woman. I never really stuck around long enough when I visited my father over the years, so I never got to know the families of the club because when I was there I spent every moment I could with Anna and daddy.

Caleb knows about my home life but I never told him about who my father is and what he does, it wasn’t that I was ashamed or anything..i mean…my mother is a stripper and we live in a trailer park so it couldn’t get any worse. I knew if Caleb met my father though my dad may scare him away and I didn’t want to take that chance.

When we both started high school, the relationship between Caleb and I became different. Even though I was a total dork, once I hit puberty my skin cleared; braces came off, breasts grew and curves formed, guys started to take notice and Caleb started to look at me in a different way.

Caleb is the captain of the football team, he is tall, muscular with raven black hair and bright green eyes so obviously he always had girls hovering around him but he would never pay attention to them when i was around.

At the end of eighth grade, Caleb confessed his feelings for me, he told me how much he was in love with me, how he only ever wanted me and how he couldn’t stand the fact that other guys wanted what was his.  I told him I’m in love with him and how I never thought he would see me as anything besides the nerd I am.

We started dating and soon all his friends, the same ones that never knew I existed became my closest friends, the boys of the football team became protective over me and the bitchy cheerleaders knew to stay away from me.

I turned sixteen on the night of our grades school formal, I was in total shock when I found out that Caleb was a virgin, of course he’d done other things with girls just to keep his rep up but he had never had sex and obviously me being me... was still a virgin, I mean c’mon Caleb was my first kiss… That night we lost our virginity to each other and it was the best night of our life.

Caleb is the best boyfriend a girl could have, even though the girls still try to hook up with him , he only ever has eyes for me and I trust him with my heart completely. As we got older, Caleb and I experimented and I shared a lot of other firsts with him, our sex life was amazing and that’s probably why I’m sitting in this predicament at the moment.

We graduated senior year today and it’s our 4th year anniversary. Ashley, Caleb and I are all going to the same college a few hours away.  Caleb and I have got an apartment while Ashley wanted to try out for a fraternity house.

Caleb has been asking me to marry him every month since I turned eighteen and of course I’ve said yes but he says he’s going to propose officially as soon as he can afford to buy me a ring with his own money, he doesn’t want to spend his parents money.  I know Caleb won’t turn me away once I tell him the news tonight and that’s the reason tonight is so special because tonight I tell him that…I’m pregnant.

“Harley for God’s sake answer me!” Ash screams through the door pushing me out of my thoughts.

I open the door to look at my gorgeous best friend. She is tall and skinny with shoulder length blond straight hair. Ashley comes from a very wealthy family too; both her parents are doctors, her mother is a Gynecologist and her father a Plastic Surgeon. Her parents have also basically adopted me, they even insisted I call them mom and dad.

I always knew about Ashley and I heard about her reputation through the high school grape vine but I didn’t really did pay attention because I wasn’t all that interested in trash talking other people and I didn’t enjoy other people trash talking about our fellow class mates, so if I wasn’t with Caleb or his friends I usually just kept to myself.

One day i was sitting in the library and Ashley was doing detention for PDA in the boy’s locker room, as her punishment she had to help put books away in the library the entire week after school. She wasn’t sure how to place the books so I showed her. Even though I knew she was quite trashy amongst the guys, I found that I enjoyed her company and her crudeness. We became friends, I ignored the remarks the guys made about her and the warnings they gave me. We got along great and we were soon as close as sisters, I think the fact that just like Caleb and I, Ash and I were total opposites. She is the girl that guys like Caleb should be dating. She is hot and she knows it.

“Wow, you look gorgeous girl!” she whistles as she opens the door.

I’m wearing black ankle boot heels with a curve hugging tight mid-thigh black dress; it has a corset type front and is something I wouldn’t usually wear.

“You should see what I have underneath…” I wink at her. ”And besides I’m not going to have this figure for long so I guess I should use it while I can.” I giggle and wink at her. ‘You look amazing Ash!” I tell her as I look her over.

She is wearing a bright red dress that is even shorter than mine, if she bends over I could probably see her ass but because she is skinny and tall it looks good on her. She has black stilettos that just make her already long legs lengthier.

“Yeah babe who knew you had all those curves hidden under those hideous clothes you wear!” She teases and I playfully smack her ass as she bends to look in the mirror, putting lip gloss on, she squeals. ”Hay! You nervous for tonight?” she asks, Ash and her mother are the only people that know about the baby and Ash knows how important tonight is for me and Caleb.

Two weeks ago I wasn’t feeling too well and I was describing my symptoms to Ash’s mother, Brenda, the thought that I could possibly be pregnant didn’t even occur to me since I’ve been on the pill since we started having sex. No one explained to me that when I take antibiotics it would cancel out the birth control part of the pill.

I had to take antibiotics because I had sprained my hand while the guys from the football team where playing flag football with me. Brent playfully tackled me and I landed on my hand. Caleb nearly kicked his ass for hurting me but he saw how bad Brent felt about it, he wouldn’t stop apologizing to me , my hand was better within a week. From that day onwards the guys from the team have been much gentler with me…I think they forget that I’m basically half the size of them and I could break easily.

“Nah I know he will be happy, you know how Caleb is…I just wana go see him, I miss him, I’ve hardly seen him all day…" i say , "Let’s go girl!”  she says and i squeal with excitement as we make our way out her house to our graduation party that the footballers are throwing at one of their parent’s cabins.

Since I can’t drink , I’m the designated driver so I make my way to my white Ford Fiesta that dad bought me when I passed my drivers and we head to the party. As we get closer to the cabin where the party is being held we turn onto a dust road and wooded area.

Obviously they chose this place for a good reason, there’s not much houses around so people can't argue about the loud noise and since there will be a LOT of underage drinking going on , no one will bug us.

I park the car and we head up to the massive log cabin, we told Caleb we would be there at nine and it’s already ten thirty.

“Harley Ryder! Is that you?” I look over to Brent , who is Caleb’s best friend, he’s looking at me up and down making me feel rather uncomfortable. I try reach for Ash to help me out of this one , but she’s nowhere to be found in the crowded house. Brent is just like Caleb looks wise, apart from his blond hair and blue eyes, he is also tall and muscular, Brent is like a brother to me and him looking at me up and down like he just did makes me feel REALLY uncomfortable.

“Hey Brent! Yip it’s me.” I say as I give him a shy smile.

“Damn girl! You look HOT! Caleb and I are going to spend the entire evening fighting the boys off you.” He teases as he gives me a tight hug. He isn’t drunk yet but I can smell the beer on him and it just grosses me out even more.

‘Speaking of Caleb, have you seen him?” I ask Brent trying to change the subject.

“Yeah , saw him earlier chatting with some of the guys , he kept asking if you’ve arrived yet but we never saw you come in. Do you want me to help you look for him? Let’s get a drink for you in the meantime.” He says and walks off but I grab his arm and say, “no thanks Brent, I’m going to find the bathroom, I’ll be back now but if you spot him keep him with you and I’ll come find you okay?”

“Sure thing babe.” He says as he walks off smiling at me.

I turn to find my way to the bathroom and I notice a couple of guys looking at me the same way Brent just did…with lust in their eyes and a few even wink. Arg gross! I desperately need a pee so I walk a little faster trying to make my way to bathroom. I spot stairs and walk up them, I notice the whole party is down stairs and no one is at the top floor, the bass from the speakers downstairs can be felt through the floor but it’s a little quieter up here.

I make my way down the long hallway when I hear these loud moaning noises, I stop because the voice is familiar. Oh God Ashley we haven’t even been here for fifteen minutes and she’s already screwing someone. I think to myself shaking my head I turn to walk away when I hear another familiar voice.

“Keep quiet , just bend over, open your legs and don’t fucking touch me!” Caleb says in a menacing tone, one he’s never used on me before. I back away against the wall opposite the door where the noises are coming from. The pain in my heart hurts so bad, my trembling hand over my heart as I stand leaning against the wall that’s holding me up for support. I just stand there frozen, I try to move but my legs just won’t budge. I knew it was all too good to be true, how could he ever be satisfied with me? Ash is the perfect girl for him…she’s everything… I’m not.

I continue to stand there listening to her moans and his grunting. I can feel the tears tumbling down my face, and the make-up I did so perfectly to please him is probably running... all ruined.

“You okay Harlz?” Brent comes up beside me, I didn’t even hear him come up the stairs.

He looks at me and then turns and looks at the door, “No…It’s not…It can’t be…” he says shocked as he too can hear the noises from the room. I nod my head and his face goes all red and he tenses his jaw holding back the anger, he goes for the door but I stop him and whisper , “don’t …just wait…” he nods and pulls me in for a hug while I hear the door open from behind him.

I push aside Brent revealing a distraught looking Caleb, he spots me and is as pale as a sheet with his mouth gaping open, he looks at what I’m wearing and the look of lust comes across his face and it just repulses me as much as it did when the other guys looked at me that way.

Ashley bumps into him while she was paying attention to fixing her dress. A couple more people have now made their way upstairs and are looking to see what’s happening.

“You guys have fun? All finished now? Sure you don’t want to have a quickie in the next room?” I say sarcastically pointing my finger to the door behind me , I’m wiping away the tears from my face but it’s no use they keep betraying the brave façade I’m trying to portray.

“Harlz it’s not…I mean …I can explain…she meant nothing. I only love you... I’ve never done this before! I swear. I’m so so sorry …Please… Harley? Say something!” Caleb rambles on as he comes closer to me but I just step back.

“Don’t fucking touch me! It meant nothing to YOU? Well it means SOMETHING to me!” I shout at him. “If you didn’t want to be with me why not just tell me? Why cheat Caleb? WHY?” I yell as the tears start to fall again.

“No Baby I want to be with you, I love you Harlz this was just a mistake! My head wasn’t clear. I’m going to marry you remember?  Please just forgive me!” he pleads and I can see the tears fall down his face showing the regret. I’ve never seen Caleb cry before, he always shows this brave exterior, especially towards all his male friends, but right now he’s weeping like a baby.

I look to Ashley and she has her hands covering her mouth I see the same look of regret covering her face.

“Harley please, I don’t know what I was thinking! I didn’t really think he would take my offer up. I’m so sorry... you’re my sister, my best friend , this was a mistake , please don’t hate me. Please!” she squeals as she bursts out in tears. I look at the people around me, their faces show the sadness and sorrow they feel for me  knowing Caleb and I were the “cutest couple” in school and I see the disgusted looks and head shakes they are giving both Caleb and Ashley.

I just turn my head in disgust over her, the slut that I see in front of me, “You know how many times I defended you when people would talk shit behind your back saying what a whore you were? Well Ashley THAT... was a mistake because you ARE a fucking whore!”

I look over at Caleb again and see the tears continue to make their way down his face, he’s trying to get closer to me but Brent won’t let him.

I look down at my trembling hands as I say the following words because if I look at his sad shameful face I might just cave in and forgive his cheating ass.

“Guess you and Ashley don’t have to hide anymore now that I’m out of the picture. You guys can shack up in your little apartment and live happily ever after… without me…” tears fall from my face as I look up to Caleb as the realization that my whole future I was planning not even an hour before has just crumbled before me.

“You cant leave me Harley! I don’t want to live with her, I want you!” Caleb roars.

“Well… she’s all you have right now because I don’t want you! I can’t even look at you. Arg…you both disgust me. I fucking hate you right now, you were the ONE good thing I had and now i don’t want anything to do with you…BOTH of you! Just stay away from me and I’ll stay away from you.“

I say as I back away and run through the crowds and out the house. I can hear Caleb calling me even through the loud speakers, hopefully Brent can hold him off for a while, while I make my escape.